Green Glucose Tabs and Ham

I wish to dedicate this poem to the below blood glucose number, without which I would be just another uninspired
writer. I really enjoyed Amy's Dr.Seuss poem(Diabetes Mine), but it almost feels like someone has already written a diabetes poem about this.(if there is, I will delete this immeadiently and stop the infringing on their masterpiece)















I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am.


That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green glucose tablets and fat-free-ham?

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green glucose tablets and fake ham.

Would you like lows
here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.


Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.

I could have one in a car
An ambulance, is never far.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in wild cherry!

I would not, could not, in that taste
Produces such a nasty paste.

Would you, could you, on a plane?
Would you, could you, in the rain?

I could have one in the rain
Liquify my half mushed brain
I could have one on a plane
Pretzel carbs, alas, in vain.

Would you, could you, in a store?
Would you, could you, out the door?

I could have one out the door
Grab two tabs, and search for more
I could have one in a store
Earthquakes radiate my core.

Would you, could you, at the docs?
Would you, could you, as a jock?

I could have one at the doc's
Guzzle juice, to stop the shocks
I could never be a jock
Fastest one against the clock.

Would you, could you, in a chair
While the dentist pokes in there?
Whould you, could you, on a date
Sweetness just a tad too late?

I could have one in the chair
(Novocaine makes that quite rare)
I could have one on a date
Petrify potential mates.

I do not like them, Sam I am
I do not like those hypo jams!

Would you, could you, after lunch?
Would you, could you, in a crunch?

I could have one after lunch
Yell at folks and take a punch
I could have one in a crunch
Diabetes, thanks a bunch!

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I could have one in the dark
Hand feeds mouth(the hungry shark)

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

I have tried them, Sam.

I have tried them in the car
I have tried them on a plane
I have tried them in the rain
I have tried them out the door
I have tried them in a store
I have tried them at the docs
I have tried them in my futile attempts at being a jock.
I have tried them in the chair
I have tried them on a date
I have tried them after lunch
I have tried them in a crunch
I have tried them in the dark
I have tried them here and there
I have tried them everywhere.

I do not like those hypo jams
I do not like them, Sam I Am!

I will try the tabs and ham
Maybe you got a bad bunch from CamAm...

Say! You are right
This combo, it is way too light.
We will get the real stuff then,
Repeat the whole darn book again.

A Sunny/Rainy Day Package

I would like to thank my secret(well, not anymore) sussy giver..

she did great at picking out just what I wanted. Seriously, it's like she could read my mind. Even though it was cold/rainy when it came, it made the day a bit sunnier.

First out of the box:
















with this:



















Thank you, thank you, thank you. I need some de-stressing therapy, I can't wait to try it out at my next endo appt.,sometimes I desperately need to whap something.(or someone,unfortunately thats just not an option no matter how much of a jerk they're being)
And just in time, for those insanely cold winter nights:














With a Minnesota state pin + mini name keychain. I don't have any pins from there yet, so this definatly a new one for my collection.
And this, for my chocolate-nut addiction:















Lastly, a memo note pad:














Thanks, Minnesota Nice!

Unearthed

A FFL goodie, stuck on my cellphone:













I was quite possibly the only one (over the age of 6) who had fun, doing this. It was a focus group sponsored by Abbott(Theme:How do you feel about your meter?) and you had to cut/paste stuff from magazines. I choose food, because thats the simplest concept I could find. Without meters...we would be stuck back in the 20th century, testing our urine + on a very strict diet. No wedding cakes, cookies, baked hams,pies, cobblers and a thousand other very wonderful goodies.I also put 15 items on the page(which was a stretch, it got pretty cramped!)and in the crunch for time, not all the stuff was food related.

Choices & Craigslist

Well, I did it, I sold something on Craigslist. It is a whole other game from Ebay, because you have to go out and MEET the person somewhere. You don't know if they're a mass murderer or what. I wish I knew karate, or something.(if I'm going to be doing this on a regular basis)MD is one of those "May (not) Issue" concealed weapon permit states, vs VA(one of those "Shall Issue to every Joe Blow under the Sun" states). Fortuantly, the person didn't do any of that, but it was a very anxious half hour. A gun,(in the vehicle) would give me so much more presence of mind.(I'm a
5"2 petite gal, do you blame me? it wouldn't take much to do me in) Met in a very public place(to attempt to be as safe as possible).

The recent news RE immunosuppressive free transplantees is extremely interesting to me. For many people with diabetes, this could be BIG. (if they could get it to work with the pancreas/islets)Knock off the nasty drugs, and wouldn't a transplant do more good then harm? Obviously, so people have transplants and have nothing but problems(from acne to Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome)but most people do pretty well. Why they can't predict any of this is frustrating. This is the 21st century, The Golden Age of DNA Research- and the secret of the cell lies just as locked as its ever been. Why they can't they run a test and tell you what kind of drug you need(based on how your DNA is) instead of trying them all out.

Personally, I have no problems with people getting pancreas + islets transplants. More power to them, they know what they're getting into(and what they're trying to leave behind) They've lived a life of diabetes, and are exhausted by it(body and soul)The chance to start clean is either necessary(for survival)or very much longed for. They're not "failures" or "weak." Alot of people with diabetes seem to have this idea that a transplant is a copout,(some of those people could really use a transplant themselves, have horrible hypo unawareness) but man, these people are just trying to make it. If I were in that situation(kidney failure, retinopathy, severe hypo unawareness with no CGMS, other complications) you'd better believe I'd want a transplant. There is a limit to my macho-ness(see below!)
KF=need for immuno drugs anyway,retinopathy= going blind(high probability + I do not handle blindness well), and hypo unaware=gambling with your life on a regular basis.
Right now I am blessed to be in (relatively) good health but the day may come that I go down that road myself, and its not as scary to me as the never ending list of things that diabetes can do to one.

Genuinely Sussified

I have been Dexcomless for the past two weeks, and the bgs have reflected that. Mostly highs(flirting with lows scares me, so I preferred to ruin my next a1c,its better then not waking up the next morning). Managed to lose(throw away???) my transmitter. The transmitter is that $250 piece that snaps into the sensor. Dexcom generously agreed to send me a new sensor out with my sensor shipment. Wellllllll, that didn't happen(shipment #1) so it took a couple of weeks to finally get one.(but at least they didn't charge me:)

As expected, it spat out a nice reading somewhere in the mid 300's. I bolus, eat
lunch.












One of these:














unfortunately doesn't help.(so much for limiting sugar binges,at 18 carbs/pack of 2 it really is a tasty little snack)15 minutes later and I'm in need of a juice box.Welcome back to good control.

Finally got my Dexcom computer program installed, so I will be able to see the trends,
etc.I've never really done anything like this before(even with a meter),I'm not
that hard core of a diabetic. I've got to make the technology work for me, it does no good if I have it/don't use it.












And...one lucky person will get THIS:
(as I squeak by the deadline by a measly 2 days)
I'm also eagerly anticipating my OWN sussy arrival!

Some Snowy Day Humor

posted on Craigslist:
(1/17/08)

Snow removal for as low as $25

another posting:(a short time later)

Come on over you can have all the snow you want for free, don't even have to pay me the $25.

(I'll wait for the snowplows,thanks)

recent keyword activity:

-antismoling(word of the day)
I think they meant anti smoking...
because that's where they ended up!
Kinda cool word though, if it ever made it into existence. What would it mean, being against using smoke to drive out moles in the ground?

It's Still Dia-be-tes to Me

Whats the matter with the shirt I'm wearing
Can't you tell that it's stained with pies
Maybe I should buy some old TesTape
Welcome back to the Age of Lies.

Where have you been hiding out lately, honey
A cure ain't cheap, gonna take a ton of money
Everyone's talking 'bout the new craze, funny
but its still Suckage City to me..

What's the matter with the strips I'm using
Can't you tell that they're out of date
Should I get a new CWD t-shirt
Maybe, if you're looking for a type 1 mate..
Nowadays, you can't be too sentimental
Get off the NPH, bgs will be a lot more gentle
Hot Pink,Wild Mink, every time a coin clinks
It's still the big 'beates to me.


Ohhhh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers
cuz it's always been the same old stuff
Highs-lows-money woes- trying to act like you're big and tough
We've all had more then enough.
(as the patience factor collectively goes puff...)

How about mix of purple Deltec
And a Flash, just for show
You could really be in the "in" crowd
If you'd just stop jabbing through the pants
Don't waste your money on a pair of "D" socks
It's a marketing scheme, one huge gigantic hoax
The quick buck,big crook,no luck, major suck
And it's not a good buy for me.


What's the matter with the greens I'm eating
(At the moment, your bg is way too low)
Should I try to have a 4.5 a1c
If you do, then you care too much.
Don't you know about the new research,buddy
Too many hypos will sap all your brain(cells) and money
It's the dream shot,cool thought,tough knot, no one's fault
But it's still too darn risky for me.

Everybody's talking 'bout the new D
funny
but it's still just the same for me..

it isn't really going anywhere!

You've Got Mail!

My new mouse pad, with that special MiniMed touch.










Go HERE. This thing rocks,
I can actually read the lettering (now)without putting my old person glasses on.
.










FREE STUFF!(certificate)
-Facing the Giants DVD
-2 Liter Dr Pepper Product
-3 pk Pop Secret popcorn pack
(date night, here we come!)















Glucerna coupons. If there's a national disaster, I'm sure I'll be glad for whatever form of sustenance may come my way.(including disgusting nutritional drinks)














My New Years Resolution(s) included eating more nuts. First step in that direction,getting a nutcracker. Macadamia nuts are great, but impossible to crack
and we've got a slew of them(compliments of in-laws). If this doesn't work, its time
to get a vice.

Funny how all of my mail today could be considered diabetes related...(item #3,for emotional health in dealing with the day-to-day crud)

I Do, I Do, I Do

In this fair city of 1 million plus, it seems to be impossible to get an endocrinology appointment ANYWHERE.(that is, until April) I just about died when the receptionist told me that, down where I used to live endocrinology was not the hot field- you could get in practically anytime + you never had to wait more then a week. Heck, if it were really an emergency they'd always manage to squeeze you in. I don't need an appt. urgently, but like any good little pwd I figured between 3-4 months was best. I would kinda like to know what my new and improved(big woot for Dexcom!) a1c is, and on the incessant nagging of my new pcp I bit the bullet to schedule it. I really just don't have any luck with convincing primary care doctors that I'm not the worst D to walk the earth. My new one is good enough, just (over) zealous to make me into something I'm not. (super bg control,etc.) Also...need 10 zillion rx's written and a new appeal to the new insurance company to cover sensors. Which is gonna take awhile(if ever) to get them covered, but since the authorization codes just came out there's more hope then there was. I know my old endo could be counted on (in a pinch), but she's 300 miles away + probably more then ready to get me out of her hair.

I miss cows.
I miss corn.
I miss not having to lock your doors at night.
I miss DMV"s that aren't as complicated as Grand Central Station.
I miss minor traffic jams(once every month, vs. twice a day)
I miss cashiers who actually give a rap.
I miss cashiers who actually speak English.
I miss mountains.
I miss live receptionists, not answering machines.
I miss cheap grocery stores.
I miss my favorite radio shows.
I miss grits, cornbread, and all foods Southern.
I miss arguing with my coworkers over elections
I miss nights on the 'squad
I miss my superly unorganized refridgerator
I miss hot dog eating contests
I miss snow that actually requires shoveling out
I miss horses + buggies
I miss farmer's markets
I miss parking spots(vs having to park 2 blocks away), half empty parking lots

I like the city..to a point. The shopper in me has a blast, but the sheer mass of individuals flooding said stores makes it impossible to get much of anything accomplished. I could hit a slew of stores + get all my shopping accomplished quickly- now I have to spend all day driving around.

In the Bleak Midwinter

...something lives still.

Cops: Edition 301

"Hands on the hood, now!"


I've just gotten back into my car + a 2.5 hr trip to the MVA,(aka Department of Motor Vehicles)where I've spent enough money to take a family of four out to a nice restaurant. Sad thing is, I've only managed to acquire a lisence- not my registration + new tags.Before I can get those, I've got to get my stupid car inspected/get new insurance. So many things to do, and all dependent on government + the USPS.(changing one's name is a humongous hassle)
That-and the state of MD's New Year's present to everyone was a 1% jump in the sales tax.(5 to 6%)

207 on my Dex, but lately its been about 40 points off so I know I'm almost in range.Walking will PUT me in range, by supper time.

"Lay off me man, I ain't doin' nothin!"

A nice, quiet, suburban Kmart parking lot. 3 cops jump out + start banging on the windshield, force the occupants of the red car out.

"You've got stolen merchandise in your vehicle. Or is it even yours?"

"Its my friends."

"Hands on the hood-whats your friend's name?"

"Its ---"

"What's her phone number?"

"Man, I dunno, its just his car."

"You just said it was a her.Which is it?"

Handcuffs come out, cussing, on the ground. This is like the unedited edition of a Cops episode.

3 more cops cars show up.

They start pulling things from the car-sneakers, dvds, bags of clothing from Macys. The yelling continues, + the senior cop is getting annoyed.

"Ok, listen up- you've got 10 seconds to tell me where you got this stuff before your little misdemeanor charges become a felony + you go to jail for a LOT longer."

He counts:

"10...9...8..7...6...5...4...3...2....1...0. Congratulations, you've booked yourselves a felony."

The hair on the back of my neck prickles, man this cop is tough. Really glad its not me, on his bad side.

Escort occupants of red(stolen?) vehicle to cop cars, drives off. The other cops continue pulling stuff out of the car.

Some people have worse problems then I do, it all helped put things in perspective.I'm grateful to have been raised right.

2007 in Review

January:

Two Guys on a Roof


February:

Out of The Dark Side


March:

8 tips to appearing on TV


April:

Dreamcatcher


May:

Ballad of a Beta Queen


June:

Grass Green: Color my Yard Sale


July:

Leavin' on a Jet Plane


August:

The Element of Glucose


September:

A Freudian Self-Analysis


October:

Joining the Ranks

November:

Days of Our Lives(Chapter 2)


December:

Reflections..on the OC Challenge

It's Elementary, of Course

Ongoing series on YouTube, too cute!

Left Coast Christmas

The proof is in the wrapper:








For an East Coaster, eating at a Carl's JR is a surreal experience.(It's HARDEES, people!!!) There's some weird thing tacked onto it now(Green Burrito), because anything thats not really Mexican food is not really popular(out west). But it was cool, regardless of that nagging little feeling that the name was all wrong and it should be Hardees, nationwide.


Had a good trip out west, flew into LAX Saturday night-Sunday morning. Stayed a few days in the SF Valley driving around,finishing up shopping,etc.Went to husbands parents house, stayed till the 26th.

Christmas Day-(morning)celebrations at their house. In the afternoon, went to extended familial Christmas celebrations.
Differences between my family and the rest of civilization:

We don't give socks,shirts,pants, or any other articles of clothing. And we don't open presents one at a time(we'd be all day doing it, due to the largeness of said family). In my new family..the exact opposite is the case. Most of the articles, clothing. I like new clothes but I'm not accustomed to it coming as a gift. And there is always the element of not liking something you've received.Something to get used to.

I was the only person(except for babies/kids) who wasn't drinking alcoholic beverages, eating extremely sugary carbo-laden goodies all day. I ate some,but exercised restraints. And the alcohol, I left alone enterily.(besides being a lightweight, my bgs were doing enough exotic things that day)
I felt, different. All over again. Normal people drink alcohol(several times a week, or more), drink juice for breakfast(I never drink juice, unless I'm having a low)
eat sweets with wild abandon, go out for a walk without computing the am-I-too-high-or-low-for-this? factor and do a ton of other things. You go to someone else's house,(on the other side of the country)and they are extremely wonderful people who would bend over backwards to make you feel welcome but there is no diet coke, nothing remotely healthful,and everyone else is partaking generously of holiday cheer and you can't help but to feel different. Just like that 17 year old, fresh out of the hospital + going into a radically different world. Will it ever change-these occasional flashes of being the alien from another planet?
I'm better at being accommodating + understanding of normal people's habits, but after 9 years the feelings of being different still reemerge and leave me wishing I wasn't different, wasn't the "diabetic," And explaining to another family about the carbs/sweets thing- generally impossible, in the name of politeness you eat SF stuff
and don't eat as much of the good stuff as you'd like.

Thank goodness Christmas is just once a year. Now we'll go down to my families Christmas celebrations, where I repeat the exact same scenario(but with the aid of
Diet Coke, I will prevail)Thank you, Coca Cola. Just once, I'd like to have a Christmas party D-style, fresh fruits/veggies/meats/carbo counts on everything/and no alcohol.(yeah,I know D's can drink alcohol but its just so difficult to figure out)
And no Food Nazis admitted.

Pirate Loot

I love Kmart. Do not particurally enjoy the hours spent in explaining to cashiers,CSR's,and managers how to transact their own promotions, but lets
face it,Harvard graduates do not run this company.(or work in the checkout lanes)If
they did, they wouldn't have these promotions in the first place.Cashed out
big on this promo...$90 investment netted me a cool(well,you can count)and
I hope to go back for more. Hope the stores out in CA are lenient with this promo. Can finally get a new digital camera-my old one hit the dust post-Hawaii(+ I lost the pictures that were on it.(((because I hadn't downloaded them yet)

Cops:Edition 201

The steady click,click, gnawing (precisely like a mouse,and believe me,I know mice) emitting from my car's hood wasn't diminishing. Quite the contrary, it was growing to epic proportions as my car creaked-groaned its way up the hill, onto the interstate.

My temperature gauge climbed as well-well into the "hot" zone. I eased off on the gas, trying to give it a break, but no go, in a couple of seconds, it would exceed the max reading. Panic- slow down, get off on shoulder. Put emergency blinkers on.


And then I see the lights. Blue, flashing, lovely lights. Cops!

Try not to hyperventilate, check blood sugar. I cannot be low, I cannot be low-visions of being hypoglycemic in a jail cell dance through my mind.
135. Not low.

"Maam, is something the matter?" the concerned cop asks.

"My car is overheating."

"Do you need me to call anyone?"
"I'm going to try to call my parents."

He nods, circles the car.

"Are you a student?"

"Noo...."

"I'm asking because nothing on your car is legal. You need to pull up to the guardrail,this isn't a good spot to be parked."

Pull up. Open glove compartment, flash state stickers in cops face.
"See, I'm legal. Just haven't put them on yet."

"Ok. Where do your folks live?"

"20 minutes down the road."

Can't reach my dad on his cellphone, so agree to have vehicle towed. 5 minutes later, my dad calls back. Towtruck shows up.

"You should be good now."

Cops are generally wonderful people..servants of the public and all that but man they make me so nervous. I stutter, drop things, and act like an idiot(even when I'm NOT low)

Towed to shop, 2 hours (and many $$'s) later- thermostat replaced, gasket replaced. Good as new. Annoying thing is, I'd just had my car serviced 3 days previously and they didn't say a word(maybe it isn't something you can tell is going to happen).
I'm glad this didn't turn into the D edition of "Cops" (it did once, same breakdown spot,cop told the towtruck to take me to the Subway + get food into me before anything else). Ahh, the situations one can find one self in.

Enchanted

The morning frost lies thick on the windshield, as I jam my key into the ignition, hoping it doesn't take forever to defrost. My wonderful husband has already brushed the snow off, and I have precisely 45 minutes to do that,drive to where I'm supposed to go,find parking,hustle inside,and do it.

Time for the big guns, speed up the process.


Slosh about a cup on the windshield, hoping it works. I've read somewhere Coke is good for this, and I figure Diet Coke should be too. It does ok, and I'm off.

Finish errand, its 11:14. Discover I've not packed glasses and bg meter. Frantic dash home, pickup. Get gas and chips(lunch). Windshield is now encrusted in thick white slime. Wait till I get past the 95-66 triangle before I pull over, (not very smart, because most of the time I was driving with the sun in my eyes + a messy windshield)rub snow on it, and wipe it off with Kleenex. Redneck guy laughs at me."Think its clean enough now?" Drive like mad to get to hospital by 3 pm.

Register, its 2:55 pm.Feel pretty good about getting there on time. Settle in with ipod. Chief Resident breezes by, recognizes me(pretty good for a 1-shot deal nearly two months ago) + apologizes for the delay. Sometimes I think these people either have a photographic memory-or I am so ugly no one could possibly forget what I look like. 4 pm, I go over to the front desk and ask where I am in the lineup. Discover it'll be another half hour because my appointment was actually at 2 pm, not 3. This does not delight me,I fume for the next 15 minutes. Eventually, someone calls my new name(which I still haven't gotten used to) and we go back.

There are some doctors that stand out, and this guy is definatly one of them. But not in a bad way, he doesn't say two words about the diabetes.I've had eye doctors tell me I'm practically a canidate for instant death(these aren't endos, mind you, just opthomologists) unless I get a handle on my a1cs. This guy loves to talk,and loves to talk to his patients about THEIR lives, not just x-y-z what are your concerns today. He asks if I've memorized the chart yet, which I haven't(but he has).
The next 30 minutes fly by, and there is no time to do one of the tests(visual fields). So he tells me to help myself to the stash of Oreos in the bottom lefthand drawer while he goes + checks on what to do about that one test.(automatically elevating his own status to world's funniest AND nicest resident) His own private stash, no less. He comes back, the list of VF testees for the following day was about
a foot high(no kidding)+ if I stuck around, I'd likely be waiting on nothing. So, I will have to schedule it later.(another 3.5 hr drive, one way) The VF test is important because it was abnormal back in October.Chief Resident initially said I had optic neuritis,but the MRI was normal. My eye doesn't hurt anymore so they'll just wait on this repeat test to see if its worse or better.If its stable or improved thats good, and if its getting worse thats bad + time for steroid therapy.

Head down to cafeteria,get sandwich to go. Jump into car, drive to B&BWorks where I get 9 Wallflower packs/2 soaps for $39(valued at $114.50). Hit up CVS,eat sandwich, drive back to hometown, watch "Enchanted" at movie theater(excellent movie,as anything with Patrick Dempsey just has to be) + stay overnight at parents.Next day, run a few errands, schedule VF test + go back up north(arriving on the Outer Loop just in time for the Fri.after work traffic) Spend a couple of extra hours moving 2 mph.This was 1.5 weeks ago.

Tomarrow,going to head back down there for the visual fields test. I also have to swing by the landladys(deposit has failed to appear), go to the Social Security office to officially change my name,return a slew of things to various stores,redeem several gift certificates that expire tomarrow,do some more Christmas shopping,+ generally tear my hair out trying to get everything done.Should be fun.

Reflections..on the O.C.Challenge

Back in January, a group of us D's(and type 3's) decided to go where no D has ever gone before, challenging ourselves in new, cruel,and unusual ways.

Many of us..didn't make our goals. I know I didn't, I think I stopped seriously thinking about it shortly after getting engaged in May. Too many other things to stress out about.

To everyone who made(or will make) it, my hearty kudos. To everyone who tried + didn't, you're in good company. (the best, actually) In 17 days, you'll have a brand-spanking new chance to resolve better things.

At least my a1c went down(1.0 points)+ while my weight went up 5 pounds,I'm not quite on the verge of morbid obesity. Since I'm not working(currently),its easy to pack on those pounds even if one only ate one meal a day.(which I don't)Time to get me to a gym(actually,would make a nice Christmas gift,but if not,should invest in that for both me & hubby)after I find a half-way decent one up here. I don't feel like I failed, my a1c is a long way from my "dream" a1c, but realistically speaking I have only ever been close to that once.(6 years ago,after starting on the pump) Yes, it still sucks, but I'm just the type to want results NOW.(versus 3 months from now) I'm thankful for another year of avoiding horrible complications(dumb luck),+ I'm resolved to keep getting on/falling off the bandwagon for the rest of my life.(hopefully doing more getting on, then falling off)

Aloha from Oahu

Monday,Nov.12, 8:30 AM.

I don't want to get up, but its obvious that I'm having the first reaction of my married life. Mild-but present.

71 mg/dl.

Quick glucose shot,
3 tabs. 20 minutes, 134,during which time I think about glucagon +shrieking fire engines and I know,husband isn't ready for that level of in-your-face diabetes reality. I'm not either, but no one EVER is. (jelly limbs, mushy brain,flailing limbs a la carte)

Our Lanai(porch,with ocean view):











Off to Micky D's. On the corner, there's a guy passing out restaurant bucks + telling everyone how much better they are then McD's.Plus, a buck cheaper. Well, maybe.(that remains to be seen)

In Hawaii,fresh pineapple trays come with every extra value meal(easily the most nutriotious thing on the menu) and you can get coconut mini-pies all day.(instead of apple pies,here on the US mainland) An interesting cultural touch.

4 units of insulin-gonna be soakin' the beach, and that may drop me like a stone.Would rather underbolus...back to hotel,hang on beach, enjoying sun + gentle waves for the next few hours.Waikiki Beach is pretty, but way too rocky.(leastwise,our part was!) Feet got pretty sore.

277 (1 unit)
269

Well, all things considered, not bad(for 4 hours off the pump).Sometimes you just don't know what direction you're going to go.
5 hours later, my back erupts in a fiery red swirly pattern(aheee,forgot the sunscreen on certain parts). Welcome to Paradise. Then, my sensor goes completely kaput(not enhanced by the sand irritation)+ I yank it, its just too hard to keep it from being irritated.Pump set does too..so I change it. It is very windy, and sand goes everywhere.(head to toes) Hence the exotic sunburn.Good thing I packed the Aloe Vera gel.Husband got burned too-never underestimate the power of the Pacific Sun.(even in November)

Ocean View:












Later, we walk around Honolulu, go to the (humongous,largest in Hawaii) mall,3 floors-160+ shops. There are no Bath & Body works stores there,which makes the Hawaiians desperate to buy that stuff on Ebay.(trust me,I know)A mall without B&BW feels sort of incomplete to me-because I always stop in there,when I go to a mall.They had most everything else,and a ton of stores that only millionaires would frequent.Ate a late supper there, walked back to hotel.
Pearl Harbor was next on our agenda.

A Slice of Life,Love,and the big D

On one cold, December night..

My Wild Spending Spree

Most intelligent action of day:


Yanking out my 6 hour old sensor.($60, down the drain) I was so mad at myself, especially since the last sensor lasted 13 days.


Second most intelligent action of the day:


Yanking out my 4 hour old infusion set.($12, down the drain)


I am sooooo clumsy. Time to lather up in superglue. Leg sites tend to be a more of a problem then abdominal sites, in this regard...but I never thought that they wouldn't even last a day.(they were in differant legs)I don't think I trust myself with another sensor tonight.

Officially Here

(Last weekend, we just got the rain..anyway,I love the first snowfall of winter, it's so pretty-assuming you don't have to drive through it in rush hour traffic.)

Your Virtual Endo Consult

Press "1" if you're experiencing a health question or concern.

Press "2" if you'd like to speak with a nurse(sometime in the next month.)

Press "3" if you'd like to schedule an appointment.


1. Hello, this is your virtual endo speaking, how can I help you today?

-My blood sugars are whacky.(A)

-I have another D concern.(B)

-I'd like to know the results of my latest & greatest
a1c test(C)

-I'm bored, and I just wanted to know if you would
tell me again if avoidance of that box of KK donuts
will absolutely add another 5 minutes to my life or
if I just go ahead and live it up.(D)

-How much is this consult going to cost me??(E)

2. You have reached the message box of EMT-B Heidi.Please leave your name,email,and credit card number + we'll get back to you asap.Thank you.Sorry if you expected to reach a real doctor,that ain't happening. But if it makes you feel better,someday I will be a nurse,if you plan on sticking around that long.

A. Press (!) if you're over 600 mg/dl
Press :-((((( if you're under 40 mg/dl
Press :) if you're perfect
B. Choose your concern:
A1. Complications
B1.Insurance Woes
C1.My Neighbors Cat
D1.Everything else.

C. ER, yes. Ok, now enter your Medic Alert number...

D.Dude, KK is ALWAYS worth it.That's not the ADA line,but its what you wanted to hear,right? So go ahead and bolus well,don't let D dictate your life.Just remember,all things in moderation.

E. It all depends.So far,$10 per word,or a measily $2000+. Keep reading.

(!) So you're high.Wayyy too high,as you well know.How long have you been this way?
!1 under 2 hours
!2 2:4 hours
!3 4 + hours

!1Check ketones..troubleshoot pump.Take injection immeadiently.Recheck ketones+ bg, in a couple hours.
Drink tons of fluids.

What are you now?
J1moderate ketones,250 mg/dl
J2trace ketones, 200 mg/dl
J3moderate ketones,300 mg/dl

J1 You're not out of the woods yet.Keep drinking fluids,sugared as well as plain,to replenish calories.Take additional boluses,as needed.

J2 You're fine. I don't care if your stomach is throbbing fit to beat the band,ketones are nasty little buggers + thats to be expected.You're out immenant danger. Plus,you probably just have a little stomach virus.(its always a stomach virus!)Nothing for us to waste our valuable time over.

J3 Take more insulin.NOW. Go back to !1


!2 Repeat J1,call if bg not coming down.
!3 Go to the ER(if ketones not coming down).That's assuming you're still conscious.

A1-B1. Worried about complications,yes,we feel your pain.America is eating itself to death,T2 and T1 is on the rise,and many people can't even afford basic meds.
Keep your chin up,and do the best you can, that's all we can say.

C1 So,your neighbors cat does its business all over your front bushes?It very likely may have diabetes.See if you can get a dipstick reading off it..and if its positive,you have your answer right there.

2C- 00000000000001
Your latest a1c was 7.6 Keep it up,you'll get there.

D1 I wasn't aware there were any,thought I'd covered it pretty well. Press "3" to schedule an appointment,we should obviously talk about this.

#3 Ok, you wish to make an appointment. How soon?
N.Today
O.Sometime in the next week
W.SOmetime in the next month

N.You're in luck!we have an appointment for you in 10 minutes.Would you like to accept this appointment?
Y or N
Yes-I can make it
No-That isn't enough time to get out of the house,much less to your office.

O. Sorry,nothing available.Switching to W...

W. Thank you, your appointment is scheduled for Dec.24 at 4:45 PM.Have a nice day,and we look forward to serving you!

A:-(((( Eat, eat,and eat.Call us back when you're able to hold a rational conversation(assuming hypos don't resolve) You should really reduce your basals by 0.2 h/hr and your bolus ratios to 1/20. And no, you're not having a second honeymoon.Nor are you turning into another Halle Berry.You're a type 1,and there's obviously a reason for this.

A:) Perfect, huh?Enjoy it while it lasts,because it won't. Please press "2" if you wish to share with the medical community your secrets for a persistantly euroglycemic state.We're all dying to know.

See,there's nothing to be an endo..very predictable.I know what they're going to say before they say it.I know what they should say&don't and vice versa.I hate diabetes,and like Chrissie I abhor ketones.Even when you're down(bg wise)you're not really "down."(ketones)But its ceased to be a concern,since your bg is now fine..

Where the Union Jack Meets Stars/Stripes/and Bars

Up at 4:30, Dulles airport by 6. Uneventful pass through airport security.
(nothing patted down,wanded,or set off) Oh my gosh,first class is POSH.
(I've never experienced that before,heck I've never even had anything
more then nuts or pretzels on 4+ hour flights!) Complimentary breakfast of omelet/mushroom,fruit bowl,sausage,yogurt that I can't half touch because we
just had fruit cups prior to getting on the plane. That,however, does not stop me
from making a valiant effort on breakfast #2. Just a 4 hour flight, but we're served a f/u snack 2 hours later.(nuts) Watch "Transformers"(in-flight movie) and the time goes by very quickly.
Get into Housten,hour layover. Waddle on over to the next flight,which is even more deluxe.These seats actually lay DOWN,the ultimate mark of convenience. Continental,first class.(you only live once..and what better time to do it,then on your honeymoon)
And,the 4 course meal...

Appetizer: Smoked peppered Atlantic Salmon roulade w/cream cheese and horseradish dressing

Salad-Field greens, romaine/Belgian endive,cherry tomatoes,goat cheese,pecans,buttermilk dressing + garlic bread

Main Course-Herbed breast of chicken,topped w/sliced beef,marinara sauce,melted mozzerella,grilled Roma tomato,sauteed baby spinach,Lyonnaise potatos

Dessert-Vanilla ice cream,toppings

Did very well with the bgs,as said meal was spread out over 3 hours. I didn't eat all of the main course though.

3 hours later,MORE food was served.(Panini chicken sandwich,complimentary chocolates, chocolate chip cookie)2 glasses of diet coke and I didn't eat anything else for the next 16 hours.(I was that stuffed,and jet lagged)

Touched down at destination, took shuttle to exclusive resort (by exclusive,I mean not open to the general public) where I also had to produce MY ID even though Glenn(hubby)was the one who booked everything because its DOD.They want to make double sure about everyone.(that's all I'll say on that subject)

Next up: Where we went:days 2-4.

The Princess&the Pancreas

You gotta read this

its hilarious!!!

Days of Our Lives(Chapter 2)

(more on this,when I get the 200+ photos duly copied,pasted,and transferred over to Flickr)You are also welcome to personally email me(er underscore watch at yahoo dot com) if you would like to see them all.I can't believe I'm actually putting a photo of myself on my blog..freaky.(both the concept and the actual picture)
(but I trust my readership is so few that it won't matter)

Happy Thanksgiving

H A P P Y


T
H
A
N
K
S


G I V I N G !

(more on, 10 zillion blog posts to catch up on plus 10 zillion other post honeymoon details later..regrets that I don't have the time to participate in OC memes for at least another 2 months! that turkey is me)

D-Blog Day

In rememberance of those we loved, and in dedication to the fine group of bloggers/s.o.'s that make our lives so much richer.(and less lonely) Tonight, sadness, joy,excitement,gratitude,raw nerves, and every other emotion under the sun run rampant in this brain o'mine.

Before you say "I do"

I'm having a problem, one that D kids in 1920 didn't have to worry about. The car in front of me is doing a circular jig + my brain is rapidly approaching shut down mode. I have to get off here, and I have to get off FAST.Before I pass out + crash.

Stuff Doritos into mouth, check Dex.

110-and trending down very rapidly.

I don't care what I actually am, I just eat. Pull off at exit, find nearest gas station, pull in + park. Appropriately enough, in front of the ice machines.(and across from the ice cream parlour)It's 32 degrees outside.

Drink juice. So cold, so dizzy. Dex has me at 80 now. Ah, my favorite gas station(Sheetz)- where else would I be getting low? Like Target, this place has
charms to soothe the savage hypoglycemic beast.

Lurch inside, buy more sugary drink. Go back to car, consume.

Dex shows me ???, I throw it into my bag in disgust.An hour later, I'm 311. And not shaking anymore, but still really dizzy. Recover from that, for the next hour. Bawl, feel sorry for self, hate diabetes.
Get back on Beltway. (the show must go on)

3 hours later, 376. Bolus 5 units.
1 hr later-180. Dropping like log, drink juice
2 hours later, 130.

3 AM- 260, high alarm wakes me up. Bolus 1.2 units

5 AM-62.(low alarm wakes me up) Yep, 1.2 units of insulin has dropped me 200 points.(if I'd have bolused like usual,I'd be dead) Eat.

7 AM-220

9 AM-300

10 AM-340

At this point, I figure infusion set is toast so I shoot 3 units and drop to 170 by 12 PM. Back on the Beltway, headed back home.

And things have been pretty good, without the pump on. Sure solves the prob of basal + bolus insulin colliding + dropping me like heck. Also had a low at lunch time yesterday, it was not a good day.

I obviously need some insulin though..but it needs a major overhaul! Just wish it wasn't now.

Got marriage lisence today, confirmed things with photographer. Rehearshal dinner tomarrow night,and Sat.morning it all comes together in the grand finale. Probably gonna check 10 zillion times that day..
(note to self: do NOT wipe finger on sleeve of dress, or suck it)
And oh, yeah. Happy birthday to these little dude(tte)
They are so much bigger..and even more cute!

Everything Old...

Something old:















Something new:















Something borrowed:















And something, er, obviously, blue...















Sensor went bad today.Started to hurt, and then I lost the signal entirely so I just pulled it out. Underneath, where I'd lathered it in Matisol and Tegaderm there were a bunch of red dots. Kind of like chicken pox, and not like a usual infusion set rash. Its pretty weird. I haven't used Matisol in awhile, maybe it goes bad!

All Quiet on the Eastern Front

This is officially the last week of my singlehood. I don't know how I feel about that yet..other then things seem to be traveling at warp speed + I'm getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I'd planned to write all these blog posts pre-jetting-off-into-honeymoon-bliss, but its not going to happen. And I'd planned to anylize all my thoughts about the Dexcom, but thats probably not going to happen either. Here are a couple thoughts, though.

#1 I keep getting all these ???'s. Sometimes it means I'm dropping like heck, other time there is no reason.

#2 My sensor itches. It hasn't quite turned cherry tomato red/raised bump yet, but it is definatly not comfortable. I am not going to pull it out though, it is too expensive to ditch after only 3 days. I'm going to have to experiment with Tegaderm underneath, which should be interesting(as I have only inserted one sensor, I don't even know what I'm doing yet)

#3 Lows..still happen. The differance is, you can see it when you come back up + don't have to continue stuffing your face based soley on your symptoms. And thats useful,because you don't have to end up in the 200-300's later. I am still figuring this out, + how to treat a low with a sensor vs. a meter. Yeah I know I should doublecheck on the meter,but I just don't feel like it.(it hasn't dropped THAT low, not like 40's or anything)

#4 Got my cobra paperwork, and I'm going to have to take care of that tomarrow. Expensive, yeah, but getting in sync with his insurance will be a whole new ball game. At least I know I will be covered for anything for the next month. (Shark attacks, insulin reactions, hurricanes)

Adios till next time.

Dateline Dex(11/02/07)

Dateline, 10 pm. Somewhere at large on the frozen Virginia Tundra....

A Dexcom 7 spits out another unremarkable, utterly smack dab normal blood sugar.


First day on the Dex:
79-158 mg/dl.3/4 of those numbers were in the 110-120 range. Man, this is GOOD.(it took awhile to calibrate it right with the Ultra,but now its like within 15 points)

Of course, I don't believe that I am 100, I can't believe it. Its all relative, and I was probably 20 points higher. The hour I spent in the 80's, though, sure felt like it was pushin' a hypo.(ice cream plus 2 hours temp rate eventually brought it up to the 100's again)

What I did today:
-pack
-pack
-discover 6 still usable vials of test strips
-discover 2 vials that expired last month(grrr)
-discover 2 vials of insulin that are still in date but need to be used up
-rescue my antique sliderule + one-day-antique insulin vials from the trashcan
(my mom is great to help, honestly, if you discovered insulin vials that expired in 2001 you'd probably chuck them too but it nearly gave me a coronary)
- eat
-bolus, and watch my blood sugars not change one iota
- watch my Dex some more...
-pack
-throw away 6 trashbags of junk
-give away 5 boxes of stuff I'll never use

Moving Day Tomarrow!!!!!!
(for the vast majority of my stuff)It's somewhat differant this time, joining two houses into one isn't like a single person accumalating more junk for life on their own.(its more purging, this time around)I have entirely too much stuff.

Joining the Ranks

I. am. officially. beyond. esctatic.
(and they're nuts if they think I will wait to get trained on this thing, I'm a pumper and it can't be much more difficult then that). I think I can figure this out
on my own.(and should I get stuck-with the help of others, who've posted about their own experiences)

Pre-Halloween Special

I had to follow this guy onto the interstate- talk about scary...(tractor trailers don't merge very easily!into 70 mph traffic)

Another Boring Sunday Afternoon(and the dissection of an OmniPod)

(size comparison)















(What's inside????????)




























The small batteries are 357-precisely the type used in the MM508. I don't know about the later models, but I still have my 508(for old times sake). I'll keep them, for that.(in case El Lambo hits the dust) Anyway, this was quite the informative experiment, the main section houses the pump "resevoir",(its saline,folks,never fear) some weird spring, and a metal needle that leads to the outer cannula.The clear piece is the bottom, the cloudy piece is the outer shell, and the computer chip makes it all that much more beyond my capabilities to understand it. The Omnipod is pretty cool, but I'm not sure I'd like to wear one on a regular basis(I'd all the time be losing the remote!) and it looks like a giant tumor... Wore one for a couple of days at FFL + it felt REALLY weird. I'm used to looking like a technogeek + maybe no else notices if you put it in the right spot but I'm used to my pump(you can put it anywhere) + the Omnipod, you definatly cannot.

A Season for Goodbye

Sure, I remember that day.

Starry eyed, young,nervous, greener then the freshly mowed grass just outside the entrance doors. Waiting there with the other new hire, who lasted about a week. Paperwork, signing my life away. Incredibly naive, it was my first "real" job. But not naive enough to tell anyone about the diabetes, it was 3 months before someone saw my medic alert and the secret leaked out(to various individuals).I wanted to prove myself first.

I remember getting my first health insurance plan,(Dec.) only to have it switched 1 month later. I remember immeadiently filing a request for an insulin pump, which took 2 months to approve. And that first medical leave, off in April(for an overnight admission + college final exams). I remember thinking that it was all worthwhile, no matter how little they paid me, I was getting a free pump!

I remember the dead of winter fire drills, shivering in the single digits till security made up their minds to let us all back in the building.

I remember the blackouts, with the power cut off + people shrieking "Lucy!"(our resident ghost)as the spooky eeriness took over the situation.

I remember funny coworkers + entire bizarre conversations, held only with 2 feet +contorted facial expressions.

I remember the layoff of '03, where the remaining employees(in that section of the building) played the
"where are we going next?" lottery + I just barely missed going to nightshift(seniority wise, 2 spots off)

I remember my one and only LOW.(under 10 mg/dl) I remember telling my coworker I was going to die, + she'd better tell my then boyfriend PRONTO because my blood sugar was very low. I remember asking him to give me the glucagon shot, and getting upset that he wouldn't. And I remember eating 120 carbohydrates + not passing out, but still being upset with the boyfriend because he WAS an EMT + knew how to do it.

I remember wanting to become an EMT, partially because whenever they got a page, they got to skip out on their regular jobs/jump on the giant red tricycle and zip all over the building, saving lives.

I remember September 11-listening to the radio, hearing the worry in people's voices. I remember my coworker, frantic with worry, trying to get ahold of her daughter(who had switched planes at the last minute). I remember the 7 people who died, all of whom were moms and wives and sisters and daughters + buyers for this company. (I didn't know them, but some of the supivisors did) I remember (Fri.)Sep.15, going to the memorial service, eating Chinese + getting the flu/skyrocketing blood sugars + having to leave work.

I remember the anthrax scare-looking at any white powder that came in on a box with a supiscous eye. Actually sent some off for testing, but it came back negative.

I remember the first day in my new department, where I had to learn 14 people's names all over again.

I remember the bomb scare, the day the entire plant cleared out in 10 minutes flat. 900 employees. I remember police + sniffer dogs going through the facility that weekend, and a cop car parked out front for several weeks after that. Didn't find anything.

I remember 1,000 lows where no one ever knew, and 3 that they did.

I remember people who came and went, and wishing I could leave. I remember free coffee (vending machine) days and the annual passing out of Thanksgiving Turkeys(all ordered at discount from the poultry plant down the road).

I remember supivisors that knew about the D, and ones that didn't. Unfortuantly, that had to do with whether or not I had a bad low on their beat.

I remember "surfing" the mechanical moveable line(via a box) and getting yelled at by my supivisor). It was still a blast, though.

I remember the little ideosycracies of every piece of equipment, every department. I have worked them all.

Most of all- I remember you guys, the finest group of people in the plant.We've laughed, cried,
and put up with each other for the past 4.5 years.
I'll miss you.(and many thanks for the party,pizza,cake + presents!)

Things change...

And we must go on.
(7 years,1 month, and 22 days later)

Pick the next Ultra Mini Color(+ ipod contest)

Here:

I love the orange.(but it doesn't look like it has much chance of winning!) Plus, you can register for a chance to win 1 of 10,000 ultraminis(not so amazing, I have 5 of them compliments of CWD FFL2007) and an ipod nano(preloaded with diabetes podcasts)
Sweet...

Weekend Plans

So tomarrow, I intend to do a little R&R up in the great vast urban sprawl that is Northern Virginia. R&R is, of course, shopping. Serious shopping. I have to pick out my getaway outfit,new jeans,several types of dress shoes.And appropriate work clothes. Because I look like a bum from West Virginia most of the time. I work at a place where its perfectly fine to look like this, because 98% of the people working there also look like that but in civilized, polite, professional society I'd be kicked out the first day on the job. Along the way,I've also got to check out some deals at Walgreens,Target,and ToysRus(which are either not around here or not carrying said deal). And,one of my favorite stores,Gabriels.(really cheap clothing) Then, I've got a gift certificate for a restaurunt(where I'll eat lunch) and a ticket to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert that evening. (Won from a radio station) After that, I'll stay overnight at my aunt's + she'll try out potential "hairstyles" for the big day. My aunt, like my mom and myself, is blessed(er,or cursed) with extremily curly poofy hair that's extremily challenging to manage. Most people think curly hair is great, well they haven't seen this type. It is beyond extreme, and I hate it passionatly(have to put tons of straightening goop on it just to make it managable).
I prefer to do all such shopping alone, because when I'm with other people I can't focus enough to get it all done in a very short period of time. I would be a complete bore. My mom thinks that driving up there alone is a very bad idea(she may be right about that) but millions of women do it every day + if you use common sense, you don't have to worry about being murdered on the Beltway. I'm much more worried about my blood sugars, then I am about being attacked.

Another Twisted Billy Joel song(D-style)

Only the Good Die Young

Come out, Virginia, don't let it wait
Diabetic chicks start way too late
Sooner or later, you know its just fate
Whether you'll be the one.

Well they gave you a meter, told you to test
Brand new pump, baby, only the best
But they never told you, about all the rest
The things that you might have done...
Only the good die young-thats what I said, only the good die young.
(only the good die young)

You might have heard I run with a complication doomed crowd
Our black leather jackets to double as a shroud
We might have not with common sense been endowed
But that never hurt no one.(else, that is)

So, c'mon, Virginia, give me a kiss
Double diabetes makes some pretty sweet bliss
And that sweet naivite, that no one could miss
Never cracks in the sun.
Darn it, only the good die young.
(Whoa,whoa,whoa, whoa)
Only the good die young.

You got a great a1c and a party on your D(anniversery)
You got a brand new Medic Alert(plus a cool Running on Insulin t-shirt)
But Virginia, they didn't give you quite enough information
You've never had a HI
After eating the entire pie...
Oh,oh,oh,oh

They say there's a cure, for those who are good
Stay healthy till then, do all that you should
If I could do that, you know that I would
But better D's then me have thought that they could...
You know that only the good die young, only the good die young.

You say that all I ever gave you was a reputation
Your endo doesn't care for me
Cuz I'm playing havoc with your fine bg
Oh,oh,oh, oh.

So, come out, Virginia, don't lemme wait
This is one party that can't be late
Two diabetics, make a very fine date
And maybe, just maybe we won't die young.

Sometimes I definatly feel like a wild child- I have made unwise decisions just because I didn't want to fit into the "good diabetic" mold. I've eaten those metophysical pies, and had more then my share of real life HI's to boot.

In Praise of the Lowely Sardine

I confess, when I read that sardines, may be one of the world's healthiest foods
it was like being told that chocolate is actually good for you.(complete shock-yeah,I knew fish is healthy but I didn't think it was that healthy) My exposure to sardines begun at a young and tender age, and like most, I disdained that particular food. But as my dad's signature dish (sardines,rice,soy sauce,frequently veggies/broccoli) quite often graced the dinner table the hatred of it dulled + eventually, I came to like it. I now eat it about twice a week.
Good news for me, good news for the D. This meat has practically every element one could wish for,and its especially benificial if your family has a history of heart disease.

The Torture Chamber

SCRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHH
SCRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCTTT
TTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH

(think fingernails + chalkboard)

Countdown 6 minutes.

tap,tap, tap

BRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaa
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHaaaaaaaa
rrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

tap,tap, tap

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrRRRRRRRRRRRBrr
EEEEEEWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

tap, tap, tap

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRr

tap, tap, tap

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
zzzzzzRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

tap, tap, tap

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

(traveling though head,centuring in left ear)

sRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
(repeat)

sRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
(repeat)



RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrsss
(switch to right ear vibrating + dying off in left ear)

Tap, Tap.

z---EEE-z-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-zzzzzz-EEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe
z----EEEEEEEEEEEEE-z-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

da bump, da bump, da BUMP, da BUMP, da BUMP, da BUMP, da BUMP, da BUMP,da BUMP
(repeat for 3 minutes)

"Ya ok in there??"

"Peachy."

Chain saw starts up....

Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap.

ET phone home, are there any neurons left?

"Try NOT to squirm, or I'm gonna have to do this all over again."

I try. Cross fingers, toes,bite lip, try to think about something other then the time bomb that is my body.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz


Bo bomp, bo bomp, bo bomp, bo bomp, bo bomp, bo bomp BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP, BO BOMP.

Horridest music on the planet, I gotta say.

"We're done."

Really? Because I was just getting ready to spill my
guts about everything I ever did(wrong)..

"You ok?"

I feel for my head, I'm not convinced that numb thing on my shoulders is that, anymore.45 minutes of the unquiet-est(stay Stone Age, everyone)disturbing sounds on earth.(no music or even a call button for the freak-out crowd)
Ah, the marvels of modern medicine.

October Showers-Part 1

I've duly arrived at the scene of the impending party, checked my blood sugar(96) and had lunch at a nearbye Taco Bell. And I've given myself a virtual pat-on-the-back for getting myself there, on time(actually 45 minutes to spare). Time to swap out my pump cartridge.

Reach over to back seat, move duffel. Gotta be here somewhere.

Nope...

Ok, maybe its on the floor.

Nothing.

Under the pile of fastfood wrappers on the passenger's side floormat?

Nope.

In the car truck???

Nada.

I panic, I've just managed to leave my entire medical kit AT HOME(a good 4 hours drive away). This wouldn't be so bad but for the fact that only 4.4 units of insulin remain in my resevoir and I've no vials of insulin on me.(none of the other meds are a matter of life and death) A quick rummage of my pocketbook yields 2 syringes. And I'm about to go to a dessert shower-for heaven's sake. Fortuantly, my meter kit is in my pocketbook + I have plenty of strips.
I consider the options:

A. Find a pharmacy, make panicked call to endo's office.

B. Ignore the situation, enjoy the shower, and go into DKA 4 hours later.

C. Drive home- and don't come back!

Go with option #1. The first pharmacy I see is CVS- which, amazingly, HAS my RX on file.(it's a chain store) Disaster averted, but I'll still have to take a shot every 3 hours.
Back to dessert shower, fiance meets me, we go in and enjoy the party.(despite my shot nerves) I do not eat much, and what I do eat is sugar-free. I do not feel like being the diabetic CDE today. We get several nice gifts from Bed, Bath & Beyond which will come in handy. It was hosted by his coworkers.
Back to CVS, pick up insulin. Shoot 5 units.
Back to his house. Check blood sugar-134, quite reasonable to take a 5 minute walk with. (5 minute walk to grocery store) Walk to grocery store, wander around getting stuff and I realize, I'm low.10 freakin' minutes after testing 134. Eat 6 tabs. Walk back, drink lots of OJ. Drive to another party, check(284), take another shot, overeat, test 397.
Take another shot.
12 AM, take shot
3AM, take shot
6 AM, take shot
9 AM, take shot
It's impossible to get any sleep when you're taking shots every 3 hours, but eventually my bg came down to mid 100's. It was pretty easy keeping it in the 100's-up until 5 pm, when it went back up to mid 200's. We were walking around Baltimore's Inner Harbor having an awesome time, but my blood sugar just kept going up.(300, 384)
Massive shots, it went down to 245 by the time we returned. Took another shot, and woke up 467 at 5 AM.
My worst symptom (when I'm very high) is this peculiar, hurting, thumping heartbeat.
I absolutely hate it, and I absolutely hate waking up to it.(more then anything else)
It usually signifies ketones & impending DKA.
Take another hefty shot...
8:45 AM- 200. MUCH better.
It's good to be back home, my blood sugars were a disaster this weekend.

Diagnosis: Cyberborg

Link:

This is me to a T, I hear beeps, alarms, etc. 24 hours a day. I have thought my pump was on when it wasn't.(and vice versa)My life is ruled by technology. (its not just my pump..but my pump IS part of me)

Apparently, I am not alone.(crazy techies of the world, unite!)

The Needle and the Damage Done

Today I got my flu shot. Needles do not scare me(except perhaps jugular ones!), be it a hulking 14 gauge large-bore IV or a butterfly. I've had too many, and the repeated exposure to the entire gamut makes one hard, calloused, like a soldier going into battle. You come to expect just how much it will hurt.


Later on, as I stood in line at the pharmacy, requesting my 100 ct. box of 3/10, 29 gauge syringes, I was struck at how easy it was for anyone to get ahold of them.

"And what will you be using these for?" the cashier inquired.

I'm tempted to say "Drugs", but I'm not that stupid.(Regardless of the fact that yes,
they'll be used for a legal drug) I can just envision her shocked look + hasty speed dial to the local drug-busting unit.

"Insulin," I say, like every other Joe Blow that walks in there. I will use them to shoot down highs, rather then spend hours in ketosis waiting on the infusion set.(which has likely gone to pot)

"Sign the book,please."

Name, age, address, medication. It will be tracked, monitered for signs of suspicious activity.(excessive buying) But if someone wanted to buy alot of syringes,all they'd have to do is drugstore hop. Making them all prescription, is that the answer? It just makes it harder for people who can't afford a doc/don't have insurance(syringes + some insulins are over the counter), which is a horrid situation but one that many people are in. It also makes it inconvenient for people like me, who buy syringes OTC because it is cheaper then the copay for the things. Drug abusers abound, alas, + I've heard heroin + insulin sometimes ends up in the same syringe(that's partially why you can't even give your own injections in jail).

Sometimes the needle does as much harm as good.

The Endo Exchange

Endo #1:
So, I've got this patient...

Endo #2:
Yeah- and you can keep them.Good gosh, I've got enough of THOSE types in my own practice.

Endo #1:
Just listen to me for a minute. She's moving to your neighborhood-and might be investigating you(based on my recommendation). Back when you were my resident,you may have run into her.

Endo #2:
I doubt it, the name doesn't look familiar.

Endo #1
Just wanted to give you a heads up. And she isn't that bad, she's just somewhat of a trainwreck who will probably never have an a1c under 7 + die of every complication in the book- but those types need just as much support, maybe more. And I think you could handle her.

Endo #2
Thanks,I'm flattered by the moral support.

Endo #1
Anytime after Nov.10, be on the lookout.

Yesterday's appointment(unlike some previous) was actually productive, I felt like it was worth the $20 copay. My endo recommended someone she knows in that part of the world,(that I'm moving to) and even said she'd talk to her(put in a good word) if she could accept a new patient. As Endo #2 will be in town this weekend, the above verbal exchange is entirely possible. They took alot of blood(as I've been avoiding the place since May),
and I gave her more updated forms for the CGS/Insurance coverage battle. I could have just faxed them, but stuff gets misplaced very easily there + even when it goes to the right place, it takes a good 7+ days for the endo to even look at it. I felt like I needed to reinspire her(and myself) to the cause.

And my blood sugars have been uncharacteristically flat line-several days of 120-140 range, so my endo really didn't even have much to say in terms of insulin adjustments. I usually have a post breakfast spike(low 200's), followed by a severe drop(4 hours of no insulin and still having to eat) so she recommended square waving my meal to avoid that. But the past few days have been amazing, everything I do, works. I eat/bolus, and two hours later I've got a gorgeous blood sugar that stays gorgeous till the next meal.I hardly move 15 points in either direction. Overnight, I'm steady as a rock.(or drop slightly) It's kind of nice. I'm used to things always moving, requiring frequent input + this is pretty bizarre. Maybe my a1c will come back lower too.(helped by the research study's blood letting)

Winter Rush

These are just too cute- I wish they sold such items around here.(instead, they ship them to California, Maine,Florida) They're socks-in case you were wondering. When I go to our stores around here, I rarely find anything that I can't get at Walmart/Target for half the price. Even with my employee discount. But anyway, these made my day just a bit less monotonous!:) We're processing all the Christmas/winter merchandise now,and that sure beats pots,pans, and other cookware.(boring)

Celebrating

Life is good, life is GREAT. 2 months,8 days and too much money later, my computer runs again. Having it fixed, however,was cheaper then buying another computer. I've really missed Ebay sniping,
chats on TuDiabetes(and elsewhere), and knowing what's going on in general.(news,etc.) I've missed it all-it is so good to be connected again.(going to the library 2x a week just doesn't cut it). I don't know if I'll be posting more often, this month and next will the busyiest ever.(40 days till I tie the knot)

I'll take a virtual one of these:

and invite you to do the same!

The Great Gym Motivator

Oh yeah, I'll be there. Probably doing little more then just sitting on the bicycle but that's at least better then sitting on the couch,scarfing potato chips + getting fatter by the minute,right? I do expect to burn a few calories..
(no cable here-so that's where I gotta go to watch the premiere!!!!)