Because

Because we seek control, we mutilate our fingers 10 or more(or less) times a day and insert sharp objects into our skin to deliver medication. This may be the 21st century, so is still so much that is archaic about this disease. (like peeing on a test strip)

Because we seek control, a "perfect pregnancy" not only exists, it must exist. The challenges of a normal pregnancy with all the fun of diabetes thrown in. Mentally worrying over every high; every slip up is not only bad for you, its potentially disastrous to the little one you're carrying.

Because we seek control, yearly visits to the eye doc to have painful dilation drops and(potentially) lasers beaming up the the bad vessels in our eyes is the gold standard of good care.

Because we seek control, our exercise routines consist of eating twice as many calories as we burn off, in the attempt to prevent low blood sugars.(or treating them)

Because we seek control, we're up at 3 AM, dealing with a high or low blood sugar.

Because we seek control, a new pair of shoes is judged mainly on it's ability to not cause calluses/infection/subsequent amputations, not it's visible appeal.

Because we seek control, a hospitalization is not the time to turn over your D-care to the experts because most of the time, the experts know even less then you and you'll be even sicker if you did it their way.(Except if your endo is on staff and even then they ignore her orders)

Because we seek control, the "stackable" bolus that we took at 10,12, and 2 has just now hit the fan and we're tanking like a rock and have to start eating again.

Because we seek control, we trust our lives to a liquid that loses potency out of a very delicate temperature range. Freeze or bake, (it's toast) you're toast.

Because we seek control, exercise is twice as important to us then to the non-diabetic. Keeping the bg down, keeping the heart healthy- heart disease is the highest morbidity for the D and you don't have to be old to have a heart attack. You just have to be D.(according to the medical profession)

Because we seek control, we're forced to ride out huge chunks of time in the 80-100 mg/dl spot and be as cranky as heck that we can't overeat and end this feeling of hyponess. Or at least I do. Not that it isn't an excellent bg range, its just when you're used to much higher it makes you feel fairly irratable.

Because we seek control, we drive great distances in search of the perfect endocrinologist.

Because we seek control, denial isn't just a River in Egypt- it's a one-way ticket to Complications City.

Because we seek control, we spend hours of our free time glued to the internet in search of information and support.

Because we seek control, we're a little OCD about the type of meter we use and if it's not the right kind we don't really "trust" it.

Because we seek control, it's not just physical control we must achieve, it's also mental. Not responding in anger to the idiot who asks "Should you be eating that?" is often difficult, if not impossible. Unfortunately, it is an occurrence that will repeat itself thousands of times throughout the life of a PWD and one that you'd suppose you'd eventually get used to and a pro at handling.

Because we seek control, no a1c is truly low enough and if you're over 8, you'd rather not discuss it, especially if the rest of the blog-o-sphere is under 7.

Because we seek control, we chose salad over fries-making the choice not only for ourselves but for the loved ones who want us around a little longer.

Because we seek control, we realize that the state of medical care available today is abysmal for many people and something had better change or we'll all end up with type 2 diabetes, complications galore, and no one to care for anybody.

Because we seek control, sometimes we have to ditch the books(and the subsequent studying for the horrendous test the next day) to go the pump club meeting. We need to know that we are not alone.

Because we seek control, we realize that perfect control really doesn't exist + all we can do is our best. To live, to laugh, and to love-to stick it to the D. Whatever your philosophy, life is a journey, realizing that the D is part of it but not all of it and not something that should own you.

Ten Things I'd like my Doctor to Know

#1 This isn't a confessional, and likely neither of us is Catholic so don't turn it into a guiltfest. Yes, I messed up. I'm only human, and the large gaps in my logbook void of any carb count info whatsoever can be expected. I'll try to do better.

#2 Don't tell me I'm too young for x, y, and z. Anything is possible, everything is probable, and stranger things have happened.

#3 Don't tell me I lucked out by having a weird genetic thing. Luck is not the term for it, luck is REALLY not the term for it. Trial by fire is the term for it. It's a medical condition and no medical condition is particularly pleasant, especially not one that requires weekly electrolyte infusions + over time,(like about the time it takes for diabetes to kill the kidneys) can cause kidney failure although that's pretty rare. The only cure, is a kidney transplant sometimes they transplant even if the rest of your kidney function is ok. Which mine is. And I don't want a transplant, although if kidney failure ever necessitates one I'd have a double advantage.

#4 I've probably had diabetes longer then you've been practicing medicine so I'd appreciate you showing a little trust.(if you're not an endo, please don't play one) I know how serious diabetes can be.

#5 I dislike insurance companies just as much as you do, they never have the best interests of the patient in mind.

#6 If there's ever a cure for diabetes, I'm taking you out to lunch.

#7 Diet Coke is on top of the food pyramid. I cannot stop drinking it.

#8 This is a partnership + I wish to be treated as comprehending 75% of what you are actually saying. It will eventually sink in.(forgive me if I don't quite understand how the Loop of Henle reabsorbs,absorbs, and fails to absorb) Every case is different, so I'm guessing not even you have things entirely figured out as it pertains to mine.

#9 A hypo, is a force not to be reckoned with.It's like being starved for a week and then let loose at a Chinese buffet, it is very hard not to go completely wild.

#10 Watching more episodes of shows like House...will greatly improve your ability to relate with your patients. That's where they get 99% of their medical knowledge anyway.
(season premiere tonight,btw!)

The Top Ten Signs That You're Entirely Too Young to Have Diabetes

1. The pharmacy clerk laughs at you when you try to buy syringes. "You might hurt yourself, sweetie, these aren't for playing with and you WILL grow up someday. No need to take those nasty growth hormones."

2. The pharmacy clerk demands to see 2 forms of identification, a current photo id, and your mother before she'll sell you any lancets.

3. You're the only one in the Endocrine waiting room without gray hair. (Maybe with any hair at all..)

4. You don't know how to spell "Diabetiphobia", nor have any inclination what it might mean.

5. "Blind Man's Bluff" was just a game to you...not real life.

6. Jelly Beans are entirely reserved for hypos, not normal kid treats.

7. The initials "J.D." behind your name do not stand for Judiciary Doctor, they stand for Juvenile Diabetic.

8. When your pump alarms in the middle of the night, it must be time for another round of you know what.."Honey,wake up! My thing just went off!" (Although,in all honesty, if your looking for a good vibrator the Dexcom is tops. Shakes the whole house.)

9. Be the only normal weight person(school or work) on a "diet"...

10. You hate getting drunk, it resembles a serious hypo too much.(and, it often leads to serious hypos)Therefore, you're the most sober 26 year old on the block.
Total limit: 2 drinks.