Day 6: My Favorite Blog Post

If you have been blogging for a while, what is your favorite sentence or blogpost that you have ever written? Is it diabetes related or just life related? If you are a new blogger and don't have a favorite yet, tell us what motivated you to start sharing your story by writing a blog? (Thank you Laddie of Test Guess and Go for suggesting this topic.)

Dear Beanie Baby would be my very favorite blog post of all time.


Because in the beginning, it was this.



Followed by this..



And by ten weeks, it was apparent that this was a human being. (favoritist photo of all time, as it looks like he was smiling and waving at me. TEN WEEKS,and it got much more real.)



Grow..(and blow bubbles)


Grow..


Almost ready...



And baby!


It was an amazing process,and despite my inability to make perfect the glucose levels in my blood at all times..babies are scrappy little things and most will get through it just fine. (Although going through for an entire 10 months with not one number in the 400-500's was a pretty miraculous thing too.) One of the perks of having diabetes during pregnancy,they did ultrasounds really frequently.

(and my computer is doing wonky things this morning, so please disregard the weird links that lead to pictures. Only link should lead to my original blog post)

Day 5: A Day in the Life of my Food Choices

Today’s topic is Foods on Friday.  Taking a cue from Adam Brown's recent post, write a post documenting what you eat in a day!  Feel free to add links to recommended recipes/shops/whatever.  Make it an ideal day or a come-as-you-are day – no judgments either way.  (Thank you, Katy of  Bigfoot Child Have Diabetes for this topic.)

Welcome. You have now entered the No Judgement Zone.(aka it's so good to be with friends,although if you are a telemarketer intent on immeadietly sending me a email of the latest super food product please don't. I don't really need it. Also I hope this post makes you feel better about your own food choices because we have all been there & some of us stay there.)

Breakfast:

Usually 2 packs of this,with milk. Sometimes a muffin,or two cereal bars. Sometimes 2 waffles with SF syrup.

Sometimes a couple eggs(hard boiled or fried)

Diet Coke #1 of the day. 

Lunch: Diet Coke #2

   Cheese and lunch meat sandwich.

   Some sort of chip/salsa/dip combo.

   Sometimes a banana and yogurt.

   Sometimes  leftovers.

Snack: whatever I'm in the mood for,

Chips/lunch meat/cheese/pickle/chocolate/nutritional bar. Diet Coke #3. Water. Juice if low.

Supper: some sort of veggie

             (Cooked or salad)

            Some sort of meat

              (Seafood,ground beef,etc.)

            Frequently pasta

               (I don't rise like I do on

                  Pizza or rice.)

             Caffeine free tea or water.

Dessert(ice cream) if we're in the mood. I don't have a very exciting diet and I know I don't eat enough fruits and veggies so I will try to get those super-packed veggie juices to supplement. (along with probiotics and multivitamins)I like most veggies,but I rarely eat fruit.(with the exception of bananas) Summer time I definetly get more nutritional foods in.

Late Late TV Snack: CVS nuts..wasabi and Buffalo Ranch Almonds being the absolute bomb. I also like sunflower seeds,peanuts,& popcorn although if I'm low some candy is liable to enter the picture. The lower the carb,the less chance I'll wake up 300.

           

D Blog Day 4: Changes

Today let's talk about changes, in one of two ways. Either tell us what you'd most like to see change about diabetes, in any way. This can be management tools, devices, medications, people's perceptions, your own feelings – anything at all that you feel could use changing. OR reflect back on some changes you or your loved one has seen or been through since being diagnosed with diabetes. Were they expected or did they surprise you?





In 1924, what did it feel like to receive an expirimental drug that had only been tested on dogs-was it scary?


In 1939, were parents already sick of this "in five years" line?


In 1943, did they dream of a time when their child could be like any other child and eat the piece of birthday cake?


In 1953, were they ever afraid to go to sleep, wondering if their child would have a bad low overnight?


In 1964, did they dream of a device that would tell them the current blood sugar level..day or night?


In 1972, did they ever want to smack the food police?


In 1981, did they ever think that diabetes might still be around, 34 years later?


In 1990, was it social suicide to wear an insulin pump?


In 1995, were pb crackers and oj the first thing people tried to cram down your throat during a hypo?


In 1999, did anyone else stockpile diabetes supplies for Y2K? (besides me)


In 2005, could anyone have dreamed that the failure of the Glucowatch wasn't the worst thing ever and might just

be paving the way to the dawn of the Continuous Glucose Monitor/NightScout/Artificial Pancreas?


So I wonder..what's next for diabetes? Change doesn't come fast enough but it is coming. (in all forms of diabetes) And that gives me hope, because one day I'd like not to have diabetes, and I'd like for my son to have the best tools imaginable if he were to get it. (gene therapy advancement is not as much on researcher's "to do" list as curing T1) It would really suck if they cured type 1 and couldn't cure monogenic diabetes, although that's a whole other can of worms that makes no sense worrying at at the current time. T1 isn't going to be cured any time soon.

Day 3: Cleaning House

Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it?

(Clean up,clean up,everybody everywhere

Clean up,clean up,everybody do your share.- Favorite of pre-K teachers everywhere)

  Oh, how I'd love to clean house on all my diabetes junk.

Bin after bin after bin of stuff accumulated from my 'betes life. I try to organize occasionally and find a home for it if I can't use it myself since it does go into a state of entropy fairly quickly. However,due to the lovely insurance companies screwup you will occasionally still find yourself with about a thousand backup syringes and ONE PUMP SET left due to stupid Edgepark just ignoring your refill order for 17 days,necessitating a panicked call for more. That seems to be part of the mental "joy" that diabetes brings,and as much as I'm ready to ship every piece o'D crap to the incinerator,getting rid of that mental burden would be a greater joy. 

It's there. It's there all the time,and I think that it would be so awesome to clean house both physically and mentally of it all.

Keeping it to Yo'self: Dblog Week Day #2

Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see. What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet? Or from your family and friends? Why is it important to keep it to yourself? (This is not an attempt to get you out of your comfort zone. There is no need to elaborate or tell personal stories related to these aspects. Simply let us know what kinds of stories we will never hear you tell, and why you won't tell them.) (Thank you Scott E of Rolling in the D for this topic.)

Good rule of thumb: if something could potentially damage the reputation (or otherwise) of another human being, then you have no business sharing it on the 'net. So, about that non-existant reputation that I have...well, I hope its fairly intact. You won't ever see drunk photos on here because there are (thankfully) none, but sometimes I wonder if I've kept my blog really that pristine clean.


I try. I try not to post anything embarressing to those that I care about. And there are things I don't share, because I've promised my husband I would not do so. Its for his comfort and peace of mind, because sometimes I have a hard time not oversharing. I don't have a problem telling you my a1c, or any other number. But the one thing that I rarely share, and its more of the case that I just never felt that anyone else could have this issue to the extent that I do..is my fear of hypoglycemia. It strikes hard, and it strikes fast, and although the last time I ended up on the side of a dextrose drip has been years I still think that it may kill me someday. So what does this mean? It means that I usually under dose, and deal with hyperglycemia just so that I won't have to deal with the low. (when 1 unit plus exercise can drop you over 100 points you just aren't that fond of going by the CDE/Endo's recamondation) I really, really, really, really want to stay alive for my family. And yes, I have a Dexcom, and a pump, and can adjust things and test, treat, as needed. But if you've ever gone from 70 to 33 in 15 minutes (requiring glucagon), had lows that took over 120 carbohydrates to treat, seen numbers under 20, or shook semi-conscous in the arms of an EMT you cannot forget that. I think its kind of a post-traumatic situation that you can't ever just feel ok about. I don't under-dose to lose weight, I under dose to stay alive. My endo does not understand this,given my access to modern technology. ("You have a Dexcom. You don't have to flip out. Take the recommended dose.")

So I struggle, and probably will until there's some sort of Artificial Pancreas that's better at this numbers game then I am. I'm not sure if there are any mental health professionals out there that understand either, I tried that too. They didn't understand the complex relationship with the medication that is never consistent in its dose age needs. I don't know what the answer is,but every day is a struggle between what I know should be done, and not wanting to deal with the resulting hypoglycemia.

I Can...(Say Yes)

In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...” that participants found wonderfully empowering. So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes. What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could? Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of? Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life? (Thank you to the anonymous person who submitted this topic suggestion.)




(I save things.This is no secret,but if you're looking for obscure insulin pump promo posters from the turn of the century, odds are I have them.)

December, 1998.

"You can't be in the military."

"You can't fly a plane."

"You can't be in the FBI or police or anything along those lines."

"You can have a child, and odds are that child won't have diabetes!!"
(quite frankly,it wasn't really on the radar at the time and the added bit about passing it on
made me that much more annoyed/freaked about it.)

"You can't eat what you want, when you want...you must eat three meals and two snacks every day."

"You can't go barefoot on the beach."

"You can't drink anything with sugar in it unless you're low, and you must follow your meal plan."

"You can't go without your medical alert."



Back in the day, and even still, the switch to an insulin pump was a very big, big thing. Because suddenly all those things that they said you "had" to do, gained a small amount of wiggle room. Suddenly, some people could do those things..and then most people could do those things, and it was a brave new world of pump wearing, barefoot baring,eat whatever you want daredevil PWD who were doing all this and rocking their respective sub 6 a1cs. (even some T1's in the military) And you wanted to be a part of that.

So you said yes.

You said yes to that switch from Regular and Lente to Humalog and Lente.

You said yes to that switch from H&L to the pump.

You said yes to switching to a new meter.

You said yes to starting to read diabetes blogs and websites and getting to know others with the disease.

You said yes to getting a CGM.

You said yes to being an active participant in your care-not just letting your doctor telling you what to do.

You said yes to plunging ahead toward your dream job, whether or not it worked out.

You said yes to having a baby, & letting your heart walk around on the outside forever and ever.

You said yes to the prospect of a brighter, diabetes-less, tomorrow.


Because I see others doing those things, and diabetes never stole that from me.(even if their path isn't my path, its not a diabetes thing)

Better

"I want you to promise me something, Heidi."

"Sure." (ANYTHING. Dear Lord,what am I doing,what am I even saying? Stop.Stop right now before he asks you to get your a1c to 4 & you agreed to this? No.)

" I want you to promise me that you will fight for you,to not give up on this, to not give up on yourself,you need this. You are worth it. And I want you to live a good long life, with sixty more years."

Yes. Yes. YES. Of course I was going to agree to that, that I was going to plow forward, to keep up the fight, to continue the struggle to keep up my magnesium issues. Never a question. As I hugged my nephrologist goodbye that day, it was never an issue that I was going to not try.

And here I am, 12 months later,with his colleague,who is about as interesting as a block of wood. Also said colleague is not very knowledgable about magnesium deficiency and gets heart palpitations if my levels go below 1.2. Also we don't have conversations,we have one sided monologues where he expects me to obey without question. Also I don't think he cares about me as a person,at all,because he doesn't even bother with small talk. I miss my old doctor. And I know that better is out there,but since I've been spoiled with excellent I probably won't be able to find it.I wish I could though,because I know my old nephrologist would want that for me.

Gahhhhhhhhh.