A Shameless Plug for Walmart...

I've finally found a glucose gel that I REALLY like.















I buy alot of ReliOn (Walmart Diabetes) brand stuff anyway, its cheap(er) and just as good as the
popular brands.
-Ketostix(50 ct-$6.87, vs Bayer's $10)
-Sugar Free Tussin-$4.50, vs $6+ other places...
- glucose tabs-cherry,grape, green apple, orange, fruit punch, watermelon, raspberry,and their newest addition..English Toffee
-$7.50 BG poker(it works just as well as those $25 ones-and doesn't scar up your fingers, I was able to draw blood on every finger on the lowest setting. Looks cool too.)

The other great thing about this product is, it's got a carb gauge on the side, and you can see how many carbs you've consumed(5, 10, 15 gram increments)















When it comes to glucose gel products, I've been around the block. The only one I can consume(without gagging) is Paddock Laboratories Lemon Flavored Gel. (but they're expensive) Small honey packets also taste good-but its impossible to find any in the stores. (my source is KFC, when I go there)
Can't stand Insta-Glucose(cherry).
Can't stand Gluco-Burst(Artic Cherry).
Can't stand cake frosting in tubes.(I don't know why, I have no problem with it on cake!)

At the Rescue Squad, we used Insta Glucose. Severely-out-of-it PWD's were miracuously brought back to life with the stuff, and no one (on my observations) ever spat the stuff out. It never got the chance to expire. As a EMT Basic, that was pretty much the extent of my saving-the-PWD's experience. Towards the end of my membership, Basics got the medical-go-ahead from the EMS MD(director) to use glucagon, but I didn't get the chance to do that. (on someone else) Of course, I was the only Basic (even some Intermediate's didn't know how!) who already knew the glucagon protocals frontwords and backwords.
I'd like to go back to EMS, if things ever get less hectic.
Insta Glucose was an excellent motivator to check my bgs REALLY frequently, I did not want to have that stuff shoved down my throat. I had juice/glucose tablets with me at all times. I was considering putting in a request (with the paramedics I knew) to skip the oral glucose and go directly to the IV-D50, but that would have sounded kind of weird, so I never did. Generally, people sit/lie around dazed and confused until the ambulance arrives (half hour or so later), checks their bg, gives them oral glucose + they snap out of it. I either recognize the low- treat sucessfully/unsuccessfully. If successfully, within 30 minutes its generally up. If unsuccessfully, within 15 minutes I'm out cold.(fortuantly, its 99% of the time succesful) No sitting around for me. I don't know how some people can wander around for hours hypo, and not pass out...


I'm glad I found it, I've had some pretty amazing low blood sugars recently. By "amazing", I'm referring to the fact that I can chug down over 100 carbs before my blood sugars break 100. Its kind of odd, I'll have a 200's blood sugar-bolus a unit(just for the heck of it) and proceed to drop 150-200 points. (NOT like me at all, my usual correction ratio is 1/40) It's a nasty spiral when you go high, take a corrective bolus, drop like all get out(low again) and eat even more, its exausting.
I worked today, spent it hanging out in the 200-400 range. Took 3 corrective boluses, none of them worked till after work(when I proceeded to drop like a rock in 1.5 hrs). Thing is, my meter didn't show me severely low, I just feel the need to eat like all get out.
So I drank 80 carbs of Sunny D, ate an ice cream sandwich(32 carbs) and fell into bed(pump off), slept 4 hours. In retrospect, I should have left the pump on, I woke up at 292 again.
Yesterday evening, I was 56-ate glucose gel, an entire Big Mac-medium fries combo (w/added ketchup), only went up to 200. I think something is wrong w/my test strips, they did spend a brief time in the rather Death Valley'ish temps of the confines of my car. I think I'm reading higher then I actually am. I'm not feeling my highs- just lows, and when it reads 80 or lower, I feel it. So I'm thinking its probably 20- 30 points off. 60 or lower, it really doesn't feel like a mild low blood sugar, it feels like a moderate.
I've got test strips coming(mail order), but it'll be a few days(sometime next week, hopefully).
I'm viewing my blood sugar ranges as just approximate(s) right now, its too darn risky to go "by the book". If I aim for my usual (dream!) range of 90-140, in reality, I'm aiming for hypo (or gonna get there pretty quickly) bgs.

Which makes this recent mail freebie pretty sweet.















It's a instant (up to) $25 Rebate on the new NovoNordisk Glucagen Hypokit.
Scans like a credit card, after insurance kicks in.
Which essentially makes my prescription free, if I get it as a one month supply.
All I have to do is convince my endo I need 3 kits in one month (probably not
as difficult as it sounds, due to my recent track record) at my appointment next Friday.

The Notebook

In the beginning, it was just that. Just a plain o'le journal (green cover) chronicalling the day-to-day struggles of a newly diagnosed type 1.
A1c's. Lows. Highs. Conflicts with parents, with doctors, with self esteem (on dates), with growing up. It was a time of great change, of tremendous upheaval.
The Notebook changed too. Stopped being a journal, switched to more inspiring stories, clipped cartoons, other various assundries.
Reality Check became a big part of it.
(LL Lambo-truly a great MAN + my inspiration...)

But it still retained its peculiar (unimaginative)psychodelic nominer.

One day, the last page of The Notebook was filled. It was time to start a new one.

Enter Notebook #2.















This one was much more organized.A section for everything, and everything
in a section.
-Top Tens
- Inspiring articles
- Research News
-Funky Medical
cartoons
-Poems
-Miscellanious

The selection process is long
and tough. Only the best stuff (and believe me, there's plenty of stuff out there to weed from)
makes it into The Notebook. Generally, its printed out half a year before I get the time to cut + tape it in there..

The Notebook chronicles d-care through the years. From fads that didn't go anywhere(the Glucowatch) to stuff that took off running. (The Evolution of Diet Crap- er, Coke- into a gazillion flavors, gazillion $ per year market.) Its kind of interesting to remember how things were back then.(pumps were not so much in vogue)
One day, I'll cut and tape my final entry into The Notebook. (#20, or thereabouts..)
It will be news of The Cure..(and yeah, I still believe in that)

Till then, the Notebook(s) are a vital part of my D-life. A legacy for future generations- stuff that absolutely cannot be forgotten. (Those who do not remember the past, are condemned to repeat it-and all of that) Blogging is great-but that serves an entirely differant emotional (dealing w/D)need. I need both.

Lifestyles of the Not-so-Famous(or Rich!)

Add Patch Adams to the list of movies some PWD's shouldn't watch.

Now "Patch" aka Hunter Adams- is this incredibly funny guy who decides to go into medicine (after a stint (as a patient) in the psychiatric ward). Bear in mind, it was all based off a true story.
2 years later, he enters the Medical College of Virginia (now Virginia Commonwealth University).
As a first year medical student, he isn't permitted patient contact( and has to find a way around that). So when he and a friend mistakenly end up at a meat packers convention, + they see the white jackets- they get the brilliant idea of trying to sneak into hospital rounds wearing those jackets.
And it works, as long as they kept their arms crossed(to avoid showing the packer's logo!)

I watched this right after my Silhoette adventure, and immeadietly regretted it.

"We've got a 30(or thereabouts) yo Juvenile Diabetic w/ gangronous diabetic ulcers," the attending physician
drones on. "Plan?"

"Stabilize the blood sugar, treat with antibiotics, amputation if needed," pipes up one of the entourage.

"Any osteomylitis?" asks another student.

Flash over to patient, lying up in bed, legs akimbo. (Right?I think) leg is this blackish red thing that looks kind of like someone's discarded art project.
She's scared-it's written all over her face.
And I can sure indentify with THAT.

"Does anyone know the patient's name?" Patch pipes up from the back. All eyes turn to him.
"Uh, lets see.." + someone has to check the chart.

Movie never showed what happened to the gal, but as the year was 1971(truly, truly The Dark Age of Diabetes Care) you can guess. Loses leg, maybe gets another infection + dies.

And then there's the guy with pancreotic cancer (that PWD's are at a greater risk of getting, btw) that Patch connects with before he dies.

By the end of the movie, of course, you're crying bucketloads of tears over the fate of Patch's girlfriend + wondering how things could possibly get any worse.
Patch (finally) gets his degree-and it ends with a somewhat happier twist. (with the dream for the Gesundheit Institute).

I just wish there'd have been happier outcomes for the pancreotically challenged patients.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Desperate people do desperate things.















No, I don't drive around w/ posterboard taped to the back of my car, it would probably fall off. It is, however, displayed promenantly for all the world to see. (I live on a pretty busy road) Tried to get some stuff sold off on the radio(weekly "phone yard sale") but the buyer changed his mind. I'M MOVING, PEOPLE- I WANT THIS STUFF OUT OF MY LIFE! (w/some cash on the side)

That's why its called a "Convenience" Store

Happy Birthday, Elliott.

You da man, you're an all- around great singer, son, diabetes advocate, and person. You're also too honest for your own good...

Thought about you today as I drove down the interstate, having clocked in a 95 BG. Suspended for an hour. Reached destination, pumped gas. Realized that I would have to go inside and get something to eat also, I was low + didn't have any tabs (or otherwise) on me. Got a drink. Stood in line, low getting worse. Being the exceptionally honest individual that I am, I couldn't drink it till I payed for it.

The wait feels like forever. I slur out a number + immeadiently wonder if that really was my pump #? But it must be, he is doing it right.Autopilot takes over, I hand the guy my credit card, squiggle a John Hancock across the receipt, grab the juice, drain the juice, and head for the door.

The next thing I know, a paramedic is standing over me, asking if I'm ok. Which I am, now that my blood sugar is a comfortable 202. (juice + glucagon finally kicked in) They want to take me in, but I refuse. Didn't bump my head hard, no concussion, no reason to go in.
I sit up, retrieve my cellphone from the purse. Call a friend to come pick me up, I don't think I should drive home. (actually, the paramedic wouldn't let me) Paramedic sticks around till my friend shows up, + I sign the refusal form, go home.

Thought about you again when I read the above article. Can someone please inform every new PWD that is OK to drink/eat something before you pay for it? No one really wants to have to call 911, after you've passed out.

I really shouldn't be so honest-(shoulda drunk the juice while in line), its more trouble then its worth. Sure I'm not the only OC'r this has happened too.

Surfing the Web

I got lost on the internet today.

I was reading Kerri's latest post, which of course led to Exist Magazine, Patient Consumer Parade, + lastly, Chronic Babe. Darned if that didn't lead to a host of other cool sites (and a bunch of fellow D-bloggers I never knew existed.) In the interest of the moment(ok, hour)
I:
- wondered what would happen if I popped this question to my doc (not that I have an immediate proposals, but it never hurts to be prepared for these things.
- wished like heck I was basking in the Florida sunshine... It didn't work out to go this year, I'm trying NOT to reflect on it too much. (wahhhhhhh) Last year's was really awesome.
- won this baby.. (its too bad it takes 6+ weeks to get here! I need it now, I'm in the process of moving) If you're thinking about winning one of those Chrysler Crossfire Roadsters, forget it. There are people who have been saving points from day 1(and are up in the 7,000 range by now). People who buy boxes of candy direct from the retailer,(for the discount) use the codes, and chuck the chocolate. It is very much a business venture(from their line of thinking). Spend $5,000- get a $15,000+ car.
- checked out ipods on Ebay. (My own ipod has hit the dust, + I need a new one) Served me faithfully for almost 2 years. The price is much better this time around- back then,I thought I was getting a great deal at $175 (for a mini), now its more like $80. I still like mini's, unless someone gives me a vidio ipod I'll get another mini.
- checked out rentals/roommates, found a couple of potential-bil-i-ties that could be investigated.
Sometimes its fun to just go wherever your clickin' mouse takes you. (as long as you don't pick up any nasty viruses)

Summertime Survival Tips

Of course, its hot outside. Even hotter inside...
My brother and SIL tried to help. Came and put in an ac unit last night, in the bedroom. Last night was such a wonderful experience, it actually got COLD in there.
Not that the rest of the house has that problem. Closed all the windows, so the ac coldness wouldn't escape, but the coldness doesn't spread to the rest of the house.
I think my insulin has freakin' spoiled in my pump, its so hot.
(Blood Sugars of the day-337,236,186,418,218, 503.)
Chucked the bottle of insulin, doing a full change.

Kind of odd, because I'm more likely to go low in hot weather. The insulin has got to be bad.
Between the heat and the blood sugar, (fluidwise) I've polished off 5 cans of diet coke, several gallons of ice water, a glass of milk +8 ice pops today.(the last two didn't improve the bg situation but I just wanted something with calories) I feel like I'm about to be diagnosed with diabetes all over again! (hmm, maybe this time it will be type 2.. I'd be a double diabetic!)

To Suck, or not to Suck

Suck is the perfect diabetic adjective. (but I digress, you already knew that.)
















Are you a finger sucker? Or do you always use a tissue?
(Depends on the environment (with me) at home/work, I'll suck it, if in a restaurunt/restroom/public place I won't) I think it would be very
difficult(ie, almost impossible) to get a finger infection from such a practice.
(I'd be more worried about blood borne diseases)
Interestingly, blood tastes the same, with high-normal-or low bgs. You mainly
just taste the salt.

Tales of a Pack Rat

Piles of junk everywhere. I never use this stuff- where did it come from? Pitching it would be so quick and easy.

Ok, so its 9 pm and I just don’t feel like dealing with the contents of multiple boxes piled up helter-skelter on the side porch.

12 VHS copies of films I now own on DVD. A back massager. 10 gazillion candles. No fewer then FIVE drug rep pedometers(compliments of various diabetes events).

I make tough, hard decisions. VHS videos-into the trash can. Candles and back massager? Donated to the Salvation Army, or another thrift store. Drug rep pedometers? (I’ll pick the nicest one-get rid of the rest)
I tried to have a yard sale. ( It was a failure, didn’t have it on the right weekend) I’ve tried to imagine ways to make this junk more palatable to the average bargain-seeker. But I’ve come to the conclusion, even if I put it out with a big FREE sign, it wouldn’t disappear.

6 months after moving in(to my very first dig), its time to move again. The lease is up. (And believe me, I’m ready to go-landlady and I haven’t been getting along too great) Not to mention the fact I could get a decent apartment for half of what I currently shell out. All I have to do?
-Find someplace else and move(lock, stock, and barrel) by August 1
Not an impossible proposition. I have next week off,(vacation) I hope to have a decision made (and be mostly packed) by week’s end.

The foot is back to normal, after getting it checked out by the NP. Warm foot soaks. Multiple (daily) triple antibiotic applications, followed by sterile dressing bandages.
No diabetes, you can’t have my leg- so shove off!
Score one for the over vigilant, OCD type 1.

The NP was less then gracious during the appointment. Something I should mention, this is the NP that diagnosed me + later ended up at the same doc’s office I currently go to. (Talk about bad luck following you around) Perhaps I should feel some sense of overwhelming cowed submission to this person, but I don’t. She is your 80-120, let’s talk about complications at every single appointment type of practitioner. Of course, I try to be polite. (But what can a person REALLY do about these sorts) I appreciate her excellent diagnostic skills, but not her sense of doom and gloom. I generally try to see someone (anyone) else at the office, but she was the only one available this week.

By the end of the appointment, I was an emotional wreck. Wished I could have about half a dozen (strong)drinks, to get out of the depressive mood NP’d put me in.( But I can’t drink, it interacts with a medication I take) So I went home and bawled instead. (That helped too)I’m glad I’ve never had an endo like that. NP has absolutely no idea what managing type 1 is all about.

Blood sugars have been going through a recent spat of a la extroidenare Dawn Phenomenon. Bed time blood sugars: 100-170. By 6 AM, I’m 350-400.
6 units of basal ought to be enough to handle my bgs overnight. My highest basal is during this time anyway-0.5 to 0.7 u/hr. Looks like I’ll have to raise it to 0.7 across the board. I very rarely have middle-of-the-night lows, my liver more then adequately handles the situation. Sometimes I wish it didn't work quite so hard...
By 8 AM, I've got the high down and am swinging in the opposite direction. Temp basal set. Eat snack. Go low. Eat more snacks. Go low again. Eat another snack. Normal at lunch. Spend afternoon high. Crash couch, immeadietly upon getting home from work.
I really gotta fix those basals.

Axims and A1c's

First off, I haven't been to the doc. But I will go. (Monday) This foot thing is somewhat of a puzzle, it doesn't look like anything-I've had paper cuts that looked worse then this. But it hurts(a lot), and its somewhat difficult to ignore pain. So I'm going. (if nothing happens over the course of the weekend that expediates the process)

The next phase of the clinical trial:


This is the Dell Axim(that's been my constant companion for the past 3 months). This is my month to use their(Lifescan's) handy-dandy computer program. (vs the research center's)

The gray bar is for Warnings-which I haven't seen any yet. If you're running very high, or lots of lows, that bar will tell you what you already know. (as in, you might be high or you may be low! so check frequently)
The pink bar is my personal info(study ID #, number of blood sugar entrys)
The light blue bar is my weekly hemoglobin a1c. It automatically updates every Monday. And yes, that's a 9 you see. (shoot me now, if you must)

The BG screen: (bottom blue bar is to backspace w/o doing any entries)

















The purple is the variability index:
















Interpretation- My blood sugars bounce. A LOT. 50-400, throw in a HI, and your vb is totally screwed.
Although, since I started the program,I've had my lowest ever variation(as of last Monday). All the others were uploaded to the computer, from my meter. I am motivated, I am on fire, and the novelty has not yet worn off. I'll be using this program till mid August. Its funny how seeing the numbers on the screen motivates me in a way that paper logs haven't(in quite a while). I want to do better, I want to see a lower variability, and I want that a1c to read 5.0.( hey, I can dream)
Tomarrow morning, I have to go back on Lantus-I've run totally out of pump supplies(and the paperwork got lost at the endo's office). The endo's been on vacation, busy, etc. (I dropped this off 3 weeks ago) Her secretary told me to refax it Monday morning, and she'd take care of it(including endo's signature)ASAP AND the endo called me this evening, but its inevitable, I'll be on Lantus (at least the weekend). If I can manage to bum a few sets/resevoirs off the CDE, (Monday) I can go back to pumping.
I love my pump, its so hard to do this. (screw endos)

The Fifth of July

Yesterday evening, I stepped on a Silhoette (infusion set) needle. It snapped off- into the skin. Fortuantly, it was longways (not a straight up/down impalement). Got some tweezers + pulled that sucker out. Smothered sore spot in triple antibiotic ointment, put a bandage on it.
And watched it.

This morning, it started to throb. Minimal swelling, but painful. I'm not stupid, I know certain things you just do not fool around with. I've excellent circulation, but by virtue of being D that doesn't count for much. If the pain doesn't decrease in the next couple of days, I'll get it checked out. This makes the first time a needle has actually broken off into the skin=usually it just bounces off, once it hits the "OWWWW" trigger. I hope nothings still in there.

At lunchtime today, I discovered I was out of strips, and by quitting time, my pump resevoir had 2.5 units left. Which was promptly used up to treat the 287(when I got home and checked).
The site also looks pretty horrible, so it'll be a full change-out tonight.

I just want to sleep. (not cook, not clean, not take care of D stuff)

Multiples of Five

Drumroll, puhleaze.....

Today, after 4 years, 8 months, and x number of days- I graduated from a turqoise star to a PURPLE star on Ebay. Its been 3 years since my last star color change, I don't amass feedback very quickly. Still, I'm glad it didn't take me 5 years to get this!
500 feedback!:-) (it feels nice to be so appriciated by the Ebay community) Not that I haven't had the occasional scuffle with the occasional deadbeat-but I make sure I uphold my end of the bargain(buying, or selling) + my 100% positive feedback speaks for itself.
The next color change comes at 1000 feedback(Red). At that point, I can kick up my heels, relax, and stop worrying about it, because I'll be on that for the rest of my life.(Red goes to 5,000 feedback!)

This week, I've managed to somehow simultaniously delete my entire(700+ song) Itunes library AND lose my ipod. I am sure I could restore my library to my computer, if I could manage to find the ipod. I will tear the house apart if I have to, I can't accept that its gone(or stolen). I need my ipod like I need my pump-its indespensible.

This week, we've also managed to get rid of two supivisors- one to retirement, the other to a 3 week vacation on the sunny Medaterranean. If I had my way, I'd retire 'em BOTH, but one must take what one can get sometimes. Our replacement supivisor is a very nice person-work is going to be like a mini-vacation for everyone else too! We have tomarrow off(5 day weekend) and we'll work Sat. 8 hours. Nobody is wild with joy about that, but we'll survive. Worst thing is, they won't let anyone take Monday as a paid holiday(or vacation) so we'll work Sat. AND lose out on a day's pay. Not cool.

I've been thinking of making my own frio pouch-if I could just find that gel-lish stuff(in suitable quantity to sew together). Walmart sells these Aqua Cool neck bands that are obviously made of the same stuff, but I can't see how I'd make a pouch out of it. There's got to be a good source of it out there-I'll bet Frio makes tons of money off their pouches. (And they only last me 1 summer, I have to get a new one every year) Plus, handmade items are much more personal + specializeable to one's own exotic tastes.

My neighbors have been setting off firecrackers all weekend- not the illegal stuff(it doesn't even clear the fence) but of more-then-sufficient noise making ability.
"Wistlin' Dixie" never sounded so bad, I'm sure its cleared off every Yankee for miles. Probably even some dyed-in-the-wool-lived-here-all-my-life Rebs as well...
Eey-yah, very glad I'll be gone till late on the 4th!

Another Lesson in Diabetes 101

The human body is really, really amazing.
(No really, just keep reading)

The not-quite-right feeling hits me around 10 am. Am I dropping? No, I'm 153, its a long drop
to Hypoland. But just to be sure, I swig down half a bottle of juice, put the pump on suspend.


10:40 AM- I check again, this time I'm 100. Really unexpected. Commence to finishing juice, eat
a sucker as backup.

11:40 AM- Low # 3,599 strikes full force, right between the eyeballs. I am dizzy, shaky and out of juice. So I eat a York bar(32 carbs) and a butterscotch(8 carbs) knowing it won't work as fast as juice, but hey, its better then nothing...

12:10 AM- Low feelings dissapate, leaving in their place a RAGING hunger. It is not a "low" hunger, it is a concentration-camp-haven't-eaten-for-a-week hunger. Fortuantly, its lunchtime,
so I trot off to the cafeteria + rapidly consume:
-1 packet Hot Pockets
-a banana
-crackers 'n cheese
- medium sized bag of Cheetos
-another chocolate bar
-20 oz Diet Coke

4 PM- Finally up( at 396), I bolus 6 units + leave work.

5:30 PM- The feeling strikes again, the meter reads a cranky 123.
-pb sandwich
-mountain of mac 'n cheese(leftovers night)
-mountain of baked beans
-baked chicken wing
-V8 drink
I'm amazed at my body's ability to consume vast amounts of food, (and not gain any weight, its like my metabolism speeds up) and I'm amazed at the hunger. (where that came from, I couldn't say, this is not PMS week) Is it from dropping-or do I just need it?
------------------------------------------------------------
It looks like there may be another "low" streak in the works. According to the endo,
such experiences are likely due to non-ovulatory vs ovulatory cycles (because it always begins
as menses is ending, a couple of times a year). Thrilled me to death to learn that its completely unpredictable as well, there's some sort of basal temp testing you can do(to learn what type of cycle it is, I assume) but there's no "fixing" it. (everything makes you low)
Guys have it EASY, they don't have hormones playing havoc with their blood sugars every month (And pregnancy) till menopause!
-----
And speaking of food, our town's 4th of July 3rd annual Hotdog Contest is coming up.
This is a horrible experience for a D to partake in...but I had the burning desire NOT to let
anything, including the D, stand in my way. I was in the first one(missed it last year)
-12 contestants(10 guys, 2 girls)
-12 long hotdogs PER contestant (buns included)
-1 gallon pitcher of water to wash hotdogs down.
-4.5 minutes on the first round.

2 minutes into the round, I'd just finished my 3rd hotdog + starting to feel the effects( knew I'd never win the thing). 2.5 minutes and 2 hotdogs later, my stomach was rebelling + I was actually glad I'd lost the contest. (although I did beat out 6 big, hunky guys!)
My prize?
-a quart of ice cream (took it home)
-a though dislike of hotdogs for the next 6 months
-the look on my mother's face when she found out what I'd done
- the 300 range numbers that graced my meter for several hours later
- a yellowish-red-water-soaked tshirt to take home and wash
- no one even GUESSING that this 5"2 gal had D..
The winner chugged down 12 hotdogs (in 3 rounds).
Tres impressive.
(I'm going for 6 this year)

When the Lights Went Out

Pitch Black.

Can't-see-your-hand-in-front-of-your-face-black.

Scary Black.

Not-gonna-move-till-they-fix-the-lights-especially-if-I'm-in-the-john-black.

Is this a retinal detachment?!?

A blood curdling yell pierces the darkness, keenly sharpening my already on edge nerves.

"Lucy must be playing with the electrical system again," a nearby coworker dryly observes.

I grin, yet I'm relieved that its not just me." Think so?"

"Absolutely."

I lift my head back and yell like the best of them.

It feels good, this oppurtunity to yell out my

frustration (at a world in general) doesn't come around much.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeehhaaaaa!"

"Geez, Heidi, it's not a vacation, don't get so worked up." (This from a person who hasn't gotten excited in something for over 20 years...)

There it goes, I feel better already. Maybe, just maybe, I'll make it through the rest of the working
week.
"Don't blame Lucy for everything," another coworker chimes in. "Might just be a bad thunderstorm."
The main overhead lights flicker briefly.
And die, yet again.
"Nice going," coworker #1 grumbles. "Ticked her off."
"Nah, Lucy is a NICE ghost," coworker#2 retorts. "Wouldn't hurt a flea."
" Yeah? Maybe not HERE, but what about back then? Must've been some reason they did
away with her."
"Hey you guys," I cut in, "It doesn't matter. Just be glad for the break, it would suit me fine
if the lights NEVER came on."
"Yep, then they'd issue flashlights and make us do it in the dark. Wouldn't that be fun?"
Sunlight streams in from a distant open window.
"Oh darn, its not raining- its gotta be Lucy then."
15 minutes later, backup generators cut lights on.
Breaktime's over, folks.
Long ago, our Distrobution Center was an Indian burial ground. In the 1850's, supposidly an Indian princess was buried alive(at said site) and has haunted
this place ever since. We get the occasional power failure (weird, unexplaned ones) several times a year but its been a long time since anyone has claimed seeing "our" ghost. I wouldn't
know if "Lucy" actually is real, the one person I knew who claimed to have seen her has since
quit. (Lucy is a pretty shy ghost, apparently)
We should give tours at Halloween.(if nothing else, it'll scare the kiddies senseless, which is
the general idea of that holiday)

8 Cool Things I've done in my life

8 seems so, insignificant, but that's all the years I've had diabetes. (Counting the Summer from
Heck) Circa Kassie's Cool Meme, here is mine:

1. Was born (1981) just after midnight, in a small hospital in Western Virginia- the same hospital my grandmother(1911) and mom (1951) were born in. (continuing the grand tradition)
I was small, (a preemie) I was ugly, and I had the biggest head the doctor had ever seen. After running multiple tests on me, they concluded I'd just inherited my
father's big head. Eventually, the rest of my body caught up,(in porportion) but I'm still big headed about some stuff. (I like to think its all brains)
2. From 1986-88, we lived in Jackson, MS. Very differant from Virginia, it only snowed once
(about enough for a snowball) and ice storms were frequent. When the tornado sirens would go
off, my "spot to hide" was in the bathroom closet dirty clothes hamper. (not very pleasant smelling) Fortuantly, the tornados never struck anywhere close.
3. Participated in multiple sports( soccer,tennis basketball, table tennis, baseball, rollarblade hockey)
all my life... (and only broke a kneecap, once)
4. Got my first "real" job at a daycare center, stayed at that job 1.5 years.(Summer '99)
5. Got my permanant job, (in retail) after finishing HS. (Sep. 2000)
6. August 2000 to present- have given blood 29 times.
7. May 2001- Got an article published in the ADA's "Diabetes Forecast." (Reflections)
8. Jan. 2006- Moved out(on my own). Discovered more of what life in the real world is all
about. Still trying to get myself better organized, which may take awhile (before the love of my life sweeps me away to Paradise, I need to reform my act). How did my parents ever manage this? D just makes me more unorganized..
That's my life in a nutshell. Of course, I've done more then this- just can't list it all!
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Yesterday I discovered TWO of my 100 ct. boxes of test strips had expiration dates of 4/06.
Darn. So the question arises, do I use them? I got a refill last month, I'm pretty sure that Caremark sent them (I have alot of test strips floating around at the moment) but I removed the labels and (thus) the proof. I'm sure they won't want to replace them. So it looks like I'll have to use 'em up(quickly)....and put aside the box I'm currently working on.

Weave Me the Sunshine

Why?

Why do people go jogging in the dead of night, with absolutely NO reflective clothing/gear
on...

Why do some folks take a siesta (right in the middle of a 4-way intersection) so they'll be assured
of getting their left handed turn (while the rest of us are forced to wait for them?)

Why are there male gynocologists? (Enough said, you might love yours, but I find it hard connecting to a doc whose never PMS'd in their lives)

Why is the carb count on sugared cereal NEVER right?

Why do some folks just keep reproducing (and mistreat the ones they've got) while others spend tens of thousands to be able to adapt just one child off the streets? Why is it so hard
to adopt?

Why is a cure always "Five Years" away?

Why does a fresh crop of bills always arrive in your mail box right after you pay off the old ones?

Why is so hard to change an a1c?

Why does it always rain a monsoon the weekend the lawn needs mowing/trimming?

Why do pumps always die on holiday weekends?

Why do people park in TWO parking spaces....

Why do people feel the need to eat themselves sick at buffets? (myself included)

Why do very fat people only have to pay for one seat on airplanes, when they take up 2-3?

Why is the genetics of diabetes so tricky- antibodies may increase the risk, but no one will
predict when you'll get it.

Why does that fancy Lamborgini Contash (at work) always park so close to you you're afraid to breathe when you get out of the car- you don't want to hurt it...you don't have that kind of insurance..

Why is it impossible to totally defrost the windshield of your car on a cold, frosty morning-
and you're forced to drive to work with it half-done, you're fortuante not to get in late(or have an accident)

Why do test strips work their way into so many odd places?

C- Day (x 7)

C-Day

The setting is an Ophthalmologist’s office.

Act 1.

Resident: I’m afraid you need surgery- it’s the only thing that might help, no guarantees. We can’t visualize the retina, so its unclear if there might be more problems, but its worth a shot. Since you’re underage- it’s the guardian’s decision. What do you think?

Patient: (looking over at parent) Uh, Mom?

Mother of Patient: (slowly) Ok. When can you do it?

Resident: We’ll set it up pretty quick-as it’s an emergency. Ever had surgery before?

Patient: No.

Resident: We generally use general anesthetic for all our younger patients so they don’t freak out. Elderly folks don’t get as upset with people digging around in their eyes, so we use local with them. But it’ll be fine. We’ll stage them two weeks apart, so if there’s an infection or other prob with one it won’t spread to the other eye. Let me read you the risks.

(long list of rare risks)

Any questions?

Patient: No. I’m totally freaked out about everything now, I’m scared to death.

Senior Purple-Shirted Resident:
Hey, you’ll be ok. Most people come through this with flying colors. I’ll be doing your surgery.

Patient: Ok.

Act 2.

Scene: PreOp room- June 10, 1999.

Patient: Uh, Nurse? I think I’m low, could you check my bg please?

Nurse: Oh, I forgot about that. Let’s check you.

Nurse: You’re 349.
Patient: (feeling stupid) Ah. Most defiantly NOT low. I cut my Lente in half this morning like I was supposed too.. now I'm high.

Nurse: I’ll get dosing instructions.

30 minutes later.

Nurse: We’ll give you 5 units of Regular through your IV.

20 minutes later.

Anesthesiologist: Well, since you have no more questions- we’re ready to roll! Leaves room.

Orderly: Hi, I’m ready to take you over to the OR.

Patient climbs off bed.

Patient: Uh, you’ll have to lead the way, I can’t see squat.

Orderly: No problem. I’ll also take care of your IV bag- looks like you’re having some problems managing all this paraphernalia.

Patient: Yeah, and if I make it there without this size XXXXL gown falling off it’ll be a wonder.

Orderly: Here, take a blanket.

Wrap Self in blanket.

Patient: Thanks a lot.

Act 3.
Arrive at OR. Climb up on gurney, gown falls halfway off. Feel self-conscious all over again- as the only people you can hear are of the opposite sex…

Senior Resident: Hey there! How are you doing?

Patient: (knees knocking, teeth chattering, heart thumping away) I’m freezing.

Anesthesiologist: Let’s get another blanket-EKG, pulse ox on her..

Resident: So what are you doing this summer?

Patient: Well, I was studying for the ACT-before this happened. I don’t think I’ll be able to take the test this month-it’s in two days.

Resident: It’s ok-you’ll do fine when you take it.

Attending Supervising Physician: Are we ready?

Anesthesiologist: I’m just going to give you something to relax, you’ll breathe deeply and then you’ll wake up in the recovery room. Here we go…

Patient: (thinking) Maybe this is my last five seconds on earth.

Uncomfortable cramping sensation in legs, shift up.

Act 4

Recovery Room.

The sound of coughing.

Nurses Voice: Are you ok? (Worried)
Patient: Cough some more phlegm. Me? Opens eyes. Yeah, ME! (estatic) I’m alive!

Nurse: Um, yes you are. How do you feel?

Patient: Tired.

Nurse: We’ll let you sleep a bit longer before you go home. The surgery was successful.

Patient: Thanks.(falling back asleep in 2.5 seconds)

Act 5.

Opthamologist’s office-the next day.

Senior Resident: Let’s peel off your eye patch now, see how that eye is doing.

Takes off eye patch.

Eye promptly fills with water. Irratation- or tears of joy? I can see the resident, I can see the eye chart, I can see everything. I’d kiss the resident, but that’s probably a no-no.
Senior Resident(after through exam): It's doing great, we can probably do the other one in two weeks.

June 24- Second surgery also goes off without a hitch.
Closing Scene: Patient resolves to take better care of diabetes- heck, maybe even get one of those new-fangled pumps...All joking aside, the gift of sight does make one's life infanintly more fufilling.
------------------------------------------
Ah, Kansas. Had a good time, but its not exactly a popular tourist spot. My boyfriend's folks were nice(the hugging type, but nice) and I survived the multiple family reunions, graveyards, hot muggy nights(hotel ac's didn't work half the time) and limited internet access. (the hardest part) The only reason people go to Kansas(if they don't already reside there) is probably for family reunions. I can see why Dorothy wanted to get out of there(in the first place)

I exibited the patience of Job and didn't eat a single unhealthy dessert, it is quite impossible to explain (to some folks, older ones in particular) the fine details of carb counting/etc. Its hard enough to explain it to my boyfriend, ((what I can/can't eat at certain times) I probably should send him a copy of some basic Diabetes 101 books. Like Understanding Insulin Dependant Diabetes by Peter Chase,MD. I'm not going to marry someone who constantly rides me about my "diet." Everything I eat, I try to cover appropriately with insulin. If his elderly relations do it to some degree thats ok(one only has to go through that 1-2 x a year)
-----------------------------------
And when I got home, THIS is waiting for me:

Season 6! (Took 3 weeks to arrive from Australia)

(it really does rock, Caro)

I believe I Could Fly!

Given the price of gasoline,this might be a cheaper alternative. (At least, you'll make someone's
day. "Hey look, Honey- there's another whacko in the neighberhood!")

Tomarrow, its off to Kansas (boyfriend's family reunion, meeting the parents, etc.) I might just wish I could fly (home)- friends assure me that its much better to do all this PRE-anything-remotely-serious.


(The Family Reunion...)



I'm just not ready. (In addition to displaying Rarius Extremius Maturius over the course of a 5-day weekend, I'll probably have to answer zillions of questions regarding diabetes, not precisely my favorite thing to do. My family is bad enough-what if his is WORSE?)

Aughhhhhhhhhhhh.

A Day in the Life of an Physician

The Story of an Ivy League Doctor
AKA...
(academia disenchantment from the patient perspective)

When I was 18, I went to Yale

Praying the whole time that I wouldn’t fail

For my father is a surgeon, and my mother into psych

I’ve been programmed from the very start what I was gonna like.

Well, I worked very hard and I kept my nose clean

Kept busy in anatomy with hearts and eyes and spleens.

I knew that I could I do it- I knew most everything

And I graduated Mag.Cum Laude to get my classes’ ring.

On graduation day, my very first stop

Was a very exclusive clothing shop

They monogrammed my jackets, and pressed my silk screened tie

And off I promptly went to (3 letter medical school acronym) to apply.

My first official night on call, it truly was a blast

Wracked up twenty-two admissions and an old friend from my past

My resident smokes pot, and I really gotta go

There’s just too much to this doctoring I doubt I’ll ever know.

I kept my eyes open, and I kept my mouth shut

As I learn all the hospital scuttlebutt

I learned who has got the hots for whom

And the nurses hate the techies in the Operating Room.

Derm was pretty gross, saw a Basal Carcinoma

To me, it was anything BUT a Fascinoma

Is it Lyme, or Leprosy, its quite hard to tell

One thing is very certain, though- the patient is not well.

Now its off to Endocrine, the type 2's in denial

Are making it quite difficult to keep my pasted smile

The type 1's need new kidneys- theirs are fully shot

Cuz each was diagnosed with D, a diaper-wearing tot.

Let’s go to Ob-gyn, see some cute, small preemies

Is that a sudden gush of blood that’s making me feel squeemy?

Birth is very wonderful, but sick kids sure do holler

I think I’ll find some other way to make my daily dollar.

Cardio was fun, but as I walked through the door

Old ladies had M. I.’s- man, they all hit the floor

The CCU was full, the chiefs said go away

I lasted one full hour on that sunny day in May.

So where’s my special niche- maybe its in psyche

As I’ve been saying all long, as just a little tyke

My mother gave me therapy, I’ll feel your deepest pains

There isn’t anything, in front of me, for you to be ashamed.

But I think I’ll be a cancer doc- play hard life and death

As the patients look in fear to me, when they can’t catch their breath

I’ll supervise the interns, and attend the M and M’s,

All the time while acting that I CARE about them!

Now I have a fancy office on the very first floor

And the patients come from all around, because they need to hear more

The world, it does my bidding, not the other way around

Those nights spent sobbing in the bathroom seem such a distant sound.

( But there’s more to this sad tale

Then my pen can ever tell

Cuz when you’ve passed, and come up top

And really think that you’ve arrived- 360 to the stop

All of life comes down to this- we all must make the choices

But I am here to tell you, that bigger bucks, and razor red Rolls Royces

Will not stop the clock from slamming down your own blunt coffin nail.)

So be sensitive to your patient's needs.

All Work and No Play....

Gluco-Burst (Artic Cherry)gel is good stuff. Layed in a goodly supply(Krogers had a half off sale), along with various other D supplies. I also purchased 10 candy bars, which no doubt looked pretty weird to the cashier-but hey, its my money.

The blood sugars are doing much better (disaster averted). Still, I've had 4 numbers (this week) below 140, and one of them was a 36. Not a very number-friendly week.

And tomarrow? Tomarrow, I take my logbook to get my diabetes control anylized to the nth degree (by the CDE) Control is not remotely possible, neither is an a1c under 7. Not without a miracle (or continous glucose moniter). I have great hopes that they'll be available soon- one way or the other.(Either I convince the insurance company, or pay out of pocket for it myself) Its more of a war zone out there- and I'm glad some days just to have survived. Every day lived successfully with diabetes, no wonder WHAT actually transpired, is a cause for celebration. Kicked it in the rear once again. My SIL (as a cardiac nurse) sees many young PWD's up on her floor.(making the connection that they took rotten care of themselves) 30 years later, though, if you get cardiac complications who can really say its because of that? D-care has changed so much over the years, and I think I'd be very glad to see my 47th birthday,even if I had cardiac problems. Other things, (like genetics and smoking) count very strongly too. How many of those young PWD's also smoke? (quite a few, probably) Its not just diabetes thats a serious risk factor,but its always the biggie.(one that people look at)

Some bright individual hacked into my Ebay account+ listed a fraudulent item, putting their original email address in the auction listing so people would contact them directly. My regular email was immeadiently flooded with Me-Me-Me (Sell to me) offers for this high-priced Super Deal.
I promptly changed every concievable password, alerted Ebay, and closed down the listing, taking steps to secure my account. And then I emailed the would-be seller(in the hopes that I could get his reg.address + track him down). He didn't spring for the idea, informing me that he could only accept bank-to-bank transfers. I'm kind of dissapointed that he didn't take the bait, I'd like this guy to spend the next 15 years in jail. I'll think of something. I'm not stupid, and he obviously isn't either... I had the strong urge to tell him precisely what I thought of him, but that would be the last I'd see of him.

Thank goodness for a LONG weekend, I'm so glad this week is over. I intend to pamper myself to the gills, my initiary includes:
Friday- CDE appt, lunch at Golden Corral(buffet), shopping trip(Old Navy, Rite Aid, Bath and Body, wherever else), library, reg. doc appointment.
Sat.- Free meal at Chick-Fil-A,(breakfast) see Baltimore (Orioles'?) baseball game with b-friend...do some more clothes shopping on trip back. This weekend is 20% OFF weekend for all TJX employees, so I should be able to get some great clothing deals.
Sunday- Sleep.
Monday-Sleep.
Tuesday-Who knows, who cares-I'm lovin' it.
Wednesday-Back to work.

One Sunday Morning

Its 1:14 AM, my blood sugar is in the upper stratisphere(200-400) and it WON'T COME DOWN. I can't sleep (as the ketones bounce along with the bg, turning my stomach to mush + my throat into a second Sahara). I want to puke(but can't, it takes more then DKA to make me puke).
This has been going on approximently 13.5 hours. I've taken 4 extra shots of Novolog, to get the blood sugar +ketones down + I am now 205, small ketones.
The reason for this "bad D trip"? Extreme stupidity (on my part), I should have never gotten
a naval piercing. (May my mother NEVER read this blog) Funny how many sets I've gone through and never had one, now this. Suffice to say, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots(infection=high blood sugars)
It might be true, D's are more prone to infections of this sort, but I didn't exactly take stellar care of the piercing. Regardless, I've changed my mind about having one- I want it out and healed up, navals can take up to a year to completely heal. The next time I decide to get a piercing, I'll just get a second set in the ears...(safer territory)
Next step=doubl(ing) of basal. I should probably call the intern on call, as thrilled as that will make him/her. I need an antibiotic + to clear up this situation but I'd rather wait till Monday to see the doc, if at all possible. Not possible, if the ketone situation doesn't get any better.
Stupid diabetes. (highs make me cranky as heck, in case its not immeadiently obvious)