Monday, May 13, 2013
To Endo, With Love
Often our health care team only sees us for about 15 minutes several times a year, and they might not have a sense of what our lives are really like. Today, let’s pretend our medical team is reading our blogs. What do you wish they could see about your and/or your loved one's daily life with diabetes? On the other hand, what do you hope they don't see? (Thanks to Melissa Lee of Sweetly Voiced for this topic suggestion.)
I wish you'd say "Good Job." I know my a1c isn't 5.9 (nor will it ever be) and I'm not a lean, mean, marathon-running machine, (I wish that I were) but I get up every morning and try to do my best with this diabetes crap. It isn't always easy, its rarely easy. I wish you knew how encouraging it would be to hear those words coming from your mouth. That hasn't happened yet, not when I delivered a beautiful healthy baby boy,(a "Congrats!" but no "Great job, he's perfect!") and certainly not when I got the best a1c of my entire diabetes existence and you told me I was a bad mother & harming my baby with that a1c and I went home and cried for two solid hours until the DOC pulled me out of the depths of my 7 month pregnant depression. Everyone has bad days, and I've forgiven you for those words. (I cannot, however, forget them. They are seared onto my soul for eternity.) I used to fantasize about getting that under 7 a1c and getting to hear those words from a health care provider, but now I have come to realize that its probably not that big a deal to you and won't ever come to pass. I know I will feel good about any and all a1cs around that number, but it would be nice to feel that my health care provider could also be my cheerleader. I still respect you and your solid clinical skills, I get great care from your office and you (with the exception of pregnancy) don't hound me about my blood sugars. Thank you for that.
But mostly, I just wish you'd acknowledge the effort that I put into this..you have no idea just how uplifted and amazing that would make me feel. Diabetes is a life long journey, and "thus shines a good deed in a weary world." You've got the power to make this journey a little less burdensome.