In the medical field, the common diseases are referred to as "horses" and the not-so-common-ones, "zebras". Diabetes is of course, about as as equine as you can possibly get- but the lines do blur sometimes.
Is it type 1?
Is it type 2?
Is it type Halle Berry?
Is it gestational?
Or is it secondary to something else, and transiet?
Periodically, my blood sugars go off on a wild tangent, and nothing gets them up. Nothing. Everyone gets this sometimes(due to exercise, illness, etc)but I've yet to figure out exactly what prompts mine to go off. The last time, lasted two weeks. Two weeks of averaging about 5-8 units a day and still having lows.(usually use between 20-27U/day) It hasn't ever lasted that long so I asked my endo about it, their response was type 1's can periodically produce some insulin and studies really haven't been done to see why sets that off but glucose is very toxic/supressing to the islets and thats probably why it doesn't happen more often.(with me,given my less then perfect control) So I asked about checking my cpeptide the next time it happens and they said they could do that. It'll be interesting to see what exactly this pancreas of mine is up to.
If I understood that...what makes it go off,maybe there is something I can do to help those little spurts of whackyness toward excellent control. I would love to take so little insulin on a regular basis,it makes hypos less likely, the a1c better,life so much better. I do not think they have type 1's with residual insulin production take pills(thats for type 1's/2's with insulin resistance)and I wouldn't want to take them even if offered. But having a steady cpeptide would be a great thing.(every bit helps) This occasional zebra of mine might be unpredictable, but I'd take that over the regular horse (fill in the blank) any day.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
A V-Log of Three Insulin Pumps
And if it sounds like I've got a bug in my throat, its because I do. Strep throat, to be more precise. Hopefully I will get better at this vlog thing,thoughts more collected + not sounding like an adolescent squawker.(and hopefully the drugs will start doing their thing soon)Strep sucks.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Dancing with the Stars
(3/22/09)
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Ebay star color changes are neat, here's the scale:
Yellow star () = 10 to 49 ratings
Blue star () = 50 to 99 ratings
Turquoise star () = 100 to 499 ratings
Purple star () = 500 to 999 ratings
Red star () = 1,000 to 4,999 ratings
Green star () = 5,000 to 9,999 ratings
Yellow shooting star () = 10,000 to 24,999 ratings
Turquoise shooting star () = 25,000 to 49,999 ratings
Purple shooting star () = 50,000 to 99,999 ratings
Red shooting star () = 100,000 to 499,000 ratings
Green shooting star () = 500,000 to 999,999 ratings
Silver shooting star () = 1,000,000 ratings or more
Fairly certain I will never get to a shooting star-it took me 7.5 years just to get to 1000 feedback. And most of the transactions you do, you have to beg for and still don't receive any fb. Which makes any fb you do get twice as valuable.
My feedback score is excellent, only 1 negative. For as much as I may complain about certain individuals who have no business owning a credit card much less being let loose with one on Ebay, I've gotten a good many wonderful deals over the years.
(like a roundtrip ticket that would have cost me over $900,for only $50 and it was at the local airport only a mile from my house, thus saving me 5 hours of driving time and lots of sleep!)
.jpg)
Ebay star color changes are neat, here's the scale:
Yellow star () = 10 to 49 ratings
Blue star () = 50 to 99 ratings
Turquoise star () = 100 to 499 ratings
Purple star () = 500 to 999 ratings
Red star () = 1,000 to 4,999 ratings
Green star () = 5,000 to 9,999 ratings
Yellow shooting star () = 10,000 to 24,999 ratings
Turquoise shooting star () = 25,000 to 49,999 ratings
Purple shooting star () = 50,000 to 99,999 ratings
Red shooting star () = 100,000 to 499,000 ratings
Green shooting star () = 500,000 to 999,999 ratings
Silver shooting star () = 1,000,000 ratings or more
Fairly certain I will never get to a shooting star-it took me 7.5 years just to get to 1000 feedback. And most of the transactions you do, you have to beg for and still don't receive any fb. Which makes any fb you do get twice as valuable.
My feedback score is excellent, only 1 negative. For as much as I may complain about certain individuals who have no business owning a credit card much less being let loose with one on Ebay, I've gotten a good many wonderful deals over the years.
(like a roundtrip ticket that would have cost me over $900,for only $50 and it was at the local airport only a mile from my house, thus saving me 5 hours of driving time and lots of sleep!)
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Attack of the Carbs
I luuvvveee the Doughboy, my first vlog is probably going to be some drama about the PD, the plateful of evil carbohydrates + the powerless PWD. Which, now that its spring break, I have time to work on. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Planet Diabetes: Survival: Hospital
(a Dlife video on this subject)
Monday evening the husband and I went to a D-talk entitled "Being Insulin Dependent in the Hospital." Not that unusual,I mean, there are many such topics of conversation being revisited all around the country, ad nauseum, at various pump group meetings. This place...was at a location I've never been to(some other D-group, not pump specific) and the guest speaker was a type 1 endocrinologist himself. With such a resume I could hardly NOT go, it was like being written a blank check to the secrets of the universe. (or at least to the hospital) I needed the hubby to come with me because #1 he was interested and #2 he's been to the general location and can therefore find the place much better then myself. Finding out what makes a hospital + the rulers therein tick would be more then beneficial in the future. Plus I figured I could get some questions of my own answered...beyond the generic "you may want to change x-y-z" material.
The meeting room was small..and decidedly packed with PWD of all sorts and sizes. After the "Hi, I'm x and I've had diabetes for x years"(personally referring to myself as a diabetic still leaves an incredibly sour taste in my mouth and I rarely do it) intros the endocrinologist, sporting a Dexcom and Ping pump(bonus points for him!) launched right into the discussion.
The meeting lasted about 2 hours and was not boring at all. Riveting talk/discussion, despite one or two individuals periodically launching off on some completely irrelevant topic then the one on hand which one couldn't exactly prevent/say something about because we're all there to support each other and sit through 10 minute rants on insurance not covering lancets.(for real-who complains about that??there are so much more worthy things to complain about) If you have a guest speaker, I think its pretty rude NOT to keep the questions to the topic of discussion. But anytime you have a physician and laypeople you are going to get
someone reciting their entire medical history as they ask their question. Everyone suffers through it.
And I managed to learn some stuff:
-you always have the right to refuse the sliding scale and stay on the pump but if you're going into emergency surgery just give it up and resume when able. Emergency surgery, you should just shut up and be grateful if you make it out alive.(plus they tend to give some real whack-you-out drugs in emergency surgery) Elective surgeries...ALWAYS insist on pumping and if the surgeon doesn't like it find a new surgeon. In the ICU they check bgs so often that being on a insulin drip is the best way to go because you're drugged up and not able to make insulin decisions. Sliding scale anywhere=EVIL and under no circumstances should you be on one because its given according to the staff's schedule, not to your needs. People die of hypoglycemia IN THE HOSPITAL on a regular basis, and you sure don't want to be that person. Give insulin, recheck patient 6 hours later and they are dead because lunch was an hour late and they were too out of it to eat their lunch. Get the doc to write testing orders every 2-4 hours,or whenever necessary.
-most surgeons are not sadistic hellions intent on inflecting as much inconvenience as possible, they are just uninformed. So says an endocrinologist. Um-I think I'll have to take a rain check on that one, guess I haven't yet met the "nice" type of surgeon.
-Always bring your own lancing device(+ meter) ,never consent to their gullitine near your fingers. Much less painful with own lancing device.
-saw several graphs documenting the 6x rate of complications/death from 200+ post operative bgs, even in people who don't have diabetes. (steroids can do marvelous things to the bg) Freaky scary.
Bolused about five times that evening, bgs remained stuck in the mid 200's.It always makes me feel guilty, being at a D meeting and being high(as a pumper you should have the problem licked in about 1.5 hours) Definably need a basal overhaul. He also talked about all the changes they've made to their program and I was impressed(the power of a type 1 endo in bringing about REAL change for all the PWD in the hospital. They are going to have studies of intravenous CGM's in ICU patients.(since that is the most frequent setting for extreme hypoglycemia). The takeaway message was...communicate with the caregivers, call your endo if need be(doesn't work, but nice in theory),advocate for the basics of care. Because you're worth it.
Monday evening the husband and I went to a D-talk entitled "Being Insulin Dependent in the Hospital." Not that unusual,I mean, there are many such topics of conversation being revisited all around the country, ad nauseum, at various pump group meetings. This place...was at a location I've never been to(some other D-group, not pump specific) and the guest speaker was a type 1 endocrinologist himself. With such a resume I could hardly NOT go, it was like being written a blank check to the secrets of the universe. (or at least to the hospital) I needed the hubby to come with me because #1 he was interested and #2 he's been to the general location and can therefore find the place much better then myself. Finding out what makes a hospital + the rulers therein tick would be more then beneficial in the future. Plus I figured I could get some questions of my own answered...beyond the generic "you may want to change x-y-z" material.
The meeting room was small..and decidedly packed with PWD of all sorts and sizes. After the "Hi, I'm x and I've had diabetes for x years"(personally referring to myself as a diabetic still leaves an incredibly sour taste in my mouth and I rarely do it) intros the endocrinologist, sporting a Dexcom and Ping pump(bonus points for him!) launched right into the discussion.
The meeting lasted about 2 hours and was not boring at all. Riveting talk/discussion, despite one or two individuals periodically launching off on some completely irrelevant topic then the one on hand which one couldn't exactly prevent/say something about because we're all there to support each other and sit through 10 minute rants on insurance not covering lancets.(for real-who complains about that??there are so much more worthy things to complain about) If you have a guest speaker, I think its pretty rude NOT to keep the questions to the topic of discussion. But anytime you have a physician and laypeople you are going to get
someone reciting their entire medical history as they ask their question. Everyone suffers through it.
And I managed to learn some stuff:
-you always have the right to refuse the sliding scale and stay on the pump but if you're going into emergency surgery just give it up and resume when able. Emergency surgery, you should just shut up and be grateful if you make it out alive.(plus they tend to give some real whack-you-out drugs in emergency surgery) Elective surgeries...ALWAYS insist on pumping and if the surgeon doesn't like it find a new surgeon. In the ICU they check bgs so often that being on a insulin drip is the best way to go because you're drugged up and not able to make insulin decisions. Sliding scale anywhere=EVIL and under no circumstances should you be on one because its given according to the staff's schedule, not to your needs. People die of hypoglycemia IN THE HOSPITAL on a regular basis, and you sure don't want to be that person. Give insulin, recheck patient 6 hours later and they are dead because lunch was an hour late and they were too out of it to eat their lunch. Get the doc to write testing orders every 2-4 hours,or whenever necessary.
-most surgeons are not sadistic hellions intent on inflecting as much inconvenience as possible, they are just uninformed. So says an endocrinologist. Um-I think I'll have to take a rain check on that one, guess I haven't yet met the "nice" type of surgeon.
-Always bring your own lancing device(+ meter) ,never consent to their gullitine near your fingers. Much less painful with own lancing device.
-saw several graphs documenting the 6x rate of complications/death from 200+ post operative bgs, even in people who don't have diabetes. (steroids can do marvelous things to the bg) Freaky scary.
Bolused about five times that evening, bgs remained stuck in the mid 200's.It always makes me feel guilty, being at a D meeting and being high(as a pumper you should have the problem licked in about 1.5 hours) Definably need a basal overhaul. He also talked about all the changes they've made to their program and I was impressed(the power of a type 1 endo in bringing about REAL change for all the PWD in the hospital. They are going to have studies of intravenous CGM's in ICU patients.(since that is the most frequent setting for extreme hypoglycemia). The takeaway message was...communicate with the caregivers, call your endo if need be(doesn't work, but nice in theory),advocate for the basics of care. Because you're worth it.
Monday, March 09, 2009
The Melanoma
Sometimes, it's just a mole on your back.
(I have a couple...let's just leave it at that. You don't want to see them)
And sometimes, it's a Melanoma.
(from:http://www.dermatology.org/)
Diabetes is my melanoma right now. Spreading into every waking and non-waking moment. Always there, silently demanding, yet giving back nothing in return.
I have never had cancer, thank goodness, but I have seen what it can do to people's spirits as well as their bodies. Psychologically it is really hard.(worse then D,I think)
I have to say, running to the CDE/Endo for fresh ideas makes the lag even worse sometimes. Let's get even MORE intense about something you're already 100% (immersed/sick and tired of) in!
Growing, growing,growing until the weight of the world is on your shoulders. As much as I'd like to obtain that stellar a1c instantly there are issues that will not be solved immeadiently(it took 10 years to make them and its not going to take 3 months to unmake them) and sometimes its too much. I need to feel like something other then a diabetic. I need to let it just be the mole on the back again...and not read,breathe,talk,sleep,live diabetes 24/7. And that might take the form of not posting on this blog or other D-sites as often. I cannot "stop" the basics of care but I can slack off in other areas to regain that "I'm something other then a collection of pancreatic cells run amuck" sense of well being.
(I have a couple...let's just leave it at that. You don't want to see them)
And sometimes, it's a Melanoma.
(from:http://www.dermatology.org/)Diabetes is my melanoma right now. Spreading into every waking and non-waking moment. Always there, silently demanding, yet giving back nothing in return.
I have never had cancer, thank goodness, but I have seen what it can do to people's spirits as well as their bodies. Psychologically it is really hard.(worse then D,I think)
I have to say, running to the CDE/Endo for fresh ideas makes the lag even worse sometimes. Let's get even MORE intense about something you're already 100% (immersed/sick and tired of) in!
Growing, growing,growing until the weight of the world is on your shoulders. As much as I'd like to obtain that stellar a1c instantly there are issues that will not be solved immeadiently(it took 10 years to make them and its not going to take 3 months to unmake them) and sometimes its too much. I need to feel like something other then a diabetic. I need to let it just be the mole on the back again...and not read,breathe,talk,sleep,live diabetes 24/7. And that might take the form of not posting on this blog or other D-sites as often. I cannot "stop" the basics of care but I can slack off in other areas to regain that "I'm something other then a collection of pancreatic cells run amuck" sense of well being.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Change
Twenty dollars and eight-four cents.
That's the cost of diabetes on a daily, preventative basis.(supplies, low treatments, etc,ballpark figure for me...)
I got this bottle in January, as part of our church's fund drive to assist a pregnancy center. Coming off a raw recent emotional high of that very subject I wasn't sure if I could look at it without bawling so I put my spare change in another jar and planned to transfer it to the bottle when the time came.
But something happened in a month and a half. The bottle came to mean more then what could have been. It came to represent what can be.(maybe there's a chance for even me)
Change. I can change, I can do battle with my a1c to knock it down under 7. I can drag myself to the gym on a regular basis, I can stop inhaling junk food for breakfast/lunch/and supper and make it more of the exception, rather then the rule. Its still hard but when I look at that baby bottle sitting on my dresser I'm reminded that it's oh-so-worth-it. I couldn't give up that bottle now for anything, I wrote a check to the pregnancy center. They helped me without even knowing they did so.
It's not to large a price to pay for the rest of one's life...change can be a good thing. Every bit helps.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Of iPhones and iApprovals
Final day of the month...and I feel the need to write something, however unprofound that something might be. Finally got to go on the grandest of sprees Wednesday, ending up with this:
Of course, they don't sell Iphones at Office Depot but they do sell $200 Amex gcs...and Itunes gcs. OD reward certificates can be used to purchase any type of gift card. Best Buy was running a deal(of sorts-$50 off for Reward Zone members) and the prepaid mastercards can be used for anything.(actual purchase plus bills)Signing another 2 year commitment(just did one for the gym..ugh) was not a particular joyous occasion, but I have wanted an iphone forever...and my current cellphone contract will soon expire. I am rather attached to my old number, I've had it ever since I've had a cellphone and giving it up is going to be a very painful grieving process. But having 2 running contracts makes no sense whatsoever.(even if the iphone and the first two bills are free!) And I've got another cellphone that's prepaid(it was a gift) so I'm like rolling in cellphones right now!
I'm not sorry I did it...the iphone rocks, on so many levels. Not having to find a wifi hotspot, being able to use any application at any time is just great. I love my iphone!
D-wise, its been low after low after low. Got my approval letter from my insurance(sensors) and the sensors were mailed out Thurs. of this week. Haven't gotten them yet...hopefully will be here Monday. I'm of the opinion that taking in more fast-acting carbs and getting the bg down later(if you overshoot the mark) is better then eating/drinking 15 carbs...eating another 15 carbs..eating yet another 15 carbs...I could spend my entire life waiting for my bg to come up, with that method. Since I'm having so many I just go for the big guns(40-60 carbs) right away,and it works well. Until the next low. I need to majorly overhaul everything (basals and boluses),day and night they're causing lows. It's not really because of the exercise...because I only work out about 3 hours a week. Hopefully bgs will go back to normal soon.
Of course, they don't sell Iphones at Office Depot but they do sell $200 Amex gcs...and Itunes gcs. OD reward certificates can be used to purchase any type of gift card. Best Buy was running a deal(of sorts-$50 off for Reward Zone members) and the prepaid mastercards can be used for anything.(actual purchase plus bills)Signing another 2 year commitment(just did one for the gym..ugh) was not a particular joyous occasion, but I have wanted an iphone forever...and my current cellphone contract will soon expire. I am rather attached to my old number, I've had it ever since I've had a cellphone and giving it up is going to be a very painful grieving process. But having 2 running contracts makes no sense whatsoever.(even if the iphone and the first two bills are free!) And I've got another cellphone that's prepaid(it was a gift) so I'm like rolling in cellphones right now!
I'm not sorry I did it...the iphone rocks, on so many levels. Not having to find a wifi hotspot, being able to use any application at any time is just great. I love my iphone!
D-wise, its been low after low after low. Got my approval letter from my insurance(sensors) and the sensors were mailed out Thurs. of this week. Haven't gotten them yet...hopefully will be here Monday. I'm of the opinion that taking in more fast-acting carbs and getting the bg down later(if you overshoot the mark) is better then eating/drinking 15 carbs...eating another 15 carbs..eating yet another 15 carbs...I could spend my entire life waiting for my bg to come up, with that method. Since I'm having so many I just go for the big guns(40-60 carbs) right away,and it works well. Until the next low. I need to majorly overhaul everything (basals and boluses),day and night they're causing lows. It's not really because of the exercise...because I only work out about 3 hours a week. Hopefully bgs will go back to normal soon.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Signs of the Times
Dear idiot student(s):
So its over. I'm over that. I wish nothing but the best for our new president, and I hope my feelings of doom/and gloom don't turn out to be the case.
But I still have a right to MY own personal political views and if I want to have a bumper sticker that says 1/20/2013- Change We Can Believe In- it is my personal right as an American. You may not like it, but there was no need to put that displeasure into action and decorate my car in such a immature manner.
Ice, coke, and ketchup. Wow- you really take the cake. Forgive me for not finding it funny (maybe one day I will). Right now it just feels like an invasion of the freedoms I took for granted. Luckily for you, the only thing right now handy to take it out on is my meter(I think I'll try Joe S's trick of running over one).
Sincerely,
A fellow (more intelligent, tolerant) student
So its over. I'm over that. I wish nothing but the best for our new president, and I hope my feelings of doom/and gloom don't turn out to be the case.
But I still have a right to MY own personal political views and if I want to have a bumper sticker that says 1/20/2013- Change We Can Believe In- it is my personal right as an American. You may not like it, but there was no need to put that displeasure into action and decorate my car in such a immature manner.
Ice, coke, and ketchup. Wow- you really take the cake. Forgive me for not finding it funny (maybe one day I will). Right now it just feels like an invasion of the freedoms I took for granted. Luckily for you, the only thing right now handy to take it out on is my meter(I think I'll try Joe S's trick of running over one).
Sincerely,
A fellow (more intelligent, tolerant) student
Friday, February 20, 2009
Circle of Willies
Disclaimer:
I am a control freak. Or at least,I try to be. Not in the sense of my blood sugar never goes above 150 post-meal..more like, I don't trust anyone else besides my cde/endocrinologist to be making suggestions about my D-care. Especially not the local community hospital, and even at University hospitals it can be touch and go as to whether you'll get good care. Unless you have a pumper doc/nurse or someone who knows about pumps.(not very likely)
There's something I haven't quite figured out yet, and its a subject that's discussed even less frequently among doctor/patients then "How's your sex life?" (which is a question I'm not likely to be getting for 30+ more years anyway)
What you have the rights to, D-wise, in surgery or in the hospital. Some surgeons literally demand that you must go off your pump and onto whatever system they've got and some are ok with you staying on your pump. And I've done it both ways, scared stiff to refuse. Because, well, the last general surgeon intent on slicing into my intestinal blockage probably wouldn't have understood if I'd have talked myself blue and though they're quite good at what they're doing they tend to have a mindset that one insulin regimen fits all. Between the language barrier and that,I didn't dare refuse. (fortunately it didn't come to that)On the other hand, the vascular surgeon(port surgery) was ok with me being on the pump. It's a surgeon lottery. I can understand during long, complex surgeries the need to have some control over the situation but with an IV in there anyway they could have access to sending it up or down if the numbers strayed too far. I am easily correctable.
So I think I need some sort of plan. Something that can be given to any future physician who doesn't know much about pumping. I think that would help them see that I'm not the type of patient who will go low on just the basal rate if not doing anything(more like high). (to alleviate fears) I still don't know whether I've got the rights to refuse without them refusing to keep me as a patient. I have hopes that one day..when I'm around 40 or so insulin pumps will be more accepted and the young physicians of today will be the older, experienced physicians who know all about it. The younger physicians, they speak Pumpese "What's your ISF? TDD? Insulin/carb ratio?" while the older ones could care less. As a patient, I feel more connected to someone who shows knowledge about D rather then someone who skirts around the issue. I have D, it is a part of me and it needs to enter the conversation at some point.
The hospital is enough of a place for med mixups/infections/nervous breakdowns as it is. Bright lights. Loud noises. Demented, agitated roommates. Uncomfortable beds. Food menus that make no sense(lots of carbs but no "sugar") and have no nutrional information. Constant streams of people, day and night. Blood leechings. Tests that take forever on cold hard tables and make you miss meals. Endless reruns of "MASH". Waiting all day for the doc to come in to tell you you can't go home that day. Friend/relative visits that awkwardly end as you fall facefirst into your cream of wheat on a medication trip. Lots of decisions, much of which won't happen because its all relative to what the doctor decides when he gets around to it. As for diabetes control, good luck with that, you are on your own. At least on the pump you are not hypoing constantly, you have some control over the situation. Whereas with sliding scales you are pretty much stuck.(haven't been on one in 9 years and don't intend to be)
Some more thoughts on the situation...(Dec.2006)
I wish there were a facility in which only D's(or friends, family members) worked..everything would be done with the D taken into consideration and pumps would be the rule, rather then the exception. Better attention to D translates to better bgs equals shorter stays and improved outcomes.
I am a control freak. Or at least,I try to be. Not in the sense of my blood sugar never goes above 150 post-meal..more like, I don't trust anyone else besides my cde/endocrinologist to be making suggestions about my D-care. Especially not the local community hospital, and even at University hospitals it can be touch and go as to whether you'll get good care. Unless you have a pumper doc/nurse or someone who knows about pumps.(not very likely)
There's something I haven't quite figured out yet, and its a subject that's discussed even less frequently among doctor/patients then "How's your sex life?" (which is a question I'm not likely to be getting for 30+ more years anyway)
What you have the rights to, D-wise, in surgery or in the hospital. Some surgeons literally demand that you must go off your pump and onto whatever system they've got and some are ok with you staying on your pump. And I've done it both ways, scared stiff to refuse. Because, well, the last general surgeon intent on slicing into my intestinal blockage probably wouldn't have understood if I'd have talked myself blue and though they're quite good at what they're doing they tend to have a mindset that one insulin regimen fits all. Between the language barrier and that,I didn't dare refuse. (fortunately it didn't come to that)On the other hand, the vascular surgeon(port surgery) was ok with me being on the pump. It's a surgeon lottery. I can understand during long, complex surgeries the need to have some control over the situation but with an IV in there anyway they could have access to sending it up or down if the numbers strayed too far. I am easily correctable.
So I think I need some sort of plan. Something that can be given to any future physician who doesn't know much about pumping. I think that would help them see that I'm not the type of patient who will go low on just the basal rate if not doing anything(more like high). (to alleviate fears) I still don't know whether I've got the rights to refuse without them refusing to keep me as a patient. I have hopes that one day..when I'm around 40 or so insulin pumps will be more accepted and the young physicians of today will be the older, experienced physicians who know all about it. The younger physicians, they speak Pumpese "What's your ISF? TDD? Insulin/carb ratio?" while the older ones could care less. As a patient, I feel more connected to someone who shows knowledge about D rather then someone who skirts around the issue. I have D, it is a part of me and it needs to enter the conversation at some point.
The hospital is enough of a place for med mixups/infections/nervous breakdowns as it is. Bright lights. Loud noises. Demented, agitated roommates. Uncomfortable beds. Food menus that make no sense(lots of carbs but no "sugar") and have no nutrional information. Constant streams of people, day and night. Blood leechings. Tests that take forever on cold hard tables and make you miss meals. Endless reruns of "MASH". Waiting all day for the doc to come in to tell you you can't go home that day. Friend/relative visits that awkwardly end as you fall facefirst into your cream of wheat on a medication trip. Lots of decisions, much of which won't happen because its all relative to what the doctor decides when he gets around to it. As for diabetes control, good luck with that, you are on your own. At least on the pump you are not hypoing constantly, you have some control over the situation. Whereas with sliding scales you are pretty much stuck.(haven't been on one in 9 years and don't intend to be)
Some more thoughts on the situation...(Dec.2006)
I wish there were a facility in which only D's(or friends, family members) worked..everything would be done with the D taken into consideration and pumps would be the rule, rather then the exception. Better attention to D translates to better bgs equals shorter stays and improved outcomes.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The One on the Right
There once was a musical troupe
A swinging, rhyming folk group
They sang non-traditional ballads
In a never-ending loop
They were great with alliterative allegories
And charming,mildly interesting stories
But diabetical incompatibilitys
Led to their downfall.
Well, the one on the right was
Tight with Animas
And the one in the middle was
Not in any "pumping" rush
While the one on the left was
Having a major Medtronic crush
And the guy in the rear...Burned his Medical Alert.
This musical aggravation
Toured the D-Life communes
Singing non-traditional ballads
In the oddest, weirdest tunes.
They performed with great virtuosity
And soon, they were a hit(surpassing even the Jonas Brothers!)
But diabetical incompatibilities
Finally made them split.
Cuz' the one on the right had a
5.5 a1c while the one in the middle was 8.4
the one on the left was 7.2
and the guy in the rear...could care less.
When the curtain finally rose
On their season's biggest show
The D-folk watched in anticipation
To see their latest, weird creation.
But they all forgot their meters
And that led to quite a scene
No longer friendly greeters
These charming folks turned mean.
The one on the right was
Really high, while the one in the middle was
Feeding him pie.
The one on the left was the one who
Really needed that pie
While the guy in the rear...was dialing 911.
Now this should be a lesson
If you plan to PWD messin'
Don't go mixing pumpers
With the politics of the D
Just work on getting along
No more messy spiels
And if they're slightly in the wrong
It's not a major deal.
Now the one on the left
writes a blog while the one in the middle
Went back to Lantus.
the one on the right just ran a marathon
And the guy in the rear..went back to school and became a CDE.
(there's always hope for the rebels)
A swinging, rhyming folk group
They sang non-traditional ballads
In a never-ending loop
They were great with alliterative allegories
And charming,mildly interesting stories
But diabetical incompatibilitys
Led to their downfall.
Well, the one on the right was
Tight with Animas
And the one in the middle was
Not in any "pumping" rush
While the one on the left was
Having a major Medtronic crush
And the guy in the rear...Burned his Medical Alert.
This musical aggravation
Toured the D-Life communes
Singing non-traditional ballads
In the oddest, weirdest tunes.
They performed with great virtuosity
And soon, they were a hit(surpassing even the Jonas Brothers!)
But diabetical incompatibilities
Finally made them split.
Cuz' the one on the right had a
5.5 a1c while the one in the middle was 8.4
the one on the left was 7.2
and the guy in the rear...could care less.
When the curtain finally rose
On their season's biggest show
The D-folk watched in anticipation
To see their latest, weird creation.
But they all forgot their meters
And that led to quite a scene
No longer friendly greeters
These charming folks turned mean.
The one on the right was
Really high, while the one in the middle was
Feeding him pie.
The one on the left was the one who
Really needed that pie
While the guy in the rear...was dialing 911.
Now this should be a lesson
If you plan to PWD messin'
Don't go mixing pumpers
With the politics of the D
Just work on getting along
No more messy spiels
And if they're slightly in the wrong
It's not a major deal.
Now the one on the left
writes a blog while the one in the middle
Went back to Lantus.
the one on the right just ran a marathon
And the guy in the rear..went back to school and became a CDE.
(there's always hope for the rebels)
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
A Valentine's Weekend Dozen
#1 
(gift from my very sweet husband)
#2 A workout at the Love Triangle. I call it that, because it has my doctor's office, the gym, and CVS in the same general area so whatever you need, you're covered! (injured, hop on over to docs and pick up RX at CVS). Only I always end up going across the street to McDonalds and stuffing my face because workouts make me incredibly hungry and there's just no way I'm going to pay $5.99 for a "Rejuvenating Fruit Smoothie."
#2 An hour long wait to The Pasta Place because the place didn't take reservations. Sigh. It was good though, awesome Italian carby goodness that was well worth the insulin. No candlelight, but it was dim enough in there to qualify as being in the Twilight Zone anyway.
#3 A Visit to the William Paca House.(signer of the Declaration of Independance) We've visited Montpelier-Monticello-Mt.Vernon but this was quite different from them, this was primarily a show house and living in the city of Annopolis they didn't have to be so self-sufficient as the Virginia hicks did.
#4 Going to meet Cara at a chain restaurant called Eggspectations. She was up here visiting a friend, and her friend and friend's (8 month old? correct me if I'm wrong) kiddo were along. Her godson was having a "Mohawk Hair Day" + was an absolute knock-out, cute as could be. Should work in his favor when he does get to be a teenager! She treated us all to lunch.(that's REAL Tennessean hospitality!) We talked D-stuff, non D-stuff, and walked around in the Artic Blast, visited another shop and then they went home. She's pretty cool.(and we have the same type of camera!)
(and I just noticed the creepy guy staring out the window...weird)
#5 Getting a $25 gc/purchase of a new RX coupon from CVS...because they're incredibly rare and its great timing, the beginning of the year always brings horrendous copays and every little bit helps.
#6 Semi-annual cleaning of the diamond ring...and having the Zales salesperson semi-cuss-me-out. " X-Y-Z, this is so dirty! How did it get that way?" Ok, its dirty, that's why I'm here, to have it cleaned. Neither her language nor her tone was appropriate to lambast a customer with. My husband didn't pay good money to have me treated that way. I was slightly peeved, I don't think I've ever been cussed out by a salesperson before.(not even when I should have been!)
#7 Playing games at Dave & Busters.. its such a fun place and I could totally spend the rest of my life in there.
#8 Studying for microbiology test #1(lecture). Ack, ack, ack.(now behind me)
#9 Wondering if this will be the week that A. my sensor coverage comes through and B. my Office Depot gift card arrives and I'll be able to get my longed-for Iphone.
#10 Reading poems of yesteryear + thinking, wow, was I ever so young and clueless back then,I thought the pump would solve everything.
#11 Semi-Annual Stuffing at the Golden Corral. Every time I go there, I gain five pounds.(hence it is good that we only go 2x a year)
#12 Downloading my Valentine's Day Ipod Playlist:
1. How do I love her-Steven Curtis Chapman
2. I'm yours
3. Sincerely Yours- Petra
4. Head over Heels- 4HIM
5. LOVE-Nat King Cole (?)
6. When You're Loved- Debbie Boone
7. All you need is Love- The Beatles
8. I Walk the Line- Johnny Cash
9. Because of You-Reba McIntire
10. Cleaning this Gun-Rodney Atkins
11. Testify to Love- Avalon
12. I'm not gonna write you a love song- Sara Bareilles
(gift from my very sweet husband)
#2 A workout at the Love Triangle. I call it that, because it has my doctor's office, the gym, and CVS in the same general area so whatever you need, you're covered! (injured, hop on over to docs and pick up RX at CVS). Only I always end up going across the street to McDonalds and stuffing my face because workouts make me incredibly hungry and there's just no way I'm going to pay $5.99 for a "Rejuvenating Fruit Smoothie."
#2 An hour long wait to The Pasta Place because the place didn't take reservations. Sigh. It was good though, awesome Italian carby goodness that was well worth the insulin. No candlelight, but it was dim enough in there to qualify as being in the Twilight Zone anyway.
#3 A Visit to the William Paca House.(signer of the Declaration of Independance) We've visited Montpelier-Monticello-Mt.Vernon but this was quite different from them, this was primarily a show house and living in the city of Annopolis they didn't have to be so self-sufficient as the Virginia hicks did.
#4 Going to meet Cara at a chain restaurant called Eggspectations. She was up here visiting a friend, and her friend and friend's (8 month old? correct me if I'm wrong) kiddo were along. Her godson was having a "Mohawk Hair Day" + was an absolute knock-out, cute as could be. Should work in his favor when he does get to be a teenager! She treated us all to lunch.(that's REAL Tennessean hospitality!) We talked D-stuff, non D-stuff, and walked around in the Artic Blast, visited another shop and then they went home. She's pretty cool.(and we have the same type of camera!)
(and I just noticed the creepy guy staring out the window...weird)#5 Getting a $25 gc/purchase of a new RX coupon from CVS...because they're incredibly rare and its great timing, the beginning of the year always brings horrendous copays and every little bit helps.
#6 Semi-annual cleaning of the diamond ring...and having the Zales salesperson semi-cuss-me-out. " X-Y-Z, this is so dirty! How did it get that way?" Ok, its dirty, that's why I'm here, to have it cleaned. Neither her language nor her tone was appropriate to lambast a customer with. My husband didn't pay good money to have me treated that way. I was slightly peeved, I don't think I've ever been cussed out by a salesperson before.(not even when I should have been!)
#7 Playing games at Dave & Busters.. its such a fun place and I could totally spend the rest of my life in there.
#8 Studying for microbiology test #1(lecture). Ack, ack, ack.(now behind me)
#9 Wondering if this will be the week that A. my sensor coverage comes through and B. my Office Depot gift card arrives and I'll be able to get my longed-for Iphone.
#10 Reading poems of yesteryear + thinking, wow, was I ever so young and clueless back then,I thought the pump would solve everything.
#11 Semi-Annual Stuffing at the Golden Corral. Every time I go there, I gain five pounds.(hence it is good that we only go 2x a year)
#12 Downloading my Valentine's Day Ipod Playlist:
1. How do I love her-Steven Curtis Chapman
2. I'm yours
3. Sincerely Yours- Petra
4. Head over Heels- 4HIM
5. LOVE-Nat King Cole (?)
6. When You're Loved- Debbie Boone
7. All you need is Love- The Beatles
8. I Walk the Line- Johnny Cash
9. Because of You-Reba McIntire
10. Cleaning this Gun-Rodney Atkins
11. Testify to Love- Avalon
12. I'm not gonna write you a love song- Sara Bareilles
Thursday, February 12, 2009
From Endo, With Love
I'm not sure how it happened, but...
My a1c has gone down. By 0.8. Which puts me exactly where I was last year at this time.
(in the 8's, which is much better then the 9's). I'm feelin' the buzz from that, its moving in the right direction.(at least)
The rest of the appt. was fairly unproductive, my endo doesn't much like Pings(they're rather difficult to get the basals and TDD from + the meters read 40+ higher then the Ultra) and discussing my major hurdle toward better bgs...my fear of humongous boluses even when I know I need it. Because when I crash from one of them,it is a major crash + not pretty. I would rather square wave something then bolus it all up front,and sometimes you need everything up front.(like for cereal)If I have my Dex on,I'm not as afraid to do large boluses but because approval/paperwork for sensors has been stuck in insurance land since the beginning of Jan. I don't have that safety guard. The main reason my a1c has come down is because of my overnights, which have been pretty rock-solid awesome for the past few months.
Paperwork to get yearly bloodwork...a refill rx. Hey insurance, please hurry up with that paperwork, I need those sensors!
And that question, which popped up once again- "When are you planning to have kids?"
I didn't tell her what happened last month, and I'm not sure it would have done any good(not info she needs to know unless A. I stay pregnant or B.it happens more then once) When do I plan to have kids...probably never. Don't want to be told what I already know.(a1c must be in optimal range or that could be a major reason in miscarriages)
But all in all, it wasn't a total disaster + its good that I went.
My a1c has gone down. By 0.8. Which puts me exactly where I was last year at this time.
(in the 8's, which is much better then the 9's). I'm feelin' the buzz from that, its moving in the right direction.(at least)
The rest of the appt. was fairly unproductive, my endo doesn't much like Pings(they're rather difficult to get the basals and TDD from + the meters read 40+ higher then the Ultra) and discussing my major hurdle toward better bgs...my fear of humongous boluses even when I know I need it. Because when I crash from one of them,it is a major crash + not pretty. I would rather square wave something then bolus it all up front,and sometimes you need everything up front.(like for cereal)If I have my Dex on,I'm not as afraid to do large boluses but because approval/paperwork for sensors has been stuck in insurance land since the beginning of Jan. I don't have that safety guard. The main reason my a1c has come down is because of my overnights, which have been pretty rock-solid awesome for the past few months.
Paperwork to get yearly bloodwork...a refill rx. Hey insurance, please hurry up with that paperwork, I need those sensors!
And that question, which popped up once again- "When are you planning to have kids?"
I didn't tell her what happened last month, and I'm not sure it would have done any good(not info she needs to know unless A. I stay pregnant or B.it happens more then once) When do I plan to have kids...probably never. Don't want to be told what I already know.(a1c must be in optimal range or that could be a major reason in miscarriages)
But all in all, it wasn't a total disaster + its good that I went.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Happy Microbiologist
I have white coat syndrome.
Yeah, there's the normal kind...where you're sitting in the docs office, heartrate/blood pressure skyrocketing and your bg getting the maximum glycogen-glucose conversion possible.(this will occur on Friday, when I'm waiting for the results of my fingerstick a1c + a subsequent endo appt.)
But I also have another kind of white coat syndrome, the type where you feel like hot stuff(perhaps I should call it the MD syndrome). Microbiology is FUN,(quick, how many carbohydrates in an Agar dish?) and wearing a white coat propels one off on a quite intoxicating power trip. No wonder many docs act like complete dictator jerks.
There's also another pumper at my lab table so if either one of us starts eating Agar it will be clear to the other one what's going on.
I think I'll be taking a picture and putting it on my Twitter profile because wow, I look good in a white coat. Really, really good.
Yeah, there's the normal kind...where you're sitting in the docs office, heartrate/blood pressure skyrocketing and your bg getting the maximum glycogen-glucose conversion possible.(this will occur on Friday, when I'm waiting for the results of my fingerstick a1c + a subsequent endo appt.)
But I also have another kind of white coat syndrome, the type where you feel like hot stuff(perhaps I should call it the MD syndrome). Microbiology is FUN,(quick, how many carbohydrates in an Agar dish?) and wearing a white coat propels one off on a quite intoxicating power trip. No wonder many docs act like complete dictator jerks.
There's also another pumper at my lab table so if either one of us starts eating Agar it will be clear to the other one what's going on.
I think I'll be taking a picture and putting it on my Twitter profile because wow, I look good in a white coat. Really, really good.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
My Wedding Processional
(it's frustrating that I can't embed the video in my blog..and this is the ONLY YouTube video that really captures the grandness of the moment.)Just envision a large church...majestic organ music(sans the "how do you solve a problem like Heidi" vocals), a crowd about 1/100 the size of the one in the movie and you've got it.
"Here comes the Bride" is not nearly as thrilling as this is.(in my humble opinion) Every time I hear it I want to bawl.
"Here comes the Bride" is not nearly as thrilling as this is.(in my humble opinion) Every time I hear it I want to bawl.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Redefining Wellness
I'm probably not the right person to be writing this, it should be coming from some brainiac phd researcher who's done extensive studies on the role of a positive attitude in chronic disease. And I know I'm not that, half the time...
Regardless, here are my thoughts on the matter. I was reading an article in Time magazine where the author put forth the idea that perhaps its not the absence of disease that makes us healthy, its having the stamina/will to overcome the stuff our body throws at us. Very intriguing idea..and the author should know.(if anyone does) Recipient of a horrid disease at 15, a liver transplant at 22, a colon transplant at 25, and another liver transplant at 29, she hasn't been told she epitomizes the picture of health in quite a long time. But what is healthy? she runs several times a week, has a job, and doesn't let it get in the way of what she wants to do.(she merrily works in the other stuff). One tough cookie.
By that definition, maybe I've got it in me to live longer...it had a bizzaringly cheering-up effect upon me. The human body can withstand a great deal of wear,tear, and abuse before it finally flops out. You've got things you can control, and things you can't, and wellness isn't just about being blessed with perfect health-much of wellness is in the individual's hands. I went to the gym today..first time in a LONG time. Started out at 175. Ended at 138.(because I am sensitive, I usually remove my pump for exercise) As I went through the effects of exercise upon a very out-of-shape body, I was glad for one thing...that at least I knew what it was doing to my blood sugar, my heart rate, everything else. Versus the spandex-clad ultra athletes running next to me who probably don't even know where the energy "crash" comes from. I guess diabetes is good for something. Keeping the body in homeostasis is not an easy job, but its definatly worth it. As Johann Goethe said,"From disease I have learned much, that life could not have taught me any other way," and I would conclude that from disease, I've learned to cherish what wellness truly is.
Regardless, here are my thoughts on the matter. I was reading an article in Time magazine where the author put forth the idea that perhaps its not the absence of disease that makes us healthy, its having the stamina/will to overcome the stuff our body throws at us. Very intriguing idea..and the author should know.(if anyone does) Recipient of a horrid disease at 15, a liver transplant at 22, a colon transplant at 25, and another liver transplant at 29, she hasn't been told she epitomizes the picture of health in quite a long time. But what is healthy? she runs several times a week, has a job, and doesn't let it get in the way of what she wants to do.(she merrily works in the other stuff). One tough cookie.
By that definition, maybe I've got it in me to live longer...it had a bizzaringly cheering-up effect upon me. The human body can withstand a great deal of wear,tear, and abuse before it finally flops out. You've got things you can control, and things you can't, and wellness isn't just about being blessed with perfect health-much of wellness is in the individual's hands. I went to the gym today..first time in a LONG time. Started out at 175. Ended at 138.(because I am sensitive, I usually remove my pump for exercise) As I went through the effects of exercise upon a very out-of-shape body, I was glad for one thing...that at least I knew what it was doing to my blood sugar, my heart rate, everything else. Versus the spandex-clad ultra athletes running next to me who probably don't even know where the energy "crash" comes from. I guess diabetes is good for something. Keeping the body in homeostasis is not an easy job, but its definatly worth it. As Johann Goethe said,"From disease I have learned much, that life could not have taught me any other way," and I would conclude that from disease, I've learned to cherish what wellness truly is.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Eye of the Storm
Snow is coming down. Real white stuff, flying thick and furious. Of course it came at the absolute best time...yesterday I drove down to my eye exam, not thinking that it would do anything today. (it NEVER does)
Like most eye exams,I was in there over three hours(par for the course), they refuse to put my married name on there(I've also been trying to fix that for 1+ years). I think I'll just give up at some point. Visual fields, resident with his medical student in tow. Nice enough, and had a last name that could actually be pronounced/remembered. Dilation. Comment about my lack of perfect control,which I tuned out. Back out to waiting room. Back in again. Bright lights, more drops.
"Hmmmmm-ummmm-hmmmmm-lookright-look left--look up===look down---hmmmm"
"They don't look too bad."
"WHAT?WHAT does that mean? No proliferative or nonproliferative damage????"
"No diabetes changes."
Sigh of relief. Another test, the Hess test. That measures the amount of double vision, and that has changed slightly since the last visit. Recheck in 6 months.
Came home today...in slushy junk/traffic jams(4 hours drive) and had to go straight to microbio lab(1 pm, was late to boot) because they DIDN'T CANCEL school. Stupid.(the entire world is shutting down and they don't). First major snow.
Like most eye exams,I was in there over three hours(par for the course), they refuse to put my married name on there(I've also been trying to fix that for 1+ years). I think I'll just give up at some point. Visual fields, resident with his medical student in tow. Nice enough, and had a last name that could actually be pronounced/remembered. Dilation. Comment about my lack of perfect control,which I tuned out. Back out to waiting room. Back in again. Bright lights, more drops.
"Hmmmmm-ummmm-hmmmmm-lookright-look left--look up===look down---hmmmm"
"They don't look too bad."
"WHAT?WHAT does that mean? No proliferative or nonproliferative damage????"
"No diabetes changes."
Sigh of relief. Another test, the Hess test. That measures the amount of double vision, and that has changed slightly since the last visit. Recheck in 6 months.
Came home today...in slushy junk/traffic jams(4 hours drive) and had to go straight to microbio lab(1 pm, was late to boot) because they DIDN'T CANCEL school. Stupid.(the entire world is shutting down and they don't). First major snow.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Four Freedoms: Freedom From Fear
"We have nothing to fear, but fear itself..." Franklin D. Roosevelt
Fear is a very powerful emotion-it certainly helps to have tools to be able to keep the biggie fear(hypoglycemia) at bay. As well as all the other fears diabetes conjures up. We are fortunate to have an emergency medical system in this country, as much as it is a paralyzing, numbing experience it has saved the lives of countless PWD's and is really better then the alternative.
(having said that, Roosevelt obviously didn't have diabetes although polio must suck pretty bad too)
Fear is a very powerful emotion-it certainly helps to have tools to be able to keep the biggie fear(hypoglycemia) at bay. As well as all the other fears diabetes conjures up. We are fortunate to have an emergency medical system in this country, as much as it is a paralyzing, numbing experience it has saved the lives of countless PWD's and is really better then the alternative.
(having said that, Roosevelt obviously didn't have diabetes although polio must suck pretty bad too)
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Jolt
When they called the first time, it was beyond belief, drop-you-dead in your tracks unbelievable. And I didn't believe it, I used the word "impossible" twice in the resulting dialogue.
And then they called the second time, and the emotions of time #1 rose and plummeted to the deepest depths. I didn't say "that's impossible." I didn't say much of anything, because the rollarcoaster ride was just too much.
I am angry. Angry at diabetes. Angry that I can't just have a normal life and have kids, have a career, have a life.
I had a miscarriage last week. Not that I was aware of it, by the time I knew I was
I'd been whammied by abdominal pains/period(check, for 2.5 weeks late) and a few days later, well, I wasn't.(plummeted hcg levels) Yes, I use birth control. (for years, people) That apparently, doesn't always work(why NOW?) and add diabetes and what chance did anything have of making it. I know my diabetes isn't in good enough control for a baby. So why do these things happen? Seems like a pwd can't do anything without risk. I've got so many mixed up emotions, I don't know how you're supposed to deal with something like this. I didn't want to be pregnant but when I learned I was I would have continued it. It's something that never occured to me..that you could get pregnant on bc. Maybe my control caused it, maybe it was something else. Really, I'm not sure I could survive a D pregnancy but I'd do my best.(I do want to be a parent someday but I always thought it'd be by adoption)
All I know is, I need to do better on my D-control. That, or get my tubes tied.
(apologies for the graphicness of the post)
And then they called the second time, and the emotions of time #1 rose and plummeted to the deepest depths. I didn't say "that's impossible." I didn't say much of anything, because the rollarcoaster ride was just too much.
I am angry. Angry at diabetes. Angry that I can't just have a normal life and have kids, have a career, have a life.
I had a miscarriage last week. Not that I was aware of it, by the time I knew I was
I'd been whammied by abdominal pains/period(check, for 2.5 weeks late) and a few days later, well, I wasn't.(plummeted hcg levels) Yes, I use birth control. (for years, people) That apparently, doesn't always work(why NOW?) and add diabetes and what chance did anything have of making it. I know my diabetes isn't in good enough control for a baby. So why do these things happen? Seems like a pwd can't do anything without risk. I've got so many mixed up emotions, I don't know how you're supposed to deal with something like this. I didn't want to be pregnant but when I learned I was I would have continued it. It's something that never occured to me..that you could get pregnant on bc. Maybe my control caused it, maybe it was something else. Really, I'm not sure I could survive a D pregnancy but I'd do my best.(I do want to be a parent someday but I always thought it'd be by adoption)
All I know is, I need to do better on my D-control. That, or get my tubes tied.
(apologies for the graphicness of the post)
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