Heidi's Top Ten Cooking Rules

(not in order of importance)

1. The sweet and the salty SHALL NOT MIX. (As separately identifiable in the same dish)Celery does not belong in a Waldorf Salad, if it's going to be a fruit salad,do it heavy fruit style & if it's gonna be a Chex type deal break out those pretzel sticks & ranch dips. Chocolate covered pretzels don't really rock my taste buds either, though I can tolerate one or two. That's one of the weird food intolerances I have.

2. Splenda-cize as much as possible,it will cut down on those empty calories.

3. Diet Coke goes with everything,& the best thing is not having to figure out "Red or White?" because it comes in one color,black.

4. If it's dry,wet it.If it's wet,dry it, & if it's perfect..it didn't come from my kitchen!

5. Burned items seem to have fewer carbohydrates,& extremely burned items are bolus free.

6. Spaghetti, like pump tubing,tends to cling to everything it's not supposed to. I want to eat the Spaghetti, not decorate the strainer with it.

7. Fried insulin really doesn't smell the same as fried eggs.

8. If all else fails, drown it in ketchup.

9. Rubber(processed) cheese is one of the most digesting things on the planet,& who cares if it's fat-free. Who actually likes it?

10. Cooking apps totally rock..if you can manage to avoid drowning your $$$.$$ phone in a buttery grave. Do not place phone near the mixing bowl!
(what else would you add to this list?)

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