The Week Before Christmas

Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the state
There were babes being born (both early, and late).

And I had just rolled, on my side, for a snooze
When my nose was soon greeted, by the strong smell of booze

For Santa was here, and cocoa n’ eggnog
Was not his forte’…from the strong whiff of grog.

I groaned, and I waddled, to the window, real slow
I guessed that I couldn’t avoid seeing this show.

And there, was St. Nick, all rosy with glee
He slurped, and he burped, and looked straight at me.

“Hey honey, I’ve brought you a bouncing bundle o’ joy
Today is the day for your baby boy!”

The contractions were strong, & it made me afraid
That this day in the books, a birth would be made.

“All I want for Christmas is just 14 (+) more days
I must decline, and request, that you put in a raise.”

Old Santa was miffed, as he’d wasted his time
On a house in the boonies, on the public dime

He sighed, and he climbed back into his old sleigh
His agenda had most clearly been upset that day

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out at quite the rate
“Next time, I’ll make sure, to double-check the date!”