Sunday, May 16, 2010

Day 7: Wishin' for Bliss

There are many things that would
make up the day of a just-cured PWD. Freedom...from absolotuly everything D-related, dropped on one like a bomb.I'm not sure I would fully grasp the utter magnitude of such an occasion until it actually occured.But the biggest thing,for me, would go beyond the disengagement from food restrictions.(any food and in any quantity at any time of day,with no worry about blood sugars,amount of carbohydrate,etc. would still be awesome, don't get me wrong) It would be the freedom NOT to have to do ( a multitude of) diabetes tasks.

For over 11 years(since Day #1) diabetes care has been my responsibility, a 24/7/365 proposition.As you know,most docs don't even know anything about it & so you're just flying solo,no one can take that from you.Even if you're really sick,you can never stop the responsibility.They'll treat you for the other stuff,but the D is up to you.But for 32 hours in my life,it was not my responsibility,it was not my concern,& I kind of liken the feeling to being cured. My diabetes care(all of it) was in the hands of an endocrinologist & I was not permitted to even know my blood sugar for a 10 hour stretch. Weirdest experience of my life.She'd read the blood sugar that the lab tech would hand her,& tweak basals or bolus or make me eat and otherwise attempt reasonable control & I'd just sit/lie there,wondering what my blood sugar was & what I was really doing there.( besides watching bad tv,earning $12/hour and being completely useless) It really didn't feel like my diabetes,it felt like I was her human science experiment.It's like forced disengagement from something you cannot ever forget,& while being incredibly difficult it was kind of nice.(not to have to worry) It's just hard,giving up all that "gotta know" patient perogitive.(FTR,she did such a good job of it you'd think it was her diabetes;after the study ended she informed me of my bgs) And so,I think that first day without diabetes would probably be spent carbogorging & checking once or twice anyway,just to be sure I really didn't have diabetes anymore! I would need that reassurance.

I also think that I'd want to stay up for the full 24 hour stretch...to just enjoy the awesomeness of an entire day without diabetes. No highs,no lows,no food restrictions,party till the beta cells come home. Perhaps basking on a beach somewhere,Margarita(s) in hand,without a care in the world.That'd be glorious.(and man,I cannot WAIT.) I want it to be right now.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

3 comments:

Michael Hoskins said...

Thanks for sharing, Heidi. Great post. Hope that the cure someday does arrive, for all of those Kids with Diabetes now and in the future as well, as if possible, those of us Kids With Diabetes Who Grew Up and any other PWD who needs a cure. Hope is key. Someday...

Scott K. Johnson said...

That was a great post. I chuckled at the carbogorge term, and staying up for a full 24 hours just to have an entire day, awake, on record!

thisiscaleb said...

This reminds me of the girl who spoke about her participation in the AP project and spent 3 days in the hospital and it was the best vacation she ever had.