Thursday, August 07, 2008

If PWD's ruled the World

...there would be a cure. Pure and simple. But in the absence of a cure:

1.Police would check for a medical alert first before throwing you in the car, destination night in the slammer.

2. Children with diabetes would be able to check blood, etc. in the classroom, in short, be able to manage their D without the teachers/lawyers/ whoever going beserk.

3. At convenience stores, there would be 101 types of diet sodas/flavored waters/teas/carb free drinks and one 2-3 "real" drinks, in case you needed them for a low.

4. Your car would have a built-in bg meter and you couldn't start it without testing(being at LEAST 80) initially and every 2-4 hours.

5. CGM's would have mandated, 100% coverage.

6. Bathroom stalls would each have a little ledge to balance meter, etc. Bathrooms are extremily unhygenic places to do the diabetes business but everyone ends up doing it there, sometimes.

7. Saying "Should you be eating that?" would be a criminal offense, punishable by 6 months of hardcore CDE brainwashing and the concurrent diet of black bread and water.

8.Test strips and insulin would not cost $1 each +$110/vial, respectfully. Supply would far outstrip demand.

9. Swimming pools would come equiped with an optional "Low Station" booth, which could be stocked with tabs, juice, glucagon, etc. And we'd not be banned from access to food or drinks.

10. Lifeguards would be trained in giving glucagon.

11. Endocrinologists would have to pass a "Trial by PWD's" ever five years, to make sure they were fit to be practicing medicine.

12. Fashion designers would incorporate more hidden pockets, etc, into pump friendly clothing.

13. Being "HIGH" would not cost you your job.

14. Toilets would automactically check for ketones, when you flushed.

15. Once a month, there would be a national "I Hate Diabetes" day + anything you wanted to destroy(of your own, that is) or eat, would be perfectly permissable.

16. Spas would give out "Pamper the Feet, Keep the Feet" massage vouchers to every PWD.

17. Caffeine would be measured and recorded in beverages. (I know I'm not the only one who spikes from it!)

18. Movie theaters would have built-in back lights on the back of the seats for testing blood sugar in the dark.

19. Hospitals would not discharge you with a blood sugar level of 390 mg/dl.

20. We would not callously ignore the unconscious individual laying on the subway platform..honestly, who does something like that?(read the news) We know what its like to be in need of assistance)

21. Every restaurant would have nutritional info for everything on their menus.

22. Meters would come in the full spectrum of colors..per gratis.(why pay $70 when you can get one free?)

23. Duct tape and pump tubing would fix anything.

24. We'd all have the same weird symptom at 70 mg/dl and we'd be able to recognize and treat before it progressed.

25. Test strips and empty vials would be biodegradable.

26. Meter's would be 100% accurate. None of that +/- 30% crap, what you see is what you are.

27. An a1v under 6 would put you in the Diabetes Hall of Fame...right up there with Gary Hall, JR.

28. Meters would spontaneously combust, if your average was too high.(I hate a high average, it's like screw this for the next 2 months!)

29. "The Dawn Phenomenon" would be the name of the next blockbuster summer horror movie flick.

30. People would not be judged, on how many accountermants they needed to live a healthy life..your not a weirdo for needing a pump, glasses, wheelchair,CGM, etc.The personality of the person,would speak for itself.(not the preconceived notion of what the individual could or could not do)

31. The "Quilt for Life" would be a permanent exhibit in one of the buildings in DC.

That's my list..what do you guys think it would be like, if PWD's ruled the world?


Scott said...

Great list! Keep track of them, perhaps we can add to the list over time!

Scott K. Johnson said...

I love it too! Awesome!

George said...

That is perfect! I love number 3 ;)