The Most Awesome Thing

I've thought about this, and the vast majority of the stuff that I've done with diabetes is just general life stuff. Or, as a direct consequence of chronic disease. And I feel like (life-wise) that I'm JUST getting started (on the grand and glorious degree seeking, family, etc. Things that one could feel pride over,I can't really yet.) Jobs I've disliked(but stuck with for the insurance)...surgeries, hospitalizations, research studies that no sane person would ever subject themselves to, vacations spent at FFL(etc.) No one really wants to hear THAT. (yeah, being alive is a pretty major accomplishment but its often because of D, not separated from it) I have gotten married, stayed married (thus far),moved out on my own (for two years-before getting married), bought three cars,and self-sustained myself without having to file for bankruptcy (so there's that).

But there was one time that I did feel like an advocate for type 1's everywhere...when I went on Fear Factor. (I won't repost it here, but you can access it via the link) That really got my adrenaline going..& although I didn't make it very far,it helped me get over the "type 1's can't do things of that nature" mind-block. Type 1's (or 2's) can do whatever the heck they want,and even WIN. (see also, The Amazing Race winners, one of who has type 1) I would love to be on another game show (of that nature) if the chance presented itself. (I tried out for Jeopardy once,and almost made it past the first draft, was off by about 2 questions.That was a level of stress far beyond jumping off a building.)


“This post is my February entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/introducing-the-dsma-blog-carnival/“

The Blood Sugar Diaries

"How's your blood sugar?"

"What's your blood sugar?"

"Have you checked your blood sugar today?"

"What's your blood sugar generally range?"

I've gotten alot of that lately,& quite frankly,it's driving me up the wall. Quite frankly,there is never a time where the PWD cannot think about their blood sugars and today, I may be 300, tomorrow,30. The health care providers in question aren't asking you your latest a1c...they are asking you,judging you, on your blood sugar at that very minute. An hour from now it may be a whole different story. Not to mention they don't plan to do anything about it. (except label you "noncompliant" & "out of control" anyway) In nursing school, the label non-compliant is tossed around every three sentences anyway...& most of the time,gets applied to the patient with diabetes. It is an actual nursing diagnosis and you HAVE to use it. Words cannot express how much I loathe that term & how it is a cop out for figuring out what us really going on. At some point, I will write a paper on how that term needs to be abolished.
Anyway....back to the blood sugars.Why is that a topic that gets zero privacy & always gets asked?(I get that they need to "know" it but other sensitive topics,like "how many times have you pooped today?" could be construed in much the same light.And docs don't generally ask THAT.) I am really tired of talking about,discussing and dissecting and digressing and dealing with the topic of blood sugars. Yes,I do it everyday...it's my life.And yes,I do consult my Endo/Diabetes Educator on occasion. But everyone else (in the health care field,& the diabetes police) get on my nerves.(not the online community,they "get it" & I dint mind discussing online) I guess that's why I haven't been to a pump group meeting in forever because even there it tends to get a bit grilling. They all have a1c's in the 5's and 6's and are a tad unbelievable. (not that they aren't nice,but they are just in a totally different world) I need to hang out with REAL PWD. People who forget/leave their pumps at home,who have eaten themselves from 40 to 400 and will admit to having done so. People who don't claim to be perfect.(I also need to to figure out a better answer then "kindasortofnormalrange" which tends to produce blank looks & even more grueling of the blood sugars.) I guess I just hate that it's not considered private at all...& while I'm the one who manages it,the peanut gallery can still have their say about how much better I could be doing. (much like backseat drivers telling you how to drive a car)

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Casualty: 1900's (YouTube)

My latest tv show addiction. As I don't live in the UK,I just found out about it.(via Amazon Video on Demand) It's kind of like "ER" (early 1900's style) It was a totally different world..gloves were used only during surgery & nurses weren't allowed to get married.(they were married to their jobs)People died routinely of infections,(staff caught them from patients) there were no antibiotics. (they did practice isolation techniques but weren't very effective at containing outbreaks)
Regretfully, it only had two seasons.(and I think that's all it will have) I've finally figured out that the English title sister would be a charge nurse in the US. (see also: My Experience in an English Hospital)I guess some hospitals still go by those titles.(if not all) This show is like crack cocaine,it's got the doctor/nurse romance, the spurting blood,the women's right issues,and pretty much everything a good medical drama should have.And it's primarily from the nursing student (aka "Probationers") point of view so it's really interesting seeing how that differs from nursing student's today.(and yet,so much is the same)I highly recommend watching them all, if you enjoy things of that nature.

Veni, Vidi, Vici

I studied.


I came, stowed all beeping electronic devices in my car,and walked into the classroom with a roll of glucose tabs in my pocket.


I(along with the rest of the class, row by row) came up and stored every possible physical belonging AT THE FRONT OF THE CLASSROOM NEXT TO THE INSTRUCTOR'S DESK.(it was like being in Kindergarten,the only thing you were allowed to have were 2 pencils(which must be non mechanical) a sheet of paper,and your test/scantron.)

And I took the test.(under meter/blood sugar anxiety)

And I went back out to my car,grabbed my meter,and tested 325 mg/dl, 1 hour and 30 minutes later.

I really,really, really need those accommodations..its one thing worrying about the test(I shouldn't have to worry about my blood sugar too). I'm not that likely to go low-I just need the freedom to be able to check(and adjust) at will. It's very obvious that I need a cranked up basal rate(and possibly an adjusted mealtime Insulin/Carb ratio as well) One test passed(grade wise)and yet it most definatly wasn't a success, diabetes wise.One Stress-a-thon seriously shoots the whole day's numbers to pot.
Still waiting on the paperwork from my Endo's office,(for the accommodations)and it looks like I'll have to take another test in much the same manner.(before it all gets straightened out) I also don't know exactly how the accommodations will play out-perhaps I'll have to take my tests in the testing center.

YouTube: Study Skillz

Love this video!!(it captures well the amount of knowledge flying around that you're expected to learn/apply/regurgitate on command)

Owner of a Broken Brain

I'm studying this weekend for a test...my first of many. It mattereth not that it is Super Bowl Sunday, & it mattereth not that I have a horrendous cold/simultaneous monthly occurrence (sorry for the TMI,it is what it is), & it mattereth not that there are also next week's classes to get ready for..somehow I have to stuff 3 weeks of knowledge into my already stuffed-up head. I have to meet with various advisors as well.(next week,it's still really overwhelming)There is no time to be sick-if you miss 2-3 occurrences, you will fall so far behind that they consider you not able to keep up with the program & kick you out. It's scary,& simultaneously annoying. (if I have infected the entire lab group/instructor with my 7 hours of sneezing,sniffling,nose blowing,& coughing, don't blame me. I didn't mean too but you can see why I can't leave) I am still very overwhelmed & I'm pretty sure that feeling will be sticking around awhile.(keep swimming,try not to drown)



And last Saturday's run to the cupcake shop/JDRF summit sadly did not extend it's happiness into this weekend...my husband ate the last one today.Was extremely good while it lasted though.(loved,loved,LOVED the peanut butter frosting one)Cupcakes rock. The JDRF Summit was excellent as well.