Friday, August 04, 2006

Second Chances

I'm once again sitting at my very favorite spot of the month- low.
This time, however, a bag of cotten candy, tube of glucose gel, juice box, french fries, chicken sandwich, diet coke(to wash it all down) and a new Rx for glucagon keep me company-no repeats of the former episode.
It's very odd how one can feel low/simultainiously run out of gas at the EXACT same spot..
"What's that, honey?" asks the distracted, overworked cashier.
"Twelve. Pump. Twelllllllllve," I reply, thinking how very un-honeyish (NOT sweet) I am feeling at the moment. C'mon Cotten Candy- work your magic. I'm getting annoyed at being called honey too(3rd straight time that day).
Flashback to that morning.
It's a typical Friday at the Endocrine Clinic-only the patient load is different. Instead of 99.9% of the patients being part of the customary Over 60,Type 2, and yes-I-check-my-blood-sugar-once a-month-Club, they are now joined by the Extatic, Expectant Mothers to be.(both types)
And then there's me- too young and too hopelessly single.
I grab the nearest People magazine + dissapeir into it, I don't want to be noticed.
"Heidi?" inquires the nurse.
I lower the magazine half a cubic inch to determine whether she's addressing me or not. Upon proof of the said fact, I toss the magazine aside + go off with the nurse.(kind of glad to get out of there, actually)
Vital signs look good.
Medical student comes in. I get the disturbing feeling that this kid is YOUNGER then me, especially if she was one of those smart types to graduate at 20. She looks too young.
Suddenly, I feel very old( rapidly approaching birthday is NOT helping) -there was a time I considered medical students old + looked up to them. (that was pre-20's) Now medical students are either my age, or younger then me + even residents don't look old. (Attendings still do, however!) I'm aware of how much I still don't know + how much less they don't know that they should know. (about everything, and especially diabetes!)
Customary round of questions. Not that bad a student, she's not acting like she knows everything + she is NOT pregnant. (Endocrine residents/students frequently are) I don't want to see another pregnant person today.
My endo comes in. "You know, you're the first patient I've ever had to have the exact same a1c FOUR times in a row. How do you do it?"
I grin (not at the a1c). "I've always done that, even in peds."
"We'll repeat it today, hopefully its gone down."
Discuss hypo episode.
Glucagon RX. "I'll write you for two/month's supply, but if you use 2 in one month I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT!!!!"
I promise. Well, I would tell her about it on just one...bad hypo episodes scare the stuffing out of me.
Ask Stupid Question of the Day.
Get Intelligent Answer to Stupid Question of the Day.
All questions being answered, I go off to the lab for my very favorite phlebotomist to skillfully extract a vial of glucose enriched blood. Guy can get blood out of ANYTHING painlessly.
If its under 8, I'll be a happy woman.
Swear to fax in readings faithfully. (weekly) For an a1c under 7, its going to take months. (and some excellent insulin tweaking skills)
Ready now to kick some diabetic gluteus maximus, I check my blood sugar, bolus an appropriate correction, and start to drive home.
45 minutes later, get low. Pull into gas station.
There goes my motivation.

1 comment:

Scott K. Johnson said...

Isn't it just crappy how fast our good intentions can be blown out of the water?

Those lows that you experience are just plain scary, and I can totally see why you might run higher to shy away from them.