Another Piece of History

Diabetes Gettysburg Address..(thought about it when I read this.)

Four score and four years ago, our Canadian brethren brought forth, on this continent, a new medication, conceived in ingenuity, and dedicated to the novel idea that billions should not die.

Now, we are engaged in a great global war of chronic disease- testing whether, a group of diabetics, we can long endure. (With toes and teeth intact) We are met on a battlefield of that war- the field of research. We have come to dedicate a portion of ourselves, to eradication of that dread disease, that sucked the last breath from their dying lips. It is altogether proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate-we cannot consecrate- we cannot ever do enough. The brave individuals, living and dead, who have struggled (and continue to struggle) consecrate it far beyond our poor power to add or detract. Rather, it is for us, the living, to be dedicated to this last remaining task- that from these pitied dead we take increased devotion toward ending diabetes- that we here resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this planet shall have a new birth of freedom, and that this disease, of, for, and by the people- shall rapidly perish from this earth.

Have a great 4th, everyone. We enjoy so many freedoms, and the "life" (in the life,liberty, and the pursuit of happiness) part is a biggie(one that PWD's, prior to insulin, did not have).

Dreaming with the Dexcom

I've had plenty of diabetes dreams, and I've had lucid dreams (something I never knew other people experienced too, until I took psych). Never had a diabetic lucid dream although this one kind of came close. I always thought my dreams lasted for about a millisecond and the seemingly endless high or low were just exaggerations. But my textbook, informed me that dreams unfold in real-time. I didn't think it was possible to have a low lasting over 30 minutes without A. waking up or B. going into seizure. Dexcom has proved me wrong.(apparently, I do have a glucose producing liver at moments when it actually counts)

I think it would be kind of neat to be dreaming about a low or high(which translate into feeling hungry and thirsty, in the dream) and see how low or high I actually am, and for how long. (corresponding time chunk) Not that difficult, because if I wake up suddenly, most of the time I remember my dreams. Lucid dreaming is pretty hard/rare though, you can't just decide to do it. (dumb luck)I may know that I have diabetes in my dream, but not that eating or drinking will not cure my symptoms.So I'm merrily eating mountains of pancakes or drinking gallons of water and it isn't doing any good at all.(till I wake up) I don't know if wild bg variations make for more nightmares, probably not, I've always dreamed alot. The problem with using the Dexcom to track this is the Dex has a tendency to shriek/vibrate its head off anytime you're outside of the range so you really don't get a chance to wake up naturally from the dream. And there are certain safety features(under 55, over 400?) that even if you have the alarms off those safety alarms will still boot in.

Sometimes I turn the fan on high and put the dexcom under the bed so it won't wake me up but it will still read. For the most part, I have good internal cues to wake up when low but its not always right away. The dexcom will wake anyone up,(usually I put it under my pillow) but deciding whether to treat that (usually) high is another story altogether. It's best to be very, very conservative at an hour where you're so exhausted that a low is the last thing you need. Bottom line, I'm grateful for the chance to correct the situation before it gets out of hand..even if it does wake me up all night long some nights.

Are We There Yet?

I'm rather exhausted, the D-care well reflects that. Cannot wait till Wed..the grand final exam in psych and being free, free, free for the next 6 weeks. In the meantime, I have a quiz tonight(quizzes twice a week do not make for happy students) and a paper to improve upon. I think I'm just stuffing info into my brain just to have it come right back out the other side, I hardly remember the stuff we studied at the beginning of class. I do not have high hopes for this final,but I hope at least for a B.

Lately, the evening entertainment has been a grand post-supper drop-a-thon, usually with still 1-2 units onboard. So I treat with junkfood and 30 minutes later I'm 40-60 and diving into the tabs/juice. A couple hours after that, it spikes, drops, spikes, drops all on its own. Overnight basal rates would take hourly checks to figure out, and I'm too tired for that. Whoever thinks that an overnight blood sugar(with the proper basal rates) is largely a creature of containment is sadly mistaken. Went to bed 120, woke up 144 but during that time I spiked to mid 200's twice, spent an hour near 70, another hour near 80-90, finally evening out to 140's.(which I woke up to) That's gonna take some time to figure out.
I gotta get back in the game, stop eating junkfood/exercise more. Maybe when this class ends.

Weeding out the Wardrobe

It's a sad fact that approximately 3/4 of my casual shirts collection is diabetes themed.

-4 FFL tshirts, emblazoned with the names of every major D sponsor out there.
-2 JDRF walk tshirts, again, emblazoned with the names of D sponsors.
-A blue "MiniMed" shirt, lettering in white. Not overtly screaming the "hey, I'm
diabetic!" label (most people don't know what Minimed was) but still diabetes
themed.
-A weird pump pack shirt, from back in the Minimed days.
- A "I run on Insulin" tshirt.
- A "Test, Don't Guess" D-Life promo tshirt.
It's safe to say, that I'll be acquiring several more next more(at the upcoming FFL conference). I never set out to be the diabetic billboard child but I guess at least some of the time, I am. (I do wear some of them out in public) I can't just throw them out, they're perfectly good shirts.(not until they wear out) Sometimes I wish they would though, so I could have a more "normal" wardrobe.
I do like this one though..

(from CafePress)

Can't get away from the D..it will haunt you just opening up your dresser drawer!

My "Twin" Blog

For some reason, when I typed in my blog url this morning it kept bringing me here... Eventually, I had to backtrack through someone else's blog roll.(to get here)

Extremely weird, I was under the impression Blogger doesn't recycle url's. But its almost the exact same one(minus the www).
10:17 am, and I feel the need for a strong drink coming on. Too, too weird.

The Case of the Serial Coke Spiller

Dear Abby,

I have a re-occurant problem, I spill my diet coke everywhere. It's not limited to just 12 oz cans either- today, I dumped an entire liter all over the floor in CVS, inconveniencing the shoppers/staff as the river was being dealt with. In the past, I've also dumped my can all over the doctor's office exam room carpet(instantly invoking the executive decision by the doctor to never again let patients and their drinks, into the exam room). I just can't stop drinking my diet coke, please help!!!!

Hopelessly Addicted & Clumsy


Dear Addicted,

You're not alone, others are just as, or more, uncoordinated then you are. I'd suggest duct-taping a sippy cup when you're out in public, and NEVER unscrewing it.(until you've finished) In the meantime, you may want to consider getting help for your diet coke addiction-it's very unhealthy + with the amount of caffeine you're scruffing on a regular basis, it's not wonder you've got the dexterity of a two year old.

Abby

Meme Mosaic

My creation, originally uploaded by type1emt.

Didn't realize I was posting a very offensive picture, it was the first picture of Heidi Klum that I came across. My apologies, to anyone that I have offended, I didn't mean to.

More Notes from Psych Class

Overheard:

Professor: And in anorexia nervosa, the individual slowly wastes away until they-??

Student: Disappear?

I think the entire class cut loose on that one. Though in a sense that's correct, there's not much left of the individual even if they don't die. Diabetes and several other chronic diseases that make losing weight dangerously easy are powerful weapons, one that most physicians will never know about because even if you don't have diabulemia + to the best of your ability try to do it right, highs and elevated a1cs plague most of us.(so health care professionals can only guess) Unless the individual is made (self) aware of/gets help for their disorder things won't go very well for them.(even worse then normal eating disorders)

On Board Air Force One

For real. Maslow would call it a peak experience, and I heartily agree(it's not every day a Joe Blow gets to get so up close and personal with a piece of American history). This is the old Air Force One-the current one is twice as large + boasts a movie theater, gym, etc,etc..Obama or McCain have alot to look forward to. The old Air Force One was flown from 1974(Nixon) to Sep.8, 2001. (Bush) It was pretty cool, inside AF1 there was a communications center, presidents quarters, staff quarters, kitchen, press gallery, situation room, kitchen, and bathrooms at the back. Really, really long.(not very wide) Wanted to get inside pictures, but there were five security people on hand to make sure that wasn't happening. Oh well...got plenty of pics of the outside of the plane.
I highly recommend it, if you're ever at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.

Across the Great Divide: The U.S. Open

How weird is it, when the hospital is located right next to the Torrey Pines golf course? Close enough to walk outside, across a parking lot, climb a fence, drop, and you're on the course?

Well, it happened. First day of the U.S.Open, zillions of cars trying to park on the hospital lot and hospital security going nuts/spitting bullets trying to keep people out. Identification was needed(appointment card)to park on the hospital lot. Bloodwork, transfusion, took about 7 hours. The oncologist comes in for about five minutes, answers a couple of questions and dissipeirs again. He is a jerk if I ever saw one.(got a real VIP complex going on there) The nurses/staff were great, fortunately. They were complete opposites
from the doc. Next week they will be doing more chemo and inserting a port-o-cath to make injections/draws/transfusions easier. Things seem to be staying the same right now in terms of blast count, it will take more chemo to see if it will work.

Right before leaving, we went out and watched some of the Open. Over 42,000 people a day attended, so it was a real beehive of activity. We didn't see Tiger but could hear the periodic OOOOOOOH's from the admiring, star-struck crowd when one of the favorite's in the threesome hit a good shot. And predictably, my cellphone had died so I couldn't even get any good pics.

Darn fence, wish I had been on the other side.

This One's for You, Dad

artist extroidenaire...and I hope you get some traffic off of this.(I really like how there's one page blank, waiting for the November winner)

Notes from a Spinning Planet: California Bound

Tomorrow, we fly to California, it's not a vacation..my husband's dad is really sick, he has acute lymphocytic leukemia complicated by the fact that a bone marrow transplant is out(age over 65)and his back(disks) is in rough shape + they can't do surgery for that because his platelet count is so low. Right now they are doing chemotherapy(Dacogen) injections and blood transfusions.(and strong painkillers)
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Speechless

My order of Cleo's arrived today. No more using Sils! and amazingly, Medco did not screw it up. I was getting ready to just buy them OOP and try to get reimbursed later on, low and behold my insurance then decides to cover them. No problems. I will never understand insurance companies.


And the other big news of the day..I've just had my fifth low of the day.(at 3 pm) 2 last night. I think the heat must be impacting my bgs big time.(it happens, sometimes, irregardless of the temperature outside but the heat is the only thing I can think of that may be triggering it) I think I need to start pumping glucagon, instead of insulin. Latest low occurred just 30 minutes after lunch.(with 3/4 of that insulin still on board) Hence the need to eat even more food. I'm waiting for that day when it absolutely refuses to come up and I have to go to the hospital, where they'll know absolutely nothing about D and of course, my endo will not be there to bail me out.(it'll be a weekend) My brain cells will be mush anyway, and I'll be lucky to get out of there alive.Handing over my control to clueless medical professionals is not always the best option.(off to eat B&J's, I'm not making sense, even to myself)

Weekend Renovations

How do I trim the size of my header? (specifically, the big ugly blank space to the right)

thanks, guys..

Notes from a Spinning Planet: Delaware (& Beyond)

A couple of weekends ago, I took a trip. It was really fun.. though quite torturous at times, as it was prime time yard sale weekend + I couldn't stop. (I stopped anyway, at about 4 out of 100+ that I drove by) I should have started earlier, so I could stop at more of them. Anyway, I did acquire a very nice croquet set for just $2... so it was worth stopping.



(you've read Allison's account of it..so I won't bore you with the details, but boy, it was fun!!) I really need to get a pair of sunglasses, but I don't spend much time outside. Hence the squinting.

A couple of days before the trip, I took my car in to get the air conditioning checked, they filled it up & checked for leaks. No way would have I survived the trip WITHOUT it, my car is like an oven. Well, a week later it had ceased to work (again). Took it in again..and evaporator or something is cracked. They'll have to take out the dashboard(an all day job) to replace it, at a total cost of $772.08. (plus tax)

Agggggggh my first car cost less then that! I've never, ever, EVER had a car bill like this, even with things overheating + smoking up a storm. Just WOW. I'm still in shock.. of course, its not imparitive that I replace it but the likelihood of surviving a summer without doing it isn't very high. No more road trips, till I can get this fixed.

Notes from a Spinning Planet: Psych 101

"I want to make one thing perfectly clear," the instructor continues, his eyes seemingly boring into every single one of ours, simultaneously. "If I see you texting during my class, you'll be asked to leave."

My insulin pump begins vibrating, reminding me of a post-meal bg check. I put my hand in my pocket and will it to shut up, be quiet, malfunction, something... You'd think a psychologist would be more understanding, not so rigid with the rules.

Next to go, is my Dexcom, it gives the high beep. Still postmeal, so I'm hoping the insulin just hasn't kicked in.

Half-time: 370. Either I underestimated the carbs, or my set is bad. I give a correction bolus.

An hour later, I check the Dex again. It's been HIGH for about 40 minutes, the bolus didn't do any good. BG check: 570. I'm so tired I just want to fall asleep at my desk but there's another hour of class to get through. Freud is twice as boring as usual, I wonder what his assessment of the situation would be. The repression of bodily functions leads to a state of post-traumatic stress in the individual with chronic illness..which triggers depression and the desire to guzzle gallons of diet coke and stay in bed for the next 24 hours. Perfectly normal, right?

And my brand new textbook has a backward cover, in another odd twist to the day. Going to be a very busy month, its an accelerated course(8 hours a week) and our first test is Wednesday. I just hope that the instructor doesn't tell me to leave when he sees me fooling with my pump, etc.(Yes, I can explain about the D, but I'm hoping that won't be necessary).

Tracked

Until today, I've never cried.(from it) Until today, the pain of a needle has never sent me over the edge. Until today, I have never witnessed the extreme callousness of someone who just doesn't give a flip + is just waiting till 5 PM and the end of a workday.

The needle was large(not 16 gauge, but large and entirely un-necessary for 3 lousy tubes of blood) and I was expecting a shock but not like that. The phlebotomist shoved it in very fast, and I've never felt that kind of paralyzing pain before. I've been tracked up on both arms for usable veins, I've given donations of blood many times, and I've had a few Arterial Blood Gases in my time. I've had IV's, and blown IVs. I've had gushers, and I've had sets hit nerves. None of them compared to this.

I dissolve-erupt into a fountain of tears, the phlebotomist grabs my arm roughly, slaps a band aid on it and tells me to have a nice day. Shows me the door. No apologies, no inquires as to whether I was ok. I think that that is what hurts the most, I understand people make mistakes(and I'm ok with that) but deliberately reeking physical and mental damage is extremely unprofessional. I guess I've just been extremely lucky, in that phlebotomists have always been polite, at the very least..they can't all be painless but all I really want is respect. I won't be going back to that facility, the bruise goes deep to my soul.

The Last of a Trilogy: Hail to the Chief

Washington's digs aren't nearly as big as Jefferson's or even James Madison's. But he
had alot more land/various outbuildings.
(plus, at Mt. Vernon there is an actual food court in the visitor's center...ice cream sure hits the spot, much more so then a lukewarm cola from some vending machine)

Anyway, we finally made it up to Mt. Vernon on Memorial Day. Place was packed,as usual.(its open 365 days a year)
It was the final stop on the "3 Presidents" tour, having been to Monticello and Montpelier over the past 2 years.



Washington preferred simplicity, but even he would have balked at this:



Family Bible:




Washington family pew:



Watering can:




A cooking pot so large you could take a bath in it:



Washington is watching you:(this was pretty freaky, as you moved his eyes moved with you)


His surveying equipment:



The dock:(during spring fishing, they could catch up to 1.6 million herring in just 6 weeks!)

href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_Umm4FAhrHoTzrV30yusewRw2nYA1dy6e4BWzRj-rf5ofYw4U6NhcPjCNhae0yGi2TCVk_6Mq1aCj12m4IfpZ_lGrKq5exOcuMyk8d8dNNfLQ7RyEGKy7DBvJ-EWGB0zDw_X5VA/s1600-h/potamac.jpg">




This is how they got around:(riding chair, which was apparently much more comfortable then the carriage)



and a carriage:



His tomb:


Inside the main house, of course, no flash photography was allowed. We also took the audio tour(headphones,device) and that was definatly worth it,found out alot of extra stuff that guides weren't around to tell us.
All in all, I must agree his assessment of the place:



I would love to live there...situated on a hill RIGHT above the Potomac River, thus breezy + a temperate climate. I would not love to be bled four times before dying, but apparently Washington died of the throat infection(went out riding, got sore throat, it progressed, had difficulty breathing/fever, his doctors bled him four times the day he died, he suffocated-it was a 36 hour illness) Today, they theorize that antibiotics would have cleared it right up. Horrid way to go.
Interesting fact..his only surviving(well, the only one who had kids) offspring(a step great-grand daughter) married Robert E. Lee, they had 7 kids(none of whom died,during the Civil War) and I'm sure that's how the Custis-Washington legacy survived. Kudos to Lee, even if you don't like how he fought for the South.


"First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.." he was truly a great leader, without which the United States may not have come into existence. And he could have been President for life, how many leaders today would voluntarily step down after just two terms?

Memorial Day Weekend

Tomorrow promises to be very, very interesting... in more ways then one. I'm excited about meeting other OC bloggers, but the thing that's got me worried will I ever FIND the place.(point #11,I'm horrible with directions. And maps. I always get lost the first 1-2 times till it sinks in the o'le memory bank)
My one consolation, close to the Atlantic, you can't TOO lost, there are only so many roads, all of which will lead you back to major highways in a comfortingly familiar SW direction. So I may be a little late but I plan to get there.

The only thing that would make this even better, is if sense of taste would return. I might as well be eating gruel, for the sensation is the same. So very dead. I usually eat all the disgustingly healthy things I cannot stand otherwise,(during such times)because A. I need it and B. I'd never eat it otherwise. I'm beginning to get concerned,its gone on a little long + the congestion isn't horrible enough to warrant all of that.(sinus infection,maybe?)

drawkcaB dellepS emeM

#1 I eat pizza, pie, and all triangular shaped foods from the crust, to the tip. Precisely opposite from the way most people do it. I started doing this as a teenager, after hearing the story about an American spy in WWII who got caught because of the way he ate his pie. No one is ever going to indite me on something, based on the way I eat. Now its just 2nd nature to eat them like that.

#2 I dislike sweet and salty ingredients in the same dish. Pineapple pizza? yuck. Waldorf Salad? can't stand it. I eat cottage cheese packs one section at a time.(CC first, put jam on bread) because mixing it tasted disgusting. Sweet salad dressings- no go, I prefer salty.

#3 My first car was a '89 Pontiac Grand Am. My second, a '95 Dodge Spirit. Both of them lasted an average of 2.5 years before being I totaled them. Hoping to get more mileage out of car #3.(2 years, 5 months, currently)

#4 I love motorcycles, wish I owned one.(to be a black leathered chick racing down the freeway at 80 mph is a reoccurring fantasy of mine.) My life is pretty dull, in that regard.

#5 I've lived 9 places in 26 years, mostly the result of landlord's offspring getting married + repossessing the houses. Getting married=large scale reproduction plans(especially in Old Order Mennonite country) so we had to move around alot.

#6 I want to give blood in each of the 50 states, before I die.(which also requires actually visiting said states...)

#7 I dislike cooking immensely, I'd rather clean up. I think it has to do with the inconvenience of reading glasses, having to whip them on/off half a zillion times during the process is pretty annoying and I'd rather just heat something up in the microwave to avoid all that. Top Chef, I am not.(but I do enjoy everyone else's cooking..)

#8 I don't wear red, it brings out the zits. Apparently, those teenage hormone's are still runnin' strong and the zits..they never really leave.(been there, tried that)

#9 I have a famous ancestor,(well,kinda,he wasn't married) which unfortunately I can't even blog about due to what he was famous for. (think highly mortifying) Regardless, I hope someday that the billions in royalties will find their way across the Atlantic + to our branch of the family tree(and if it crosses,it will) and we'll all be set, for life.If that happens, I'm going to hire my own researcher and get myself cured.(plan #1)

#10 I wrote my first book at the age of 11. I'm still writing,(nothing published, yet) but my spelling doesn't seem to have improved at all since then. I have atrocious spelling. I once lost a spelling bee in which there were only two people(me, the other kid) and the other kid was 1.5 years younger then I.