Thursday, February 28, 2008

Project: Pumpway

Welcome, designers. I'm Heidi- and regretfully, my last name does not start with a "K." I have no fashion sense whatsoever and haven't picked up a (sewing)needle since the 10th grade.Coincidentally,the only time in my life I could have really given the modeling career a run for its money.(all 90 lbs of me, insulin therapy immeadiently packed on 40)
Regardless, the daily challenges of wearing a 4x2 piece of hardware(or several pieces of hardware) tax even the most fashion forward of us. We need help.
(myself included)

Your Challenge:
Look, study, and tell me which of the following disasters are the absolute worst.

The "Why can't my pump fit into the blasted coin pouch" look:

Da "sock, up the leg" scenario:

Not just for looks:
(the pouch)

Tourniquet on the lower extremities:

EMT girl:
(complete with accessories)

Gothic Girl:
(Stop worrying,I'm not goth.It's just fun to mess with people's minds sometimes + have them totally ignore me.)

One last request before I Auf Wiedersehen. Email Bravo and tell them this would make an excellent upcoming episode.(an outfit that compliments,hides a pump)Thousands of pump-wearing D's would immeadiently become loyal viewers.

Danke, meine Freunde.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


It's just after midnight...and I'm having premonitions that this is not going to be a good week. Awesome weather today, until it clouded up + commenced to dumping rain. So goes the goes the week. Similarly, the retail(Presidential Day savings, spending) therapy was going well till my stomach started pitching fits + I had to drive back home. Drowned my sorrows in some zofran, and the gastro docs office didn't call me back. Then my groin went numb.(yeah, you probably didn't want to read that)and a panicky call to the on-call dr looks like tomorrow is going to have some more
tests in it.(bad time for the back to act up,I can't even handle the other issue)
Was hoping to go down to Virginia for a few days but I don't think thats going to be possible. I can't eat,sleep, or be nice to any of my family members.(not a good time to go visiting) My brother won't make it back till sometime next month, he's doing whatever they do to you post Iraq.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

P.S. I Love You

First there was this...
(highs in general..this is an old pic):

followed by a zillion and half boluses and shots of this:

I was the insulin-o-holic, must have taken twice my normal tdd.
Then, came these:

Vain attempts at this:

Pain, vomitting, all that stuff. Finally the blood sugars go down only I have the opposite problem and keeping bgs up is more then impossible. The dr, of course, can't see me to the next week so I go to the ER, get reassurance that it isn't something thats going to kill me in the next 12 hours, get drugged and things improve for the next day. Comes back with a vengeance the following day and those two weekend days are impossibly long. Gatoraide is all I can handle. Monday morning,I have starvation ketones + my dr panics and sends me to the ER again where I look like a grand royal idiot(bgs are normal, not in keto) but I get re hydrated again and some better drugs so it wasn't a total waste.

Post V-Day:

Some incredibly romantic pictures of my esophagus. Husband is out of town on a business trip(incredibly poor timing, on the part of said employer) but it was unavoidable.(Six..more..days...till..he..returns..ugh)A friend drove me there/back.(for the endoscopy) I have had one before, so I knew what to expect. Didn't wear the dexcom, and bgs went from 153 to 123. (pretty good in my book) Of course, they didn't know anything about the pump and the basal rate keeping things normal so I just ignored their helpful advice about cutting the insulin in half. Not applicable to me. I wake up, the gastro doctor comes in and delivers me the report. Esophogitis. Hiatal Hernia. Strangely enough, its relieving to hear, at least there are no ulcers. From the state of my innards, I would have sworn to the entire tract being that way. So they did a biopsy but I well suspect its from the fact that I always take ibuprofen for every ache/pain, not Tylenol because I don't want to cook my liver. Iboprofen days came to an abrupt end when this all started. Stopped one med, increased another + will wait for things to improve or biopsy results before the follow-up appointment. If things don't improve, they'll do a barium test. Although they have already, keeping everything down now.Definably a plus in my book. I just wish that diabetes wasn't such a issue with everything, even when one thing isn't that bad the diabetes will screw you up if it gets half a chance. Ah well,life goes on, and you gotta roll with the punches.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Top Ten Signs That You're Entirely Too Young to Have Diabetes

1. The pharmacy clerk laughs at you when you try to buy syringes. "You might hurt yourself, sweetie, these aren't for playing with and you WILL grow up someday. No need to take those nasty growth hormones."

2. The pharmacy clerk demands to see 2 forms of identification, a current photo id, and your mother before she'll sell you any lancets.

3. You're the only one in the Endocrine waiting room without gray hair. (Maybe with any hair at all..)

4. You don't know how to spell "Diabetiphobia", nor have any inclination what it might mean.

5. "Blind Man's Bluff" was just a game to you...not real life.

6. Jelly Beans are entirely reserved for hypos, not normal kid treats.

7. The initials "J.D." behind your name do not stand for Judiciary Doctor, they stand for Juvenile Diabetic.

8. When your pump alarms in the middle of the night, it must be time for another round of you know what.."Honey,wake up! My thing just went off!" (Although,in all honesty, if your looking for a good vibrator the Dexcom is tops. Shakes the whole house.)

9. Be the only normal weight person(school or work) on a "diet"...

10. You hate getting drunk, it resembles a serious hypo too much.(and, it often leads to serious hypos)Therefore, you're the most sober 26 year old on the block.
Total limit: 2 drinks.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Match Day

In medical schools all across the the United States,March (20) is a red letter day.Thousands of 4th year medical students will meet their destiny, as they open up their little white envelope assigning them to their residency program at University X. Shrieks of joy/despair will echo through the hallways...

I kinda know what that feels like,now.

Tuesday is gonna be quite, wild. I am not pleased about where they put me,I'd far rather be in MY county.(10 minutes away, vs hours)

Friday, February 08, 2008

Emails from Iraq

Initially, my brother thought he wasn't coming home till late Feb.-March..but plans changed and he's scheduled to come home next week.. hoping he avoids any sort of disaster in the last couple of days before flying out..

Yay! it will be one huge relief to see him again, so many troops never come home.

Semper Fi!

Monday, February 04, 2008

Back in the Game

"Finger, please."

Swab, poke. First one for the meter, second one for the DCA 2000 Analyzer sitting atop the counter.


"I am not 376, I just ate lunch and tested 15 min.ago(an hour post lunch) and I'm 250. That's why,I'm on a post meal high. Your machine is screwy."

"Well, ok. You can tell the doctor that."

Shuffle, shuffle through the venerable hallowed Joslin halls. So famous, so much history with that place. And today, it seems to be very empty, not many patients lurkin' round.


Endo comes in.

"We meet at last! it's been a long time since she(ex-endo) said you were coming."

"Yeah...part moving, part lazyness, part difficulty getting a slot on your calender."

Picks up phone. "Hello, I'd like X's a1c, please."

I start hyperventilating. This is not cool, being accosted by your a1c first thing, I've never had a finger stick a1c before. This is too sudden, this doesn't have that comfortable little 2 week "bump" while you wait for the mail. I'm not ready for this.

If its higher,I think I'm going to demand a venous draw.


Exhallllle. Well, its down.

"A slight improvement there, your last one was 8.7. But you know you can't get pregnant till your under 7."

No worries there, if I had an a1c of 7, such permission would not tempt me. I need at least 10 years to mentally prepare for the very concept of such a life altering event. Suffice to say, I think I will be hearing this till 2040 anyway.It's ok though, she's just doing her job.

We rehash my bgs..Joslin has some awesome logs. You can record everything there.
It just takes forever. I get the needed prescriptions at the end.

So small steps..and an a1c drop of 0.2 really feels like announcing that you've just lost 2 lbs(my husband stared at me blankly when I announced that, wasn't impressed) but it upped my spirits so I don't care what the rest of the world thinks. I'm gonna get there. And if its 0.1 at a time that's still progress.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Green Glucose Tabs and Ham

I wish to dedicate this poem to the below blood glucose number, without which I would be just another uninspired
writer. I really enjoyed Amy's Dr.Seuss poem(Diabetes Mine), but it almost feels like someone has already written a diabetes poem about this.(if there is, I will delete this immeadiently and stop the infringing on their masterpiece)

I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am.

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green glucose tablets and fat-free-ham?

I do not like them,
I do not like
green glucose tablets and fake ham.

Would you like lows
here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them

Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.

I could have one in a car
An ambulance, is never far.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in wild cherry!

I would not, could not, in that taste
Produces such a nasty paste.

Would you, could you, on a plane?
Would you, could you, in the rain?

I could have one in the rain
Liquify my half mushed brain
I could have one on a plane
Pretzel carbs, alas, in vain.

Would you, could you, in a store?
Would you, could you, out the door?

I could have one out the door
Grab two tabs, and search for more
I could have one in a store
Earthquakes radiate my core.

Would you, could you, at the docs?
Would you, could you, as a jock?

I could have one at the doc's
Guzzle juice, to stop the shocks
I could never be a jock
Fastest one against the clock.

Would you, could you, in a chair
While the dentist pokes in there?
Whould you, could you, on a date
Sweetness just a tad too late?

I could have one in the chair
(Novocaine makes that quite rare)
I could have one on a date
Petrify potential mates.

I do not like them, Sam I am
I do not like those hypo jams!

Would you, could you, after lunch?
Would you, could you, in a crunch?

I could have one after lunch
Yell at folks and take a punch
I could have one in a crunch
Diabetes, thanks a bunch!

In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I could have one in the dark
Hand feeds mouth(the hungry shark)

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

I have tried them, Sam.

I have tried them in the car
I have tried them on a plane
I have tried them in the rain
I have tried them out the door
I have tried them in a store
I have tried them at the docs
I have tried them in my futile attempts at being a jock.
I have tried them in the chair
I have tried them on a date
I have tried them after lunch
I have tried them in a crunch
I have tried them in the dark
I have tried them here and there
I have tried them everywhere.

I do not like those hypo jams
I do not like them, Sam I Am!

I will try the tabs and ham
Maybe you got a bad bunch from CamAm...

Say! You are right
This combo, it is way too light.
We will get the real stuff then,
Repeat the whole darn book again.