Thursday, August 11, 2011

Profiles (Week 17)

(warning...belly shot below. Consider yourself forewarned!)

Here,you can see my abdomen at 17 weeks,& yes,this is pretty much what it looked like 17 weeks ago.(mostly just blubber) It's hard to believe that I've packed on a good 11 lbs. (where on earth is it?oh,that's right,it shrinks other vital things in the lower abdomen to the size of a pea) I haven't been overweight in quite a while,but wow that 2nd trimester came in with a roar.(and the lbs as well,the scale is starting to groan everytime I step on it) It's a bizarre feeling,having your stomach measured with a tape measure.(as well)He/She
is already producing insulin from it's tiny itsy bitsy little pancreas(is it wrong to envy one's kid?because sometimes,I wish it could share,& I know that's bad because genetically I may have passed on my bad luck)& setting about to double in size in the 3 weeks.And speaking of weeks,in just 2 weeks we'll get to find out what it is. In the meantime,there are plenty of things to keep occupied(like school,which begins in less then 2 weeks) Gulp...

It is afternoon on December 31,2011. I am doing a POD change,when said water breaks & my husband immeadietly rushes me to the hospital,ahead of the New Year's Eve revelry.After 5 hours of labor,at precisely 10:46 pm,a healthy 7 lb,8 oz baby is born (with no complications)

And that's what will probably not happen (although as long as it's healthy,I don't care what they do to me)

I don't like hospitals. I don't like the way they smell,feel,or degrade a person of the basic rights of human dignity. Unless you're the one in the white coat, you'd really like to be anywhere else on the planet. But when it's your job to care for sick people,well, it's not that bad being in the hospital. Because mentally,you're not don't "have" to be there.You can leave at any time. But a patient can't do that.(unless they want to get sicker/die)

It's something that I have to start thinking about,that yes, I'll be headed back to that place at some point in the next 5 months.And the choices that have to be made...which hospital is it going to be at? There are no shortage of hospitals in this region,and my OBGYN contracts at two of them(the one nearest our house,however,is the one that has diabetes care straight out of 1955). And that's a problem,even if my Endo's office is right down the street.(this hospital doesn't give two beans if your blood sugar is 350,as long as you're still breathing & your pain is well managed) 2008 left a really bad taste in my mouth regarding that hospital.(they pretty much ignored my Endo's orders,because most of the time I was 300's & looped out on painkillers) The other option,is the hospital with all the major equipment to handle anything that might go wrong..NICU,& such. That's definitely the way I'd go if I needed a C-Section,but for now, I have no,no clue which one to pick.I need my diabetes care to be stellar,(more for the effects on the infant,then for me) & I don't know if I'll be in the position to handle that aspect myself. And I sure as heck cannot trust Local Hospital not to kill me(if they'd take over the diabetes care). Personally, I think keeping the pump on is the way to go but things can get pretty dicey afterwards & your insulin needs drop to practically zero while you hypo nonstop & therein lies most of the problem,if you're zoned out on painkillers you aren't going to be able to catch that low & a nurse who checks you 2-4x a day is sure not going to catch it. At the other hospital,they also employ nurses that teach at my college(& the perks of that are many...since you get to know them,when you're a patient you get waited on hand & foot). I kind of also think they might do better with the D-care over there since they are like Baby Hospital Central in the county.(level III NICU) I don't think my Endo has privileges there though,& that is a problem.(I'll need major help in the diabetes dept.) Those are uncharted waters...& I need all the help I can get.

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