A Sunny/Rainy Day Package

I would like to thank my secret(well, not anymore) sussy giver..

she did great at picking out just what I wanted. Seriously, it's like she could read my mind. Even though it was cold/rainy when it came, it made the day a bit sunnier.

First out of the box:
















with this:



















Thank you, thank you, thank you. I need some de-stressing therapy, I can't wait to try it out at my next endo appt.,sometimes I desperately need to whap something.(or someone,unfortunately thats just not an option no matter how much of a jerk they're being)
And just in time, for those insanely cold winter nights:














With a Minnesota state pin + mini name keychain. I don't have any pins from there yet, so this definatly a new one for my collection.
And this, for my chocolate-nut addiction:















Lastly, a memo note pad:














Thanks, Minnesota Nice!

Unearthed

A FFL goodie, stuck on my cellphone:













I was quite possibly the only one (over the age of 6) who had fun, doing this. It was a focus group sponsored by Abbott(Theme:How do you feel about your meter?) and you had to cut/paste stuff from magazines. I choose food, because thats the simplest concept I could find. Without meters...we would be stuck back in the 20th century, testing our urine + on a very strict diet. No wedding cakes, cookies, baked hams,pies, cobblers and a thousand other very wonderful goodies.I also put 15 items on the page(which was a stretch, it got pretty cramped!)and in the crunch for time, not all the stuff was food related.

Choices & Craigslist

Well, I did it, I sold something on Craigslist. It is a whole other game from Ebay, because you have to go out and MEET the person somewhere. You don't know if they're a mass murderer or what. I wish I knew karate, or something.(if I'm going to be doing this on a regular basis)MD is one of those "May (not) Issue" concealed weapon permit states, vs VA(one of those "Shall Issue to every Joe Blow under the Sun" states). Fortuantly, the person didn't do any of that, but it was a very anxious half hour. A gun,(in the vehicle) would give me so much more presence of mind.(I'm a
5"2 petite gal, do you blame me? it wouldn't take much to do me in) Met in a very public place(to attempt to be as safe as possible).

The recent news RE immunosuppressive free transplantees is extremely interesting to me. For many people with diabetes, this could be BIG. (if they could get it to work with the pancreas/islets)Knock off the nasty drugs, and wouldn't a transplant do more good then harm? Obviously, so people have transplants and have nothing but problems(from acne to Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome)but most people do pretty well. Why they can't predict any of this is frustrating. This is the 21st century, The Golden Age of DNA Research- and the secret of the cell lies just as locked as its ever been. Why they can't they run a test and tell you what kind of drug you need(based on how your DNA is) instead of trying them all out.

Personally, I have no problems with people getting pancreas + islets transplants. More power to them, they know what they're getting into(and what they're trying to leave behind) They've lived a life of diabetes, and are exhausted by it(body and soul)The chance to start clean is either necessary(for survival)or very much longed for. They're not "failures" or "weak." Alot of people with diabetes seem to have this idea that a transplant is a copout,(some of those people could really use a transplant themselves, have horrible hypo unawareness) but man, these people are just trying to make it. If I were in that situation(kidney failure, retinopathy, severe hypo unawareness with no CGMS, other complications) you'd better believe I'd want a transplant. There is a limit to my macho-ness(see below!)
KF=need for immuno drugs anyway,retinopathy= going blind(high probability + I do not handle blindness well), and hypo unaware=gambling with your life on a regular basis.
Right now I am blessed to be in (relatively) good health but the day may come that I go down that road myself, and its not as scary to me as the never ending list of things that diabetes can do to one.

Genuinely Sussified

I have been Dexcomless for the past two weeks, and the bgs have reflected that. Mostly highs(flirting with lows scares me, so I preferred to ruin my next a1c,its better then not waking up the next morning). Managed to lose(throw away???) my transmitter. The transmitter is that $250 piece that snaps into the sensor. Dexcom generously agreed to send me a new sensor out with my sensor shipment. Wellllllll, that didn't happen(shipment #1) so it took a couple of weeks to finally get one.(but at least they didn't charge me:)

As expected, it spat out a nice reading somewhere in the mid 300's. I bolus, eat
lunch.












One of these:














unfortunately doesn't help.(so much for limiting sugar binges,at 18 carbs/pack of 2 it really is a tasty little snack)15 minutes later and I'm in need of a juice box.Welcome back to good control.

Finally got my Dexcom computer program installed, so I will be able to see the trends,
etc.I've never really done anything like this before(even with a meter),I'm not
that hard core of a diabetic. I've got to make the technology work for me, it does no good if I have it/don't use it.












And...one lucky person will get THIS:
(as I squeak by the deadline by a measly 2 days)
I'm also eagerly anticipating my OWN sussy arrival!

Some Snowy Day Humor

posted on Craigslist:
(1/17/08)

Snow removal for as low as $25

another posting:(a short time later)

Come on over you can have all the snow you want for free, don't even have to pay me the $25.

(I'll wait for the snowplows,thanks)

recent keyword activity:

-antismoling(word of the day)
I think they meant anti smoking...
because that's where they ended up!
Kinda cool word though, if it ever made it into existence. What would it mean, being against using smoke to drive out moles in the ground?

It's Still Dia-be-tes to Me

Whats the matter with the shirt I'm wearing
Can't you tell that it's stained with pies
Maybe I should buy some old TesTape
Welcome back to the Age of Lies.

Where have you been hiding out lately, honey
A cure ain't cheap, gonna take a ton of money
Everyone's talking 'bout the new craze, funny
but its still Suckage City to me..

What's the matter with the strips I'm using
Can't you tell that they're out of date
Should I get a new CWD t-shirt
Maybe, if you're looking for a type 1 mate..
Nowadays, you can't be too sentimental
Get off the NPH, bgs will be a lot more gentle
Hot Pink,Wild Mink, every time a coin clinks
It's still the big 'beates to me.


Ohhhh, it doesn't matter what they say in the papers
cuz it's always been the same old stuff
Highs-lows-money woes- trying to act like you're big and tough
We've all had more then enough.
(as the patience factor collectively goes puff...)

How about mix of purple Deltec
And a Flash, just for show
You could really be in the "in" crowd
If you'd just stop jabbing through the pants
Don't waste your money on a pair of "D" socks
It's a marketing scheme, one huge gigantic hoax
The quick buck,big crook,no luck, major suck
And it's not a good buy for me.


What's the matter with the greens I'm eating
(At the moment, your bg is way too low)
Should I try to have a 4.5 a1c
If you do, then you care too much.
Don't you know about the new research,buddy
Too many hypos will sap all your brain(cells) and money
It's the dream shot,cool thought,tough knot, no one's fault
But it's still too darn risky for me.

Everybody's talking 'bout the new D
funny
but it's still just the same for me..

it isn't really going anywhere!

You've Got Mail!

My new mouse pad, with that special MiniMed touch.










Go HERE. This thing rocks,
I can actually read the lettering (now)without putting my old person glasses on.
.










FREE STUFF!(certificate)
-Facing the Giants DVD
-2 Liter Dr Pepper Product
-3 pk Pop Secret popcorn pack
(date night, here we come!)















Glucerna coupons. If there's a national disaster, I'm sure I'll be glad for whatever form of sustenance may come my way.(including disgusting nutritional drinks)














My New Years Resolution(s) included eating more nuts. First step in that direction,getting a nutcracker. Macadamia nuts are great, but impossible to crack
and we've got a slew of them(compliments of in-laws). If this doesn't work, its time
to get a vice.

Funny how all of my mail today could be considered diabetes related...(item #3,for emotional health in dealing with the day-to-day crud)

I Do, I Do, I Do

In this fair city of 1 million plus, it seems to be impossible to get an endocrinology appointment ANYWHERE.(that is, until April) I just about died when the receptionist told me that, down where I used to live endocrinology was not the hot field- you could get in practically anytime + you never had to wait more then a week. Heck, if it were really an emergency they'd always manage to squeeze you in. I don't need an appt. urgently, but like any good little pwd I figured between 3-4 months was best. I would kinda like to know what my new and improved(big woot for Dexcom!) a1c is, and on the incessant nagging of my new pcp I bit the bullet to schedule it. I really just don't have any luck with convincing primary care doctors that I'm not the worst D to walk the earth. My new one is good enough, just (over) zealous to make me into something I'm not. (super bg control,etc.) Also...need 10 zillion rx's written and a new appeal to the new insurance company to cover sensors. Which is gonna take awhile(if ever) to get them covered, but since the authorization codes just came out there's more hope then there was. I know my old endo could be counted on (in a pinch), but she's 300 miles away + probably more then ready to get me out of her hair.

I miss cows.
I miss corn.
I miss not having to lock your doors at night.
I miss DMV"s that aren't as complicated as Grand Central Station.
I miss minor traffic jams(once every month, vs. twice a day)
I miss cashiers who actually give a rap.
I miss cashiers who actually speak English.
I miss mountains.
I miss live receptionists, not answering machines.
I miss cheap grocery stores.
I miss my favorite radio shows.
I miss grits, cornbread, and all foods Southern.
I miss arguing with my coworkers over elections
I miss nights on the 'squad
I miss my superly unorganized refridgerator
I miss hot dog eating contests
I miss snow that actually requires shoveling out
I miss horses + buggies
I miss farmer's markets
I miss parking spots(vs having to park 2 blocks away), half empty parking lots

I like the city..to a point. The shopper in me has a blast, but the sheer mass of individuals flooding said stores makes it impossible to get much of anything accomplished. I could hit a slew of stores + get all my shopping accomplished quickly- now I have to spend all day driving around.

In the Bleak Midwinter

...something lives still.

Cops: Edition 301

"Hands on the hood, now!"


I've just gotten back into my car + a 2.5 hr trip to the MVA,(aka Department of Motor Vehicles)where I've spent enough money to take a family of four out to a nice restaurant. Sad thing is, I've only managed to acquire a lisence- not my registration + new tags.Before I can get those, I've got to get my stupid car inspected/get new insurance. So many things to do, and all dependent on government + the USPS.(changing one's name is a humongous hassle)
That-and the state of MD's New Year's present to everyone was a 1% jump in the sales tax.(5 to 6%)

207 on my Dex, but lately its been about 40 points off so I know I'm almost in range.Walking will PUT me in range, by supper time.

"Lay off me man, I ain't doin' nothin!"

A nice, quiet, suburban Kmart parking lot. 3 cops jump out + start banging on the windshield, force the occupants of the red car out.

"You've got stolen merchandise in your vehicle. Or is it even yours?"

"Its my friends."

"Hands on the hood-whats your friend's name?"

"Its ---"

"What's her phone number?"

"Man, I dunno, its just his car."

"You just said it was a her.Which is it?"

Handcuffs come out, cussing, on the ground. This is like the unedited edition of a Cops episode.

3 more cops cars show up.

They start pulling things from the car-sneakers, dvds, bags of clothing from Macys. The yelling continues, + the senior cop is getting annoyed.

"Ok, listen up- you've got 10 seconds to tell me where you got this stuff before your little misdemeanor charges become a felony + you go to jail for a LOT longer."

He counts:

"10...9...8..7...6...5...4...3...2....1...0. Congratulations, you've booked yourselves a felony."

The hair on the back of my neck prickles, man this cop is tough. Really glad its not me, on his bad side.

Escort occupants of red(stolen?) vehicle to cop cars, drives off. The other cops continue pulling stuff out of the car.

Some people have worse problems then I do, it all helped put things in perspective.I'm grateful to have been raised right.

2007 in Review

January:

Two Guys on a Roof


February:

Out of The Dark Side


March:

8 tips to appearing on TV


April:

Dreamcatcher


May:

Ballad of a Beta Queen


June:

Grass Green: Color my Yard Sale


July:

Leavin' on a Jet Plane


August:

The Element of Glucose


September:

A Freudian Self-Analysis


October:

Joining the Ranks

November:

Days of Our Lives(Chapter 2)


December:

Reflections..on the OC Challenge

It's Elementary, of Course

Ongoing series on YouTube, too cute!

Left Coast Christmas

The proof is in the wrapper:








For an East Coaster, eating at a Carl's JR is a surreal experience.(It's HARDEES, people!!!) There's some weird thing tacked onto it now(Green Burrito), because anything thats not really Mexican food is not really popular(out west). But it was cool, regardless of that nagging little feeling that the name was all wrong and it should be Hardees, nationwide.


Had a good trip out west, flew into LAX Saturday night-Sunday morning. Stayed a few days in the SF Valley driving around,finishing up shopping,etc.Went to husbands parents house, stayed till the 26th.

Christmas Day-(morning)celebrations at their house. In the afternoon, went to extended familial Christmas celebrations.
Differences between my family and the rest of civilization:

We don't give socks,shirts,pants, or any other articles of clothing. And we don't open presents one at a time(we'd be all day doing it, due to the largeness of said family). In my new family..the exact opposite is the case. Most of the articles, clothing. I like new clothes but I'm not accustomed to it coming as a gift. And there is always the element of not liking something you've received.Something to get used to.

I was the only person(except for babies/kids) who wasn't drinking alcoholic beverages, eating extremely sugary carbo-laden goodies all day. I ate some,but exercised restraints. And the alcohol, I left alone enterily.(besides being a lightweight, my bgs were doing enough exotic things that day)
I felt, different. All over again. Normal people drink alcohol(several times a week, or more), drink juice for breakfast(I never drink juice, unless I'm having a low)
eat sweets with wild abandon, go out for a walk without computing the am-I-too-high-or-low-for-this? factor and do a ton of other things. You go to someone else's house,(on the other side of the country)and they are extremely wonderful people who would bend over backwards to make you feel welcome but there is no diet coke, nothing remotely healthful,and everyone else is partaking generously of holiday cheer and you can't help but to feel different. Just like that 17 year old, fresh out of the hospital + going into a radically different world. Will it ever change-these occasional flashes of being the alien from another planet?
I'm better at being accommodating + understanding of normal people's habits, but after 9 years the feelings of being different still reemerge and leave me wishing I wasn't different, wasn't the "diabetic," And explaining to another family about the carbs/sweets thing- generally impossible, in the name of politeness you eat SF stuff
and don't eat as much of the good stuff as you'd like.

Thank goodness Christmas is just once a year. Now we'll go down to my families Christmas celebrations, where I repeat the exact same scenario(but with the aid of
Diet Coke, I will prevail)Thank you, Coca Cola. Just once, I'd like to have a Christmas party D-style, fresh fruits/veggies/meats/carbo counts on everything/and no alcohol.(yeah,I know D's can drink alcohol but its just so difficult to figure out)
And no Food Nazis admitted.

Pirate Loot

I love Kmart. Do not particurally enjoy the hours spent in explaining to cashiers,CSR's,and managers how to transact their own promotions, but lets
face it,Harvard graduates do not run this company.(or work in the checkout lanes)If
they did, they wouldn't have these promotions in the first place.Cashed out
big on this promo...$90 investment netted me a cool(well,you can count)and
I hope to go back for more. Hope the stores out in CA are lenient with this promo. Can finally get a new digital camera-my old one hit the dust post-Hawaii(+ I lost the pictures that were on it.(((because I hadn't downloaded them yet)

Cops:Edition 201

The steady click,click, gnawing (precisely like a mouse,and believe me,I know mice) emitting from my car's hood wasn't diminishing. Quite the contrary, it was growing to epic proportions as my car creaked-groaned its way up the hill, onto the interstate.

My temperature gauge climbed as well-well into the "hot" zone. I eased off on the gas, trying to give it a break, but no go, in a couple of seconds, it would exceed the max reading. Panic- slow down, get off on shoulder. Put emergency blinkers on.


And then I see the lights. Blue, flashing, lovely lights. Cops!

Try not to hyperventilate, check blood sugar. I cannot be low, I cannot be low-visions of being hypoglycemic in a jail cell dance through my mind.
135. Not low.

"Maam, is something the matter?" the concerned cop asks.

"My car is overheating."

"Do you need me to call anyone?"
"I'm going to try to call my parents."

He nods, circles the car.

"Are you a student?"

"Noo...."

"I'm asking because nothing on your car is legal. You need to pull up to the guardrail,this isn't a good spot to be parked."

Pull up. Open glove compartment, flash state stickers in cops face.
"See, I'm legal. Just haven't put them on yet."

"Ok. Where do your folks live?"

"20 minutes down the road."

Can't reach my dad on his cellphone, so agree to have vehicle towed. 5 minutes later, my dad calls back. Towtruck shows up.

"You should be good now."

Cops are generally wonderful people..servants of the public and all that but man they make me so nervous. I stutter, drop things, and act like an idiot(even when I'm NOT low)

Towed to shop, 2 hours (and many $$'s) later- thermostat replaced, gasket replaced. Good as new. Annoying thing is, I'd just had my car serviced 3 days previously and they didn't say a word(maybe it isn't something you can tell is going to happen).
I'm glad this didn't turn into the D edition of "Cops" (it did once, same breakdown spot,cop told the towtruck to take me to the Subway + get food into me before anything else). Ahh, the situations one can find one self in.

Enchanted

The morning frost lies thick on the windshield, as I jam my key into the ignition, hoping it doesn't take forever to defrost. My wonderful husband has already brushed the snow off, and I have precisely 45 minutes to do that,drive to where I'm supposed to go,find parking,hustle inside,and do it.

Time for the big guns, speed up the process.


Slosh about a cup on the windshield, hoping it works. I've read somewhere Coke is good for this, and I figure Diet Coke should be too. It does ok, and I'm off.

Finish errand, its 11:14. Discover I've not packed glasses and bg meter. Frantic dash home, pickup. Get gas and chips(lunch). Windshield is now encrusted in thick white slime. Wait till I get past the 95-66 triangle before I pull over, (not very smart, because most of the time I was driving with the sun in my eyes + a messy windshield)rub snow on it, and wipe it off with Kleenex. Redneck guy laughs at me."Think its clean enough now?" Drive like mad to get to hospital by 3 pm.

Register, its 2:55 pm.Feel pretty good about getting there on time. Settle in with ipod. Chief Resident breezes by, recognizes me(pretty good for a 1-shot deal nearly two months ago) + apologizes for the delay. Sometimes I think these people either have a photographic memory-or I am so ugly no one could possibly forget what I look like. 4 pm, I go over to the front desk and ask where I am in the lineup. Discover it'll be another half hour because my appointment was actually at 2 pm, not 3. This does not delight me,I fume for the next 15 minutes. Eventually, someone calls my new name(which I still haven't gotten used to) and we go back.

There are some doctors that stand out, and this guy is definatly one of them. But not in a bad way, he doesn't say two words about the diabetes.I've had eye doctors tell me I'm practically a canidate for instant death(these aren't endos, mind you, just opthomologists) unless I get a handle on my a1cs. This guy loves to talk,and loves to talk to his patients about THEIR lives, not just x-y-z what are your concerns today. He asks if I've memorized the chart yet, which I haven't(but he has).
The next 30 minutes fly by, and there is no time to do one of the tests(visual fields). So he tells me to help myself to the stash of Oreos in the bottom lefthand drawer while he goes + checks on what to do about that one test.(automatically elevating his own status to world's funniest AND nicest resident) His own private stash, no less. He comes back, the list of VF testees for the following day was about
a foot high(no kidding)+ if I stuck around, I'd likely be waiting on nothing. So, I will have to schedule it later.(another 3.5 hr drive, one way) The VF test is important because it was abnormal back in October.Chief Resident initially said I had optic neuritis,but the MRI was normal. My eye doesn't hurt anymore so they'll just wait on this repeat test to see if its worse or better.If its stable or improved thats good, and if its getting worse thats bad + time for steroid therapy.

Head down to cafeteria,get sandwich to go. Jump into car, drive to B&BWorks where I get 9 Wallflower packs/2 soaps for $39(valued at $114.50). Hit up CVS,eat sandwich, drive back to hometown, watch "Enchanted" at movie theater(excellent movie,as anything with Patrick Dempsey just has to be) + stay overnight at parents.Next day, run a few errands, schedule VF test + go back up north(arriving on the Outer Loop just in time for the Fri.after work traffic) Spend a couple of extra hours moving 2 mph.This was 1.5 weeks ago.

Tomarrow,going to head back down there for the visual fields test. I also have to swing by the landladys(deposit has failed to appear), go to the Social Security office to officially change my name,return a slew of things to various stores,redeem several gift certificates that expire tomarrow,do some more Christmas shopping,+ generally tear my hair out trying to get everything done.Should be fun.

Reflections..on the O.C.Challenge

Back in January, a group of us D's(and type 3's) decided to go where no D has ever gone before, challenging ourselves in new, cruel,and unusual ways.

Many of us..didn't make our goals. I know I didn't, I think I stopped seriously thinking about it shortly after getting engaged in May. Too many other things to stress out about.

To everyone who made(or will make) it, my hearty kudos. To everyone who tried + didn't, you're in good company. (the best, actually) In 17 days, you'll have a brand-spanking new chance to resolve better things.

At least my a1c went down(1.0 points)+ while my weight went up 5 pounds,I'm not quite on the verge of morbid obesity. Since I'm not working(currently),its easy to pack on those pounds even if one only ate one meal a day.(which I don't)Time to get me to a gym(actually,would make a nice Christmas gift,but if not,should invest in that for both me & hubby)after I find a half-way decent one up here. I don't feel like I failed, my a1c is a long way from my "dream" a1c, but realistically speaking I have only ever been close to that once.(6 years ago,after starting on the pump) Yes, it still sucks, but I'm just the type to want results NOW.(versus 3 months from now) I'm thankful for another year of avoiding horrible complications(dumb luck),+ I'm resolved to keep getting on/falling off the bandwagon for the rest of my life.(hopefully doing more getting on, then falling off)

Aloha from Oahu

Monday,Nov.12, 8:30 AM.

I don't want to get up, but its obvious that I'm having the first reaction of my married life. Mild-but present.

71 mg/dl.

Quick glucose shot,
3 tabs. 20 minutes, 134,during which time I think about glucagon +shrieking fire engines and I know,husband isn't ready for that level of in-your-face diabetes reality. I'm not either, but no one EVER is. (jelly limbs, mushy brain,flailing limbs a la carte)

Our Lanai(porch,with ocean view):











Off to Micky D's. On the corner, there's a guy passing out restaurant bucks + telling everyone how much better they are then McD's.Plus, a buck cheaper. Well, maybe.(that remains to be seen)

In Hawaii,fresh pineapple trays come with every extra value meal(easily the most nutriotious thing on the menu) and you can get coconut mini-pies all day.(instead of apple pies,here on the US mainland) An interesting cultural touch.

4 units of insulin-gonna be soakin' the beach, and that may drop me like a stone.Would rather underbolus...back to hotel,hang on beach, enjoying sun + gentle waves for the next few hours.Waikiki Beach is pretty, but way too rocky.(leastwise,our part was!) Feet got pretty sore.

277 (1 unit)
269

Well, all things considered, not bad(for 4 hours off the pump).Sometimes you just don't know what direction you're going to go.
5 hours later, my back erupts in a fiery red swirly pattern(aheee,forgot the sunscreen on certain parts). Welcome to Paradise. Then, my sensor goes completely kaput(not enhanced by the sand irritation)+ I yank it, its just too hard to keep it from being irritated.Pump set does too..so I change it. It is very windy, and sand goes everywhere.(head to toes) Hence the exotic sunburn.Good thing I packed the Aloe Vera gel.Husband got burned too-never underestimate the power of the Pacific Sun.(even in November)

Ocean View:












Later, we walk around Honolulu, go to the (humongous,largest in Hawaii) mall,3 floors-160+ shops. There are no Bath & Body works stores there,which makes the Hawaiians desperate to buy that stuff on Ebay.(trust me,I know)A mall without B&BW feels sort of incomplete to me-because I always stop in there,when I go to a mall.They had most everything else,and a ton of stores that only millionaires would frequent.Ate a late supper there, walked back to hotel.
Pearl Harbor was next on our agenda.

A Slice of Life,Love,and the big D

On one cold, December night..

My Wild Spending Spree

Most intelligent action of day:


Yanking out my 6 hour old sensor.($60, down the drain) I was so mad at myself, especially since the last sensor lasted 13 days.


Second most intelligent action of the day:


Yanking out my 4 hour old infusion set.($12, down the drain)


I am sooooo clumsy. Time to lather up in superglue. Leg sites tend to be a more of a problem then abdominal sites, in this regard...but I never thought that they wouldn't even last a day.(they were in differant legs)I don't think I trust myself with another sensor tonight.