Remember this?
Time flies, when you’re having fun. (And seriously, its been fun. I love blogging, whether or not it does anything for anyone else, it does for me)
Went to primary care doc’s for another script (although I’ve been studiously putting off not going, couldn’t avoid it). I need the refill RX.
“So how are you doing?” he asks, as he enters the room.
“Fine.”
“Really?”
“Uh, no, but that’s what everyone is supposed to say before they launch into the reason they came there in the first place. It’s the polite thing to do.”
“I’m a doctor- I don’t care. You can say whatever you want, ok?”
“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”
“And how’s the diabetes?”
“Really good.”
“How good is good?”
“It’s been pretty stable for awhile.”
“Last a1c?”
“I don’t know yet, its been a couple of weeks and I haven’t got the results yet.”
“And your numbers?”
“Mostly between 100-200.” (Now)
“Your last a1c was-“ flipping though the chart. “Pretty high. Who do you see over at X?”
“Dr. K.”
“I’m going to find out the results of your last one.”
Proceed to call over there and find out the results, in less then 5 minutes. (To my utter amazement, it must be a doctor thing, it would take me 10 years to get someone to call me back)
“Have her call me- this kid doesn’t need strokes, heart attacks, and amputations down the road.”
List 3 separate numbers as contact info. I am kind of worried- its not like my endo doesn’t do a good job or that I ever said anything negative about her. What’s she going to think? It is entirely, 100% my fault about my a1c. She’s a good endo-she attempts war on the basal rates + everything. Its not her fault I’m a hopeless case.
Hang up, turn around.
“You haven’t gone down.”
“I kind of figured.”
Push glasses up, scoot over.
“You know, you’re too young to have diabetes complications. I am seriously worried about you.”
“I try.”(put passion into voice)
“Is there anything going on?”
“You mean, besides life? I’ve been working 60 hour weeks-its not like diabetes is a huge priority right now.”
“It needs to be.”
“I know.”
“Did I ever tell you about the guy in South Carolina?”
“No.”
“Oh, I thought I had.”
Pause.
“What about the guy in South Carolina? Someone you knew?”
“During my residency.”
“Tell me the story, then.”
“He developed diabetes at 17. Started losing his vision at 25. Had two heart attacks, a stroke, kidney failure, went 80% blind, and had an amputation. Frequently ran blood sugars in the 300-500 range and spent much of the time in the hospital from DKA. He said diabetes wasn’t going to prevent him from living his life but he essentially ignored it and it cost him his life. Most of it happened when he was 30-32. Two years-in and out of the hospital-and he died.”
“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad.”
“I know.”
“It’s just- you remind me so much of the path he was taking. I don’t want this to happen to you.”
Resist urge to tell him that I DON’T run blood sugars in the 300-500 range. Just the 200.
“And I’ve got another patient, she got diabetes around 15 + has worked hard all the years to keep her blood sugars down. Checking her blood sugars before every meal, etc. She just had her 20th year eye checkup-and there are NO signs of diabetic eye disease. Had two healthy pregnancies too.”
“That’s nice. Am I the highest a1c in your practice?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know why some patients have more motivation then others. I wish I could help you find your motivation.”
Pause.
“It’s partly a genetics game, you know.”
“Yes, but its mostly blood sugars.”
“Well, if I get my a1c down, you know you can work miracles on anybody.”
“Not necessarily.”
“Just about.”
“I want you to.”
“I want me to too. It’s just impossible, to stay motivated for that period of time.”
“Three weeks- I want to see you back in here.”
“That might help.”
(That was the condensed version, it lasted about 15 minutes)
Discuss rx matters.
Walk out to desk.
“You’re the last appointment of the day,” the nurse informs me.
Look at clock. 4:35.
“You mean, I could have gone on with the sermon for another 30 minutes?” he says jokingly.
“That’s ok. I’ve heard quite a few sermons in my life, and that was certainly long enough.”
Check out.
Why is it so hard to stay motivated? Why? And why do I feel like a failure, every single time I go there...
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
The Charge of the Life Brigade
Half a day, half a month
Half a year onward,
All in(to) the valley of Diabetes
Rode the one hundred.
“Forward, the Lite Brigade!
Go forth and live!” he (the endo) said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the one hundred.
“Forward, the Lite Brigade!”
Was there a soul dismayed? (Heck, YEAH)
And though, each one knelt and prayed
That he, and others, might be saved
Each one ultimately knew
Their bodies had blundered
They did not make reply
They could no know the why
They did not wish to die
Young, brave, one hundred!
Donuts to the right of them
Pizza to the left of them,
Chocolate in front of them,
Temptation all around!
Volley’d and thunder’d,
Stormed at, with Death’s cruel knell
Clumsily they rode, as their eyes did swell (untreated diabetes)
Into the jaws of D
Into a dream from Hell
Rode the one hundred.
Ate they, their diet poor
Not for them, the carb‑rich smore,
This thin, hungry corps
Fighting for life, while
All the world wondered:
Bathed in ketonish blood
Against a Cola flood,
Yank and Aussie
Reel’d from the parching thirst
Drank till they thought they’d burst
All on the ground fell they
Fell the one hundred.
Donuts to the left of them,
Pizza to the right of them
Temptation all around,
Who will be left of them?
Left of one hundred?
A teenage boy, his face chalk white
Lay hoping, on the ground
As all around him, lost their fight
He listened- to a sound.
A maiden fair, with locks of gold
Came wading through the muck
Thought he, “A man could die, a death so bold
With her to bring me luck!”
“Quick, soldier, plunge into thine arm
This life‑giving elixir,
Twill do thee good, it will not harm
This glorious clear fixer.”
His not to question why,
His not to sit and cry,
His but, to do, or die
Last of the hundred!
The boy awoke, a gentle hand
Caressed his fevered brow
A nurse in white, a black clad man
Asked how he felt right now.
A thousand battles daily rage,
Since insulin first came,
Yet still, we all repeat this page
And tell of Banting’s(and Best,let's not forget the other guy) fame.
Honor the Life Brigade
Honor the lives they saved,
And to the lives they’ll save,
Countless of hundreds!
Half a year onward,
All in(to) the valley of Diabetes
Rode the one hundred.
“Forward, the Lite Brigade!
Go forth and live!” he (the endo) said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the one hundred.
“Forward, the Lite Brigade!”
Was there a soul dismayed? (Heck, YEAH)
And though, each one knelt and prayed
That he, and others, might be saved
Each one ultimately knew
Their bodies had blundered
They did not make reply
They could no know the why
They did not wish to die
Young, brave, one hundred!
Donuts to the right of them
Pizza to the left of them,
Chocolate in front of them,
Temptation all around!
Volley’d and thunder’d,
Stormed at, with Death’s cruel knell
Clumsily they rode, as their eyes did swell (untreated diabetes)
Into the jaws of D
Into a dream from Hell
Rode the one hundred.
Ate they, their diet poor
Not for them, the carb‑rich smore,
This thin, hungry corps
Fighting for life, while
All the world wondered:
Bathed in ketonish blood
Against a Cola flood,
Yank and Aussie
Reel’d from the parching thirst
Drank till they thought they’d burst
All on the ground fell they
Fell the one hundred.
Donuts to the left of them,
Pizza to the right of them
Temptation all around,
Who will be left of them?
Left of one hundred?
A teenage boy, his face chalk white
Lay hoping, on the ground
As all around him, lost their fight
He listened- to a sound.
A maiden fair, with locks of gold
Came wading through the muck
Thought he, “A man could die, a death so bold
With her to bring me luck!”
“Quick, soldier, plunge into thine arm
This life‑giving elixir,
Twill do thee good, it will not harm
This glorious clear fixer.”
His not to question why,
His not to sit and cry,
His but, to do, or die
Last of the hundred!
The boy awoke, a gentle hand
Caressed his fevered brow
A nurse in white, a black clad man
Asked how he felt right now.
A thousand battles daily rage,
Since insulin first came,
Yet still, we all repeat this page
And tell of Banting’s(and Best,let's not forget the other guy) fame.
Honor the Life Brigade
Honor the lives they saved,
And to the lives they’ll save,
Countless of hundreds!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Monday Musings
My coworker had a heart attack today. We're pretty close, there's three of us that work in that area + we get along well.
About 8 am, she got this sudden chest/neck pain, red face, and started sweating profusely. Our supivisor came over + my other coworker ran to page the CNA. The CNA said to call the squad, which we did.
It took 15 minutes for the rescue squad to get there-and they're just 3 miles away. A person could die, waiting for the rescue squad. (and I'm sure lots of people do die-waiting for that rescue squad!!!) I'm not licensed to be an EMT in the facility, but I was nervous as heck that the squad wouldn't get there + I'd have to do CPR.
She's been admitted, and they're running tests now.I just hope she's ok, she's got every single cardiac risk factor there is + needs to quit smoking. I'm worried about her.
Tonight, my youngest brother took me out to Red Lobster (a late,late,late birthday present as he's been in Marine boot camp the past 3 months). It was awesome- I love Red Lobster.
The events of the morning got me thinking about how more frequently PWD's have heart attacks, and in 30 years am I going to be in the same boat? Add the high a1cs, the family history of cardiac problems, and the length of time with the D and its more then just a worry-its a huge probability. I suppose the only two positive factors are A. I don't smoke and B.I don't have high cholesterol. Heart attacks are really scary-I don't want that complication either,thank you very much.
It's been awesome weather, supposed to be in the 60's till Friday.(when it gets colder again) Almost feels like spring.
About 8 am, she got this sudden chest/neck pain, red face, and started sweating profusely. Our supivisor came over + my other coworker ran to page the CNA. The CNA said to call the squad, which we did.
It took 15 minutes for the rescue squad to get there-and they're just 3 miles away. A person could die, waiting for the rescue squad. (and I'm sure lots of people do die-waiting for that rescue squad!!!) I'm not licensed to be an EMT in the facility, but I was nervous as heck that the squad wouldn't get there + I'd have to do CPR.
She's been admitted, and they're running tests now.I just hope she's ok, she's got every single cardiac risk factor there is + needs to quit smoking. I'm worried about her.
Tonight, my youngest brother took me out to Red Lobster (a late,late,late birthday present as he's been in Marine boot camp the past 3 months). It was awesome- I love Red Lobster.
The events of the morning got me thinking about how more frequently PWD's have heart attacks, and in 30 years am I going to be in the same boat? Add the high a1cs, the family history of cardiac problems, and the length of time with the D and its more then just a worry-its a huge probability. I suppose the only two positive factors are A. I don't smoke and B.I don't have high cholesterol. Heart attacks are really scary-I don't want that complication either,thank you very much.
It's been awesome weather, supposed to be in the 60's till Friday.(when it gets colder again) Almost feels like spring.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
The Official D-Friendly Gift Giving Guide
If you’re like me, every Christmas you'll probably get a few of these.
-Sugar Free chocolates/candy(that often don’t taste all that great- and contain enough sorbital to keep you restroom running well into the next year)
- Diabetic cookbooks
-Boost, or similar “glucose stabilizing” drinks
- Diabetic socks
Your loved ones think you will appreciate/use them, and you definitely appreciate the thought. But you probably will NOT use them.
So, what do the type 1's on your list really want?
The Quick Fix Keychain- which totally tops the list in terms of convenience, durability, and now comes in 4 lovely colors. Your hypofix goes anywhere you do, I can't tell you how many times I've been glad I've had this.15 carbs makes enough of a differance to get to where ever you're going, or to make it someplace+ buy food. You can also put jellybeans,smarties,or other small candies in them.
Frios- On every continant, Frios rule.. Frio's for pumps, vials,pens-and simular products for Byetta users. They're always appropriate(summer is only 7 months off!).I love my Frio.
A 24 pack case of Diet Coke (or Diet Pepsi..whichever one they prefer)- What D wouldn't love this??? most of us are Diet Carbonated Beverage addicts.
An Itunes gift card- where they can download such classics as:
- Santa Claus Gave Me Diabetes(Stuckey + Murray). For those of us diagnosed during the holiday season, this song hits particuraly close to home.
-Ebay (Parady of "I want it that Way" by the Backstreet Boys) by Weird Al Yankovitch. Most of those online Christmas deals will probably end up in your next yard sale.
- free diabetes related podcasts
- Walk the Line(Johnny Cash). The Man in Black had type 2 diabetes himself, so he understood part of what he was singing about.
- On Top of Spaghetti. Its a good thing meatballs have few-zero carbs, losing one's meatball will not wrack havoc on your bg control.
A suscription to one of these fine magazines is always appreciated:
-Diabetes Forecast
-Diabetes Health
-Voice of the Diabetic
-Countdown(JDRF)
-Diabetes Selfmanagement
Or a gift certificate here. I'd love one of those shirts, but can't justify $25 on one.
A Environmentally Friendly Syringe-Lancet Zapper:
(no good for pump needles-but still,pretty handy + freakin' cool)You can just recap the syringe + toss,when you're done with burning the needle hub off. No (getting stuck) worries for the poor trash guy,when he picks up your trash.
Any further suggestions to the list?
-Sugar Free chocolates/candy(that often don’t taste all that great- and contain enough sorbital to keep you restroom running well into the next year)
- Diabetic cookbooks
-Boost, or similar “glucose stabilizing” drinks
- Diabetic socks
Your loved ones think you will appreciate/use them, and you definitely appreciate the thought. But you probably will NOT use them.
So, what do the type 1's on your list really want?
The Quick Fix Keychain- which totally tops the list in terms of convenience, durability, and now comes in 4 lovely colors. Your hypofix goes anywhere you do, I can't tell you how many times I've been glad I've had this.15 carbs makes enough of a differance to get to where ever you're going, or to make it someplace+ buy food. You can also put jellybeans,smarties,or other small candies in them.
Frios- On every continant, Frios rule.. Frio's for pumps, vials,pens-and simular products for Byetta users. They're always appropriate(summer is only 7 months off!).I love my Frio.
A 24 pack case of Diet Coke (or Diet Pepsi..whichever one they prefer)- What D wouldn't love this??? most of us are Diet Carbonated Beverage addicts.
An Itunes gift card- where they can download such classics as:
- Santa Claus Gave Me Diabetes(Stuckey + Murray). For those of us diagnosed during the holiday season, this song hits particuraly close to home.
-Ebay (Parady of "I want it that Way" by the Backstreet Boys) by Weird Al Yankovitch. Most of those online Christmas deals will probably end up in your next yard sale.
- free diabetes related podcasts
- Walk the Line(Johnny Cash). The Man in Black had type 2 diabetes himself, so he understood part of what he was singing about.
- On Top of Spaghetti. Its a good thing meatballs have few-zero carbs, losing one's meatball will not wrack havoc on your bg control.
A suscription to one of these fine magazines is always appreciated:
-Diabetes Forecast
-Diabetes Health
-Voice of the Diabetic
-Countdown(JDRF)
-Diabetes Selfmanagement
Or a gift certificate here. I'd love one of those shirts, but can't justify $25 on one.
A Environmentally Friendly Syringe-Lancet Zapper:
(no good for pump needles-but still,pretty handy + freakin' cool)You can just recap the syringe + toss,when you're done with burning the needle hub off. No (getting stuck) worries for the poor trash guy,when he picks up your trash.
Any further suggestions to the list?
Thursday, November 23, 2006
72 Hours in Review
Happy Turkey Day, Ya'll!!!!!!
(After being throughly stuffed, I figure I should type off some of those calories)
So Tuesday..
6 A.M. Get up, check blood sugar. Assume it to be in the upper stratosphere, given how thirsty I am, but its only 104. Whatever.
7 AM- Eat sausage+ bagel biscuit.
8:30 AM- 239. Bummer. Take 3 units.
9:30 AM- Indulge Self in coworker's too-die-for angel food cake.
10 AM- It is announced that we'll be working Friday AND Saturday. I want to punch something, preferably the idiots in Corporate who make these decisions. What good is a holiday weekend if you get one day off, only to slave the other two? My entire weekend has just been ruined. And its not like we're some needed service, like a hospital or gas station or something. This is retail- people will not die if they don't get that Tommy Hilfigure watch come Dec.25.
No getting drunk Thursday night.
No Black Friday.
No wild holiday house decorating sprees.(heck,I'll be too tired)
It is really not fair.
11 AM- 236. Take 3 more units.
12:15 PM- Check blood sugar, just for the priviledge of NOT seeing a 200's number.
139. Ahh, life is better now.
1 PM- Eat bologna + Swiss sandwich(both of which I don't really care for) from the vending machine, because there was absolutely nothing better in there and I ate my packed lunch for breakfast...
1:15 PM- Auditing supivisor comes over, hands me a slip of paper and tells me to fix the order. Spend next hour fixing it, only to find out original count size was wrong anyway. Check slip of paper, see that I've been marked up 11 times.
I didn't make 11 mistakes- I made one mistake 11 times!!!!
Just for the record- 1 mistake is forgivable, 11 is NOT. 11 is very, very bad. The auditor, apparently, has been trying to impress her supivisor + it worked. The thing is, I was just going off the paperwork(the mistake originated elsewhere) + it all comes back on my head..CRUD.(I won't get fired, but if I did, this is not the week I'd care)
4 PM- 139. Not bad. Go home, retrieve mail from mailbox, partially porn addressed to landlady's husband. Am I surprised- no, that past is common knowledge. Am I irratated? yes, he can keep his porn mags, I don't want them. Stuff it back in mailbox.
5:30 PM- Go to gym,eat applesauce, workout. Infusion set falls off.
6:30 PM-287. Eat Chinese food anyway.
8:30 PM-459. Bolus huge amount
1:30 AM-300.
5:30 AM-200. Wake up from nightmare that your own child has just been diagnosed,and you're sitting in your Ex-Ped Endo's office(the sins of one's teenagerhood loom large) crying. I have got to stop thinking about hypothetical situations that could possible occur,I don't even have any kids yet!
Day goes much better, blood sugars behave.(as I make the conscious effort to count every carb, check every hour, and treat anything under 100 like it'll soon turn into a low.)
5:30 PM- Run errands around town, eat supper at folks, peel, cut, and dice one's way to a sleepy coma.
Had two lows today,(morning) both from bolusing a large amount(for breakfast)because I didn't want to go high from the inactivity. Consequently, I didn't eat as much for Thanksgiving dinner because I'd consumed 2 cups of juice + a can of sweetened tea for my lows. Somehow, my body has acquired this "calorie limit", and it doesn't matter where the calories come from-I stuff too easily. One plate, one piece of pie, and I was history.
And I've decided I'm going to go out on BF (after work),some places have all day sales so I'll likely run into some bargains. Screw work-it's not going to dictate my life.
(After being throughly stuffed, I figure I should type off some of those calories)
So Tuesday..
6 A.M. Get up, check blood sugar. Assume it to be in the upper stratosphere, given how thirsty I am, but its only 104. Whatever.
7 AM- Eat sausage+ bagel biscuit.
8:30 AM- 239. Bummer. Take 3 units.
9:30 AM- Indulge Self in coworker's too-die-for angel food cake.
10 AM- It is announced that we'll be working Friday AND Saturday. I want to punch something, preferably the idiots in Corporate who make these decisions. What good is a holiday weekend if you get one day off, only to slave the other two? My entire weekend has just been ruined. And its not like we're some needed service, like a hospital or gas station or something. This is retail- people will not die if they don't get that Tommy Hilfigure watch come Dec.25.
No getting drunk Thursday night.
No Black Friday.
No wild holiday house decorating sprees.(heck,I'll be too tired)
It is really not fair.
11 AM- 236. Take 3 more units.
12:15 PM- Check blood sugar, just for the priviledge of NOT seeing a 200's number.
139. Ahh, life is better now.
1 PM- Eat bologna + Swiss sandwich(both of which I don't really care for) from the vending machine, because there was absolutely nothing better in there and I ate my packed lunch for breakfast...
1:15 PM- Auditing supivisor comes over, hands me a slip of paper and tells me to fix the order. Spend next hour fixing it, only to find out original count size was wrong anyway. Check slip of paper, see that I've been marked up 11 times.
I didn't make 11 mistakes- I made one mistake 11 times!!!!
Just for the record- 1 mistake is forgivable, 11 is NOT. 11 is very, very bad. The auditor, apparently, has been trying to impress her supivisor + it worked. The thing is, I was just going off the paperwork(the mistake originated elsewhere) + it all comes back on my head..CRUD.(I won't get fired, but if I did, this is not the week I'd care)
4 PM- 139. Not bad. Go home, retrieve mail from mailbox, partially porn addressed to landlady's husband. Am I surprised- no, that past is common knowledge. Am I irratated? yes, he can keep his porn mags, I don't want them. Stuff it back in mailbox.
5:30 PM- Go to gym,eat applesauce, workout. Infusion set falls off.
6:30 PM-287. Eat Chinese food anyway.
8:30 PM-459. Bolus huge amount
1:30 AM-300.
5:30 AM-200. Wake up from nightmare that your own child has just been diagnosed,and you're sitting in your Ex-Ped Endo's office(the sins of one's teenagerhood loom large) crying. I have got to stop thinking about hypothetical situations that could possible occur,I don't even have any kids yet!
Day goes much better, blood sugars behave.(as I make the conscious effort to count every carb, check every hour, and treat anything under 100 like it'll soon turn into a low.)
5:30 PM- Run errands around town, eat supper at folks, peel, cut, and dice one's way to a sleepy coma.
Had two lows today,(morning) both from bolusing a large amount(for breakfast)because I didn't want to go high from the inactivity. Consequently, I didn't eat as much for Thanksgiving dinner because I'd consumed 2 cups of juice + a can of sweetened tea for my lows. Somehow, my body has acquired this "calorie limit", and it doesn't matter where the calories come from-I stuff too easily. One plate, one piece of pie, and I was history.
And I've decided I'm going to go out on BF (after work),some places have all day sales so I'll likely run into some bargains. Screw work-it's not going to dictate my life.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Meter O' Mine
As a rescue squad trainee, I had a great fondness for our uniform.
Pockets, pockets, everywhere.
The BDU's alone sported 6. 2 knee, 2 side, 2 back. The jacket had a 2 arm pockets and
a smaller pocket on top of the (joined) hand pockets. And, of course, the uniform shirt had a small left pocket. Topped off with thick boots-it was very professional looking,even if everything was entirely too long.(obviously,designed by the male members of the RS)
While most people on the squad rather underutilized their pockets, I made full use of mine. (figuring, if I had to look unfashionable + fat anyway, I'd go the whole 9 yards)
Right side pocket- pump
Right knee pocket- glucose tabs
Right back pocket- medical ID, since I didn't want to WEAR it..
Left side pocket- money, cellphone
Left knee pocket-car keys
Left back pocket- meter, strips, poker
A juice box or two was generally stashed in the jacket pocket, along with various pens, papers, penlights, etc. (tools of the trade)
I carried all my D supplies on me, because I didn't want to use the ambulance's unless it were absolutely necessary. (A. I hate glucose gel, B. Their meters sucked, and C. I didn't want anyone to know I had diabetes) By doing this, I also didn't have to cart around a pocketbook.
One particularly long night, as several of us jump back into the ambulance to head back to the station, one of the paramedics notices my meter case lying out.
"Hey, what's this?" He unzips it.
The other squad trainee looks over at it, interested. I immeadiently resort to my best pokerface + don't say a word.
"It looks like some patient left their home blood glucose testing machine in here-did we have any D patients tonight?"
"Beats me," the other trainee responds. I shrug, non-commitally, hoping my flaming red face doesn't give anything away.
"We should really drop it off, next time we're out at the hospital."
(Nooo you won't, I think, when we're back at the station, I'll be repossessing it, and will NEVER,EVER,EVER leave it out again)
The conversation drifts away to other topics, and when we arrive at the station I take it back. (when no one is looking)
A meter is a very personal thing. Just like a pump, you've got this special affection for the bloodsucking technomarvel.
And you get very upset when someone touches/tampers with it.
(You touch it, You die!!!)
Although, if I would have killed the paramedic everyone would have known I had diabetes, and my overall effectiveness on the job would have doubted).(At saving lives, too..)
(inspired off this. Ok, so I'm not 22 anymore,but I can still have fun with my rather boring,plain o'le black meter case) Cool contest,Allison- I hope D-life gets many imaginative,fun, submissions.
Pockets, pockets, everywhere.
The BDU's alone sported 6. 2 knee, 2 side, 2 back. The jacket had a 2 arm pockets and
a smaller pocket on top of the (joined) hand pockets. And, of course, the uniform shirt had a small left pocket. Topped off with thick boots-it was very professional looking,even if everything was entirely too long.(obviously,designed by the male members of the RS)
While most people on the squad rather underutilized their pockets, I made full use of mine. (figuring, if I had to look unfashionable + fat anyway, I'd go the whole 9 yards)
Right side pocket- pump
Right knee pocket- glucose tabs
Right back pocket- medical ID, since I didn't want to WEAR it..
Left side pocket- money, cellphone
Left knee pocket-car keys
Left back pocket- meter, strips, poker
A juice box or two was generally stashed in the jacket pocket, along with various pens, papers, penlights, etc. (tools of the trade)
I carried all my D supplies on me, because I didn't want to use the ambulance's unless it were absolutely necessary. (A. I hate glucose gel, B. Their meters sucked, and C. I didn't want anyone to know I had diabetes) By doing this, I also didn't have to cart around a pocketbook.
One particularly long night, as several of us jump back into the ambulance to head back to the station, one of the paramedics notices my meter case lying out.
"Hey, what's this?" He unzips it.
The other squad trainee looks over at it, interested. I immeadiently resort to my best pokerface + don't say a word.
"It looks like some patient left their home blood glucose testing machine in here-did we have any D patients tonight?"
"Beats me," the other trainee responds. I shrug, non-commitally, hoping my flaming red face doesn't give anything away.
"We should really drop it off, next time we're out at the hospital."
(Nooo you won't, I think, when we're back at the station, I'll be repossessing it, and will NEVER,EVER,EVER leave it out again)
The conversation drifts away to other topics, and when we arrive at the station I take it back. (when no one is looking)
A meter is a very personal thing. Just like a pump, you've got this special affection for the bloodsucking technomarvel.
And you get very upset when someone touches/tampers with it.
(You touch it, You die!!!)
Although, if I would have killed the paramedic everyone would have known I had diabetes, and my overall effectiveness on the job would have doubted).(At saving lives, too..)
(inspired off this. Ok, so I'm not 22 anymore,but I can still have fun with my rather boring,plain o'le black meter case) Cool contest,Allison- I hope D-life gets many imaginative,fun, submissions.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Reality Check in Aisle Five
I decided against an all-nighter(awaiting the coming of the PlayStation 3), namely, because I am a working women AND can't camp out two days ahead of time. 16 hours is a reasonable time period, two days is not. The store down the road, where I'd planned to make my midnight run-already had more then ten customers, as of YESTERDAY. And 10 PS3's were all that store was getting. I am not going to wait 12 hours in freezing temperatures, unless I could be assured that I would be getting one. What is it- do they think more will magically appear, or do they not do their homework ahead of time?
There are less painful ways of doing this, such as preorders at various places.(which I do have, it will just be awhile) And of course, there is Black Friday. (8 days away..can you feel the excitement? lol)
I am, once again, the proud Aunt...
Of a nephew this time, named Paul. Poor Paul was supposed to be a girl, but I'm glad my SIL had a backup plan(name). Nonetheless, the pink clothes/blankets will have to wait for his sister!
Paul came TWO days after Emily, 4 weeks early. Babies come when they want to, but I think its kinda cool that they were almost born on the same day.
Welcome to the world, Paul!!!!!!!
(pics forthcoming, when I get into see them)
Further Reality Checks forthcoming.(time to frantically scribble numbers/info down for endo appointment tomarrow)
There are less painful ways of doing this, such as preorders at various places.(which I do have, it will just be awhile) And of course, there is Black Friday. (8 days away..can you feel the excitement? lol)
I am, once again, the proud Aunt...
Of a nephew this time, named Paul. Poor Paul was supposed to be a girl, but I'm glad my SIL had a backup plan(name). Nonetheless, the pink clothes/blankets will have to wait for his sister!
Paul came TWO days after Emily, 4 weeks early. Babies come when they want to, but I think its kinda cool that they were almost born on the same day.
Welcome to the world, Paul!!!!!!!
(pics forthcoming, when I get into see them)
Further Reality Checks forthcoming.(time to frantically scribble numbers/info down for endo appointment tomarrow)
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
List of Places to REALLY Avoid on Friday
Best Buy? Check.
Target? Check.
Circuit City? Check
Staples? Check
Office Max? Check
Kmart? Potential check- it depends on where the Best Buy losers migrate next
Walmart? Double Check.
Endo’s Off- Wait, I can’t avoid that. Gotta take my medicine like a woman.
So at which of these fine establishments will I be camping out, (on the night of the 16th) thermals- coat-sleeping bag-hot coffee in hand, listening to “Summertime, Summertime” on my ipod while I breathe periodically on my pump + meter, willing them NOT to freeze? (I’ll give you a clue, it isn’t the last one)
Stay tuned.
Target? Check.
Circuit City? Check
Staples? Check
Office Max? Check
Kmart? Potential check- it depends on where the Best Buy losers migrate next
Walmart? Double Check.
Endo’s Off- Wait, I can’t avoid that. Gotta take my medicine like a woman.
So at which of these fine establishments will I be camping out, (on the night of the 16th) thermals- coat-sleeping bag-hot coffee in hand, listening to “Summertime, Summertime” on my ipod while I breathe periodically on my pump + meter, willing them NOT to freeze? (I’ll give you a clue, it isn’t the last one)
Stay tuned.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Definatly NOT a NaPoBloMo(R)
I wouldn't be able to do that, pop out a post every single day. Unless I was the weather person. But today...
Meet little Emily. (my very first, NEW NIECE! born today)
Closing the gap on the previously dispared of, complete + absolute, male takeover. Go, girls.
(Another niece due in December)
And everyone is doing fine.
Meet little Emily. (my very first, NEW NIECE! born today)
Closing the gap on the previously dispared of, complete + absolute, male takeover. Go, girls.
(Another niece due in December)
And everyone is doing fine.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Touring Constitution Highway
Quick quiz:
Which of our Founding Fathers lived on the edge of civilization, supported his wife's deadbeat son, has one of the East Coast's central party schools named after him, was 5'2 (his wife was taller then him!) and lived the longest(ripe old 86, baby)?
Our very own James Madison.
Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Madison was not some rich, stuckup snob- he was truly a man of the people. He even lived in a doublewide, and that's the very first Port-A-Potty on the side:
(sorry, the sign just cracked me up-like that doublewide was actually his mansion!)
After work yesterday, my boyfriend and I went over to Montpelier, you want to talk about the edge of civilization- it still is. Took an hour to get there from the city limits, 2.5 hours total. I think its on the opposite side of the city from Monticello-despite him and Thomas Jefferson being such good buddies. Probably took a day's journey by horseback, back in those days.
Montpelier is still in restoration mode, it won't be finished until 2009. It really wasn't very picturesque, but it was cool, nonetheless. After James Madison died, his wife sold it, moved to DC + then she died 13 years later. And in 1903, the Duponts bought it, added about a zillion rooms, a racetrack + a train station+ tracks(yes, seriously, some people have more money then they know what to do with). So the restoration society decided to tear down all the additions, etc. (that the Duponts did) to make it truly authentic. Inside the house, you can still see little bits of wallpaper from the Dupont days, along with the Madison whitewashed bricks. As they tear the Dupont add-ons down, they have to be careful that they aren't tearing away Madison stuff because the Duponts were big recyclers and reused everything.
Some things, though, stood the test of time:
James Madison's "Temple".
(no,I'm not the blond)
Underneath, was an icehouse where they kept ice, and that's how Dolley could serve ice cream in the summertime. It also kept the upper area cool in the summertime, James Madison used it as a study sometimes.
The former ice hole:
Cedar of Lebanon trees:(from both the Madison + Dupont days)
They are really, really tall! One of the tallest, if not the tallest, trees I have ever seen.
One of the things that duly impressed me, was Mr. Madison was just 25 when he went to the Continental Congress. And he was the only one to remember to write down everything that went on in that room, posterity can thank him for setting the record straight.
I'm sure you're all wondering just HOW Mr. Madison finally died. During his last days, as he was pretty stiff and sore from arthritis and getting progressively weaker, his doctor(who had also been the former physician of Thomas Jefferson) offered him a stimulant so he could live a little longer and die in style on July 4.
(a popular dying date, back then) His family refused though. One morning, as he was eating breakfast in his study, he started to choke. His niece asked him what was wrong, he sat up straight, looked at her and said clearly + strongly,"Just a change of mind, my dear" and then slumped over the table and died. He must not have died from choking, he must have died from whatever it triggured... he was 86, and had been weak/ailing for quite some time.
He died on June 28, 1837. Didn't make it to the 4th.
The house under reconstruction:
And what its supposed to look like. (Scale model)
The weather was perfect,and the return trip was MUCH shorter.(an hour, found a shortcut home)
Dinner at Golden Corral, an end to a perfect day. (Definition of "Day":11 AM-8 PM, work does not count in the above activities(I try not to remember such things)). And I got my two insulin reactions out of the way, prior to 11 AM(so that wasn't so bad). 8:30 AM, 10:00 AM, and that was that. Didn't ruin the rest of the day.
Which of our Founding Fathers lived on the edge of civilization, supported his wife's deadbeat son, has one of the East Coast's central party schools named after him, was 5'2 (his wife was taller then him!) and lived the longest(ripe old 86, baby)?
Our very own James Madison.
Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Madison was not some rich, stuckup snob- he was truly a man of the people. He even lived in a doublewide, and that's the very first Port-A-Potty on the side:
(sorry, the sign just cracked me up-like that doublewide was actually his mansion!)
After work yesterday, my boyfriend and I went over to Montpelier, you want to talk about the edge of civilization- it still is. Took an hour to get there from the city limits, 2.5 hours total. I think its on the opposite side of the city from Monticello-despite him and Thomas Jefferson being such good buddies. Probably took a day's journey by horseback, back in those days.
Montpelier is still in restoration mode, it won't be finished until 2009. It really wasn't very picturesque, but it was cool, nonetheless. After James Madison died, his wife sold it, moved to DC + then she died 13 years later. And in 1903, the Duponts bought it, added about a zillion rooms, a racetrack + a train station+ tracks(yes, seriously, some people have more money then they know what to do with). So the restoration society decided to tear down all the additions, etc. (that the Duponts did) to make it truly authentic. Inside the house, you can still see little bits of wallpaper from the Dupont days, along with the Madison whitewashed bricks. As they tear the Dupont add-ons down, they have to be careful that they aren't tearing away Madison stuff because the Duponts were big recyclers and reused everything.
Some things, though, stood the test of time:
James Madison's "Temple".
(no,I'm not the blond)
Underneath, was an icehouse where they kept ice, and that's how Dolley could serve ice cream in the summertime. It also kept the upper area cool in the summertime, James Madison used it as a study sometimes.
The former ice hole:
Cedar of Lebanon trees:(from both the Madison + Dupont days)
They are really, really tall! One of the tallest, if not the tallest, trees I have ever seen.
One of the things that duly impressed me, was Mr. Madison was just 25 when he went to the Continental Congress. And he was the only one to remember to write down everything that went on in that room, posterity can thank him for setting the record straight.
I'm sure you're all wondering just HOW Mr. Madison finally died. During his last days, as he was pretty stiff and sore from arthritis and getting progressively weaker, his doctor(who had also been the former physician of Thomas Jefferson) offered him a stimulant so he could live a little longer and die in style on July 4.
(a popular dying date, back then) His family refused though. One morning, as he was eating breakfast in his study, he started to choke. His niece asked him what was wrong, he sat up straight, looked at her and said clearly + strongly,"Just a change of mind, my dear" and then slumped over the table and died. He must not have died from choking, he must have died from whatever it triggured... he was 86, and had been weak/ailing for quite some time.
He died on June 28, 1837. Didn't make it to the 4th.
The house under reconstruction:
And what its supposed to look like. (Scale model)
The weather was perfect,and the return trip was MUCH shorter.(an hour, found a shortcut home)
Dinner at Golden Corral, an end to a perfect day. (Definition of "Day":11 AM-8 PM, work does not count in the above activities(I try not to remember such things)). And I got my two insulin reactions out of the way, prior to 11 AM(so that wasn't so bad). 8:30 AM, 10:00 AM, and that was that. Didn't ruin the rest of the day.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
National D-Blog Day
(Today is National D-Blog Day. Every D-blog post has to be D-related, so I'll put my regular posts on hold for this)
Just a day like any other day.
I'd skipped out on a precalculus class that evening to go to the local insulin-pumpers meeting.
Veggies
Dip
Diet Soda
Fruit and...
Friends
Everything healthy, of course. (to deter individuals like myself, who absolutely would eat cookies/cake/junk food if it were offered)
Everything was there- yet something vital was missing. Or rather, someone.
I wondered about it, until(at the end of the meeting) the CDE told us why.
Just like that,gone that same day.And I thought, perhaps this was the most intelligent skipping of class that I had ever done. Otherwise,I'd have not known about it for months. And then I cried, all the way home.
Two days later I was at High Mass, rather a first for a Baptist...
It was crowded in the small chapel,standing room only for the latecomers. Which I most decididly was.
Candlelight sparkled against the stained glass windows, the chapel pews were lined with flowers. Outside, a light, chilly rain was falling. It was a overcast day, matching for a funeral.
People begun filing past the casket.
"How did you know her?" the priest,(who'd come up beside me) asked gently.
I start.
"She was-the best nurse. At the diabetes pediatric clinic. I knew her from there."
"I see," he nods. "You can go see her, if you want."
And I say my final goodbyes.
I still miss you,Andi- you were the best thing to happen for over 20 years worth of pediatric diabetes patients. You understood teenage D's like no one else at that place.
Diabetes isn't the only disease that needs cured, cancer also makes the list. And on this day, the anniversary of your death, I remember you + others like you who made the early years of D, just a bit easier.
This post is dedicated to you.
Just a day like any other day.
I'd skipped out on a precalculus class that evening to go to the local insulin-pumpers meeting.
Veggies
Dip
Diet Soda
Fruit and...
Friends
Everything healthy, of course. (to deter individuals like myself, who absolutely would eat cookies/cake/junk food if it were offered)
Everything was there- yet something vital was missing. Or rather, someone.
I wondered about it, until(at the end of the meeting) the CDE told us why.
Just like that,gone that same day.And I thought, perhaps this was the most intelligent skipping of class that I had ever done. Otherwise,I'd have not known about it for months. And then I cried, all the way home.
Two days later I was at High Mass, rather a first for a Baptist...
It was crowded in the small chapel,standing room only for the latecomers. Which I most decididly was.
Candlelight sparkled against the stained glass windows, the chapel pews were lined with flowers. Outside, a light, chilly rain was falling. It was a overcast day, matching for a funeral.
People begun filing past the casket.
"How did you know her?" the priest,(who'd come up beside me) asked gently.
I start.
"She was-the best nurse. At the diabetes pediatric clinic. I knew her from there."
"I see," he nods. "You can go see her, if you want."
And I say my final goodbyes.
I still miss you,Andi- you were the best thing to happen for over 20 years worth of pediatric diabetes patients. You understood teenage D's like no one else at that place.
Diabetes isn't the only disease that needs cured, cancer also makes the list. And on this day, the anniversary of your death, I remember you + others like you who made the early years of D, just a bit easier.
This post is dedicated to you.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Election Day Tag
I've been tagged by Minnasota Nice therefore,
I feel the need to tell you five useless pieces of information about me:
#1 I cannot parallel park, at all. Not a bicycle, not a car, not anything. I have tried- believe me. I do not try anymore, because A. I would hold up traffic for the next 45 minutes trying to get it right or B. run into someone, accidentily. If it would have been a Driver's Ed requirement- I still would not have a lisence.
#2 I bake a mean cherry pie. I enjoy baking, if I've got oodles of spare time and am bored anyway.(needless to say, it doesn't happen much)
#3 I've broken my left knee- twice. Once from falling over a little kid at the rollar rink, once from falling into a cattle crossing(and getting stuck). I fully expect to need a knee replacement before I turn 30, that knee is my nemesis.
#4 I was a tomboy, more into climbing trees + bossing my younger brothers(that is, until they outgrew me) then playing with dolls. The physical activity was good though, until I got diabetes I was rarely/never sick.
#5 I'm really good at shooting baskets- compliments of my job, part of which includes tossing up empty boxes on a (moveable) trash line. You do for hours on end, and it really improves your hand/eye coordination. I am not 6 feet tall though, so I won't be trying out for the WNBA.
Final Thoughts..
GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I don't care for who, just go do it)
I feel the need to tell you five useless pieces of information about me:
#1 I cannot parallel park, at all. Not a bicycle, not a car, not anything. I have tried- believe me. I do not try anymore, because A. I would hold up traffic for the next 45 minutes trying to get it right or B. run into someone, accidentily. If it would have been a Driver's Ed requirement- I still would not have a lisence.
#2 I bake a mean cherry pie. I enjoy baking, if I've got oodles of spare time and am bored anyway.(needless to say, it doesn't happen much)
#3 I've broken my left knee- twice. Once from falling over a little kid at the rollar rink, once from falling into a cattle crossing(and getting stuck). I fully expect to need a knee replacement before I turn 30, that knee is my nemesis.
#4 I was a tomboy, more into climbing trees + bossing my younger brothers(that is, until they outgrew me) then playing with dolls. The physical activity was good though, until I got diabetes I was rarely/never sick.
#5 I'm really good at shooting baskets- compliments of my job, part of which includes tossing up empty boxes on a (moveable) trash line. You do for hours on end, and it really improves your hand/eye coordination. I am not 6 feet tall though, so I won't be trying out for the WNBA.
Final Thoughts..
GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I don't care for who, just go do it)
Monday, November 06, 2006
Double O Seven
Most of the time, I entertain the notion that I am stronger then this disease. Check blood sugars, count carbs, stay on top of the pump stuff, do all the stuff that you’re supposed to. And you’ll live the perfect, complication-free, successful, inspiring, life.
Or so the endocrinologists tell you.
I have just one thing to say to that- most of them have never hypo’ed. Never descended into that deep, ditzy, panicky fog that makes you want to stuff everything in sight into your mouth. Never felt the shakes, never tried to hide it from anyone(so as not to scare them). Never burst out in tears because you’re just so not strong, just so tired of the endless procession of lows that aren’t manageable-aren’t avoidable. Never passed out, never woken up to the paramedics, never been throughly chastised for what one did/didn’t do to prevent this.
And the ones who have(the ones who have diabetes) and tell you this, are probably control freaks themselves(like Dr. Bernstein).Because every good endo(with or without D) is not going to tell you that D's going to be just peachy.
Not that strong. Not now, not ever, stupid diabetes. Lows seem to combine all the insecurities I feel about diabetes. Lows are the thing we can't control. We are at the mercy of an unpredictible drug, which does whatsoever it wants, whensoever it wants.
Or so the endocrinologists tell you.
I have just one thing to say to that- most of them have never hypo’ed. Never descended into that deep, ditzy, panicky fog that makes you want to stuff everything in sight into your mouth. Never felt the shakes, never tried to hide it from anyone(so as not to scare them). Never burst out in tears because you’re just so not strong, just so tired of the endless procession of lows that aren’t manageable-aren’t avoidable. Never passed out, never woken up to the paramedics, never been throughly chastised for what one did/didn’t do to prevent this.
And the ones who have(the ones who have diabetes) and tell you this, are probably control freaks themselves(like Dr. Bernstein).Because every good endo(with or without D) is not going to tell you that D's going to be just peachy.
Not that strong. Not now, not ever, stupid diabetes. Lows seem to combine all the insecurities I feel about diabetes. Lows are the thing we can't control. We are at the mercy of an unpredictible drug, which does whatsoever it wants, whensoever it wants.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
And the I's have It
Idog:
Ipod: (yup, a new one..couldn't fix the Minis)
Ibrainfog:
Ipump:
Ivisit Ithamologist:
Iget: good report(on neuro front, regular dilation next year) but I'm not sure I wanted needed to know 70% of all D's have traces of retinopathy by 20 years...
Imeter:
Ishoot:
Ifloat(in Diet Coke):
The End.
-----------------
I've worked out twice this week, once on the treadmill, once on the funky arm-leg machine(can't recall what its named). Both times,didn't have any problems with hypo's,(ended up 140,150) but the other machine burned glucose at about 3x the rate of the treadmill. Which explains why I didn't last long(energywise-as I still could have done another 15 minutes before getting low), that machine is a killer. Should have done more, as I've had to eat way too much candy so as not to offend certain coworkers, landlady, etc.
Me: (joking) Darn it, this is the 3rd time this week you've given me candy. My endocrinologist is going to murder you when I get the next a1c.
Coworker: Don't eat it all at once, work it in to your plan!
As much as I like candy, I can't very easily work 60 pieces in(maybe over the course of the next year)..But I know she didn't want it, and I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
Landlady: Here, have some candy. I can't bear to throw it out.
Me: Ok.
(Landlady is not one of the individuals who gets to know about the D) Besides, you do not say NO to the landlady, ever.
I will probably make up a collection box to donate to the food bank.
----------
Going to a baby shower tonight for one SIL, her family is hosting a huge dinner, etc. Coming from a family of 10 kids, its sure to be homemade,delicious, and plentiful. Need to fill up my resevoir to the 300 U mark today. The guys, of course, will be doing manly things(shooting off guns)after the meal. While the females ooh/ahh over baby stuff..
Threw up once this week,it's actually been a pretty good week. I love this time of year-the leaves, the hot chocolate, the overtime..(not!)
This is a really busy time of year, won't slow down till mid December(when all of our Christmasy stuff has been shipped to the stores). I get good gift ideas, seeing what all goes to the stores. Next weekend, we'll get a 20% discount off at our stores so I'll probably go and buy up the stuff I've seen and wished I could have..
Ipod: (yup, a new one..couldn't fix the Minis)
Ibrainfog:
Ipump:
Ivisit Ithamologist:
Iget: good report(on neuro front, regular dilation next year) but I'm not sure I wanted needed to know 70% of all D's have traces of retinopathy by 20 years...
Imeter:
Ishoot:
Ifloat(in Diet Coke):
The End.
-----------------
I've worked out twice this week, once on the treadmill, once on the funky arm-leg machine(can't recall what its named). Both times,didn't have any problems with hypo's,(ended up 140,150) but the other machine burned glucose at about 3x the rate of the treadmill. Which explains why I didn't last long(energywise-as I still could have done another 15 minutes before getting low), that machine is a killer. Should have done more, as I've had to eat way too much candy so as not to offend certain coworkers, landlady, etc.
Me: (joking) Darn it, this is the 3rd time this week you've given me candy. My endocrinologist is going to murder you when I get the next a1c.
Coworker: Don't eat it all at once, work it in to your plan!
As much as I like candy, I can't very easily work 60 pieces in(maybe over the course of the next year)..But I know she didn't want it, and I don't like to hurt people's feelings.
Landlady: Here, have some candy. I can't bear to throw it out.
Me: Ok.
(Landlady is not one of the individuals who gets to know about the D) Besides, you do not say NO to the landlady, ever.
I will probably make up a collection box to donate to the food bank.
----------
Going to a baby shower tonight for one SIL, her family is hosting a huge dinner, etc. Coming from a family of 10 kids, its sure to be homemade,delicious, and plentiful. Need to fill up my resevoir to the 300 U mark today. The guys, of course, will be doing manly things(shooting off guns)after the meal. While the females ooh/ahh over baby stuff..
Threw up once this week,it's actually been a pretty good week. I love this time of year-the leaves, the hot chocolate, the overtime..(not!)
This is a really busy time of year, won't slow down till mid December(when all of our Christmasy stuff has been shipped to the stores). I get good gift ideas, seeing what all goes to the stores. Next weekend, we'll get a 20% discount off at our stores so I'll probably go and buy up the stuff I've seen and wished I could have..
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