The Most Awesome Thing

I've thought about this, and the vast majority of the stuff that I've done with diabetes is just general life stuff. Or, as a direct consequence of chronic disease. And I feel like (life-wise) that I'm JUST getting started (on the grand and glorious degree seeking, family, etc. Things that one could feel pride over,I can't really yet.) Jobs I've disliked(but stuck with for the insurance)...surgeries, hospitalizations, research studies that no sane person would ever subject themselves to, vacations spent at FFL(etc.) No one really wants to hear THAT. (yeah, being alive is a pretty major accomplishment but its often because of D, not separated from it) I have gotten married, stayed married (thus far),moved out on my own (for two years-before getting married), bought three cars,and self-sustained myself without having to file for bankruptcy (so there's that).

But there was one time that I did feel like an advocate for type 1's everywhere...when I went on Fear Factor. (I won't repost it here, but you can access it via the link) That really got my adrenaline going..& although I didn't make it very far,it helped me get over the "type 1's can't do things of that nature" mind-block. Type 1's (or 2's) can do whatever the heck they want,and even WIN. (see also, The Amazing Race winners, one of who has type 1) I would love to be on another game show (of that nature) if the chance presented itself. (I tried out for Jeopardy once,and almost made it past the first draft, was off by about 2 questions.That was a level of stress far beyond jumping off a building.)


“This post is my February entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival. If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2011/introducing-the-dsma-blog-carnival/“

The Blood Sugar Diaries

"How's your blood sugar?"

"What's your blood sugar?"

"Have you checked your blood sugar today?"

"What's your blood sugar generally range?"

I've gotten alot of that lately,& quite frankly,it's driving me up the wall. Quite frankly,there is never a time where the PWD cannot think about their blood sugars and today, I may be 300, tomorrow,30. The health care providers in question aren't asking you your latest a1c...they are asking you,judging you, on your blood sugar at that very minute. An hour from now it may be a whole different story. Not to mention they don't plan to do anything about it. (except label you "noncompliant" & "out of control" anyway) In nursing school, the label non-compliant is tossed around every three sentences anyway...& most of the time,gets applied to the patient with diabetes. It is an actual nursing diagnosis and you HAVE to use it. Words cannot express how much I loathe that term & how it is a cop out for figuring out what us really going on. At some point, I will write a paper on how that term needs to be abolished.
Anyway....back to the blood sugars.Why is that a topic that gets zero privacy & always gets asked?(I get that they need to "know" it but other sensitive topics,like "how many times have you pooped today?" could be construed in much the same light.And docs don't generally ask THAT.) I am really tired of talking about,discussing and dissecting and digressing and dealing with the topic of blood sugars. Yes,I do it everyday...it's my life.And yes,I do consult my Endo/Diabetes Educator on occasion. But everyone else (in the health care field,& the diabetes police) get on my nerves.(not the online community,they "get it" & I dint mind discussing online) I guess that's why I haven't been to a pump group meeting in forever because even there it tends to get a bit grilling. They all have a1c's in the 5's and 6's and are a tad unbelievable. (not that they aren't nice,but they are just in a totally different world) I need to hang out with REAL PWD. People who forget/leave their pumps at home,who have eaten themselves from 40 to 400 and will admit to having done so. People who don't claim to be perfect.(I also need to to figure out a better answer then "kindasortofnormalrange" which tends to produce blank looks & even more grueling of the blood sugars.) I guess I just hate that it's not considered private at all...& while I'm the one who manages it,the peanut gallery can still have their say about how much better I could be doing. (much like backseat drivers telling you how to drive a car)

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Casualty: 1900's (YouTube)

My latest tv show addiction. As I don't live in the UK,I just found out about it.(via Amazon Video on Demand) It's kind of like "ER" (early 1900's style) It was a totally different world..gloves were used only during surgery & nurses weren't allowed to get married.(they were married to their jobs)People died routinely of infections,(staff caught them from patients) there were no antibiotics. (they did practice isolation techniques but weren't very effective at containing outbreaks)
Regretfully, it only had two seasons.(and I think that's all it will have) I've finally figured out that the English title sister would be a charge nurse in the US. (see also: My Experience in an English Hospital)I guess some hospitals still go by those titles.(if not all) This show is like crack cocaine,it's got the doctor/nurse romance, the spurting blood,the women's right issues,and pretty much everything a good medical drama should have.And it's primarily from the nursing student (aka "Probationers") point of view so it's really interesting seeing how that differs from nursing student's today.(and yet,so much is the same)I highly recommend watching them all, if you enjoy things of that nature.

Veni, Vidi, Vici

I studied.


I came, stowed all beeping electronic devices in my car,and walked into the classroom with a roll of glucose tabs in my pocket.


I(along with the rest of the class, row by row) came up and stored every possible physical belonging AT THE FRONT OF THE CLASSROOM NEXT TO THE INSTRUCTOR'S DESK.(it was like being in Kindergarten,the only thing you were allowed to have were 2 pencils(which must be non mechanical) a sheet of paper,and your test/scantron.)

And I took the test.(under meter/blood sugar anxiety)

And I went back out to my car,grabbed my meter,and tested 325 mg/dl, 1 hour and 30 minutes later.

I really,really, really need those accommodations..its one thing worrying about the test(I shouldn't have to worry about my blood sugar too). I'm not that likely to go low-I just need the freedom to be able to check(and adjust) at will. It's very obvious that I need a cranked up basal rate(and possibly an adjusted mealtime Insulin/Carb ratio as well) One test passed(grade wise)and yet it most definatly wasn't a success, diabetes wise.One Stress-a-thon seriously shoots the whole day's numbers to pot.
Still waiting on the paperwork from my Endo's office,(for the accommodations)and it looks like I'll have to take another test in much the same manner.(before it all gets straightened out) I also don't know exactly how the accommodations will play out-perhaps I'll have to take my tests in the testing center.

YouTube: Study Skillz

Love this video!!(it captures well the amount of knowledge flying around that you're expected to learn/apply/regurgitate on command)

Owner of a Broken Brain

I'm studying this weekend for a test...my first of many. It mattereth not that it is Super Bowl Sunday, & it mattereth not that I have a horrendous cold/simultaneous monthly occurrence (sorry for the TMI,it is what it is), & it mattereth not that there are also next week's classes to get ready for..somehow I have to stuff 3 weeks of knowledge into my already stuffed-up head. I have to meet with various advisors as well.(next week,it's still really overwhelming)There is no time to be sick-if you miss 2-3 occurrences, you will fall so far behind that they consider you not able to keep up with the program & kick you out. It's scary,& simultaneously annoying. (if I have infected the entire lab group/instructor with my 7 hours of sneezing,sniffling,nose blowing,& coughing, don't blame me. I didn't mean too but you can see why I can't leave) I am still very overwhelmed & I'm pretty sure that feeling will be sticking around awhile.(keep swimming,try not to drown)



And last Saturday's run to the cupcake shop/JDRF summit sadly did not extend it's happiness into this weekend...my husband ate the last one today.Was extremely good while it lasted though.(loved,loved,LOVED the peanut butter frosting one)Cupcakes rock. The JDRF Summit was excellent as well.

Making the "D" List

444 mg/dl.


I know it to be true,long before the blood & the test strip met(in not-so-perfect harmony). My mouth is dry,my eyes heavy,& I'm ready to snap at the slightest provocation. But one task remains,at the end of another school day...a task that is as foreign to me as anything I have ever done.

I must register my diabetes as a disability. Nursing school demands it,there is no way that I cannot.The instant anything on my person vibrates,shrieks,or goes off (or the day I have a massive low & have to eat) is the instant that I am summarily dismissed,penalized,rejected,expelled,etc. I've never had anything of this nature,for I've never had any need for it.But now,there are 4-5 instructors who don't know me from anyone else & don't care & I've got to cover my bases.(against the bad diabetes day...for they happen) Even D won't get me a "go home" card but if it gets me a predictable lunch break,darn right I'm going to take it.

So I pick up the form,(to bring to my Endo)chug a bottle of water,bolus,& track back to my car...the ending of another unpredictable day-in-the-life with the big D. No idea how I got that high,just yesterday it was perfect bgs all day. I really think people with insulin dependent D deserve some sort of break,like exclusive access to the soda machine(diet,of course) to quench that unquenchable thirst.People without D(or a family member with it) have little clue just how lucky they really have it.

Then and Now

Discovered this meme over at Canadian D-Gal, and it looked fun, so I thought I'd try it.

10 years ago I was:

-in my 2nd semester of community college,and preparing to beginning pumping on Ye Ole Minimed 508.But because my insurance company took 3 months to approve the pump,and it took another 2 months to get a training date I would not actually begin pumping until April.

-working a retail job, and ok with it.

-living at home.

- wishing I could win the lottery.


Five Years ago I was:

-still working that (same) retail job, and hating it.

-finally moving out of home, to my very own place.(small, rented house)

-now pumping with a Deltec Cozmo

-dating a wonderful guy who would later become my husband

- still in community college

-doing my best NOT to go bankrupt

1 Year ago I was:

-finishing the very last nursing school prerequisite! (it only took me 9.5 years, how about that...)

- Enjoying (or not) my first trip to NYC

-working hard to lower my a1c

Yesterday I:

-had a doctor's appointment

-barely ate anything at all until 4 pm because I was busy rushing from one end of the county to the other end so I could get to my class lab on time.

-had a nightmare involving my endo screaming at me for no good reason.

- sacked completely out (post-supper) and did not look at the books at all.(wise, no, since I have mandatory homework but I'd ceased to care)

Today, I:

-woke up to a 125, went back asleep and skyrocketed 120 additional points in two hours(doing nothing).

-ordered cupcakes for a party on Saturday.

-checked the school closings & was elated to find that 5 measly inches DOES cancel school for the day. (although, I have to make it up tomorrow)

-made lists of all the things that I really should be doing.(and haven't done yet)

5 things I'd do with 1 million (or rather, billion) dollars

- buy my parents a house
- set up a foundation for uninsured folks to get the medications (in particular,
diabetes meds) that they need
- go on a year long "tour the globe" trip
- give to charities
- buy my own personal CVS scanner machine

5 favorite TV shows:

- Grey's Anatomy
- Private Practice
- Royal Pains
- House
- The Middle


5 biggest joys

- being alive (and in relatively good health)
- being married
- being in nursing school!
- having health insurance,which gives me the means to do all of above
- a cold diet coke

Low to Go

Lately, I've been having two of my most unfavorite types of lows.( yes,there are types) The worst kind (of course) is the glucagon requiring ones. (bad,bad, BAD to have) And there is no "good" low but the ones which occur in the comfort of ones own home & respond rapidly to the ingestion of glucose aren't too bad.

None of that for me. It's either the brain shakes/freeze in the middle of class or the "non-low-low." It's really mortifying trying to get it together(public lows are horrible) & act like nothing is wrong,when no one else knows you yet(or that you have diabetes). That will change someday..but I'm not the sort of person to blab it out until I need to.(or,are friends with someone) The nursing instructors are extraordinarily competent, intelligent human beings who I think would actually know what to do if I keeled over but right now, I don't want it to get to that stage yet.(having to tell) I will have to(in a few weeks) when I go to clinicals,as you're required to disclose anything that might make you appear loopy. I do need to get (& wear)a new medical ID,for my old one is nowhere to be found.(in the meantime)

The other type of low is the one that feels much worse then it actually is. Case in point: yesterday's 10 pm 68 mg/dl,with NO units of IOB. I ate like I would knock it to 300 & beyond(44 fast carbs), fell asleep, woke up at 2:30 with a 69, ate another 35 carbs & was 133 four hours later. You feel bad because you are dropping quickly, not so much from the actual bg. Or being 108,not low,but dropping extremely rapidly(ton of IOB) & needing to treat it as a low. I treat something how it feels,rather then what it is,when in doubt.All the exercise(tramping all over campus) I've been getting is no doubt triggering these lows.(& until I get some sort of a pattern,all I can do is pack a jar of tabs/3 juice boxes in my backpack,to nip anything before it turns major) Lows will drain every last ounce of remaining energy(& then some) from you.(school plus lows=no desire to go to the gym,ever again) I am exhausted.

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The Dexcom Song

(this is a semi-true story, and is to be sung to the tune of "The Bricklayers Song". All of this didn't happen, but life gets pretty bizarre on the night watch.And last night, was particularly bizarre.)



Dear Maam, I write this song to tell you of a fight

Tween' me and my odd Dexcom, it twern't a pretty sight

Me body is one massive bruise, my glucose 403

And I think that school (in any form) is not for me today.



It was a normal Monday night, basal checks galore

Alarm clock on the ready, juice and tabs on drawer

My Endo said it must be done, and so it was to be

I prepared to follow out The Royal Endocrine Decree.



Now, all went well initially, I was just 123

I felt quite smug, and told myself, it'd go just perfectly

A job half done, I smuggled down, prepared to sleep, to dream

But all was not as steady as would otherwise seem.



At 12 am the Dex went off, I shot up in my bed

Confused, dazed,alarmed...and thoughts raced through my head

The house's aflame, or else I'm low where is that meter when

Your legs are made of jello and the world is in a spin.



My Dexcom shrieked, it was telling me once more

But in me brain I had to know that I was low for sure

I slipped from bed, crawled toward the light, and bumped into a chair

Things were (at that point and time) a little less then fair.



My meter finally in my hands, I got a 52

But tabs, coke, cake and candy would simply not do

I must have juice, and juice alone, no matter what the price

The former lures of chocolate now failed to entice.



Now the juicy-juice spilled over, and dribbled down my face

As I sat there, sweating, shaky, a hypoglycemic daze

It hit the rug, and stained quite blue, and as I finally rose

Left trails to the bed where I would fitfully repose.



Well, I lay there groaning on the bed, and thought that that was that

But then a blur streaked through the door, our gray and fuzzy cat

He jarred the tabs, and down they fell, pelting me full force

As I lay there( cringing) I had PWD's remorse. (apparently, you CAN be too prepared)



I snatched up sturdy Dexcom, and threw it at the wall

But it met instead with fuzzy cat, who then began to howl

My husband woke, and chaos reined, just who is to be blamed

But I'm going with the Dexcom, and that will be maintained.

FDA: Build-A-Pancreas

Jan.17,2011

Dearest FDA,

I've been thinking,lately,of how despised you must be (not just among the D-Community,but among the entire medical community) Everyone wants a cure, yesterday. Your job is to protect us from those drugs & devices out there that (properly or improperly used) have the ability to injur,maim, and kill. I get that,I really do.( & I'm glad that you exist)

But I have diabetes...and sometimes,it feels like everything is "five years away." A Cure. Inhaled Insulin. Smart Insulin. An Artificial Pancreas. And on the subject of the later,the minds at JDRF & the clinical test sites know much more then I do about how it will play out. But they are dependent on us,those of us who live with diabetes..without us,it goes nowhere. At the end of the latest research study,my "Big Picture" got a little bigger.


Right now,it's in phase 2.(still very stuck in the clinical setting) They say phase 3(moving to outpatient,probably a hotel) is still a couple years away. In the meantime, research continues as to how to best incorporate various features for each & every user, a "build-a-pancreas" as you were.( not everyone needs,or wants,the same features)

And so, this led to an hour long discussion (via phone) as to what features would be most important to me. It was not the standard "I need the darn thing to shut off at 80 mg/dl so that it doesn't OD & kill me" type of conversation( because,not everyone needs that) it was more of the nitty-gritty,get your hands dirty kind.

Because an artificial pancreas is to be MORE then a glorified CGM.(& mine,is not too glorious at the moment) So you need to know if you're high or low...a CGM will alarm,& tell you that. The real issue here is the accuracy of said CGM & you can't really trust your life to it, it's lagging behind actual blood glucose by 15-20 minutes. Blood
Glucose calibration is still necessary, as are "safety parameters".(below or above certain bgs,an alarm would sound) That would be largely user defined...hence the need for initial data collection before setting those parameters. Still, I would really like for it to do SOMETHING automatically(initially), for I'm doing everything anyway & it couldn't be any more disastrous then what I've got now. (right now,even an integrated pump-CGM would make me deliriously happy) The action of the fastest acting insulin is still not fast enough to prevent a postmeal spike.(outside controls & ability to override system is a must) Technology is just not to the "slap it on and forget about it" stage...it's a work in progress.

All I ask,is for you to give it a chance.There is so much potential in it,& it blows the socks off what we have now. The moments that I didn't have to worry about my blood sugar are the moments I will treasure forever.( I,and everyone else would like more of those moments)


Cordially,


Heidi

(type 1 for 12 years and counting)


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Middle of the Food Chain

In the past few days,I've discovered that my aspiring goals lie more towards the middle of the hospital food chain, and less towards the end. I've never doubted that nurses were key to a patient's survival(and wellbeing),but the fact that there is oftentimes a whole host of folks below(and taking orders) from the nurse is well,quite scary. Of course,ultimately the orders are supposed to originate from the doc...but they might see a patient for 10-15 minutes a day (kind of like upper management in a company I used to work for...docs live up in their ivory towers & it's the nurses (aka floor managers)who really get involved in the nitty gritty EVERYTHING of patient care.(nurses really are expected to know a ton of stuff even if most of them know nothing about diabetes.Really,it's mostly not their fault,but it will always bug me that it will always be seen as a "you-deserve-what-you-practice" disease.(among many seasoned RN's) Seriously, what happened to compassion?but that is my unique soapbox,as someone living with the disease. I think at some point I am in for an attitude adjustment...not everyone gives a flying flip about diabetes management & I do not get to play doctor.Or criticize the doctor.(not as a student,at least)(velcro mouth shut) My role is that of a sponge,listen,learn,(wipe up human secretions)& apply under careful supervision.


Students are towards the bottom. (not important to much of anything,& more of a liability then anything else.Unless you're a student MD, then you're probably slightly higher in the hierarchy. And while each and every job in patient care is important,the ratio of patient gratitude/etc.gets exponentially smaller the farther down the food chain you go...not many people thank the janitor.(they should, but don't) There are many other positions in this food chain(therapists, etc.) which I have no idea where they fit in..but this is just my initial impressions. (as a
student)

First Day: Spring '11

I am ready. Books are bought,tuition/etc.accounted for,& accessories/iPad apps installed/purchased,in preparation for the big day.(also,glucose keyring installed on backpack,for the inevitable blood sugar drop in the middle of clinicals) The question is,will the weather cooperate(100% chance of 3-5 inches tomorrow...which probably means they will postpone it till Wed.?)That bums me out(6 months from now I will likely wonder how on earth I could be so enthusiastic about such a hardcore program...but for now, I'm that enthusiastic little kid on Christmas morning.)

I can't wait.


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One Wish

Close your eyes. Count to three. Spin around,& repeat after me...
There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like-

Oops,wrong wish. I'm talking about wishes of the earth-shattering variety. Anything at all.(of the non-supernatural variety) Go.

Got it? (no wishing for 7 more wishes)

Ok,if you wished for a cure for diabetes...well, so did I. That's a pretty popular wish these days.

Now wish for something else. A million dollars,a hot new sports car,anything.

Know what I want? I want a personal meter that reads my magnesium level,that doesn't require a trip to the lab & vial of blood, & another week for the doc to get back to you to get. It's gotta be possible. I mean, if you'd asked a diabetes specialist back in 1968 whether PWD (in the future)would have at-home blood sugar monitoring devices he'd likely have shook his head & wonder what you were under the influence of. But the market (for such devices) just exploded,there was such a need for them that of course it was going to become a reality.

There is not overwhelming need for a "magnesium" meter. Although, if other things(CBC,etc.) could be analyzed simultaneously there might be a demand for it. I'm not a Chemist,engineer,or mathematician so all I can do is dream...but it sure would put the management of my problem more "in my control" & personally,I think docs would be all for that.It's not as complex and difficult to manage as D is(numbers don't do much changing) but what I've got to work with now is compatible to the Dark Ages of D-Care. It's based entirely off how you feel,with the once-in-awhile blood test. I don't feel confident about what I'm doing either...it's hit or miss. Fortuently,the margin of error for missing is quite generous (you don't get into trouble much) but if I could know, & test,& take matters into my own hands(up the dose) that would just be the most awesome thing. My levels would be in-range,& I could treat the slight lows more aggressively.

I could be waiting on that wish awhile...but a girl can dream. Maybe one day something like that will be developed.

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Ringing Out The Old Year

I don't know about you, but any recent luck o'the averages I may have had has been irrevocably ruined from the Christmas holidays.

Ok I tried to be a good D...truly I did. But the goodies called my name,(over and over) the set changes became fewer,the Dexcom crapped completely out,(of warranty,too) & I just stopped caring what I was,I just wanted to have fun for once.(without inconveniencing anyone with a low). Throw in some hormones and you have the next episode of "Blood Sugars Gone Wild."
All of which equals an average bg in the mid -to-upper 200's.

Yep-not good on the a1c, & unfortuently,the holidays have not yet ended..there's still my side of the family.( New Years Day). I need to get back to regular life, routine really helps.(that and knowing the carb count!) Fortuently,my next a1c isn't till April so there's lots of time to undo that damage. I sure don't want an a1c in the 9's.(after making significant progress on that front)

I'm also starting on a low dose of Levothyroxine (25 mcg) to improve my TSH. My Endo was not wild about the idea,but she agreed to start it.My thyroid antibodies have gone up,my TSH is in the middle of the spectrum(still normal,but not "good") Hence the minuscule dose of (Synthroid). I need my thyroid at optimal levels. It was hard to get my Endo on board with it,she muttered uncomplimentary things under her breath(as to the overkill tactics of certain other specialties) but did agree to start it. It's not going to make me hyperthyroid, it can only help.

Have a Happy & safe New Year,all!

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Elevator Shift

(this is a story of an elevator encounter of the life-altering kind)

It was his eyes that told the story. They were the sort of eyes that you could go swimming around in,lose yourself in the passage of time...and wake up to find that 20 years had gone by,unbeknownst to all involved. There was a lifetime in those eyes.(magnetizing)

It was the summer of 2003,& I (was very single & uninvolved,ok folks?) had gotten on the hospital elevator,punched my floor number,& was set to tune out the various individuals on board..for I could think of nothing else beyond my impending "Diabetes & Driving" impatient study.(involving a simulated driving game & "controlled" hypoglycemia,I would murder virtual cows right & left.)

"Are you going to the hole?"

I semi-turned, & looked at the person who had asked the question. "The Hole?"

"Yeah-admission?You look like you are." He coughed,& the spasms wracked his thin frame. It had the sounds of cystic fibrosis,of chronic disease,of a life spent in places like this against one's desire & will.

"Ah,yes,the hole. I am indeed."
(I wasn't quite sure I wanted to spill out my medical history in the very public elevator to a guy I didn't know) And did I really have "the look?" I thought PWD were not supposed to look sick. Not like I had any wires or tubes coming from random orifices on my body.(yet)

"Take my advice...don't let the residents near you,they're real bloodsuckers & can't hit a vein to save their lives."

(this advice did not seem to phase the several white coats on board,although,I laughed. Loudly.)

"Duly noted". I was looking in the eyes,& feeling sorry for the suckyness of the situation for people with such chronic diseases & lucky just to have diabetes. We were the same ages...& yet I would likely live 40 years beyond what he would. I didn't know the half of the depths of the disease & dying process. And yet,he was living with his disease in the same way millions must...most of the time,it felt like I was ignoring mine.

The elevator clanged,6th floor.

"Take care." (I felt I needed to say something) "Hope you get out of here soon."

"Yeah,same to you. Stay cool."
IV pole in hand,he took off towards the nursing station on the heart/lung floor. And I continued onto the 8th floor,where the diabetes study awaited.(it was the most grueling,most demanding study that I have ever done,& 48 hours into it my electrolytes would drop(caused by the blood-letting & insulin clamps)resulting in them dropping me from the study early. I had no complaints to that,since they were still giving me full compensation & I just wanted to go home & die quietly,it was the first time my (as yet undisclosed) Bartters Syndrome would cause a problem & it would take months of unsuccessful dosing before I would see a nephrologist,& be diagnosed. At that moment,however,6 additional hours into IV's I just wanted the Endo to let me go home.I hoped I would be ok,and I no longer felt like I was having a heart attack right there,& although still very shaky I could walk out to my car & drive so she let me go.I went home & crashed for the rest of the weekend.)

I couldn't shake the sense that not only old people die in hospitals...22 year olds did too. All. the. time. And yet,they were one heck of well-adjusted individuals...they lived their lives knowing that day was sooner,rather then later. I think most PWD think "it will never happen to me" whereas most other chronic diseases know it will happen to them.(I'm not saying diabetes is a cakewalk but compared to CF it is)

That day,I got another perspective on life with a chronic disease.(& another idea of what I wanted to do with my life,should I ever become an RN(research,peds,or a CF nurse coordinator) This day, I still want to do something along those lines...& next semester, I shall be joining those nursing student ranks.(at last) The world needs more then a few good nurses.I know what being a patient is like...& that will make me a better nurse.


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The Top Seven Holiday Gifts(for the PWD)

#1 For the Dexcom(er) (or Navigator user) in your life... I recommend one of these. You can get small camera & phone cases at any office supply store.(such as Office Depot,Staples) And I've found it to be much more useful then that generic "skin" they provide.(for the Dexcom) Yes,the skins look snazzy,but that feature really doesn't help me locate the Dex any quicker from the depths of my handbag...nor does it have a clip on the back.This does,and it's solid-does not get knocked off five seconds later.And I can find,& unzip it quickly,because it has a unique shape compared to the hundreds of other things that reside in said handbag.



#2 Music Player Cases

(looks like small backpacks)




I'm a fan of jazzed up meter cases...& these are perfect for the job,holding the meter,strips,backup vial,infusion set,syringe,roll of glucose tabs,& the Multiclix lancing device.(IMO,the greatest lancer ever,& no,I'm not being paid by Roche to say so,I am way too uncool for the likes of Roche. The Multiclix is just awesome...& better then the Delica,IMO.
These cases have several zippable compartments & a belt loop and are really quite the on-the-go accessory of the year.And I'm sure they exist in solid colors..for the male PWD in your life.

#3



I found this ornament at CVS..& it immeadietly found a warm fuzzy spot in my heart.(& a place on our tree) Love,love,LOVE anything diet coke themed.

#4


Cup-Cake-y lip gloss. (I prefer the CVS, or Bath and Body Works brands) So very yummy,and completely free (of the need for insulin). Of course, this often has the side effect of making one hungry for REAL cupcakes (and a trip to a real,live,cupcake establishment. More on that in a future post.) A gift card to a cupcake place is also an entirely appropriate present. (if the individual can cover such dietary excursions with insulin...I realize that not everyone who reads this is a type 1/family member of a type 1.Moderation is a must, for anyone.)

#5 If it's jewelry you're looking for,the JDRF and ADA have several new unique choices.(ideas gotten courtesy of Diabetes Living magazine)

- "Katie's Cure" (designed by a 12 year old with type 1)(Proceeds to benifit individuals living with type 2 diabetes,but that's completely beside the point) It's a very pretty design.

- JDRF charm bracelet. It would be cool if you could have the date of dx engraved on this(for $50,that should REALLY be an option)& I'm not sure I'd ever buy this,unless I had more money then I know what to do with..but I like the design.

- Diabetes Awareness bracelet. Hand engraved, in your choice of multiple diabetes sayings.($75)

- If you're looking for something much, much cheaper(and who isn't, these days) head over to the DRI & snag yourself an "I'm Tired of Diabetes" bracelet. It's made of recycled tires(environmentally friendly!) and the cost ($14.50 won't bust the bank.

-Finally, you can get an official Bret Michaels "Live to Rock, Rock to Live!" bandanna or an ID (I decide) tag from the American Diabetes Association.

#6
The Stupid Sock Creature. (now if they would only make the Stupid Hand Creature,they'd be all set) Good for a few laughs(and endless hours of preschooler amusement)

#7 And lastly, you can get a free Bayer Contour USB meter (along with 25 strips) at Walgreens. (until 01/01/2011) Go here, print out a coupon (for $20 off) and they'll adjust it down for you (it's on sale for 9.99). Or, you can find $10 off coupons for both the USB and the Bayer Didget in their pharmacy diabetes magazines.This is not just another "free" meter offer..this is a snazzy meter( with strips), which makes it a pretty generous deal, IMO.

Twelve Years

Dear Diabetes,

Tomorrow marks 12 happy years of being joined at the hip.And like every morning since then, I've woken up,checked my blood sugar,& taken insulin. Some things blur with the passage of time.I don't remember what an 1100 blood sugar feels like but if I see or smell a Kendall brand alcohol swab my mind takes me back to that moment in a flash. No other brand but Kendall does that.It was a night of strange smells,sights,& sounds...which may well be imprinted permanently in my memory.


Like I do every year, I'm celebrating our Anniversary with great fan-fare. (I hope you don't mind if I bring along my husband) Dinner, and a movie (Voyage of the Dawn Treader)sounds like the perfect way to end the day. One thing about our D-Date,it seems to be a popular day for new movies to come out.

You and I have worked our butts off this year,& have gone from a number that was so bad I couldn't even blog about it to a most-recent 7.1.While that isn't under 7.0,it's a .8 improvement over the last time & was met by enthusiasm from our Endo & deemed acceptable enough for plans involving future offspring on this Earth.(we will keep working on said a1c,obviously) I really wish my a1c had dropped more,but it is what it is.Further testing revealed several whacked out hormones (trouble with the thyroid,yet again) & the jury's not out yet on whether I'll have to start Synthroid/ other drug.As anyone's with D who has gone this route knows, it's not just the simple matter of getting your a1c in line. But with an endocrinologist & a maternal-fetal medicine specialist working on it, I'm sure they'll get those hormones precisely where they should be.(unlike blood sugars..those levels are easier to get into line) There is much to say on this topic,but the relief of not having one's Endo stare in horror at one for even considering the thought is the victory of the moment. I have faith that it can happen.

Bring on 2011!!




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December De jour

It's that time of year again...the snow lies thick on the ground(or soon will,if it's anything like last winter), it's bitterly cold and nasty and doesn't lend well to functional toes,fingers, or glucometers. Starbucks & Swiss Miss are absolute must-have's.(yes,I drink Diet Coke year-round but in winter I need something to warm me up) And it seems that life gets even busier, as the "flurries" of day-to-day tasks cascades into a blizzard.(Look for me sometime in January,as I don't expect to be doing much blogging)

On the agenda this month:

*Aforementioned school paperwork, most of which is financial-aid/scholarship oriented. Also a CPR recertification course and yet another physical exam(does the one I JUST had in October (for my surgery) count? Of course not) which shall involve booster shots and blood titers(for every known communicable disease out there). Medical school can't involve any less paperwork.

*Changing health insurance plans.(this being that magical time of the year known as "Open Season," which, for my non-US readers is when one can switch(or get) health insurances without fault for pre-existing conditions.For an individual with a chronic disease,this is one of the few opportunities to get instant coverage. ) My husband leaves this to me, as he rarely gets sick,takes no meds,and has never had a cavity in his life.(in other words, the opposite of me) Our current plan has hit rock bottom-everything costs a ton, & injectables go completely off the formulary beginning next year. Although this is to be expected with all the recent insurance company/Obaminination changes,our particular plan has essentially doubled EVERYTHING-monster deductibles,no diabetes education coverage,etc. and the time has come to jump ship.(before we sink) I'm grateful for the choice of several options,but it will be a monumental choice as I consider what parts are vitally important to me & which parts are less so.

NEED:

- diabetes supply coverage (for pump supplies,insulin,strips, and CGM) via mail order with acceptable copays.
- NO cap on the number of test strips.
- catestrophic coverage cap
-low pharmacy rx copay
-outpatient infusion services covered (this is a biggie,because if I need more magnesium infusions it is very expensive & not otherwise affordable)
-coverage of injectables (such as Symlin)
-good dental plan
-free Diabetes Education Visits
-complete lab & tests coverage

I'm very much looking at this from the diabetes point of view..I want the freedom to see my own endo and follow my own diabetes plan. Access to an educator is a must on my list,(and one that current insurance decided to stop covering completely) since few endo's have the time to work with you on the nitty-gritty, day to day stuff. I guess after all these years I should know how to get myself out of the holes I dig,but they have perspectives that I often times, don't. I live it..the questions and problems never go away,& have numbed my brain so that if the answer were right in front of me, I wouldn't be able to see it. I need the fresh perspective.
I've heard only horror stories about HMO's,and I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to go that route. Freedom in physician choosing is very important to me, and I'd rather concede on a less important point(like the amount of the copay). You have to choose the plan that makes the most sense financially. Life is about more then diabetes..surgeries,tests,random stuff comes up and those possibilities must be considered as well. Decisions, decisions.(and I can't make this one lightly)

* Getting every last RX filled before the deductable/max reset to $0 and everything costs an arm and a leg again in the New Year. (to be done, prior to switching insurances, obviously) We don't have an FSA(flexible spending) account...that's probably something I should seriously consider. Could really save money there.

*Regular Christmas-y stuff..presents to buy, foods to cook,etc. and a week long stint on the Left Coast(come December 22) to survive. I cannot say I'm looking forward to the body scanner/patdown choice.(at the airports)

*Endo appt., continued hand therapy. Things are much improved on the arm front, there's now only a small localized patch of elbow numbness,a slightly weak pinky,and pain only if I lift something heavy. The scar is even starting to fade.

So that's what on the agenda, this won't be my last post of the year,but I won't be doing very many of them. Stay warm and safe, everyone.

The Envelope

I got an envelope the other day. It was gorgeously thick & screamed out "Non-Rejection" without me having to open it. But open it I did,with my heart hammering away in my ears & my stomach doing flip-flops in my esophageal tube.

Guess what. I am not "rejected" but I am also not accepted, I'm in that fuzzy grey area known as the WAIT LIST.

So I had to go to Orientation, a 3.5 hour affair which was great for everyone who made it into the Spring 2011 RN program but most disagreeable for the rest of us.You sit there,pretending you belong,but you aren't really "in." You're a wannabe who is hoping someone drops,but you still have to fill out the forms,get the all-inclusive Cootie Report filled out,CPR, and have your financial aid,etc ready to go at the drop of a hat for if someone does drop out & you could get in.

Maybe I'm at the bottom of the "wait list" & maybe I won't get in at all. I hate this not knowing.(it goes purely off GPA) It's the 5th layer of Dante's Inferno,doing all the work & still not getting in & more & more I wish they'd have just rejected me outright.People have till Jan.18 to drop the course...that's a long time to be without an answer.(Everyone who is on the list knows exactly what to plan for) I'm in a state of educational limbo(knowing that I qualify but should I just reapply? or just scrap the whole nursing idea entirely) & it's just really hard & depressing right now.

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