From Endo, With Love

I'm not sure how it happened, but...

My a1c has gone down. By 0.8. Which puts me exactly where I was last year at this time.
(in the 8's, which is much better then the 9's). I'm feelin' the buzz from that, its moving in the right direction.(at least)

The rest of the appt. was fairly unproductive, my endo doesn't much like Pings(they're rather difficult to get the basals and TDD from + the meters read 40+ higher then the Ultra) and discussing my major hurdle toward better bgs...my fear of humongous boluses even when I know I need it. Because when I crash from one of them,it is a major crash + not pretty. I would rather square wave something then bolus it all up front,and sometimes you need everything up front.(like for cereal)If I have my Dex on,I'm not as afraid to do large boluses but because approval/paperwork for sensors has been stuck in insurance land since the beginning of Jan. I don't have that safety guard. The main reason my a1c has come down is because of my overnights, which have been pretty rock-solid awesome for the past few months.

Paperwork to get yearly bloodwork...a refill rx. Hey insurance, please hurry up with that paperwork, I need those sensors!

And that question, which popped up once again- "When are you planning to have kids?"
I didn't tell her what happened last month, and I'm not sure it would have done any good(not info she needs to know unless A. I stay pregnant or B.it happens more then once) When do I plan to have kids...probably never. Don't want to be told what I already know.(a1c must be in optimal range or that could be a major reason in miscarriages)

But all in all, it wasn't a total disaster + its good that I went.

An Open Letter to Guinness

March 14, 2008
Dear Guinness:

I realize you're horrifically busy, dashing all over the world to validate great human feats/records. And I realize, that not every "record" is truly something that you want your readers to try at home.
But since you've already published various diabetes feats(highest blood sugar(somewhere over the edge of reality, at 5000+ mg/dl) and the most number of injections(70,000+, some Scottish bloke who's had diabetes since 1926) I think you should consider another category.
I hold(or,at least I hope I do) the record(for anyone still living) for the highest hemoglobin a1c.(average blood glucose, over a 3 month period) Not quite something to proud of, but a part of
my infamous past.(the sole reason for growing rapid cataracts + going blind in 3 days post diabetes diagnosis,but thats another story) And I think I deserve recognition for still being alive.
Enclosed, you will find hospital records of the said fact. (Date of records: 12/10/98-12/13/98)

(A1c: 23.9)

Sincerely,

Another Annoying Reader

Back in the Game

"Finger, please."

Swab, poke. First one for the meter, second one for the DCA 2000 Analyzer sitting atop the counter.

"376."

"I am not 376, I just ate lunch and tested 15 min.ago(an hour post lunch) and I'm 250. That's why,I'm on a post meal high. Your machine is screwy."

"Well, ok. You can tell the doctor that."

Shuffle, shuffle through the venerable hallowed Joslin halls. So famous, so much history with that place. And today, it seems to be very empty, not many patients lurkin' round.

Later...

Endo comes in.

"We meet at last! it's been a long time since she(ex-endo) said you were coming."

"Yeah...part moving, part lazyness, part difficulty getting a slot on your calender."

Picks up phone. "Hello, I'd like X's a1c, please."

I start hyperventilating. This is not cool, being accosted by your a1c first thing, I've never had a finger stick a1c before. This is too sudden, this doesn't have that comfortable little 2 week "bump" while you wait for the mail. I'm not ready for this.

If its higher,I think I'm going to demand a venous draw.

"8.5"

Exhallllle. Well, its down.

"A slight improvement there, your last one was 8.7. But you know you can't get pregnant till your under 7."

No worries there, if I had an a1c of 7, such permission would not tempt me. I need at least 10 years to mentally prepare for the very concept of such a life altering event. Suffice to say, I think I will be hearing this till 2040 anyway.It's ok though, she's just doing her job.

We rehash my bgs..Joslin has some awesome logs. You can record everything there.
It just takes forever. I get the needed prescriptions at the end.

So small steps..and an a1c drop of 0.2 really feels like announcing that you've just lost 2 lbs(my husband stared at me blankly when I announced that, wasn't impressed) but it upped my spirits so I don't care what the rest of the world thinks. I'm gonna get there. And if its 0.1 at a time that's still progress.

5 Months and Counting

I dreamed last night that my a1c was around 7 (only in my dreams, apparently). Fact is, I've had the paperwork labsheet sitting in my Too Urgently Do desk drawer for a full week now. After re-finding it, buried under a car mat post-doctor appointment. (it'd been there for over a week)

It also has a fasting cholesterol test, so I couldn't just quickly take care of it after work. Nope,its gotta be an early morning, fasting since midnight affair. As said lab is 30 minutes away and not open at 5:30 in the morning, the only day I can possibly do it is Saturday..They're open nice and early on Saturdays,7:30 AM.

My diet..quite frankly, hasn't been the best. People in love have much more important things to think about, then getting the RDA of the major food groups. But people in love, can't function(very long) off cheeseburgers and Diet Mountain Dew, so I'm going to try to start cooking veggies, eating fruits because that's what I'm supposed to be doing. My ring is being resized, it was about 1.5 sizes too large (my finger isn't "average") I only had it 2 days before I had to take it back in. It won't be back for two weeks. I miss it.
Cranky, cranky me... I'm dying to show everyone, but not just a pic. I've held off telling people at work, because I'm waiting for that ring.

At work the other day, our supivisor was asking us about special dietary needs for
the upcoming Ice Cream Social(June 1). Two of my coworkers, asked for no sugar ice cream and the supivisor looked around, asked "Anyone else?"
I look at the floor.
Everyone in the department looks at me, waiting for me to announce my request for no sugar ice cream.
I wasn't going to declare any such thing, this was my decision and none of their business. Aside from the fact, that I'm a type 1 and I take insulin for everything anyway.
"Heidi?" pipes up coworker #1.
I resume looking at the floor.
"Do you want it?" asks my supivisor.
"No."
"She'll eat it and end up on the floor," says coworker #2.
I shoot a glare in her direction.
"I work it off, thank you very much."
"No, you'll just shoot insulin for it."

At this point, I get really, really mad and decide to defend myself.

"Ah yes- you're the expert. I've had it 10 years and I more then know what I'm doing by now."

"Well, my mom had it. And h----, I don't care if you end up on the floor."

"If you don't care, why are you even talking about it?"

Coworker #2 is also very angry(at this point). Tells me something that I won't repeat. And I decide, that the ignorance/callous unfeeling of some people is just not worth it.I don't have to defend myself to this jerk, whose sole claim to Experthood lies in the fact that her mom had diabetes + probably died just to get away from her daughter.
They get diabetes, and sugar is forever Evil and shots are an excuse to be a bad diabetic, etc. So they don't take shots(though they need them), they don't eat sugar(instead, they eat all this high carb sugar free stuff) and they don't check their blood sugars and they think they're being good diabetics when in reality, that's the worst thing they can do for themselves. And they get complications, and wonder why.
I don't blame her, though I did spend several hours wishing she'd get type 1 diabetes and have a low, a bad one.(just so she'd learn that it's not eating enough, rather then overeating, that causes one to "end up on the floor." My job is very physical, and I do have to reduce boluses majorly sometimes. It did hurt though, being the topic of discussion in front of the entire dept. No one says anything,but its obvious that I'm the devil-may-care irresponsible bad diabetic.

Reason #145 why I'm glad to be leaving my job. I have good friends there, but when you've had a few lows on the job it forever fuels the rumor mill.
(5 Months and Counting...before I bid it adeau)

Purple Top

Psst. Hey, you.

Yeah, you. 3rd from the bottom, over 2.

This is your ex-speaking. I know we haven't been on real good terms lately, but I could never
dump you entirely. Every day, I still hope for the impossible. You were such a big part of me.
And for one magical day, you were at your best and I was a star.

I have just one small request...

Could you pleazzzzzzzzzzze come back under 8? That isn't asking for much. And it would
make me more motivated to reach my OC Goal.

My endo has hope, says that one bad patch won't necessarily screw up any chances of that
happening. But I look at the logbook, and can only hope that the number of lows will cancel out
the number of highs + it won't come back worse then last time.

But if that doesn't happen...

I need a plan. A plan to aggressively treat those highs. A plan to NOT spend overnight in the 200's.(as Scott pointed out, that's a third of the day right there) And accountability to someone, checking in numbers ever so often. And lastly, I need to be changing my infusion set every 3 days, not 6. That might help.

So Purple Top, if you do your job, I'll do mine. I promise.

Secrets of the (Perfect) A1C Revealed

I've got this nagging feeling that I have, at some (extremily distant)moment in the past, already posted this but I can't find it in the draft box- so I'll just do it again.

How to Find Your Dream Hba1c:
(shamelessly stolen from Reality Check)

1. Think of a number between 1-10.

2. Add 80. (What your endo charges for a 5 minute consultation)

3. Multiply by 25. (How long you've had to wait for that 5 minute consultation)

4. Add 5 if you've already had your D day this year(D-day, day you were diagnosed) or 4 if it's still to come. (The time of the year you were diagnosed affects your Hba1c..as does Jupitors position in the southern sky in relation to the the constellation depicting the Norse Thunder god)

5. Take away the year you were diagnosed. (For determining the style of torture-er-treatment you were subjected to, in the early years of your D)

6. Add 160. (Cost of 2 bottles Novolog-if you go to the cheapo pharmacy..)

7. Take away the number of full years you've had D. (Either very important or completely irrelevant when it comes to working out your chance of complications, depending on who you talk to)

8. Divide by 5. (How far away the cure was, when you were first diagnosed)

9. Take away 4. (The average number of injections the standard pen/injection user goes through each day)

10. Divide by 5. (How far away the cure STILL is...)

11. Take away the number you first thought of. (Because there are some tasks that make no sense, but you still have to do them)

And please post your results..
(My dream a1c=5.4, a number I'll likely never see)