Sunday, January 29, 2012

One Wonderful Day:24 Hours on the L&D Ward

(the birth...Part 1. Warning: Extremely Graphic Depictions ahead. You've been forewarned)


It was the night. The night my life would change forever. (I just didn't know it yet) After eating dinner out (Chipotle & Coldstone Creamery were the winning combo) with friends, I went to bed and ignored my shrieking POD all night till it died for realz at 3 AM. (before it died, I bolused for several hours of basal so I wouldn't have to get up and change it out until 6-7 AM)

And then, the nausea began. Couldn't get back to sleep. About an hour and a half later, at 4:30 AM on the dot, my amniotic sac burst (but not like a water balloon...there was plenty more to come) and the floodwaters gushed forth, over bed, down to the carpet, etc. leaving no doubt that that's what THAT was. Urine doesn't come forth in those quantities.

I looked over at my husband. "That was amniotic fluid, I gotta call the OB-GYN!"

Which I did. Shortly thereafter, the contractions began. And by the time we'd loaded up the car and got to the L&D ward (5:55 AM), another gush of amniotic fluid spewed out, soaking me from head to toe (right through any so called "protection") It was hardcore, this stuff. The nurse gave me a gown, cleaned things up, put pads down on a table, and hooked me up to the monitors while waiting on the doctor. Meanwhile, amniotic fluid just kept gushing a mile a minute. Very tired looking OB-GYN came in, checked, and said I was 4 CM dilated.

"You are in labor." (no kidding?)

Contractions, regular contractions, sped by on the monitor. And not that I ever doubted it (amniotic fluid gushing forth is a pretty good sign) but it was now official, coming from the mouth of the MD. Progressed 2 CM in 2 days.(after staying at 2 cm for about 1.5 weeks)

"Would you like to take a shower?"

I tried, and the nurse tried to help, but the nausea & the fact that I just about broke my kneck slipping on on the water made it a really, really bad idea. In the meantime, two nurses changed the table again and commented on how much fluid I had in me. (great news, it will just keep gushing out of you till the very end) Weight loss from that had to be a good 5 lbs. It just boggled the mind,over the course of seven hours I'd soak the bed 6 times. (setting some sort of record, I'm sure) By 12, I'd been in a L&D room for a few hours, they'd started an insulin/dextrose/saline/penicillin/and pitocin drips, and contractions were getting extremily painful.



(the ever-so-lovely IV cocktail. Regular Insulin, Dextrose, pitocin, and penicillin. Why on earth they needed to have both dextrose and insulin running simultaniously is beyond me, they tripled my basal rate to 3 units an hour because they were also giving about 15 grams of glucose per hour. But it worked out pretty well.)


L&D nurse #1 turned out to be an OB instructor at my college (I've had her for one lecture). So that was pretty interesting, it's a small world. She monitored me for awhile, checking my bg every couple of hours & admininistering several injections of Apidra (via pen) when my bg was 150-170.) going off a sliding scale. Made me nervous as all get out trusting said "sliding scale" but I didn't have much basal on board at the time, so it worked out ok. She also put in the catheter (I was the guinea pig, it was a new type) and said it was a shame I couldn't see how it was done. I dryly agreed "Yeah, really". That was a new experience, because in lab it looked extremily painful, but I was so numb from the epidural that it didn't feel like anything. The anesthesiologist put the epidural in about 1 pm (by 12:15, I was begging for one), and oh sweet relief, just like that the pain was 100% gone. I'm really not sure how people ever go through labor without one. (I became an instant fan of the epidural) My new OB waddled in, (a good 36.5 weeks along herself) and proclaimed me 5 cm dilated. Increased the pit drip.

That afternoon was spent watching John Wayne reruns & waiting for something to happen..and being extremily grateful that I'd eaten so well the night before. Because the next time I'd get real food would be awhile I was confined to bed, so basically I couldn't go anywhere. Ate sugar-free popsickles, jello, and imbibed on ice water & had my blood sugar checked every couple of hours. At 7 pm, I got a new nurse...who surprise, had TYPE 1 DIABETES as well. On a pump, to boot. When she said that, I knew it was going to be a good "rest of labor" experience, she was going to take my diabetes seriously. By 7:30 the contractions were heating up again and I was 8 cm dilated and extremily uncomfortable, yet again. Anesthesiologist came by and gave me another epidural dose and rigged up a pump for me to press, if I felt like I needed more. Which I partook of,quite frequently. Several hours passed,my fabulous Nurse with Diabetes checking my blood sugar (with my lancing device-NOT the hospital one) every hour & tweaking the IV basal and the dextrose flow rate & that annoying blood pressure monitor going off every half hour. By 11:55, my OB was back in (checked, 9 cm dilated, 100% effaced) so she proclaimed,"Let the pushing begin!" So her, NWD, and my husband all hung out in the hospital room (off and on, the OB did have to go off to check on someone else) for the next 2 hours while I huffed, and puffed, and blew the house down. On every single contraction, which came approximently every 1.5 minutes. The thing about pushing, they actually made me lift my legs and put my hands behind the knees and THAT was just as difficult as the actual pushing part (you try doing that when you've had an epidural and your legs are dead the world). There was lots of encouragement "You're doing great! Keep going." but it really didn't feel like I was making any sort of progress, which was confirmed at 2:30 AM. Still only 9 cm dilated. Maxed out on the safe level of pitocin. OB said she suspected the birth canal was too narrow and although I could try pushing for the next hour, if that didn't work I'd need a C-Section. (because my water had broken,there was a 24 hour time limit on delivery) I opted for the C-Section, because I knew that she was right.(and I wasn't going to do another hour of unsuccessful pushing) And then I had my breakdown (being told you have to have a C-Section when you're horrendously sleep deprived & have been in labor for 23 hours is just not fun),a major, major breakdown which the nurse/OB sympathetically dealt with & reassured me that the odds were very low that I'd have an embolism & stroke out on the OR table(etc.) Fear gave way to the pain taking over again & I seriously wished myself dead as the contractions just kept coming a mile a minute. Was prepped for surgery & I just kind of curled into a ball & wished it all over. Was still pretty mad that I had to have a C-Section, so close to the end.

Was wheeled into the OR,rolled over onto the operating table,sat up as the anesthesiologist delivered another epidural dose,& laid back down. The cheerful chatter of the OR staff served as a momentary distraction before the fun began.

"It's a beautiful day for a birthday, it's Elvis Presley's birthday!" (also Steven Hawking's, FTR)

"Really, that's pretty cool!"

"What was her blood sugar?"

"96." (had been between 70-110 for the past 16 hours)

A horizontal slice, and then...

Many hands, twisting my innards like they were playdoh, had me crying out in agony. Lucky for them, my hands and arms were restrained at my sides, because I absolutely would have gone ferral and attempted to rip somebody's head off. I was out of my brain in agony. (they say a C-Section isn't supposed to be painful, & it just feels like "pressure"...well, they are wrong. It was extremely painful,and they can't give you any real pain meds because it will affect the baby's breathing) Anesthesiologist asked if I'd like a general anesthesia but I said no, I didn't want to be all drugged up when the baby was finally born.

An eternity later...I heard him cry.

And then, I cried.

"He's beautiful!"

(which I figured I'd cry, but this was more of the sense of "I cannot believe I actually birthed a live human being" more then anything else)

Little J.B. made his appearence at 3:33 AM on that Sunday morning.(Jan. 8,2012) weighing 7 lb, 3 oz. and 19.75 inches long. They whisked him off, did Apgars, dried/suctioned/whatever, did a blood sugar (50-normal for a newborn) and stuck him over the blue curtain for our viewing pleasure. And then, I cried again (first thought: I hope they can clean him up some more, he looks sort of greyish-blue) and the anesthesiologist whispered sweet words in my ear("I'm going to give you a stronger pain med, now that he's out"). Which I nodded at, but just the fact that they were stitching me up and not yanking on my uturus anymore had improved the pain considerably. Then, it was off to the Post Anesthesia Care Unit where my awesome nurse with diabetes kept tabs on my blood sugar,bleeding,and everything else. I was thirsty as all get out but they would only let me have ice chips.(which I ate a ton of) They put him on my chest & I bonded with him before we all went off to the 3rd floor Post-Partum Unit and darned if I didn't sob again as NWD gave me a hug and told me he was perfect. (It was one of those nights which will live forever in my memory...the kind where you pour out your gut to a total stranger, but they are not "strangers", they are like the twin you never had) I could not have had better care. And I knew that I'd picked the right hospital,THE ONLY HOSPITAL WHERE I COULD HAVE POSSIBLY HAD SUCH AN EXPERIENCE. (sure as certain wouldn't have gone so well at the other hospital) I was at peace.



And that was the first 24 (plus 2 hours)... at time where I was at peace with myself, my child, and the Universe. It was enough, for then. (the next few days would be an 180 degree shift from that)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Mommyhood: One Week Later




I love you, Little Guy!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Ice & Chocolate: The Final Week

Yep, I know I've said this before...but it is getting closer to the delivery.

I am 38 weeks, & the induction is scheduled for Wed, Jan.11. I have been convinced that labor is immenant for weeks now.(just don't listen to me, because I don't know what I'm talking about)

News Flash: Contractions are not labor. Painful contractions, are not labor. 2 cm dilated & 50% effacement is not labor. Real labor has you on the floor, writhing in pain. We were told thus, on Monday evening.(dry run to the hospital,as it were) Of course,baby chilled down & only popped a couple contractions the instant I was hooked up to a monitor.(& were duly
sent home) I had regular,painful contractions for two hours prior to that & it wasn't anywhere close to being "real labor." Really confusing,if you ask me.

So,given that there are 6 days(or less) till they do an induction,it is kind of weird to have an actual date. Carved in stone. People with diabetes frequently go into preterm labor & I still can't wrap my head around the fact that here it is,38 weeks later & no pre-eclampsia,baby is normal size, etc. I've still got too much amniotic fluid on board but that hasn't made me go into preterm labor. I'm really ok with going into labor at any point now,but the only thing that seems to be happening is more frequent contractions. No progress on the dilation front. I've heard that you shouldn't have your water broken until you're 5-6 cm dilated because once the water breaks, the clock starts ticking & they'll want to drag you into the OR for a C-Section should you not progress fast enough. As I'd like to avoid that, I'm taking that advice. But I don't harbor any notions that I won't have to have one...& I'm ok with that. No one is guaranteed a complication-free birth. (I trust the guys/gals with the medical degrees)

Current Cravings: Ice, Chocolate,& Diet Minute Maid. (lemonade) It's kind of a weird late-pregnancy thing, I didn't crave these way back in the 2nd Trimester! I've had lots of opportunity to stuff my face with chocolate, at 37 weeks my insulin requirements took a sudden dip and it's still like that-lots of hypos. Just about the time that I finally get it right, I'll probably go into labor & really have a nosedive. It's common for that to happen,as progesterone production slacks off but it's somewhat disconcerting until they reassure you that it's normal. As with everything else D-related,it doesn't happen to everyone.

I am so,so,so,so ready. (over-ready!)

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

2011: A Year, Reviewed

It was a year in which I:

Started Nursing School

Found out I was pregnant

Rafted the mighty Colorado River

Met (& remet) old & new friends at the Friends For Life Conference in Florida

Turned 30

Went to 10 billion doctor appointments

Cried for hours over a 6.5 a1c (my best ever,& the best of the pregnancy!)

Saw my diabetes turn 13...

Dropped out of nursing school,to dream another day

Gained 40 lbs (New Years Resolution=you kind of know what!)

Gained a greater sympathy for disabled/handicapped people's challenges because when you can't do hardly anything for yourself,life is pretty difficult. And I'm one of those people who'd rather fall down trying,then ask for help.

Went to a diabetes meetup (SimonPalooza) in NYC...& felt massively better about my sorry DLife (& everything else,in general). It was refreshing.(& seeing my first Broadway Show was pretty cool too!thanks to Cara R.!)

Here's to 2012,& baby coming SOON.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: The 259th Day


--------
Yesterday morning, as I rolled out of bed, I was positive that this was the day. I don't think you really want to know precisely why I was so positive (let's just say that it had to do with gross body substances) & that, combined with rocking cramps, had me convinced that this, was it.

Well, it didn't quite work out that way. Husband took me to the OB-GYN (a normal appointment, all ready scheduled) and I'm not in labor...not yet. I am 2 cm dilated (seems to be progressing at the rate of 1 cm/week) but unless 6 cups of amniotic fluid exit the building, I'm not really "in labor". I am also GBS (group B streptococcal?) positive, so labor will involve antibiotics in my IV. And also, the hospital doesn't allow you to wear your own insulin pump, something that doesn't make me too happy because I've been planning on this for months (barring any emergencies). OB-GYN assured me that they have a team of internal medicine guys to "get my diabetes back on track with pump adjustments" after delivery. (yeah, right. NO offense, but my diabetes is never "on track") And then...the issue about blood sugars during actual delivery. He said they like to run them on the high side. (and by that, I'm guessing 100-120,which is kind of laughable to think about those numbers being on the high side! And that's perfectly alright, if that works out to be the case but I'm envisioning having to get ALOT of IV dextrose if they're the ones who actually run the D-show) My Endo doesn't have privileges there, so she doesn't have any say in the matter. I'm not sure that I can refuse to go off my pump (and not be admitted there), I've never been refused the use of my pump for an extended period of time.

And then, it was off to the NST/biophysical profile which went pretty routinely. I never pass the NST, but the biophysical profile always comes out ok. (8/10 is normal) Perinatologist doctor wanted to know what OB/GYN doctor had planned (in terms of delivery)...its kind of like the two offices never communicate. (the answer is:vaginal delivery, unless it hasn't happened by the 39th week, and then they will schedule an induction) I have to get a magnesium infusion (via IV) this week, to prepare for delivery & in the hospital, they'll be checking my electrolytes daily (and the babies electrolytes at birth, to screen for any problems). He also updated all the names/numbers of my Endo,the OBGYN group, the pediatrician that we chose, and my Nephrologist into the hospital computer system in preparation for that day.(suite at the hospital=booked,patient with zillion medical issues coming through)
The antibiotics will fortunately be penicillin (I'm allergic to doxycycline). I don't really know I'm really going to know if I'm in labor if the amniotic sac doesn't burst, because I have contractions (both painful, and not) already,but I'm guessing that if dilation continues at this rate at some point it will switch from "latent"(0-3 cm) to "active"(4+ cm)and things will steamroll from there. I've survived Christmas, so now I'm hoping I have a New Year's baby (you get a ton of free stuff if you've the first baby on Jan.1) & the baby is mature enough, so if he wishes to make his appearance on that date, I'm more then agreeable to that.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Matching





- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, December 18, 2011

The Last Week


Nope, it's likely not the "last week of pregnancy..." but, with any luck, my insulin requirements have hit their plateau and that makes me VERY HAPPY. Early next week, it will be considered a "full term" pregnancy...and that makes me happy as well. (in the words of the OB -GYN, the goal is 37 weeks, but if things can go 1-2 weeks longer that is "bonus time")

On schedule for the this week: Weekly appts. with the OBGYN, to start checking for dilation/effacement. And the Group B Strep swab, to determine if antibiotics will be needed during delivery. As well as the (2) mandatory NonStress tests, a final appointment with my Endo (I can't say things are really that great between us, but now is not the time to be looking for a new Endo. I need to iron out a final plan for my bgs/insulin/etc. for birth,and afterwords) It's not the hospital where she has privilages (and realistically, how much time am I going to have to do diabetes overhaul), so I think I really need to have this stuff figured out now. I do agree that my blood sugars should be under 120 the entire time (to minimize the chances of hypoglycemia for the baby) but never having been through this before, will they let me suck on hard candies(or ice) if I'm running low/in the throngs of nausea? I think this hospital prefers you to be on an insulin drip, which I'd prefer NOT to be, unless I need a C-Section. (if I can handle things myself, I'm going to) Basically, I need a natural delivery plan, a C-Section Delivery Plan, and a Post-Baby Delivery plan for my diabetes. We also have to tour the actual hospital ward....I have no idea where it is. (I didn't do my student rotation there) And then I think, I will feel "ready." (the car seat has been installed and all systems are GO) As to when it will actually happen, no one knows (but I rather hope it is prior to 2012) Lightening (whereby the baby drops into the pelvis) hasn't occurred, so my lungs are compressed to the size of golfballs (walking up a flight of stairs, or walking 10 feet both leave me winded). On the positive side, my back does not hurt as much as it did a few weeks ago...but I am grateful that diabetes is going to get me out of having to wait it out an extra 2-3 weeks (should labor not occur). At the most, it will be three more weeks. (and I'm having contractions on my NonStress tests, I don't think it will be that long)

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The WEGO Health Awards: 2011

And while I'm at it (posting, that is) I'd like to thank the kind soul who nominated me for the WEGO HEALTH ACTIVIST (2011) AWARDS...(Best Kept Secret!) You were/are very sweet, and I appreciate the kind words. (I appreciate ALL my readers,all 5 of you!) So I payed it forward, and nominated another health blogger that I enjoy reading...I encourage you to do the same. (you'll probably make their day,even if you/they don't really win anything from this promo)

YOU GUYS ROCK. (DON'T EVER FORGET THAT)

The Week Before Christmas

Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the state
There were babes being born (both early, and late).

And I had just rolled, on my side, for a snooze
When my nose was soon greeted, by the strong smell of booze

For Santa was here, and cocoa n’ eggnog
Was not his forte’…from the strong whiff of grog.

I groaned, and I waddled, to the window, real slow
I guessed that I couldn’t avoid seeing this show.

And there, was St. Nick, all rosy with glee
He slurped, and he burped, and looked straight at me.

“Hey honey, I’ve brought you a bouncing bundle o’ joy
Today is the day for your baby boy!”

The contractions were strong, & it made me afraid
That this day in the books, a birth would be made.

“All I want for Christmas is just 14 (+) more days
I must decline, and request, that you put in a raise.”

Old Santa was miffed, as he’d wasted his time
On a house in the boonies, on the public dime

He sighed, and he climbed back into his old sleigh
His agenda had most clearly been upset that day

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out at quite the rate
“Next time, I’ll make sure, to double-check the date!”

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Diabetes: The Thirteenth Year


(Photo: Creative Commons)

Dear Diabetes,
Today, you are a teenager. It seems as though a million years have passed...or at least a generation. (that five year old girl on the other side of your hospital room is now legally an ADULT. Yikers.) Do you remember that day...the pain, the worry, the fear that would soon cast it's long shadow over "all the days of your life?"

I do. But I also remember a remarkable CDE,
who,on that very next day (in fact, some of the first words out of her mouth) told me that I could still have kids. (Was I thinking about having children,heck no,it was about the furthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to live.)

That was then. And this, is now.(I trust I've grown up a bit since then)And in retrospect, I'm glad she said that.(its something every young person needs to hear at diagnosis,& I once talked to someone dx'd in the 1960's who didn't have kids because her doctors forbade it, which is incredibly sad. I think everyone deserves a doctor who will work with them to make their dream happen). It's impossible not to think of the rock n' rolling, hiccupping,rapidly growing life inside of me. I guess I think about babies more then I think about diabetes...which is saying alot.You really do still suck bucketloads, diabetes,and cause more pain then is ever warranted. Seemingly 95% of the other people getting NST's at the perinatologist also have diabetes.(and sugars that warrant "concern". My own sugars in the past week have moved beyond concern to warranted screaming of silent obscenities at the meter & the bolusing of huge corrections, to little avail.Another insulin spike from heck.) But there are things that are stronger then you are,things that in the end make you slick back into the corner,with your tail between your legs...whipped. And though I oscillate between despair & hope on a daily basis,I think that having a baby is the ultimate "sticking it to diabetes" act.I know it can be done.

So today, diabetes, I want you to know that you're not the most important thing on the agenda anymore. And that despite the passage of time,you still don't "know it all"...its a lifelong learning process (what works today, won't tomorrow). It almost seems like a new beginning, this 13th year...the dawning of the 2nd chapter of my life. (PreKid, PostKid) And you and me will have to figure out a working relationship for the next phase as well. (not that I was terribly successful in the first phase...but I want to do better. Pinky Swear It.)

Sincerely,

Me. (13 years later)

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Target: Target

Target is anti-diabetes. Target is a magical place,filled with with many,many things to buy & inhaled insulin pumped through the ventilation system so that inevitably, you will go low.


Target, during the holiday season, is even more magical. Long lines,tantalizing treats to stuff into your mouth to offset any blood sugar discrepancies, etc.etc.etc. Target, seemingly,is the only thing that can drop a 34 week's pregnant, waddling women with diabetes' blood sugar. I think I spent about four hours there,and consumed 67 uncovered carbohydrates (to roll out a "110" by trip's end) It was my own private version of "Extreme Couponing"...

Stats:
Time Spent: 4.5 hours
Number of receipts: 23 (and no, I did not conduct back-to-back transactions...I have too much respect for other shoppers to do that!)
Number of coupons used:20
Total saved with coupons: $183
Total brain cells left: 1
Blood Sugars taken:3
Carbohydrates consumed: 67
Shoppers Who Took pity & let me move ahead in line: 0
Status of back: Regretfully,Target didn't have any of those to buy or I totally
would have.
Status of Christmas List: Done,finished, taken care of.(as well as a few birthday & miscellanous odds and ends) And that's one good thing. I spent alot, but I was going to buy it anyway...so proportionally,it was still a win.

Happy Holidays! (I think they call it "Target" because that's exactly what your blood sugars are, while you're shopping there)Obviously, I love to shop but I can't do any of those marathon type sessions anymore...deal or no deal.My back,feet,and blood sugars all rebel.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Breaking Dawn: Part 1


I'm glad to see November go...it's been a long month. No more blogging daily for me!

Finally went to see "Breaking Dawn- Part 1" today. My husband doesn't have any interest in seeing it, & ultimately, the best time to go see it is on a weekday (when most of the masses of people are at work, not the mall) It was good, well as good as such things can be (most of the people reading this could probably care less about it). I'm not "in" to Harry Potter, I like Twilight much better. (but I don't fall into the fanatical stage about that either) There were approximently five people in the theater (all female, this is very much the "chick" series) all crying over their popcorn & salting their cokes with their tears. (a true sisterhood, as it were)

Without spoiling anything, between the wedding (beginning of the movie) and the emergency C-Section (end of the movie) it was really action-packed (deviating slightly from the book, to make more of a plot). Things got very, very graphic toward the end of the movie and one person went to the exit and just stood there, with their back to the movie. (for the rest of the movie, a good 20 minutes) I get that it was probably a little too much for them but if it were me, I'd go off and do something else, instead of just standing there. (what good is paying for a movie, if you're not watching it?) That was pretty odd. All I can say is, it wouldn't be the best of movies to watch if you had any sort of food aversions(or were in the first trimester of pregnancy). I've seen a real C-Section (and it wasn't nearly as bloody as the hack job in the movie),but it was still kind of disturbing seeing the effects on the heroine.(I would prefer NOT to end up as bad off as that) Probably not the greatest movie to watch when you're in the 3rd trimester either. At the end, I was getting ready to leave & the person up above my seat told me to stick around, there was one more scene after the credits. (which will lead to the next part)

The next two "parts" don't come out till a year/2 years from now...I've read the book already, so I know what happens but waiting is just too hard!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

NaPoBloMo:Diet Coke Fun!





Answering the age-old question...how many used test strips does it take to fill up a 20 oz DC bottle?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, November 28, 2011

NST: Take #2

Captain's Log: Starda(y!) #229

Babies Weight: 4.6 lbs (it's mind boggling how much weight they gain from week 28 on!)

Weeks: Almost 33

Contractions: yes,but much fewer then last week,although my amniotic fluid index has jumped from 25 to 29. I really hope that that is the natural peak,& not the fact that my blood sugars went to pot last week over the irresistible pecan pie/potato/etc.holiday smorgasbord. 33 weeks is supposed to be the "peak"fluid week,& the babies weight is normal. Peri isn't worried.

Movement: not so much on my part,on his,constantly!!

Current complaint list: First Trimester Deja Vu all over again...you name it,I've got it. With the additional challenges of the Third Trimester.

Nursery Status: Ready,once the crib gets reassembled.

Next NST: Thursday...this baby is being well monitored!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

NapoBloMo-Day #27

Happy Birthday to Mr. Handsome!



(no baby handsome,as of yet...and that's ok!)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Day #26 (NaPoBloMo)

There was a time when life, as you knew it, was much more simple. When you didn't have to measure,carb-count, guess-ti-mate,SWAG etc. every single carbohydrate that went into your mouth. When food was food,not something that could simultaneously kill/save you.

That was before. Before D came along. Some of us have never really really known a "before", for others, there were many years spent with the "before." The thing about the "before",is,that for many of us, it may never come again (sorry for the downer opinion,yours may vary,& I certainly hope I'm not right). The years dull the memories of some things but for others, the diabetes stuff gets so hardwired into your psyche that you doubt it ever could get itself undone. It's all normal.

Fact: I'm ready to go back to the "just diabetes" phase of existence. I miss sleep, I miss my back muscles not hurting, I miss Chai Tea Lattes (and everything Starbucks),I miss having clothes that would fit, and I miss not having to bolus a unit every time I even look at a carbohydrate, I miss just worrying about the D-Stuff. Vaguely I recall those days where doctor appointments weren't every week,and I'm ready to go back to them. I guess just because something becomes "normal", it still doesn't mean that you particularly love it. I know there are people for whom pregnancy is a 10 month nightmare(bed rest, the whole 9 yards)but I can't even begin to explain what its like, with diabetes. Every day that ends (without disaster) is the best thing that happened that day. I guess when you go to the doc (and everything is a constant stream of negativity) that really doesn't put you in the mindframe of "enjoying your pregnancy." I'm not afraid of caring for a newborn anymore, for even the demands of that is the successful conclusion of the 3rd Trimester. And yeah, I'm nowhere NEAR 39 weeks. My patience has kind of run out (and I would really like to hop in a time machine & fast-forward to the end of December) & I want a healthy,bouncing, bundle o' joy to be here.(NOW) And if it sounds like I'm complaining, I guess I am..there's gotta be some place I can let it all out & it had just as well be here. (which very few folks go) It's my opinion that the people who enjoy their pregnancies don't have complicating medical conditions involved.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Blue Friday: Four




(life is much more interesting when you don't wear the same color of socks!)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, November 24, 2011

NaPoBloMo Day #24

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so worn out with traveling, family,& bouncing blood sugars I have absolutely nothing to say..but I hope it's been a good one for you and yours!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Chef de Llehs

Let the mess-making commence. Rarely do I actually bake,& I know I'm supposed to be all domisticated & stuff by this point (I really do know how...I just don't enjoy it) because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (so they say) but I find my own baking slightly repulsive (don't ask me why, its a weird hangup I have,everyone else seems to think its just fine), there's more to the story then I'm just too lazy to do it. Nothing like the holidays to make you do it anyway.







(green bean casserole, muffins)

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Christmas Baby (Maybe?)

Fortunately, the eye exam didn't reveal anything dire. It's just a floater (in the words of my eye doctor: "due to getting older." Yes, he knows that I'm 30, and since when did turning 30 put me in the middle-age category?) A black, blob-ish, floater. (being nearsighted, I have a few floaters, but they've never been black/grey, they're the pencil line variety)
Better safe then sorry though (I'm glad I got it checked out). Hopefully it will fade.

No word on when I might expect an induction, the OB-GYN said around 39 weeks. (if it hasn't happened by then) I'm not quite getting how, if anytime after 37 weeks (considered: full-term) is considered just fine, why they would wait till 39 weeks to induce. I guess the womb is a nice,welcoming,nurturing place but 39 weeks just seems too long. I read in my nursing textbooks that diabetic placentas also age faster then non-diabetic placentas (aka, start degrading around 37-38 weeks). And if the baby is too large...that can certainly play a role? (according to the obgyn, that really didn't matter in terms of induction, maybe she meant that would be grounds for a C-Section)

We won't be going anywhere for Christmas, though. (that much is pretty clear) 37 weeks is just after Christmas. (and even 3.5 hours away with family is too far away) Or, it could be a New Year's Baby. Or, it could be a 2012 baby. Time will tell.