Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Thoughts from the Fifth and Sixth Week

1. I used to think that the idea of ME,non-conventionist of the D-world,becoming a CDE was absolutely never going to happen.How could I ever tell a patient something that 3/4 of the time I never did myself? And then, I got out into the real world & realized that I have the equivalent of a PhD in all things diabetes. I'm not just saying that,I've been pumped & primed & have been to 10 zillion research events(etc.) since Day 1. And while I may never be that Role Model, I have more then just book knowledge...I don't look at a patient & label them "noncompliant" even if there is something clearly going on. I look at them & see an internal battle to stay in control of something,& I see a medical professional that doesn't have the time or patience to delve into the mysteries of the diabetic psyche or what's really going on here.And I fume when I read the words "noncompliant" or "uncontrolled" when to boot,there's been no documentation of a visit with a mental health professional or a CDE.I guess the vast majority of docs/nurses will just never understand,there is so much more to diabetes then avoiding sugar/taking shots.Even type 2,(and how the Sam's Hill is it NIDDM when the patient does take Lantus at night?yeah,I'd say that insulin is required)most of them get shoddy or no education & it's no wonder ignorance/stupidity runs rampant all over the world. I may never be a CDE,but it is my responsibility to care/advocate for better D-care for my patient(when the occasion warrants it).There's just so much wrong that sometimes it feels like I'm just a speck of sand on the seashore,ignorance is going to be around long after I'm gone.

2. I came out of the D-Closet & confessed that yes,that it was my pump. It didn't kill me to do so.(& my two classmates aren't the D-Police)

3. 3/4 the class flunked the week before's (Monday's) exam,which made me feel better about the 82 I got...and thought was pretty bad. It was hard,but not that hard.(I've been a solid B in all four tests)

4.Last Clinical was last Wed. It was bittersweet, I'm not feeling ready to move on to the madness of the 2nd Semester. I know I have been babied/coddled in this one.
1. Professor "Coordinator of the First Semester Yearlings" will be following us into the 2nd Semester. (to coordinate us there,too) I dunno,but I think it would be better to have all new teachers...& especially where her teaching is concerned. It's through, but it can get so dry and boring that you just want to run screaming from the room after 45 minutes.(much less 3 hours) She'll be teaching Obstetrics.
2. I didn't do well on my client was too short by 2 minutes(I couldn't get my YouTube video working), the slide references weren't quoted right, and my nursing DX was all wrong. I dont know if I got the minimum 45/60 required points, but my fears of failing out of the course have been allayed somewhat as I am told that I only have to make 282 total points to pass( I'm at 225 right now). I can get up to 60 for the presentation,& up to 50 with the final exam. So I could totally fail this & still do well on the final, I have wiggle room.Thankful for that,because I don't want to repeat this thing!(the other two courses I got an A and B in but this is the main course,serving mortification & guts on a daily basis. Also,lots of $$'s.
3. In an unprecedented move of unexpected sweetness, one of the other students brought SF applesauce today. Yeah,SF does not equal carb free but it does equal less carbs...and applesauce is applesauce,fairly harmless on the gut. I was actually touched that she was thinking of me (when she made that decision for the whole group)
4. Tomorrow, we go to the Senior Center & see how the healthy older adult lives.(in contrast to the morbidly obese, COPD,nursing home inhabitants)

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Simon said...

You're doing well Heidi congratulations....
but you probably don't need an old, out of touch, non compliant diabetic to tell you that.
Bring on the "unprecedented move(s) of unexpected sweetness" I love it

Scott K. Johnson said...

Thank you for sharing this journey with us Heidi. I'm so proud of you!