Sunday, June 01, 2014

The YoYo Effect

Up. Down. Up. Down.

Such is the flow of life with type 1 diabetes,and it can be wearing at times. Especially as the days turn to months,the months turn to seasons,the seasons turn to years,the years turn to decades.

"Are we there yet?"

We are a long way from being "there", a long way from anything resembling a cure. Slamming the door on hope is a hard thing to do,but I think we can at least hope that things will get better in our lifetimes.(in terms of diabetes treatments) And maybe,a cure. But having another condition for which most of the world has never heard about let alone have any interest in,the concept of having that ever cured is very much the hopeless one.(I'd far rather have the 'betes cured anyway,but still,the research is driven by the masses who have it.)

There are times,like three nights ago,where I get tired of it.All of it. Site changes/pump change outs get pushed back/undone,and I just go to bed..not caring if I wake up 300+ at 2 am.(and I do) There is always something to be done with diabetes,always some device to charge(pump,meter,Dexcom,phone),always some blood sugar to check/correct,always some carbohydrate to be consumed at all hours of the day and night,always some phone call to make regarding the meds/supplies that keep me alive. It's all diabetes,all the time.

"Do not go quietly into that good night
Rage,rage,against the dying of the light."

-Dylan Thomas

It gets very wearing sometimes,but neither magnesium deficiency or diabetes is going to stop me from at least trying to stay strong,even though I suspect the only strong part of me may be my stubbornness. I don't feel strong,I feel tired all the time and mentally "ok" until it all just piles up and I just completely crash.
I don't want it to win,at least not for the next 40 years or so. I'm not the only person fighting daily battles against diabetes(and all those other annoying diseases)..and I realize how many others have died,so prematurely, from this disease. (We all seem to have this notion that "control"= no bad things will happen. Not true.) Ultimately, it boils down to genetics/lifestyle/and not getting hit by any one of the millions of idiotic drivers as to how long you can live with this disease.
(Sorry, my car got smashed up in the parking lot the other day..and I am having fun dealing with the police,insurance company,and the car repair shop.)

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Scott K. Johnson said...

It is exhausting, isn't it? And I often marvel at the strength we have - the stubbornness to keep marching forward and trying the hardest we can, even when it sometimes doesn't feel like we are.

Sorry to hear about your car... that sucks, and is just one more fun thing to deal with.

Hope to see you in a few days down in FL!

John Kuhnemund said...

Sad to hear that.

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