Monday, March 09, 2009

The Melanoma

Sometimes, it's just a mole on your back.

(I have a couple...let's just leave it at that. You don't want to see them)

And sometimes, it's a Melanoma.


Diabetes is my melanoma right now. Spreading into every waking and non-waking moment. Always there, silently demanding, yet giving back nothing in return.
I have never had cancer, thank goodness, but I have seen what it can do to people's spirits as well as their bodies. Psychologically it is really hard.(worse then D,I think)
I have to say, running to the CDE/Endo for fresh ideas makes the lag even worse sometimes. Let's get even MORE intense about something you're already 100% (immersed/sick and tired of) in!

Growing, growing,growing until the weight of the world is on your shoulders. As much as I'd like to obtain that stellar a1c instantly there are issues that will not be solved immeadiently(it took 10 years to make them and its not going to take 3 months to unmake them) and sometimes its too much. I need to feel like something other then a diabetic. I need to let it just be the mole on the back again...and not read,breathe,talk,sleep,live diabetes 24/7. And that might take the form of not posting on this blog or other D-sites as often. I cannot "stop" the basics of care but I can slack off in other areas to regain that "I'm something other then a collection of pancreatic cells run amuck" sense of well being.


JaimieH said...

great post.. I relate to it very much! sometimes you need a break but for some reason I keep getting sucked back in day after day lol...I read and read and research and research...I need to learn to relax with the big "D" and give back a little more time to my family again....

Cara said...

I understand. I hope you get back a little bit of "you". I get times like that. Diabetes is just all-consuming at times.