Sunday, December 31, 2006

Parting Thoughts of '06

Pull the cord...

And out pops Lambo JR! (Just how he ended up under the couch, I'm not quite sure)Little bugger.

Remembering the old year...

And welcoming a new one.

Wishes that might happen:
1. An a1c under 7
2. A degree(only got a couple more classes to finish it up)
3. A Dexcom, or Guardian RT
4. Another place of residence
5. An early spring(I'm not fond of this wet, rainy,miserable, winter)

Wishes that won't happen:
6. Winning the lottery
7. That a tall, dark, handsome man would wisk me off to a castle in the Alps where I'd live happily ever after.
8. That this will be the year I learn to play piano
9. That I'll get organized.
10. A CURE

Happy New Year, everyone.

Friday, December 29, 2006

Wanted- One Runaway Insulin Pump

Description of Missing Entity

Aquamarine colored. Likes long tubing, frequently roams refridgeraters at midnight.
Answers to "Lambo JR."(it's a long story how said pump got name-involving a 3 AM alarm,Lycra,and a negative radio wave from the Land Down Under)
Prefers a full resevoir. Frequently gets knots in tubing, for no reason whatsoever.
Difficult to live with, but impossible to live without.

Last Seen: Sometime Friday morning, before owner decided to disconnect + clean the house.

Last seen wearing: Black clip-on case.

Reward: The satisfaction you'll get of helping a Type 1 PWD regain her sanity.

Additional Bonus:
Anyone who would like to come over and help clean house/search for pump will also get a generous supply of Sugar-Free Christmas Candy.(I have tons of it, as usual)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Promise

He stood nearby, a tall,imposing, white-clad figure of a man. He'd just finished delivering the 411 on diabetes, and his patient lay silently, her eyes glazed over with this overload of information.
Time to soften the blow.
"Questions?" he smiled broadly, inviting her to ask something, ask anything. Because he'd definatly know the answer, he'd been doing this for the past 21 years. Answering the kids' questions. Answering their parents' questions. The common ones, the not-so-common-ones, the ones that made him think. Diabetes is a very question-filled disease.
Too many questions, as of yet unknown. Which to ask first, is the real question.
"Can a diabetic give blood?"
It pops out, this new fear of having somehow "tainted" blood. Not being normal. Not being useful.Memories of a father giving blood, and now wondering if she'd ever do the same.She'd
never given blood, but being diagnosed with diabetes suddenly brought up the desire.
"Actually, they used to not be able to,but the Red Cross revised its guidelines a couple of years ago and yes, you should be able to. You've never taken animal insulin."
Yeah, baby.Something D's can "do." Life isn't over. Giving blood is not an option just then, but it's a thought for the future.
- - -
August,2000. First blood donation.
- - -
It used to be that the Red Cross phlebotomists would go into major spasmodic conniptions + pull out their Medical Guidelines books whenever I mentioned I was an insulin dependent D. Questions about bovine insulin, whether I'd had a change of insulin therapy during the past 2 weeks, whether I was in "good" control, etc. would invariably follow.Concerns over whether the pump might induce weird bacteria into my bloodstream.(very stupid concerns) It was like an act of Congress, getting through the entire process. Now, things are much better(I don't even have to declare the D-just check off a bunch of boxes).
Haven't given in awhile, since July + the crud. But I gave today, #31.And it felt good. Someone out there, will benefit from me-the drain-on-society diabetic. There are normal people who can't say the same. And if I can give, I will continue to do so.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Post Yuletide Greetings

May I do a bit of unprecedented, out-and-out, no holds barred, Extremius Maximus bragging here?
(to heck with it- I'm doing it anyway)

The first number to grace my meter (7 AM) Christmas morning was a lovely 124. I didn't deserve it, and I'm sure I have no clue just WHY it decided to drop 60 points overnight, but I wasn't complaining.
Breakfast was an onslaught of King Cake(sans icing, my SIL forgot to make it),Eggnog,smoked wienies, potato-sausage bake,and fruit salad. So awesome good(and stuffing) I had my doubts that I'd ever be able to eat again, much less another major meal later in the day.
12 PM rolled around, and I pulled out the test kit for a check on just how brutal the damage had been. I was pleasantly surprised when the meter read 178-I thought I'd at least be 150+ points above that.
By 2 PM, dinner was ready and I'm down to 108(feeling low,even though I'm not).Hungry once more, and ready to do battle with the succulunt sweet potatos(dripping in sweet sauce),garlic-y mashed potatos, ham + gravy, homemade rolls,
green bean casserole, appetizer platter...Forget the pie, I was stuffed. Bolus for that too.
6 PM- 188.I'm utterly amazed by the fact that I'm not 200's,300's,or worse-everything is actually working. Rarely do my SWAGS work out so well. Indulge in pecan pie/whipped topping and a follow-up ham sandwich.(ok,that's it,I'm really stuffed now)
11 PM- 170.
Does it get any better? (True,they aren't exactly ADA approved blood sugars but I'm thrilled,I had no clue how many carbs were in the vast majority of those things.I was just bolusing blindly.)Diabetes wise-Christmas ROCKED, and otherwise it did too-all my family got in,even my Marine brother + my sister from New Mexico. Occasionally,diabetes isn't the predictibly annoying, unstable,crud- things just fall right into line + you really think you're dreaming...
6 AM- 178.
12 PM- 188.
3 PM- 183
4 PM- Resorted back to the good o'le 200's. Nice while it lasted.

Work has shut down till Jan.4, so they can get stuff straight to work on inventory when we all come back. I know I've been an uncooperative party RE the insane amounts of overtime they've recently put us through, but now that I'm looking at 1.5 weeks of unpayed indolence,I'm bored already. True,this is a chance to get the house in tip-top shape + get caught up on everything else, but I guess its the social interaction that I really miss. Even being throughly and roundly cussed out by one's coworker(like I was last Thursday) is a thrill,of sorts. (at least you know you've made an definate impact in their life)
Come on,folks-get back from Christmas Vacation, I want to comment on some blogs..gotta do something with all this spare time.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Congradulations! Your Brain Age is... 284

I may not be the quickest around, but I can generally solve moderately hard mathematic problems in my head + try not to use the calculator, mental calculations keep the brain sharp. My coworkers regard me as a glutton for punishment in this regard, but my rate of mistakes is the same as theirs(using this method).

Several years ago, I was in a research study that was all about the brain’s function(on high and low blood sugars). Part of it involved using a driving simulator, but most of it involved 10 million arithmetic problems, color coordination, connect-the-dots, Suduku, and whatever else you can think of. It was during this time that I discovered that I absolutely cannot subtract (in increments of 9) backwards, when hypo. Adding, yeah, kinda, but not subtracting. Deeply intriguing. It was a pretty weird study to begin with, what with brain leads all over my scalp but what that might mean (whether certain parts of my brain activity shut down during a hypo) the researchers didn’t share with me. All I learned is, my sensitivity to insulin.(which promptly changed,2 weeks later..)

Yesterday, I got a new game for my Nintendo DS- Brain Age. Supposedly supposed to keep your brain young and sharp. Went through the first exercise, and this is what I got:

I’m in serious trouble, if this is really the mental acuity of my brain. 20 years from now= nursing home..
Aughhhhhhhh.(am I that hopeless?)The Brain Age "goal" is 20.
Sometimes when high, I get brain fog but that's generally when I'm really,really high.(like over 500) I think diabetes must be pickling my brain- on both hypos AND hypers, it certainly affects things.

Friday, December 22, 2006

My Top Five Christmas Songs

1. Feliz Navidad- The David Crowder Band
2. Snoopy's Christmas- The Royal Guardsmen
3. This Baby- Steven Curtis Chapman
4. Christmas at Ground Zero- "Wierd Al" Yankovitch
5. Still her Little Child

I have many more faves..but these top the list.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

No more Beta

Blogger "Beta" is apparently all out. That's a good thing- but I kind of miss being bugged incessently to switch. Oh well,I'm sure they'll dream up some other "new" thing to switch to.

Group question-(I realize there's some way to figure this out, but I'm dumb)
How many carbs(ie,grams of dextrose) are in an IV bag of D50? I can't find an answer anywhere(not even on CWD's Ask the Diabetes Team) and its been bugging me-it's one of those things one should know. Hospitals frequently administer D50, and if you had to bolus for it you'd need to know that.Or are there "ampules" of dextrose that they add to the IV that makes it D50? I've also been experiencing a run of lows lately, which always makes me a tad nervous. Runs being defined as low after low after low after low. My liver needs some serious glycogen restocking.Should get started on the traditional chocolate covered cherries early this year..Work's been rough,I'm glad tomarrow is the last day.

Monday, December 18, 2006

When 1+1(doesn't) = 2


It's in the type/amount/quantity of food, exercise(or lack thereof), concurrent medications, stress, caffeine, other illnesses, hormones, age of the insulin, absorption of the infusion set, temperature outside, body temperature,alcohol consumption, and a thousand other little factors. Sometimes, there appears to be no earthly reason for it.

You can graph carbs.
You can graph boluses/basals.
You can graph exercise.

But how can you graph a morning in which you consume 3 caffeine-laden beverages,(exact caffeine amount "unknown") run around like nuts, clock in a 205 at lunch(stress or caffeine?) bolus for that plus lunch, promptly get low 1.5 hours later and again 3.5 hours later, go high and the infusion set promptly falls out..
I'd give up, but that's apparently not allowed. Neither is sledge-hammering one's meter or shaving one's head/joining the Peace Corps.

It's still tempting, though.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Apple Pie High

Take a good whiff.

One sniff, and I was stoked. Nothing like a Home Interiors Apple Pie candle to bring you back to what it's all about. (Best of all-this Apple Pie doesn't do a number on your blood sugar control.) Doubly so, when I found out we didn't have to work
Saturday.(this was on Friday)
Monday, however, is going to be a tad nuts. (coming in an hour earlier- and they'll be combining two departments into one(OURS). The prime objective, is to blow all the orders completely out by the end of Thursday, for a nice, long, holiday weekend. And since someone's on vacation, their job falls in my lap(and I'll have 18 people to overlook, versus 8. It's going to be a headache.)
Had a coupon for a $25 gift card, with a transferred RX from another pharmacy. Most of the stores around here honor competetitor's coupons, so the fact that the coupon was from an entirely differant pharmacy didn't matter. So- I take it in to my local, friendly, WallyWorld, where I wait 1.5 hours where they simultaniously manage to get A. My address B. My last name and C. My insurance info all wrong, and I've had things filled there before. Recently, in fact.
Then, the Customer Service Manager(CSM) gets paged back to take a look at my coupon,and after some weighty deliberations she tells me "Sorry,can't do it-we have a policy of nothing free with coupons."
I point out that Other-Side-of-Town Wallyworld apparently doesn't have the same policy, because they once did the same thing over there, no problems.
She repeats "Sorry,can't do it."
Ok. I need the RX anyway, so I pay for it.The pharmacy tech hands me my insulin + sends me to the middle window to "talk to the pharmacist."
Pharmacist: This is in-sul-in. Do you have any questions about it?
Me: No. I certainly know what insulin is by now. Thank you.
Slightly odd that the pharmacist would think I have questions about a transferred insulin prescription, that I've obviously been taking for quite some time.
I'd have to say that particular medication would be the last thing I'd have a question about.
I'm definatly going to transfer the RX back-I got much better service with the other pharmacy.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Wednesday at the Woodgrill

For some reason, I can't post replies on some people's blogs..kind of frustrating. Blogger won't let me sign in.

The Scene: Main Street.

The Setting: Grand Opening of the latest "Woodgrill." 1/2 price off, including the complimentary drink + baked potato. I'm standing in line, with the rest of the local yokels to get in on this deal.There's a nip in the air, and its getting darker,as the daytime 50's gradually drops on down to the 20's. Man, I wish I'd worn my coat.
Jam up ipod volume, wave arms around, stamp feet. Reach door.
"DKA" cuts through the static + I reach for the pause button. What was that? Who in the heck says DKA, unless they're also a real live type 1 PWD..

The tall, lanky,sandyhaired stranger to my left smiles at the middle-aged women behind me. "Nah, I haven't been in a hospital in 23 years, not since I was diagnosed."
"Lucky." The women nods. "Not a good situation to be in."
"Well, it's not something I ever plan to be in again."
"People should just take care of themselves..."

I look with respect at this fit,trim,example of diabetic longetivity. They exist, they really do. People who are completely healthy- except for the diabetes. People who don't take 10 other drugs w/their insulin. People who've never been in the hospital, except at diagnosis. Amazing. Even more so, if this guy was diagnosed by any of the docs around here..I often feel like the only type 1 within a 200 mile radius, so finding another local PWD is a rare/never occurance.

And then, I go in, polish off 1. plate of Chinese 2. Baked Potato 3. Salad 4. Fruit 5. 3 types of pie, ice cream, and a cookie 6.Coffee/tea and put that insulin pump to good use(thank goodness for technology). And thank goodness my appetite has returned. en masse. No seafood though.(not for a long time)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Luck O' the Pumper

Every one of 7 infusion sets (over the past couple of days) has fallen off, they aren't staying in very well. Usually, I put a layer of Tegaderm or IV prep, then insert the set(manually) through that. You'd think it was summer, the way that Tegaderm is sweating off. When the Tegaderm layer is 3/4 off, and the Silhoette patch is flapping up and down(the tube just BARELY in) it usually is just a matter of an hour before the entire thing just goes to pot. No matter how careful I try to be, not to bump it.
Time to break out my limited stash of Smash-and-Apply Matisol ampules. (kind of look like those emergency snakebite things.)

A day later- it's already starting to come off, but the fact that it lasted a day is very, very impressive. Lasted longer then the other sets did! I really think I need superglue.

And I'm not the only one in the OC to be having recent infusion set

Saw a bumper sticker today that said "HI- It's the only way to live life" and while they were obviously talking about marijuana(and other assundries), I could only see it from the diabetes angle. Having been HI(and just about every number in between), I can say that HI's make a pretty lousy life. I can't see a drug high being any better, both produce temporary exotic sensations and are extremily bad for your body. Don't do it, folks- try to be kind to your meter this holiday season.

And speaking of having every blood sugar on the meter, that's not quite true. I've (consciously) had 60's,50's,40's, 30's, teens, and 1 LOW- but have never tested in the 20's. I've probably been in the 20's, just never tested then. Back when I was going through a rough patch of not feeling lows,(till around 40) when I did get low I'd be too freaked out about how low I was so I'd eat like all get out + not test.
Now, I feel my lows pretty well but if I'm really low I always just eat(and test, to make sure I'm coming up.) The last thing I feel like doing is testing in the middle of a low, and testing is not going to change anything about the course of action. My lows have also changed(in that, I'm completely blockheaded during them) it wasn't like that when I first got diabetes. I could be in the teens, and holding a perfectly lucid conversation. I guess that's a good change, it could trigger someone else to the fact that I'm low.Like if I were ever considering matrimony, and thus a potential Husband Hypo(r) Alert. Must be nice.

And on a side note, I didn't eat at Taco John's last week, but I would also recommend not eating at certain (chain)seafood establishments, at least in this state. Every time an ad for seafood would play(on the hospital tv set),I'd have to turn the tv off(before throwing up)-I am not a big fan of seafood right now. Seafood didn't cause it, but it certainly helped.(other family members didn't get near as sick)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Fourscore - 72 years Ago

It's a day that lives in infamy.

It's a thought that permeates my dreams, and the first conscious thought of the day.

It's the number that flashes across the meter screen- 145, decent, but still indicutive of diabetes.

It's the mental calculation of how much insulin for 1/2 a large muffin plus extra, for just sitting around all morning.

It's an entire day, a year, a decade.

It's part of life.

And I plan to live it all.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Still Snowless in the South

While the Winter Winds blow...

blares on the tv set. Ironically, its summer in Alaska (in Season 3,at least)- not winter, but watching winter in Alaska would make me feel even colder so I overlook the slight discrepancy.

Northern Exposure(Seasons 3+4), along with 10 DVD's from Black Friday are my project this week. I need to get caught up on my cultural experiences, and this is the method of choice under the circumstances.

Still no snow- some slight snow flurries last night(the first). No, I don't live in Bermuda(I'm sure that many of you guys are sick of snow), the "Valley" is protected from some of the severeties in weather + we don't get all that much snow. Which is fine with me.
Although,last year at this time, there was snow.

The telephone rings, and I leap off the couch to answer it. Paperwork is ready for pickup at the doctor's office, and they gave me an extra two days so I wouldn't have to go back to work today.
Thank you,God. Perhaps by Monday, the nausea will be completely gone.

And that's about it- do any of you guys know how to get Blogger to quit bugging me to switch?

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Status Epilepticus

Over the course of the weekend...
My computer mouse died. Went into a hypoglycemic fit, and didn't stop. Or, at least that's what I think happened to it. That happened Friday. Poor thing.

- - -
1 AM, Sunday morning-I got the grade A, let it 'rip from both ends stomach virus.
Nothing stayed down, I exausted any "free puke" rules long ago. Didn't know if I had any ketones + frankly, didn't care. Blood sugars hovered in the mid 100's range.
9 AM, Sunday morning- Extreme abdominal pain, couldn't get up without passing out so that kind of eliminated any driving plans + I call 911.
9:20 AM- Puke up some more, en route to hospital.
12 PM- Dierrea begins. Puking temporarily quits. Spike temperature.
3 PM- ER doctor makes the decision to admit me. Hospital doctor asks me if I "stick to my diet". I'm so annoyed at this I begin to think even my pcp has a better grasp of things then this doctor.
3:30 PM- IV antibiotics start.
4 PM- Admitted.
6 PM- Eat jello. Cute pharmacist comes by with a spare AAA battery for my pump thereby saving me from a fate worse then death.(hospital sliding scale)You rock,dude.
7 PM- Go for xrays.
8 PM- Throw up jello.
Next morning...
Blood pressure stays low all day(80/40's low). Didn't know it was possible to have that and still be a functioning member of the human race.
9 AM- Doc in. Informs me that my electrolytes, blood pressure are still too low + the dierrea needs to stop before getting out.
Spend most of day conked out on anti-nausea drugs.
6 PM- Blood sugar spikes to 300's. Bolus.
300's all night..
6 AM- BP, electrolytes, temperature are now back to normal.
11 AM- Get out of hospital.
The local hospital isn't all bad, but they were still pretty clueless on all matters food related + insulin needs. And not once did they check urine ketones. You don't expect University style care, but its still kind of rough to have to handle such monumental dosing decisions when you personally could care less. Its still diabetes, its still up to you, and it never goes away.
Blood sugars have been upper 200's today-it seems bgs are much better when you're upchucking all those calories. Need to increase my basals tonight.
The one positive thing about all of this, it appears my a1c has gone down by .5 since that a1c in November. I can't wait to tell my pcp doc that..
Last week was kinda tough emotionally, but I'm determined that I will try to do better + not let it get me down.I'm on the right track.
And its the end of the grueling work pace-rest of the week I'm off work while my body recuperates.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

I Believe- therefore, I DO

Remember this?

Time flies, when you’re having fun. (And seriously, its been fun. I love blogging, whether or not it does anything for anyone else, it does for me)

Went to primary care doc’s for another script (although I’ve been studiously putting off not going, couldn’t avoid it). I need the refill RX.

“So how are you doing?” he asks, as he enters the room.
“Uh, no, but that’s what everyone is supposed to say before they launch into the reason they came there in the first place. It’s the polite thing to do.”
“I’m a doctor- I don’t care. You can say whatever you want, ok?”
“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”
“And how’s the diabetes?”
“Really good.”
“How good is good?”
“It’s been pretty stable for awhile.”
“Last a1c?”
“I don’t know yet, its been a couple of weeks and I haven’t got the results yet.”
“And your numbers?”
“Mostly between 100-200.” (Now)
“Your last a1c was-“ flipping though the chart. “Pretty high. Who do you see over at X?”
“Dr. K.”
“I’m going to find out the results of your last one.”
Proceed to call over there and find out the results, in less then 5 minutes. (To my utter amazement, it must be a doctor thing, it would take me 10 years to get someone to call me back)
“Have her call me- this kid doesn’t need strokes, heart attacks, and amputations down the road.”
List 3 separate numbers as contact info. I am kind of worried- its not like my endo doesn’t do a good job or that I ever said anything negative about her. What’s she going to think? It is entirely, 100% my fault about my a1c. She’s a good endo-she attempts war on the basal rates + everything. Its not her fault I’m a hopeless case.
Hang up, turn around.
“You haven’t gone down.”
“I kind of figured.”

Push glasses up, scoot over.
“You know, you’re too young to have diabetes complications. I am seriously worried about you.”
“I try.”(put passion into voice)
“Is there anything going on?”

“You mean, besides life? I’ve been working 60 hour weeks-its not like diabetes is a huge priority right now.”
“It needs to be.”
“I know.”
“Did I ever tell you about the guy in South Carolina?”
“Oh, I thought I had.”
“What about the guy in South Carolina? Someone you knew?”
“During my residency.”
“Tell me the story, then.”
“He developed diabetes at 17. Started losing his vision at 25. Had two heart attacks, a stroke, kidney failure, went 80% blind, and had an amputation. Frequently ran blood sugars in the 300-500 range and spent much of the time in the hospital from DKA. He said diabetes wasn’t going to prevent him from living his life but he essentially ignored it and it cost him his life. Most of it happened when he was 30-32. Two years-in and out of the hospital-and he died.”
“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad.”
“I know.”
“It’s just- you remind me so much of the path he was taking. I don’t want this to happen to you.”
Resist urge to tell him that I DON’T run blood sugars in the 300-500 range. Just the 200.
“And I’ve got another patient, she got diabetes around 15 + has worked hard all the years to keep her blood sugars down. Checking her blood sugars before every meal, etc. She just had her 20th year eye checkup-and there are NO signs of diabetic eye disease. Had two healthy pregnancies too.”
“That’s nice. Am I the highest a1c in your practice?”
“I don’t know why some patients have more motivation then others. I wish I could help you find your motivation.”
“It’s partly a genetics game, you know.”
“Yes, but its mostly blood sugars.”
“Well, if I get my a1c down, you know you can work miracles on anybody.”
“Not necessarily.”
“Just about.”
“I want you to.”
“I want me to too. It’s just impossible, to stay motivated for that period of time.”
“Three weeks- I want to see you back in here.”
“That might help.”
(That was the condensed version, it lasted about 15 minutes)
Discuss rx matters.
Walk out to desk.
“You’re the last appointment of the day,” the nurse informs me.
Look at clock. 4:35.
“You mean, I could have gone on with the sermon for another 30 minutes?” he says jokingly.
“That’s ok. I’ve heard quite a few sermons in my life, and that was certainly long enough.”
Check out.

Why is it so hard to stay motivated? Why? And why do I feel like a failure, every single time I go there...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Charge of the Life Brigade

Half a day, half a month
Half a year onward,
All in(to) the valley of Diabetes
Rode the one hundred.
“Forward, the Lite Brigade!
Go forth and live!” he (the endo) said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the one hundred.

“Forward, the Lite Brigade!”
Was there a soul dismayed? (Heck, YEAH)
And though, each one knelt and prayed
That he, and others, might be saved
Each one ultimately knew
Their bodies had blundered
They did not make reply
They could no know the why
They did not wish to die
Young, brave, one hundred!

Donuts to the right of them
Pizza to the left of them,
Chocolate in front of them,
Temptation all around!
Volley’d and thunder’d,
Stormed at, with Death’s cruel knell
Clumsily they rode, as their eyes did swell (untreated diabetes)
Into the jaws of D
Into a dream from Hell
Rode the one hundred.

Ate they, their diet poor
Not for them, the carb‑rich smore,
This thin, hungry corps
Fighting for life, while
All the world wondered:
Bathed in ketonish blood
Against a Cola flood,
Yank and Aussie
Reel’d from the parching thirst
Drank till they thought they’d burst
All on the ground fell they
Fell the one hundred.

Donuts to the left of them,
Pizza to the right of them
Temptation all around,
Who will be left of them?
Left of one hundred?

A teenage boy, his face chalk white
Lay hoping, on the ground
As all around him, lost their fight
He listened- to a sound.

A maiden fair, with locks of gold
Came wading through the muck
Thought he, “A man could die, a death so bold
With her to bring me luck!”

“Quick, soldier, plunge into thine arm
This life‑giving elixir,
Twill do thee good, it will not harm
This glorious clear fixer.”

His not to question why,
His not to sit and cry,
His but, to do, or die
Last of the hundred!

The boy awoke, a gentle hand
Caressed his fevered brow
A nurse in white, a black clad man
Asked how he felt right now.

A thousand battles daily rage,
Since insulin first came,
Yet still, we all repeat this page
And tell of Banting’s(and Best,let's not forget the other guy) fame.

Honor the Life Brigade
Honor the lives they saved,
And to the lives they’ll save,
Countless of hundreds!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Monday Musings

My coworker had a heart attack today. We're pretty close, there's three of us that work in that area + we get along well.
About 8 am, she got this sudden chest/neck pain, red face, and started sweating profusely. Our supivisor came over + my other coworker ran to page the CNA. The CNA said to call the squad, which we did.
It took 15 minutes for the rescue squad to get there-and they're just 3 miles away. A person could die, waiting for the rescue squad. (and I'm sure lots of people do die-waiting for that rescue squad!!!) I'm not licensed to be an EMT in the facility, but I was nervous as heck that the squad wouldn't get there + I'd have to do CPR.
She's been admitted, and they're running tests now.I just hope she's ok, she's got every single cardiac risk factor there is + needs to quit smoking. I'm worried about her.

Tonight, my youngest brother took me out to Red Lobster (a late,late,late birthday present as he's been in Marine boot camp the past 3 months). It was awesome- I love Red Lobster.

The events of the morning got me thinking about how more frequently PWD's have heart attacks, and in 30 years am I going to be in the same boat? Add the high a1cs, the family history of cardiac problems, and the length of time with the D and its more then just a worry-its a huge probability. I suppose the only two positive factors are A. I don't smoke and B.I don't have high cholesterol. Heart attacks are really scary-I don't want that complication either,thank you very much.

It's been awesome weather, supposed to be in the 60's till Friday.(when it gets colder again) Almost feels like spring.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Official D-Friendly Gift Giving Guide

If you’re like me, every Christmas you'll probably get a few of these.
-Sugar Free chocolates/candy(that often don’t taste all that great- and contain enough sorbital to keep you restroom running well into the next year)
- Diabetic cookbooks
-Boost, or similar “glucose stabilizing” drinks
- Diabetic socks

Your loved ones think you will appreciate/use them, and you definitely appreciate the thought. But you probably will NOT use them.
So, what do the type 1's on your list really want?

The Quick Fix Keychain- which totally tops the list in terms of convenience, durability, and now comes in 4 lovely colors. Your hypofix goes anywhere you do, I can't tell you how many times I've been glad I've had this.15 carbs makes enough of a differance to get to where ever you're going, or to make it someplace+ buy food. You can also put jellybeans,smarties,or other small candies in them.

Frios- On every continant, Frios rule.. Frio's for pumps, vials,pens-and simular products for Byetta users. They're always appropriate(summer is only 7 months off!).I love my Frio.

A 24 pack case of Diet Coke (or Diet Pepsi..whichever one they prefer)- What D wouldn't love this??? most of us are Diet Carbonated Beverage addicts.

An Itunes gift card- where they can download such classics as:
- Santa Claus Gave Me Diabetes(Stuckey + Murray). For those of us diagnosed during the holiday season, this song hits particuraly close to home.
-Ebay (Parady of "I want it that Way" by the Backstreet Boys) by Weird Al Yankovitch. Most of those online Christmas deals will probably end up in your next yard sale.
- free diabetes related podcasts
- Walk the Line(Johnny Cash). The Man in Black had type 2 diabetes himself, so he understood part of what he was singing about.
- On Top of Spaghetti. Its a good thing meatballs have few-zero carbs, losing one's meatball will not wrack havoc on your bg control.

A suscription to one of these fine magazines is always appreciated:
-Diabetes Forecast
-Diabetes Health
-Voice of the Diabetic
-Diabetes Selfmanagement

Or a gift certificate here. I'd love one of those shirts, but can't justify $25 on one.

A Environmentally Friendly Syringe-Lancet Zapper:
(no good for pump needles-but still,pretty handy + freakin' cool)You can just recap the syringe + toss,when you're done with burning the needle hub off. No (getting stuck) worries for the poor trash guy,when he picks up your trash.

Any further suggestions to the list?

Thursday, November 23, 2006

72 Hours in Review

Happy Turkey Day, Ya'll!!!!!!
(After being throughly stuffed, I figure I should type off some of those calories)

So Tuesday..

6 A.M. Get up, check blood sugar. Assume it to be in the upper stratosphere, given how thirsty I am, but its only 104. Whatever.

7 AM- Eat sausage+ bagel biscuit.

8:30 AM- 239. Bummer. Take 3 units.

9:30 AM- Indulge Self in coworker's too-die-for angel food cake.

10 AM- It is announced that we'll be working Friday AND Saturday. I want to punch something, preferably the idiots in Corporate who make these decisions. What good is a holiday weekend if you get one day off, only to slave the other two? My entire weekend has just been ruined. And its not like we're some needed service, like a hospital or gas station or something. This is retail- people will not die if they don't get that Tommy Hilfigure watch come Dec.25.
No getting drunk Thursday night.
No Black Friday.
No wild holiday house decorating sprees.(heck,I'll be too tired)
It is really not fair.

11 AM- 236. Take 3 more units.

12:15 PM- Check blood sugar, just for the priviledge of NOT seeing a 200's number.
139. Ahh, life is better now.

1 PM- Eat bologna + Swiss sandwich(both of which I don't really care for) from the vending machine, because there was absolutely nothing better in there and I ate my packed lunch for breakfast...

1:15 PM- Auditing supivisor comes over, hands me a slip of paper and tells me to fix the order. Spend next hour fixing it, only to find out original count size was wrong anyway. Check slip of paper, see that I've been marked up 11 times.
I didn't make 11 mistakes- I made one mistake 11 times!!!!
Just for the record- 1 mistake is forgivable, 11 is NOT. 11 is very, very bad. The auditor, apparently, has been trying to impress her supivisor + it worked. The thing is, I was just going off the paperwork(the mistake originated elsewhere) + it all comes back on my head..CRUD.(I won't get fired, but if I did, this is not the week I'd care)

4 PM- 139. Not bad. Go home, retrieve mail from mailbox, partially porn addressed to landlady's husband. Am I surprised- no, that past is common knowledge. Am I irratated? yes, he can keep his porn mags, I don't want them. Stuff it back in mailbox.
5:30 PM- Go to gym,eat applesauce, workout. Infusion set falls off.
6:30 PM-287. Eat Chinese food anyway.
8:30 PM-459. Bolus huge amount
1:30 AM-300.
5:30 AM-200. Wake up from nightmare that your own child has just been diagnosed,and you're sitting in your Ex-Ped Endo's office(the sins of one's teenagerhood loom large) crying. I have got to stop thinking about hypothetical situations that could possible occur,I don't even have any kids yet!
Day goes much better, blood sugars behave.(as I make the conscious effort to count every carb, check every hour, and treat anything under 100 like it'll soon turn into a low.)
5:30 PM- Run errands around town, eat supper at folks, peel, cut, and dice one's way to a sleepy coma.
Had two lows today,(morning) both from bolusing a large amount(for breakfast)because I didn't want to go high from the inactivity. Consequently, I didn't eat as much for Thanksgiving dinner because I'd consumed 2 cups of juice + a can of sweetened tea for my lows. Somehow, my body has acquired this "calorie limit", and it doesn't matter where the calories come from-I stuff too easily. One plate, one piece of pie, and I was history.
And I've decided I'm going to go out on BF (after work),some places have all day sales so I'll likely run into some bargains. Screw work-it's not going to dictate my life.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Meter O' Mine

As a rescue squad trainee, I had a great fondness for our uniform.
Pockets, pockets, everywhere.
The BDU's alone sported 6. 2 knee, 2 side, 2 back. The jacket had a 2 arm pockets and
a smaller pocket on top of the (joined) hand pockets. And, of course, the uniform shirt had a small left pocket. Topped off with thick boots-it was very professional looking,even if everything was entirely too long.(obviously,designed by the male members of the RS)

While most people on the squad rather underutilized their pockets, I made full use of mine. (figuring, if I had to look unfashionable + fat anyway, I'd go the whole 9 yards)

Right side pocket- pump
Right knee pocket- glucose tabs
Right back pocket- medical ID, since I didn't want to WEAR it..
Left side pocket- money, cellphone
Left knee pocket-car keys
Left back pocket- meter, strips, poker

A juice box or two was generally stashed in the jacket pocket, along with various pens, papers, penlights, etc. (tools of the trade)

I carried all my D supplies on me, because I didn't want to use the ambulance's unless it were absolutely necessary. (A. I hate glucose gel, B. Their meters sucked, and C. I didn't want anyone to know I had diabetes) By doing this, I also didn't have to cart around a pocketbook.

One particularly long night, as several of us jump back into the ambulance to head back to the station, one of the paramedics notices my meter case lying out.

"Hey, what's this?" He unzips it.

The other squad trainee looks over at it, interested. I immeadiently resort to my best pokerface + don't say a word.

"It looks like some patient left their home blood glucose testing machine in here-did we have any D patients tonight?"

"Beats me," the other trainee responds. I shrug, non-commitally, hoping my flaming red face doesn't give anything away.

"We should really drop it off, next time we're out at the hospital."

(Nooo you won't, I think, when we're back at the station, I'll be repossessing it, and will NEVER,EVER,EVER leave it out again)

The conversation drifts away to other topics, and when we arrive at the station I take it back. (when no one is looking)

A meter is a very personal thing. Just like a pump, you've got this special affection for the bloodsucking technomarvel.

And you get very upset when someone touches/tampers with it.
(You touch it, You die!!!)
Although, if I would have killed the paramedic everyone would have known I had diabetes, and my overall effectiveness on the job would have doubted).(At saving lives, too..)

(inspired off this. Ok, so I'm not 22 anymore,but I can still have fun with my rather boring,plain o'le black meter case) Cool contest,Allison- I hope D-life gets many imaginative,fun, submissions.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Reality Check in Aisle Five

I decided against an all-nighter(awaiting the coming of the PlayStation 3), namely, because I am a working women AND can't camp out two days ahead of time. 16 hours is a reasonable time period, two days is not. The store down the road, where I'd planned to make my midnight run-already had more then ten customers, as of YESTERDAY. And 10 PS3's were all that store was getting. I am not going to wait 12 hours in freezing temperatures, unless I could be assured that I would be getting one. What is it- do they think more will magically appear, or do they not do their homework ahead of time?
There are less painful ways of doing this, such as preorders at various places.(which I do have, it will just be awhile) And of course, there is Black Friday. (8 days away..can you feel the excitement? lol)

I am, once again, the proud Aunt...

Of a nephew this time, named Paul. Poor Paul was supposed to be a girl, but I'm glad my SIL had a backup plan(name). Nonetheless, the pink clothes/blankets will have to wait for his sister!
Paul came TWO days after Emily, 4 weeks early. Babies come when they want to, but I think its kinda cool that they were almost born on the same day.
Welcome to the world, Paul!!!!!!!
(pics forthcoming, when I get into see them)

Further Reality Checks forthcoming.(time to frantically scribble numbers/info down for endo appointment tomarrow)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

List of Places to REALLY Avoid on Friday

Best Buy? Check.

Target? Check.

Circuit City? Check

Staples? Check

Office Max? Check

Kmart? Potential check- it depends on where the Best Buy losers migrate next

Walmart? Double Check.

Endo’s Off- Wait, I can’t avoid that. Gotta take my medicine like a woman.
So at which of these fine establishments will I be camping out, (on the night of the 16th) thermals- coat-sleeping bag-hot coffee in hand, listening to “Summertime, Summertime” on my ipod while I breathe periodically on my pump + meter, willing them NOT to freeze? (I’ll give you a clue, it isn’t the last one)
Stay tuned.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Definatly NOT a NaPoBloMo(R)

I wouldn't be able to do that, pop out a post every single day. Unless I was the weather person. But today...

Meet little Emily. (my very first, NEW NIECE! born today)

Closing the gap on the previously dispared of, complete + absolute, male takeover. Go, girls.
(Another niece due in December)
And everyone is doing fine.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Touring Constitution Highway

Quick quiz:
Which of our Founding Fathers lived on the edge of civilization, supported his wife's deadbeat son, has one of the East Coast's central party schools named after him, was 5'2 (his wife was taller then him!) and lived the longest(ripe old 86, baby)?

Our very own James Madison.
Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Madison was not some rich, stuckup snob- he was truly a man of the people. He even lived in a doublewide, and that's the very first Port-A-Potty on the side:

(sorry, the sign just cracked me up-like that doublewide was actually his mansion!)

After work yesterday, my boyfriend and I went over to Montpelier, you want to talk about the edge of civilization- it still is. Took an hour to get there from the city limits, 2.5 hours total. I think its on the opposite side of the city from Monticello-despite him and Thomas Jefferson being such good buddies. Probably took a day's journey by horseback, back in those days.
Montpelier is still in restoration mode, it won't be finished until 2009. It really wasn't very picturesque, but it was cool, nonetheless. After James Madison died, his wife sold it, moved to DC + then she died 13 years later. And in 1903, the Duponts bought it, added about a zillion rooms, a racetrack + a train station+ tracks(yes, seriously, some people have more money then they know what to do with). So the restoration society decided to tear down all the additions, etc. (that the Duponts did) to make it truly authentic. Inside the house, you can still see little bits of wallpaper from the Dupont days, along with the Madison whitewashed bricks. As they tear the Dupont add-ons down, they have to be careful that they aren't tearing away Madison stuff because the Duponts were big recyclers and reused everything.
Some things, though, stood the test of time:

James Madison's "Temple".
(no,I'm not the blond)

Underneath, was an icehouse where they kept ice, and that's how Dolley could serve ice cream in the summertime. It also kept the upper area cool in the summertime, James Madison used it as a study sometimes.

The former ice hole:

Cedar of Lebanon trees:(from both the Madison + Dupont days)

They are really, really tall! One of the tallest, if not the tallest, trees I have ever seen.

One of the things that duly impressed me, was Mr. Madison was just 25 when he went to the Continental Congress. And he was the only one to remember to write down everything that went on in that room, posterity can thank him for setting the record straight.

I'm sure you're all wondering just HOW Mr. Madison finally died. During his last days, as he was pretty stiff and sore from arthritis and getting progressively weaker, his doctor(who had also been the former physician of Thomas Jefferson) offered him a stimulant so he could live a little longer and die in style on July 4.
(a popular dying date, back then) His family refused though. One morning, as he was eating breakfast in his study, he started to choke. His niece asked him what was wrong, he sat up straight, looked at her and said clearly + strongly,"Just a change of mind, my dear" and then slumped over the table and died. He must not have died from choking, he must have died from whatever it triggured... he was 86, and had been weak/ailing for quite some time.
He died on June 28, 1837. Didn't make it to the 4th.

The house under reconstruction:

And what its supposed to look like. (Scale model)

The weather was perfect,and the return trip was MUCH shorter.(an hour, found a shortcut home)

Dinner at Golden Corral, an end to a perfect day. (Definition of "Day":11 AM-8 PM, work does not count in the above activities(I try not to remember such things)). And I got my two insulin reactions out of the way, prior to 11 AM(so that wasn't so bad). 8:30 AM, 10:00 AM, and that was that. Didn't ruin the rest of the day.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

National D-Blog Day

(Today is National D-Blog Day. Every D-blog post has to be D-related, so I'll put my regular posts on hold for this)

Just a day like any other day.
I'd skipped out on a precalculus class that evening to go to the local insulin-pumpers meeting.
Diet Soda
Fruit and...
Everything healthy, of course. (to deter individuals like myself, who absolutely would eat cookies/cake/junk food if it were offered)
Everything was there- yet something vital was missing. Or rather, someone.
I wondered about it, until(at the end of the meeting) the CDE told us why.
Just like that,gone that same day.And I thought, perhaps this was the most intelligent skipping of class that I had ever done. Otherwise,I'd have not known about it for months. And then I cried, all the way home.

Two days later I was at High Mass, rather a first for a Baptist...
It was crowded in the small chapel,standing room only for the latecomers. Which I most decididly was.

Candlelight sparkled against the stained glass windows, the chapel pews were lined with flowers. Outside, a light, chilly rain was falling. It was a overcast day, matching for a funeral.

People begun filing past the casket.

"How did you know her?" the priest,(who'd come up beside me) asked gently.

I start.

"She was-the best nurse. At the diabetes pediatric clinic. I knew her from there."

"I see," he nods. "You can go see her, if you want."

And I say my final goodbyes.

I still miss you,Andi- you were the best thing to happen for over 20 years worth of pediatric diabetes patients. You understood teenage D's like no one else at that place.
Diabetes isn't the only disease that needs cured, cancer also makes the list. And on this day, the anniversary of your death, I remember you + others like you who made the early years of D, just a bit easier.
This post is dedicated to you.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election Day Tag

I've been tagged by Minnasota Nice therefore,
I feel the need to tell you five useless pieces of information about me:

#1 I cannot parallel park, at all. Not a bicycle, not a car, not anything. I have tried- believe me. I do not try anymore, because A. I would hold up traffic for the next 45 minutes trying to get it right or B. run into someone, accidentily. If it would have been a Driver's Ed requirement- I still would not have a lisence.

#2 I bake a mean cherry pie. I enjoy baking, if I've got oodles of spare time and am bored anyway.(needless to say, it doesn't happen much)

#3 I've broken my left knee- twice. Once from falling over a little kid at the rollar rink, once from falling into a cattle crossing(and getting stuck). I fully expect to need a knee replacement before I turn 30, that knee is my nemesis.

#4 I was a tomboy, more into climbing trees + bossing my younger brothers(that is, until they outgrew me) then playing with dolls. The physical activity was good though, until I got diabetes I was rarely/never sick.

#5 I'm really good at shooting baskets- compliments of my job, part of which includes tossing up empty boxes on a (moveable) trash line. You do for hours on end, and it really improves your hand/eye coordination. I am not 6 feet tall though, so I won't be trying out for the WNBA.

Final Thoughts..
GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I don't care for who, just go do it)

Monday, November 06, 2006

Double O Seven

Most of the time, I entertain the notion that I am stronger then this disease. Check blood sugars, count carbs, stay on top of the pump stuff, do all the stuff that you’re supposed to. And you’ll live the perfect, complication-free, successful, inspiring, life.

Or so the endocrinologists tell you.

I have just one thing to say to that- most of them have never hypo’ed. Never descended into that deep, ditzy, panicky fog that makes you want to stuff everything in sight into your mouth. Never felt the shakes, never tried to hide it from anyone(so as not to scare them). Never burst out in tears because you’re just so not strong, just so tired of the endless procession of lows that aren’t manageable-aren’t avoidable. Never passed out, never woken up to the paramedics, never been throughly chastised for what one did/didn’t do to prevent this.
And the ones who have(the ones who have diabetes) and tell you this, are probably control freaks themselves(like Dr. Bernstein).Because every good endo(with or without D) is not going to tell you that D's going to be just peachy.

Not that strong. Not now, not ever, stupid diabetes. Lows seem to combine all the insecurities I feel about diabetes. Lows are the thing we can't control. We are at the mercy of an unpredictible drug, which does whatsoever it wants, whensoever it wants.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

And the I's have It


Ipod: (yup, a new one..couldn't fix the Minis)



Ivisit Ithamologist:

Iget: good report(on neuro front, regular dilation next year) but I'm not sure I wanted needed to know 70% of all D's have traces of retinopathy by 20 years...



Ifloat(in Diet Coke):

The End.

I've worked out twice this week, once on the treadmill, once on the funky arm-leg machine(can't recall what its named). Both times,didn't have any problems with hypo's,(ended up 140,150) but the other machine burned glucose at about 3x the rate of the treadmill. Which explains why I didn't last long(energywise-as I still could have done another 15 minutes before getting low), that machine is a killer. Should have done more, as I've had to eat way too much candy so as not to offend certain coworkers, landlady, etc.
Me: (joking) Darn it, this is the 3rd time this week you've given me candy. My endocrinologist is going to murder you when I get the next a1c.
Coworker: Don't eat it all at once, work it in to your plan!
As much as I like candy, I can't very easily work 60 pieces in(maybe over the course of the next year)..But I know she didn't want it, and I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
Landlady: Here, have some candy. I can't bear to throw it out.
Me: Ok.
(Landlady is not one of the individuals who gets to know about the D) Besides, you do not say NO to the landlady, ever.
I will probably make up a collection box to donate to the food bank.
Going to a baby shower tonight for one SIL, her family is hosting a huge dinner, etc. Coming from a family of 10 kids, its sure to be homemade,delicious, and plentiful. Need to fill up my resevoir to the 300 U mark today. The guys, of course, will be doing manly things(shooting off guns)after the meal. While the females ooh/ahh over baby stuff..

Threw up once this week,it's actually been a pretty good week. I love this time of year-the leaves, the hot chocolate, the overtime..(not!)
This is a really busy time of year, won't slow down till mid December(when all of our Christmasy stuff has been shipped to the stores). I get good gift ideas, seeing what all goes to the stores. Next weekend, we'll get a 20% discount off at our stores so I'll probably go and buy up the stuff I've seen and wished I could have..

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Daylight Savings Time

Sunday, October 29.
2 am-
Phone rings. Another one rings. Soon, a hundred, a thousand, phone calls flood the lines at all three pump companies. It's going to be a long night for the staffers.

"May I help you?"

"How do I change the time on my pump?" Panicky voice of new pumper.

"I can help you with that- go to x, x, press x, x, etc..."

"Is this gonna screw up my blood sugars???!"

"It may. You should be in contact with your health care team to determine how much more/less insulin you'll need, if your basal rates differ overnight."

Yep, your health care team will be so thrilled to answer that question(that you should have asked them about at said appointment last week).

Sunday, October 29.
8 AM: I’ve got a odd quirk- every time the time changes, I wake up low. Or lower. I have done this 16 consecutive times-it's like a tradition. I do not know why this is, since I practically always sleep in on weekends + it doesn’t seem to impact the need to alter the basal rate down. Woke up 187 today, down from last night, if I’d have been normal last night I’d be low today.(and the last 3 nights blood sugar have gone up overnight)
Being a veteran pumper, I do not worry about it. Changing basal rates and everything at 2 AM is more trouble then it's worth.(and its so NEWBIE..)I just adjust later, and move on.
Diabetes is just so weird sometimes.


I’ve discovered Grey’s Anatomy- and I’m so addicted.I live a very sheltered life(obviously), I rarely watch television. Television does not enrich one’s mind(except, in all the things you probably shouldn’t be doing anyway) or bank account, not to mention addicting you to so many shows you hardly get anything done (around the house). For those reasons, I don’t get it, but I occasionally watch back episodes of various shows. ER season 7 will have to wait, I’m still on Grey’s Anatomy second season.

I really need to speed up the getting-of-the-degree; work is getting on my nerves. Or rather, one of the individuals at work, who, as Designated Health Care Person milks this position to an extreme. She has a major Doctor Complex, calls herself a nurse, and is a CNA. Everything is about the company-and not the patient, no one “hurts themself at work, you did it at home”, quite a lot of that has been going on recently. If you aren’t bleeding-it ain’t a problem. (Yes, I once whacked my head and was told that) Some of my coworkers have been having some real problems w/her of late.

I know more then she does, and I’m pretty dumb- but I am an EMT + working on a nursing degree, which she isn’t. The company should hire someone who can actually do something(besides dispense aspirin + unsolicited advice), but this is about $35/hr cheaper, I guess. I would not want her to ever attempt CPR (or anything else) on me- if there were a way of having that tattooed on my chest, I would. Don’t let her near me.
I got “Cheating Destiny” Tuesday(and had it read in three days). The one thing that really stands out to me is its just so much harder to see your kid diagnosed with diabetes then it is to have it yourself.
Man, what a powerful book. Especially the end- where they’re all at the 2005 Friends for Life conference.(I think I identified with that the most- seeing as I was there myself!) The author, who has had diabetes 30 years(and much of that time, had a1cs in the 6's) sees diabetes in a whole new light after his son is diagnosed.
- - -
Check out your status here:

“ Much more nice than naughty. Can be very thoughtful. Has improved cleanliness, which I like. Could take better care of toys. Says "thank you" often, but still not as much as I would like. Good mood often spreads to others. Hopefully, will keep up the good work!”
Hmm, dunno about all that. What I need- is a Good/Bad PWD meter, which would swing up and down based on current blood glucose readings + the phase of the moon.
- - -
My brother says I’ll feel better if I got into an exercise routine, while that might be true, its not like I get no exercise.(some of my family thinks exercise is the cure to everything, including diabetes) Getting payed to sweat is much better then paying to sweat. I sweat daily at my job, it’s a workout.(yes, I’m sure you all wanted to know that lovely piece of information) There’s a gym right across the road from work, and he’s offered to pay the membership fees if I try it/like it/stick with it. And exercise, to some extent, can make you feel better overall even if you’re going through a rough medical times. So I may try it. That being said,
I see the trainer tomarrow.

I’ve not thrown up for 4 days, pretty good in my book. Monday-Wednesday was absolutely horrible, Tuesday evening my blood sugars shot to the moon + it became even more of a problem keeping ketones at bay. Spike (blood sugars), vomit, drop (blood sugars), eat, vomit, spike, vomit, etc. It wasn’t real sure what was the result of not eating and what was the result of the 400's but since all ketones aren’t good, it didn’t really matter. I called the gastro doc(they didn’t return my call till a day later) + tried to up my intake of caloried fluids, etc. It stopped, (that evening) much to my relief. It is like flying blind- dealing with ketones (you aren’t sure if being positive is a result of not eating, or a result of being high).
If whacked up bgs are the result of some gastro illness, who does one contact anyway- endo or the gastro?
- - -
On Thursday, it was Chili Day at work- it was good, hot, and stuffed with beans. I ate about half, and stuck it back in the refrigerator for the next day’s lunch. On Friday, I went to get my lunch + it was gone. I was peeved (especially when I saw my ex supivisor eating chili, maybe she got mine by mistake?) But figured it happens, its not the first time someone’s taken my lunch. Not exactly 100% honesty, where I work. That’s why there are vending machines- as backup for such misfortunes.

My body. A collection of various organs, all designed to function in perfect harmony. Only it never works out that way, my body organs get to pick the days they want to go on strike. Monday-Wednesday, its the stomach, followed by the lungs on Thursday, the brain(hypos) on Friday, and the brain and gut on Saturday. On Sunday, I crash(getting ready for another week!) I feel like a collection of medical disasters.I believe in predestination- some people will be healthy + die in their sleep at 98, some people won’t. My 40'ish coworker(currently in the process to donate a kidney) has never been in the hospital- including at birth.
Some people get all the breaks.
How many carbohydrates in this?
It looks good- worth every single unit of that 20-30 unit bolus.
- - -
The Top Eight Things to dress up as(on Halloween)
1. Sugar Free Plum Fairy
2. A Syringe- Orange pointy cap, white dress, black unit markings, and a plunger(out the back end).
3. Vegetables. Because they’re low carb, of course, and you’ll know how much to bolus for them. (Most of them)
4. A Food Nazi- Very, very scary, if you ask me. “Trick or Treat- Should you be eating that???”
5. An Endocrinologist. White lab coat, Elmo scrub cap, orange + blue striped socks. Stethoscope slung carelessly, authoritatively, around neck. Reading glasses perched on end of nose. (And yes, I’ve been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy)
6. A pancreas- Red, puffy, and with little black dots for your islets.
7. Hypoboy or Hypogirl-
(More powerful then 10 strapping firefighters..
Faster then a speeding ambulance..
I’m low, and I need sugar NOW.)
8.A meter- with a perfect 100 mg/dl written in black permanent marker ‘cross your chest. Seeing is believing.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Energy=Millions of Carbohydrates Squared

The one thing that’s wrong with that equation is its Sans Insulin, and one won’t be getting much energy off that deal. With all due respect to Mr. Einstein, it should be:
E= MC(squared) x I(to the 4th gallon)
That should cover it.
So you think your website has problems? I’ll tell you right now, they pale in comparison to these guys, whose website has been crashing regularly for months. Apparently (big surprise!) many YouTube’s users do not know how to spell. 62 million hits does present somewhat of a problem, and the poor utube guys couldn’t handle it.(see story)
Endoscopy went ok, it was over just like that. I was nervous, and thus high, but it was 200's going in which wasn’t too bad + when I got to recovery, the nurse checked it again(215). It took 2 hours for my blood pressure to recover(I think, because I was slightly dehydrated going in), it was 90's/50's range. 25 points off the norm makes one heck of a difference. After the rest of the IV fluids, it went up but I still felt rather off + the nurse checked my bg again, just to make sure I wasn’t low.
159 that time. Guess all those drugs make you feel like crud anyway, quite independent of actual vital signs. My dad drove me home, where I slept it off.
And the results were normal. Yay- still no answers. At least not in the esophageal tract.
Meanwhile, the puke-a-thon continues.
My blood sugar control, though, is great. This will work wonders on my a1c, which, quite frankly, definitely needs something..Life is pretty much one great big fasting basal check!
Since I can’t eat much.
Thought for Today: Only the mediocre are at their best 100% of the time. So if your recent blog entry sucks, take heart. It just goes to prove you’re not mediocre- you’ll have that brilliant, inspiring post soon.
Keep on plugging away.

Monday, October 16, 2006


In 9 hours, they'll be doing an endoscopy. Shoving a tube down my throat, all the way to the colon.
And I'm scared to death.
I'm scared of what they'll find, I'm scared of going under anesthesia.
I've been under general anesthesia several times, and never had a problem. But it still scares me.
And I'm scared of what my blood sugars will do during the procedure. Pre-surgeries, I've always just reverted back to Lantus but I think I should just stay on the pump for this. Will the staff moniter my blood sugars + keep them in a safe range?prob. so, but I'm still worried.
My dad's going to drive me to their house, after the procedure( where I'll sleep off the anesthesia)
I now have the overwhelming urge to clean my house, I won't be sleeping tonight anyway.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Cause and Effect(s)

Rain falls.

Sun shines.

Grass grows.

Type 1 drags mower out for one last shearing-of-the-lawn before winter.

3 hours later...

Meter reads 112.

Put on temporary rate, go to bed.

Awake sweating like the dickens. Rip pump off, go on 1:30 AM eating spree and check blood sugar while doing so.

22 mg/dl.

Panic, consume more candy corn. Grab phone, fall back into bed wonder if it’ll kick in anytime soon or if anyone would find me(days later). The phone is comforting though, it is my link to the outside world(and even if I’m fuzzy headed I would still know how to press 9) Fortuantly, its never come to that.
Feel better, go back to sleep.

Wake up 579. Hate morning, work, diabetes, and everything else(in that order)

Check ketones. (None)

Take corrective bolus(put pump back on)

Feel rotten till 10 AM, and which point the just eaten breakfast has obviously not effected the massive amount of insulin still floating around in your system from 4 hours earlier. You’re headed low, and its time for another snack.


- - - -

The greatest fear of every PWD...

Is not blindness.

Is not retinopathy.

Is not an empty wallet.

Is not stroke/cardiovascular disease.

Is not amputation x 2.

Is not “Dead in Bed” Syndrome.

Is not El Stupido Insurance Company.

Is not further Autoimmune Adventures.

Is not making a hypoglycemic idiot out of oneself at the lunchroom at work.

No, the greatest fear of every PWD is this.

It’s a simple, powerful story, and it makes me cry every time. Read the CWD review
of James Hirsches book(Cheating Destiny) and I knew I have to get it on Amazon. Any review that so completely sucks me in within the first two paragraphs I just gotta get the book/watch the movie.

How would you react, if there was no insulin available?

I’d like to say that I’d take it calmly, but from past experiences I’ve disproved that little illusion. When I’m high, I take water + insulin like it was going out of style + I’m really, really, cranky in the process.(diagnosis + last year proved that)Back in the later part of 1999, when the entire world was going a little nutso over the Y2K computer deal, I worried about whether I’d be able to get the medical supplies I needed.

Me: In January, if I can’t get test strips should I still take my insulin?
Pediatric Endocrinologist: (looking alarmed) You should ALWAYS take your insulin, don’t stop, you will get very sick! Promise me you’re not going to skip your insulin doses?
Me: Ok, I promise.
(thinking) How am I going to pull that off, if I can’t test my blood sugar? I need to test, otherwise I will not know the right dose of insulin to take. I will really suck at guessing.
(Yes, I’m very much a PWD of the Age of Glucose Monitors- and back then, I was very new to D as well)

Fortuantly for all of us, Y2K came and went(with no major problems). But I’ll admit it, dying from DKA is not on my list of ways to go. No, I’d not be calm + resigned to the situation, I’d be pretty hysterical.
Someday, the world may be faced with that situation again- or another disaster scenario befall this country. The television shots of Hurricane Katrina reminded us all of that. Who can forget the poignant Need Insulin sign?+ the teeming mass of humanity in need of diabetes supplies? People out there are still dying from it, simply from the lack of medication/supplies.

I am lucky.

I am lucky that I have insulin, a pump, testing supplies- and an insurance company, (even if said insurance company is a major pain in the gluteus maximus). So many people don’t have any of those.

I am lucky to have a great diabetes team- ranked one of the finest in the nation. Dudes(and Dudettes), I love ya all.

And I’m lucky to have the OC- and a blog, where I can vent out all my frustrations. Thanks for listening, guys.

And I can’t forget that, no matter how many insulin reactions(5) I've had in the past 24 hours.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

The Latest Meme

Working its way around the O.C..

1. Do you still have tonsils?
2. Would you bungee jump?
Yeah I would, if someone else paid for it.

3. If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would you do?

4. How many tattoos do you have?

5. Your favorite fictional animal?
Hard to say-but I like Speedy Gonzales.

6. One person that never fails to make you laugh?
My coworker, who is even more disorganized then me. Its not a mean laugh, though, she laughs at herself too.

7. Do you consider yourself organized?
Um, NO. I’m doing good just to show up at the right places at the right time, let alone being properly prepared for anything.
8. Any addictions?
Chocolate, Cheetos, and Diet Coke.

9 From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news?
Talk Radio- during the midmorning +mid-afternoon energy slumps. There’s nothing like hearing the latest political news, to get a person all fired up(and awake again).
10. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus?
Carnival - if I wanted to see animals, I’d just go to a zoo.

11. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you
grew up?
The person who collects all the coins out of the Wishing Fountains.

12. Best movie you've seen this year?
“Ladder 49"

13. Favorite alcoholic drink.
Red Wine.
14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Look at my pump, and if it isn’t 6:00(on the dot), I go back to sleep.

15. Siblings?
Older sister, 2 older brothers, and 2 younger brothers.

16. What is the best thing about your job?
Some of my coworkers(friends), and the health insurance.

17. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Yes. And someday, I may need it again.

18. If you could have one super power, what would it be?
To be able to function off 4 hrs of sleep a night. I’d be a tremendously productive individual.

19. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
No, there aren’t any around here.

20. Have you ever gone camping?
A few times, but not since I got diabetes.

21. Gas prices - first thought
"Supply and Demand, PEOPLE!!!”

22. Your favorite cartoon character?
Jason- in the “Foxtrot” comic.

23. What was your first car?
A 1989 Pontiac Grand Am.(red)

24. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?

25. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons?
Anything is better then the Simpsons.

26. Do you go to church?
Most of the time, but I’ve been sick a lot recently+ I haven't felt like going.

27. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Nicole J. Baker.

28. What errand/chore do you despise?

29. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
It didn’t go off(A. I don’t have an alarm clock, and B. I temporarily stopped it on my pump)

30 Last time you puked from drinking?
Never, I rarely drink + I don't particuraly relish the thought of getting sick from it.Its one of the few things I'm really mature about.

31. What is your heritage?
32. Favorite flower?

33. Disney or Warner Bros?

34. What is your best childhood memory?
Playing hide and go seek in the neighboring cornfield, without the landlord chasing us out.

35. Your favorite potato chip?
Cheddar-or Sour Cream+ Onion.

36. What is your favorite candy?
Peeps, Candy Corn, and Airheads.

37. Do you burn or tan?
Burn, unfortuantly. I hate my complexion. Why does everyone else on the O.C. tan? (sigh)

38. Astrological sign?

39. Do you own a gun?
No, but I intend to get one someday.'Round these parts,a gun is a necessary accessory, whether or not you actually use it(hunting), it still comes in handy to deter crime.

40. What do you think of hot dogs?
Quick, taste good- what’s not to like?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Random Acts of Irresponsibility

If I didn't hate my job so much, I'd sell my car + live it out in high style, commuting via bicycle(all the essentials of life are within a five mile radius).
But I have dreams that one day, I'll have my RN degree(and my salary will quadruple overnight).Then, maybe I'll meet a rich doctor and he'll sweep me off my feet, support my D habit and everything else...
Cars are just money suckers-mine is no exception. Now Nugget is a fine little car, and I take decent care of her, but tires wear thin + state inspections come due+ weird roaring noises start creeping into the accelerator + you know it's going to be expensive. The tires are taken care of, but I hope I don't run into any town cops before Saturday morning... And yeah, insurance premiums are just around the corner.
Yesterday, I had to have several fillings-they wanted to put a crown on one of them,but I'm holding off on that for now. Namely, because my dental insurance has a lousy $1,000 yearly cap (and dental wise, that does NOT go far).
I checked before the appointment,bolused for 212.(2 units)
Checked 5 minutes after the 3 Novocaine shots-360. Gotta love that Novocaine.(this was about an hr after I'd bolused for the 212)My dentist thought my pump was an MP3 player and I told her there was no way I could be THAT relaxed.
Learned fact- Its impossible to eat/drink anything when one's face is still feeling the effects of Novocaine. If you've ever watched that movie Christmas with the Kranks, you'll know what I'm talking about. (the part where the dad gets a botulism shot and everything dribbles down his chin because he can't eat.)And I was hungry too, didn't wear off till 8 pm. I guess, if one became low(in a situation like that) you'd just have to inject glucogon.
Its shaping up to be a great holiday season for the retail world, sales in Sep.are above average + that means there's lots of work for us. We're deep into the Christmasy stuff with scarves,hats, coats,ornaments, jewelry,games,etc. everywhere. Its not that bad-especially since our supivisor got a big promotion and she'll no longer be our supivisor! (come Monday) HooRAH. Just hope the next one is better.
Today, however, was pretty awful,alot of the people in a certain section were out and I had to help do their job. I'm not Arnold Swartzenegger,+ found it difficult tossing heavy totes/boxes around like they were simply peanuts..Dude, I'm 5'2, 120 lbs-I'm sure some of that stuff weighed more then me! My back hurt,my feet hurt, my head hurt, and I ran into a steel bar(sustaining a nice little bruise on my leg). I couldn't do that all the time. One of the other workers(a big, tall,strapping guy) looked bored the whole time(it wasn't rough on him). Life is not fair.
And I have a grand total of 20 test strips left, gotta go to the Research Center after work tomarrow, or I'll run totally out.(Not advisable, on a weekend, and they give me strips free anyway for the research study.)
What a week this has been!

Sunday, October 01, 2006


If you’ve ever faced a bagful of candy corn/pumpkins at the beginning of a hypoglycemic meltdown, one thing is always perfectly clear. (When the rest of the world is going fuzzy)
It is impossible to eat just 8.5. (15 carbohydrates worth)
I have a bad habit of scarfing down half the bag, especially if it goes down easy(like candy corn). And later, I have to deal with the resulting 300...
So after having two lows yesterday, one of which involved lots of french fries + the other, the bag of candy corn, I’ve decided it would probably be a good idea if I’d mark 15 carb baggies(of candy) to help control my eating habits. I’m less likely to overeat (during lows) if it ain’t in front of me. And plus, if I do still overeat, I’ll have a way to backtrack + give the proper amount of insulin. Works with juice. 15 carbs is nowhere NEAR enough to treat the vast majority of my lows, I usually require 25-30 carbs but if I measure for 15, that can also be a I’m-Not-Quite-Low-But-I-Gotta-Eat-Or-I-Will-Be-In-15-Minutes blood sugar treatment.
Today, I had a mild low,ate two (15 ct.)baggies,and did not spike.(go figure)
Then,after the half the bag low, I went to the annual International Festival, ate Thai food(Chicken Kabobs and some squashy-stringy Kolrabi-carrotty thing drenched in a black, extremely sweet sauce that most definitely was NOT soy sauce) + danced to Kurdish music till the pounding in my head echoed from my hair to my toes. I wasn’t quite sure if it was an insulin reaction or not, but the music ended +I didn’t feel low, so it wasn’t.
There was a pretty big crowd, (watching) and I’m not an extremily outgoing person, but I wanted to dance, so I linked in and danced. A person only gets so many chances in life, to make an idiot out of themselves, + I just had to hope that none of my coworkers were watching. And, it was FUN. (Regardless of any teasing I may encounter later) I’m glad I did it. I walked back to my car, and then drove home. Checked my pump,and the screen was blank.
Blood sugar was 376.
I momentarily freaked out, ready to call the pump company until I discovered my battery cap was missing. Pump was on my wasteband,and the battery was just nested in there,snug as anything sans this most important piece. Battery cap must have been loose and just knocked off at the festival.
In disgust, I disconnected from the pump, shoveled a large amount of insulin via syringe in, and went to bed. I have more battery caps, but I didn't feel like tracking them down,and I sure didn't feel like taking Regular/Lantus backup.
The next morning,waking up feeling even higher,I again shoveled in a correction shot +didn't check. Ate breakfast + bolused when I was sure it was down.
I doubt that I'll ever be nominated for Inspiring PWD of the Year.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

A Diabetes Timeline

It was one of those cute(sy) ADA magazines, with artwork done by(or to) type 2's scattered quite liberally through its pages.
(wait, there's ONE dedicated to a type 1-wow!)
There are some good things in there-things I'd like to get. The 2006 Gift of Hope ornament, for one.
But I'm not expecting any of my dollars to go toward type 1 research, more then likely
it'll go toward type 2. (I realize type 2 needs to be cured too, but the ADA likes its type 2's. The only reason we type 1's get the occasional recognition, is its still diabetes, and sometimes type 2's actually become more like type 1's...(need insulin) Type 2, is definatly more sexy. They can keep coming up with all these new,cool drugs, to blast the insulin resistance back into submission.
Whereas, with type 1, we're limited to plain old insulin...

A Diabetes Timeline
(an excerpt from that magazine-with a few embellishments)

1921 Doctors Banting and Best extract insulin from dog pancreases and use to successfully treat diabetes in dogs. (Nowadays, we do all our experiments on rats/mice,we'd be charged with cruelty to animals if we did it on dogs)
1922- Leonard Thompson, 14, is the first person to be treated with insulin.
1923- Commercial production of insulin begins.
1940- The American Diabetes Association is founded.
1948- The first issue of ADA's "Forecast" rolls off the press.
1949- Insulin is discovered to work like a key,transporting glucose into cells.
1950- Exchange lists for meal planning are developed by the ADA and the other National Food Nazi-ish groups by dividing foods into six groups, or "exchanges", based on the calories, carbohydrates, proteins and fats in each serving.
1950- Lente(type of insulin) comes out.(?)
1953- Tablets for testing urine glucose became widely available, and urine test strips appear over the next few years.
1954- The first successful kidney transplant is performed + dialysis machines really get perfected.(but not for the diabetic,on whom it is considered a "waste".)
1955- Sulfonylureas, oral medications that stimulate the pancreas to produce more insulin, are developed.
1959- Researchers differentiate the type 1's from the type 2's. ( C-peptide test?)
1961- Glucagon, an injectable treatment for hypoglycemia, is developed. (You mean that handy little kit has been in production for that long? Was it always white?(help me out here, long timers)
1964- The first strips for testing blood glucose by color code enter the market.
1966- The first sucessful pancreas transplant is performed.
1970-The first blood glucose meter is developed. Vitrectomy, a surgical procedure to restore sight to those with vitreous hemorrhage and retinal detachment, is first performed.
1971- The American Diabetes Association Gift of Hope program is developed and generates $5,000 its first year.
1973- U100 and syringes are released, to help reduce errors in insulin usage. (standardization)
1974- The National Diabetes Research and Education Act, the first such law in US history, requires the goverment to gather and disseminate diabetes research and information.
1975- Researchers in Scotland detect antibodies to islet cells in people with type 1 diabetes, supporting the idea that type 1 diabetes is caused bya nimmune system attack on pancreotic cells.
1976- Exchange lists are revised to allow for more individualized meal plans to to reflect research showing the need to reduce fat in the diet and not overly restrict carbohydrates.
1977- The Hemoglobin A1c test is devised as a rapid way to test overall blood glucose control over a three month period. (and our lives have never been the same since)
1978- Researchers introduce bacteria to produce Humulin, which is identical to human insulin. Until Humulin became available in 1982, patients relied on insulin from animal pancreases.Researchers achieve normal blood sugar levels in patients using insulin pumps.
1981- Self monitering of blood glucose becomes a standard part of diabetes care.
1984- Diet Mountain Dew hits the shelves, making many former Tab drinkers very, very happy..
1985- A National Eye Institute study shows that diabetic retinopathy can be sucessfully treated with laser photocoagulation.
1987- Three hundred pancreas transplants are performed in the United States.
1988- Blood pressure medications are shown to reduce protein in the urine and slow the progression of kidney disease.
1989- Steel Magnolias,
the movie that EVERY PWD knows and loves, is released.
1993- The Diabetes Complication and Control Trial shows that good blood glucose control can significantly reduce/stop diabetes complications.
1995- Carbohydrate counting is developed.
1996- The Red Cross changes its policy regarding type 1 diabetic donors, they are permitted to give blood(providing they've never taken animal insulin).
1996- Lispro, aka Humalog, is developed and immeadietly becomes vastly preferred to Regular. (although some diabetes clinics continue to use Regular F.O.R.E.V.E.R. longer... I didn't start Humalog, till 2000)
1997- Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes is defined by cause rather, then treatment. The fasting bg needed for diabetes diagnosis is lowered from 140 to 126. Rezulin, which makes muscle cells more sensitive to insulin, enters the market.
1998- Nicole Johnson (now Baker) sweeps diabetes into the national scene, by winning
the Miss America pageaunt. Definatly making diabetes the cool disease of the year.
1998- While (then) President Clinton is expressing his profound sorrows to the American People, one American Citizen has (much)weightier matters to reflect upon + doesn't much feel like reading about his.
2001- Islet transplants are first performed.
2002- The Diabetes Prevention Program trial results are announced, just 30 minutes a day of moderate activity coupled with a 5-10% weight reduction, reduces type 2 diabetes incidence by 58%.
2005- 7%(20.8 million) of the US population has diabetes. Another 41 million are estimated to have pre-diabetes.
2006- The Guardian RT + Dexcom are approved, making a few (lucky) PWD's very happy.