The Check Up

So I went to my 6 week OB-GYN follow up today...while my mom babysat for me. Maneuvering the heavy infant carrier & a diaper bag etc. over a 1/2 mile of hospital terrain,etc. is not a feat I'm up to quite yet. And I was 15 min.late, which means that they couldn't fit me into their jampacked schedule for another hour. Since I've now reached the (advanced)age of 30(seriously,they said so) in addition to the scar check, they did the yearly check exam,etc. I didn't know that 30 was such a big deal(perhaps reproductively it is). The Csection scar is doing ok,still tender to the touch but these things take time to heal. And its been confirmed that,if I wanted to have any more kids it would have to be via Csection. (the reason for the C-Section dictates one's future in that regard) So really,you have to go through labor unsuccessfully before they'll "know" that said birth canal is too narrow,a concept I don't totally understand (why they can't predict that in some way,what with the probable trillions of births since the beginning of time). Some people have gone on to have vaginal births post C-Section, but it's my observations that many people just opt to have another C-Section. I've got nothing against C-Sections,as it pertains to the whole "Nature VS Medicine" thing...the point is,to get the child out,not to have some sort of religious experience,but it is true that docs really don't like you to have a vaginal birth after a section & will tell you that you have to have another C-Section unecessarily. Repeated C-Sections increase ones risk of uterine rupture(etc.) & at some number,(4?)hospitals refuse to do them,the risks are so high. I'll never be Michelle Duggar,but I don't like anyone telling me anything. And I don't think I'd want enough kids for that to even be an issue, but time will tell,in that regard.My problem with C-Sections are,they're painful/take very long to fully recover from,plus the baby doesn't get some "immunity" from the birth process. So what I don't quite understand is if it's physically impossible( I mean,the canal is supposed to accommodate &why it didn't I don't understand) or if the doc is just saying it because that's what OB-GYN's do. I need an impartial party to explain it to me, I guess.( like an L&D nurse)

As addicting as babies are,
I don't plan to repeat the experience for awIhile. Pregnancy was a time of great physical & mental stress & my brain needs healing,as well as my body. I ate,slept,& breathed guilt for 10 months & it didn't magically disappear the minute I delivered. I really appreciate the normal hum/drumness of being not pregnant now,& diabetes wise,my control got much better(funny how that happens,when you're supposed to be in great control DURING,not after). I am much more comfortable with taking huge amounts of insulin/prebolusing then I was pre-pregnancy,& I think that'll work to my advantage on the next a1c. I still have alot of conflicting feelings about said pregnancy..& I know that if I ever have any more,there are things that I'd do very differently. I think that having a baby in the NICU for even a minor reason makes you aware of how much worse things really could have been,& how grateful you are when they get out happy & healthy.And that's what it's all about,even at 3 am when they're crying to be fed & you're dead to the
world but then they smile at you & suddenly the night is not as dark anymore. He's the cutest thing since, well, Sep.1, 1981...
(haha)

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