Project: Pumpway

Welcome, designers. I'm Heidi- and regretfully, my last name does not start with a "K." I have no fashion sense whatsoever and haven't picked up a (sewing)needle since the 10th grade.Coincidentally,the only time in my life I could have really given the modeling career a run for its money.(all 90 lbs of me, insulin therapy immeadiently packed on 40)
Regardless, the daily challenges of wearing a 4x2 piece of hardware(or several pieces of hardware) tax even the most fashion forward of us. We need help.
(myself included)

Your Challenge:
Look, study, and tell me which of the following disasters are the absolute worst.

The "Why can't my pump fit into the blasted coin pouch" look:















Da "sock, up the leg" scenario:


















Not just for looks:
(the pouch)



















Tourniquet on the lower extremities:















EMT girl:
(complete with accessories)















Gothic Girl:
(Stop worrying,I'm not goth.It's just fun to mess with people's minds sometimes + have them totally ignore me.)














One last request before I Auf Wiedersehen. Email Bravo and tell them this would make an excellent upcoming episode.(an outfit that compliments,hides a pump)Thousands of pump-wearing D's would immeadiently become loyal viewers.

Danke, meine Freunde.

The Type 1 Mom Fight Song

Nightmares

It's just after midnight...and I'm having premonitions that this is not going to be a good week. Awesome weather today, until it clouded up + commenced to dumping rain. So goes the day..so goes the week. Similarly, the retail(Presidential Day savings, spending) therapy was going well till my stomach started pitching fits + I had to drive back home. Drowned my sorrows in some zofran, and the gastro docs office didn't call me back. Then my groin went numb.(yeah, you probably didn't want to read that)and a panicky call to the on-call dr looks like tomorrow is going to have some more
tests in it.(bad time for the back to act up,I can't even handle the other issue)
Was hoping to go down to Virginia for a few days but I don't think thats going to be possible. I can't eat,sleep, or be nice to any of my family members.(not a good time to go visiting) My brother won't make it back till sometime next month, he's doing whatever they do to you post Iraq.

P.S. I Love You

First there was this...
(highs in general..this is an old pic):














followed by a zillion and half boluses and shots of this:















I was the insulin-o-holic, must have taken twice my normal tdd.
Then, came these:















Vain attempts at this:














Pain, vomitting, all that stuff. Finally the blood sugars go down only I have the opposite problem and keeping bgs up is more then impossible. The dr, of course, can't see me to the next week so I go to the ER, get reassurance that it isn't something thats going to kill me in the next 12 hours, get drugged and things improve for the next day. Comes back with a vengeance the following day and those two weekend days are impossibly long. Gatoraide is all I can handle. Monday morning,I have starvation ketones + my dr panics and sends me to the ER again where I look like a grand royal idiot(bgs are normal, not in keto) but I get re hydrated again and some better drugs so it wasn't a total waste.

Post V-Day:















Some incredibly romantic pictures of my esophagus. Husband is out of town on a business trip(incredibly poor timing, on the part of said employer) but it was unavoidable.(Six..more..days...till..he..returns..ugh)A friend drove me there/back.(for the endoscopy) I have had one before, so I knew what to expect. Didn't wear the dexcom, and bgs went from 153 to 123. (pretty good in my book) Of course, they didn't know anything about the pump and the basal rate keeping things normal so I just ignored their helpful advice about cutting the insulin in half. Not applicable to me. I wake up, the gastro doctor comes in and delivers me the report. Esophogitis. Hiatal Hernia. Strangely enough, its relieving to hear, at least there are no ulcers. From the state of my innards, I would have sworn to the entire tract being that way. So they did a biopsy but I well suspect its from the fact that I always take ibuprofen for every ache/pain, not Tylenol because I don't want to cook my liver. Iboprofen days came to an abrupt end when this all started. Stopped one med, increased another + will wait for things to improve or biopsy results before the follow-up appointment. If things don't improve, they'll do a barium test. Although they have already, keeping everything down now.Definably a plus in my book. I just wish that diabetes wasn't such a issue with everything, even when one thing isn't that bad the diabetes will screw you up if it gets half a chance. Ah well,life goes on, and you gotta roll with the punches.

The Top Ten Signs That You're Entirely Too Young to Have Diabetes

1. The pharmacy clerk laughs at you when you try to buy syringes. "You might hurt yourself, sweetie, these aren't for playing with and you WILL grow up someday. No need to take those nasty growth hormones."

2. The pharmacy clerk demands to see 2 forms of identification, a current photo id, and your mother before she'll sell you any lancets.

3. You're the only one in the Endocrine waiting room without gray hair. (Maybe with any hair at all..)

4. You don't know how to spell "Diabetiphobia", nor have any inclination what it might mean.

5. "Blind Man's Bluff" was just a game to you...not real life.

6. Jelly Beans are entirely reserved for hypos, not normal kid treats.

7. The initials "J.D." behind your name do not stand for Judiciary Doctor, they stand for Juvenile Diabetic.

8. When your pump alarms in the middle of the night, it must be time for another round of you know what.."Honey,wake up! My thing just went off!" (Although,in all honesty, if your looking for a good vibrator the Dexcom is tops. Shakes the whole house.)

9. Be the only normal weight person(school or work) on a "diet"...

10. You hate getting drunk, it resembles a serious hypo too much.(and, it often leads to serious hypos)Therefore, you're the most sober 26 year old on the block.
Total limit: 2 drinks.

Match Day

In medical schools all across the the United States,March (20) is a red letter day.Thousands of 4th year medical students will meet their destiny, as they open up their little white envelope assigning them to their residency program at University X. Shrieks of joy/despair will echo through the hallways...

I kinda know what that feels like,now.














Tuesday is gonna be quite, wild. I am not pleased about where they put me,I'd far rather be in MY county.(10 minutes away, vs hours)

Emails from Iraq

Initially, my brother thought he wasn't coming home till late Feb.-March..but plans changed and he's scheduled to come home next week.. hoping he avoids any sort of disaster in the last couple of days before flying out..

Yay! it will be one huge relief to see him again, so many troops never come home.

Semper Fi!

Back in the Game

"Finger, please."

Swab, poke. First one for the meter, second one for the DCA 2000 Analyzer sitting atop the counter.

"376."

"I am not 376, I just ate lunch and tested 15 min.ago(an hour post lunch) and I'm 250. That's why,I'm on a post meal high. Your machine is screwy."

"Well, ok. You can tell the doctor that."

Shuffle, shuffle through the venerable hallowed Joslin halls. So famous, so much history with that place. And today, it seems to be very empty, not many patients lurkin' round.

Later...

Endo comes in.

"We meet at last! it's been a long time since she(ex-endo) said you were coming."

"Yeah...part moving, part lazyness, part difficulty getting a slot on your calender."

Picks up phone. "Hello, I'd like X's a1c, please."

I start hyperventilating. This is not cool, being accosted by your a1c first thing, I've never had a finger stick a1c before. This is too sudden, this doesn't have that comfortable little 2 week "bump" while you wait for the mail. I'm not ready for this.

If its higher,I think I'm going to demand a venous draw.

"8.5"

Exhallllle. Well, its down.

"A slight improvement there, your last one was 8.7. But you know you can't get pregnant till your under 7."

No worries there, if I had an a1c of 7, such permission would not tempt me. I need at least 10 years to mentally prepare for the very concept of such a life altering event. Suffice to say, I think I will be hearing this till 2040 anyway.It's ok though, she's just doing her job.

We rehash my bgs..Joslin has some awesome logs. You can record everything there.
It just takes forever. I get the needed prescriptions at the end.

So small steps..and an a1c drop of 0.2 really feels like announcing that you've just lost 2 lbs(my husband stared at me blankly when I announced that, wasn't impressed) but it upped my spirits so I don't care what the rest of the world thinks. I'm gonna get there. And if its 0.1 at a time that's still progress.

Green Glucose Tabs and Ham

I wish to dedicate this poem to the below blood glucose number, without which I would be just another uninspired
writer. I really enjoyed Amy's Dr.Seuss poem(Diabetes Mine), but it almost feels like someone has already written a diabetes poem about this.(if there is, I will delete this immeadiently and stop the infringing on their masterpiece)















I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am.


That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
green glucose tablets and fat-free-ham?

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green glucose tablets and fake ham.

Would you like lows
here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.


Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.

I could have one in a car
An ambulance, is never far.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in wild cherry!

I would not, could not, in that taste
Produces such a nasty paste.

Would you, could you, on a plane?
Would you, could you, in the rain?

I could have one in the rain
Liquify my half mushed brain
I could have one on a plane
Pretzel carbs, alas, in vain.

Would you, could you, in a store?
Would you, could you, out the door?

I could have one out the door
Grab two tabs, and search for more
I could have one in a store
Earthquakes radiate my core.

Would you, could you, at the docs?
Would you, could you, as a jock?

I could have one at the doc's
Guzzle juice, to stop the shocks
I could never be a jock
Fastest one against the clock.

Would you, could you, in a chair
While the dentist pokes in there?
Whould you, could you, on a date
Sweetness just a tad too late?

I could have one in the chair
(Novocaine makes that quite rare)
I could have one on a date
Petrify potential mates.

I do not like them, Sam I am
I do not like those hypo jams!

Would you, could you, after lunch?
Would you, could you, in a crunch?

I could have one after lunch
Yell at folks and take a punch
I could have one in a crunch
Diabetes, thanks a bunch!

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I could have one in the dark
Hand feeds mouth(the hungry shark)

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

I have tried them, Sam.

I have tried them in the car
I have tried them on a plane
I have tried them in the rain
I have tried them out the door
I have tried them in a store
I have tried them at the docs
I have tried them in my futile attempts at being a jock.
I have tried them in the chair
I have tried them on a date
I have tried them after lunch
I have tried them in a crunch
I have tried them in the dark
I have tried them here and there
I have tried them everywhere.

I do not like those hypo jams
I do not like them, Sam I Am!

I will try the tabs and ham
Maybe you got a bad bunch from CamAm...

Say! You are right
This combo, it is way too light.
We will get the real stuff then,
Repeat the whole darn book again.

A Sunny/Rainy Day Package

I would like to thank my secret(well, not anymore) sussy giver..

she did great at picking out just what I wanted. Seriously, it's like she could read my mind. Even though it was cold/rainy when it came, it made the day a bit sunnier.

First out of the box:
















with this:



















Thank you, thank you, thank you. I need some de-stressing therapy, I can't wait to try it out at my next endo appt.,sometimes I desperately need to whap something.(or someone,unfortunately thats just not an option no matter how much of a jerk they're being)
And just in time, for those insanely cold winter nights:














With a Minnesota state pin + mini name keychain. I don't have any pins from there yet, so this definatly a new one for my collection.
And this, for my chocolate-nut addiction:















Lastly, a memo note pad:














Thanks, Minnesota Nice!

Unearthed

A FFL goodie, stuck on my cellphone:













I was quite possibly the only one (over the age of 6) who had fun, doing this. It was a focus group sponsored by Abbott(Theme:How do you feel about your meter?) and you had to cut/paste stuff from magazines. I choose food, because thats the simplest concept I could find. Without meters...we would be stuck back in the 20th century, testing our urine + on a very strict diet. No wedding cakes, cookies, baked hams,pies, cobblers and a thousand other very wonderful goodies.I also put 15 items on the page(which was a stretch, it got pretty cramped!)and in the crunch for time, not all the stuff was food related.

Choices & Craigslist

Well, I did it, I sold something on Craigslist. It is a whole other game from Ebay, because you have to go out and MEET the person somewhere. You don't know if they're a mass murderer or what. I wish I knew karate, or something.(if I'm going to be doing this on a regular basis)MD is one of those "May (not) Issue" concealed weapon permit states, vs VA(one of those "Shall Issue to every Joe Blow under the Sun" states). Fortuantly, the person didn't do any of that, but it was a very anxious half hour. A gun,(in the vehicle) would give me so much more presence of mind.(I'm a
5"2 petite gal, do you blame me? it wouldn't take much to do me in) Met in a very public place(to attempt to be as safe as possible).

The recent news RE immunosuppressive free transplantees is extremely interesting to me. For many people with diabetes, this could be BIG. (if they could get it to work with the pancreas/islets)Knock off the nasty drugs, and wouldn't a transplant do more good then harm? Obviously, so people have transplants and have nothing but problems(from acne to Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome)but most people do pretty well. Why they can't predict any of this is frustrating. This is the 21st century, The Golden Age of DNA Research- and the secret of the cell lies just as locked as its ever been. Why they can't they run a test and tell you what kind of drug you need(based on how your DNA is) instead of trying them all out.

Personally, I have no problems with people getting pancreas + islets transplants. More power to them, they know what they're getting into(and what they're trying to leave behind) They've lived a life of diabetes, and are exhausted by it(body and soul)The chance to start clean is either necessary(for survival)or very much longed for. They're not "failures" or "weak." Alot of people with diabetes seem to have this idea that a transplant is a copout,(some of those people could really use a transplant themselves, have horrible hypo unawareness) but man, these people are just trying to make it. If I were in that situation(kidney failure, retinopathy, severe hypo unawareness with no CGMS, other complications) you'd better believe I'd want a transplant. There is a limit to my macho-ness(see below!)
KF=need for immuno drugs anyway,retinopathy= going blind(high probability + I do not handle blindness well), and hypo unaware=gambling with your life on a regular basis.
Right now I am blessed to be in (relatively) good health but the day may come that I go down that road myself, and its not as scary to me as the never ending list of things that diabetes can do to one.

Genuinely Sussified

I have been Dexcomless for the past two weeks, and the bgs have reflected that. Mostly highs(flirting with lows scares me, so I preferred to ruin my next a1c,its better then not waking up the next morning). Managed to lose(throw away???) my transmitter. The transmitter is that $250 piece that snaps into the sensor. Dexcom generously agreed to send me a new sensor out with my sensor shipment. Wellllllll, that didn't happen(shipment #1) so it took a couple of weeks to finally get one.(but at least they didn't charge me:)

As expected, it spat out a nice reading somewhere in the mid 300's. I bolus, eat
lunch.












One of these:














unfortunately doesn't help.(so much for limiting sugar binges,at 18 carbs/pack of 2 it really is a tasty little snack)15 minutes later and I'm in need of a juice box.Welcome back to good control.

Finally got my Dexcom computer program installed, so I will be able to see the trends,
etc.I've never really done anything like this before(even with a meter),I'm not
that hard core of a diabetic. I've got to make the technology work for me, it does no good if I have it/don't use it.












And...one lucky person will get THIS:
(as I squeak by the deadline by a measly 2 days)
I'm also eagerly anticipating my OWN sussy arrival!

Some Snowy Day Humor

posted on Craigslist:
(1/17/08)

Snow removal for as low as $25

another posting:(a short time later)

Come on over you can have all the snow you want for free, don't even have to pay me the $25.

(I'll wait for the snowplows,thanks)

recent keyword activity:

-antismoling(word of the day)
I think they meant anti smoking...
because that's where they ended up!
Kinda cool word though, if it ever made it into existence. What would it mean, being against using smoke to drive out moles in the ground?

It's Still Dia-be-tes to Me

Whats the matter with the shirt I'm wearing
Can't you tell that it's stained with pies
Maybe I should buy some old TesTape
Welcome back to the Age of Lies.

Where have you been hiding out lately, honey
A cure ain't cheap, gonna take a ton of money
Everyone's talking 'bout the new craze, funny
but its still Suckage City to me..

What's the matter with the strips I'm using
Can't you tell that they're out of date
Should I get a new CWD t-shirt
Maybe, if you're looking for a type 1 mate..
Nowadays, you can't be too sentimental
Get off the NPH, bgs will be a lot more gentle
Hot Pink,Wild Mink, every time a coin clinks
It's still the big 'beates to me.


Ohhhh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers
cuz it's always been the same old stuff
Highs-lows-money woes- trying to act like you're big and tough
We've all had more then enough.
(as the patience factor collectively goes puff...)

How about mix of purple Deltec
And a Flash, just for show
You could really be in the "in" crowd
If you'd just stop jabbing through the pants
Don't waste your money on a pair of "D" socks
It's a marketing scheme, one huge gigantic hoax
The quick buck,big crook,no luck, major suck
And it's not a good buy for me.


What's the matter with the greens I'm eating
(At the moment, your bg is way too low)
Should I try to have a 4.5 a1c
If you do, then you care too much.
Don't you know about the new research,buddy
Too many hypos will sap all your brain(cells) and money
It's the dream shot,cool thought,tough knot, no one's fault
But it's still too darn risky for me.

Everybody's talking 'bout the new D
funny
but it's still just the same for me..

it isn't really going anywhere!

You've Got Mail!

My new mouse pad, with that special MiniMed touch.










Go HERE. This thing rocks,
I can actually read the lettering (now)without putting my old person glasses on.
.










FREE STUFF!(certificate)
-Facing the Giants DVD
-2 Liter Dr Pepper Product
-3 pk Pop Secret popcorn pack
(date night, here we come!)















Glucerna coupons. If there's a national disaster, I'm sure I'll be glad for whatever form of sustenance may come my way.(including disgusting nutritional drinks)














My New Years Resolution(s) included eating more nuts. First step in that direction,getting a nutcracker. Macadamia nuts are great, but impossible to crack
and we've got a slew of them(compliments of in-laws). If this doesn't work, its time
to get a vice.

Funny how all of my mail today could be considered diabetes related...(item #3,for emotional health in dealing with the day-to-day crud)

I Do, I Do, I Do

In this fair city of 1 million plus, it seems to be impossible to get an endocrinology appointment ANYWHERE.(that is, until April) I just about died when the receptionist told me that, down where I used to live endocrinology was not the hot field- you could get in practically anytime + you never had to wait more then a week. Heck, if it were really an emergency they'd always manage to squeeze you in. I don't need an appt. urgently, but like any good little pwd I figured between 3-4 months was best. I would kinda like to know what my new and improved(big woot for Dexcom!) a1c is, and on the incessant nagging of my new pcp I bit the bullet to schedule it. I really just don't have any luck with convincing primary care doctors that I'm not the worst D to walk the earth. My new one is good enough, just (over) zealous to make me into something I'm not. (super bg control,etc.) Also...need 10 zillion rx's written and a new appeal to the new insurance company to cover sensors. Which is gonna take awhile(if ever) to get them covered, but since the authorization codes just came out there's more hope then there was. I know my old endo could be counted on (in a pinch), but she's 300 miles away + probably more then ready to get me out of her hair.

I miss cows.
I miss corn.
I miss not having to lock your doors at night.
I miss DMV"s that aren't as complicated as Grand Central Station.
I miss minor traffic jams(once every month, vs. twice a day)
I miss cashiers who actually give a rap.
I miss cashiers who actually speak English.
I miss mountains.
I miss live receptionists, not answering machines.
I miss cheap grocery stores.
I miss my favorite radio shows.
I miss grits, cornbread, and all foods Southern.
I miss arguing with my coworkers over elections
I miss nights on the 'squad
I miss my superly unorganized refridgerator
I miss hot dog eating contests
I miss snow that actually requires shoveling out
I miss horses + buggies
I miss farmer's markets
I miss parking spots(vs having to park 2 blocks away), half empty parking lots

I like the city..to a point. The shopper in me has a blast, but the sheer mass of individuals flooding said stores makes it impossible to get much of anything accomplished. I could hit a slew of stores + get all my shopping accomplished quickly- now I have to spend all day driving around.

In the Bleak Midwinter

...something lives still.

Cops: Edition 301

"Hands on the hood, now!"


I've just gotten back into my car + a 2.5 hr trip to the MVA,(aka Department of Motor Vehicles)where I've spent enough money to take a family of four out to a nice restaurant. Sad thing is, I've only managed to acquire a lisence- not my registration + new tags.Before I can get those, I've got to get my stupid car inspected/get new insurance. So many things to do, and all dependent on government + the USPS.(changing one's name is a humongous hassle)
That-and the state of MD's New Year's present to everyone was a 1% jump in the sales tax.(5 to 6%)

207 on my Dex, but lately its been about 40 points off so I know I'm almost in range.Walking will PUT me in range, by supper time.

"Lay off me man, I ain't doin' nothin!"

A nice, quiet, suburban Kmart parking lot. 3 cops jump out + start banging on the windshield, force the occupants of the red car out.

"You've got stolen merchandise in your vehicle. Or is it even yours?"

"Its my friends."

"Hands on the hood-whats your friend's name?"

"Its ---"

"What's her phone number?"

"Man, I dunno, its just his car."

"You just said it was a her.Which is it?"

Handcuffs come out, cussing, on the ground. This is like the unedited edition of a Cops episode.

3 more cops cars show up.

They start pulling things from the car-sneakers, dvds, bags of clothing from Macys. The yelling continues, + the senior cop is getting annoyed.

"Ok, listen up- you've got 10 seconds to tell me where you got this stuff before your little misdemeanor charges become a felony + you go to jail for a LOT longer."

He counts:

"10...9...8..7...6...5...4...3...2....1...0. Congratulations, you've booked yourselves a felony."

The hair on the back of my neck prickles, man this cop is tough. Really glad its not me, on his bad side.

Escort occupants of red(stolen?) vehicle to cop cars, drives off. The other cops continue pulling stuff out of the car.

Some people have worse problems then I do, it all helped put things in perspective.I'm grateful to have been raised right.

2007 in Review

January:

Two Guys on a Roof


February:

Out of The Dark Side


March:

8 tips to appearing on TV


April:

Dreamcatcher


May:

Ballad of a Beta Queen


June:

Grass Green: Color my Yard Sale


July:

Leavin' on a Jet Plane


August:

The Element of Glucose


September:

A Freudian Self-Analysis


October:

Joining the Ranks

November:

Days of Our Lives(Chapter 2)


December:

Reflections..on the OC Challenge