Wordless Wednesday: The 259th Day

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Yesterday morning, as I rolled out of bed, I was positive that this was the day. I don't think you really want to know precisely why I was so positive (let's just say that it had to do with gross body substances) & that, combined with rocking cramps, had me convinced that this, was it.

Well, it didn't quite work out that way. Husband took me to the OB-GYN (a normal appointment, all ready scheduled) and I'm not in labor...not yet. I am 2 cm dilated (seems to be progressing at the rate of 1 cm/week) but unless 6 cups of amniotic fluid exit the building, I'm not really "in labor". I am also GBS (group B streptococcal?) positive, so labor will involve antibiotics in my IV. And also, the hospital doesn't allow you to wear your own insulin pump, something that doesn't make me too happy because I've been planning on this for months (barring any emergencies). OB-GYN assured me that they have a team of internal medicine guys to "get my diabetes back on track with pump adjustments" after delivery. (yeah, right. NO offense, but my diabetes is never "on track") And then...the issue about blood sugars during actual delivery. He said they like to run them on the high side. (and by that, I'm guessing 100-120,which is kind of laughable to think about those numbers being on the high side! And that's perfectly alright, if that works out to be the case but I'm envisioning having to get ALOT of IV dextrose if they're the ones who actually run the D-show) My Endo doesn't have privileges there, so she doesn't have any say in the matter. I'm not sure that I can refuse to go off my pump (and not be admitted there), I've never been refused the use of my pump for an extended period of time.

And then, it was off to the NST/biophysical profile which went pretty routinely. I never pass the NST, but the biophysical profile always comes out ok. (8/10 is normal) Perinatologist doctor wanted to know what OB/GYN doctor had planned (in terms of delivery)...its kind of like the two offices never communicate. (the answer is:vaginal delivery, unless it hasn't happened by the 39th week, and then they will schedule an induction) I have to get a magnesium infusion (via IV) this week, to prepare for delivery & in the hospital, they'll be checking my electrolytes daily (and the babies electrolytes at birth, to screen for any problems). He also updated all the names/numbers of my Endo,the OBGYN group, the pediatrician that we chose, and my Nephrologist into the hospital computer system in preparation for that day.(suite at the hospital=booked,patient with zillion medical issues coming through)
The antibiotics will fortunately be penicillin (I'm allergic to doxycycline). I don't really know I'm really going to know if I'm in labor if the amniotic sac doesn't burst, because I have contractions (both painful, and not) already,but I'm guessing that if dilation continues at this rate at some point it will switch from "latent"(0-3 cm) to "active"(4+ cm)and things will steamroll from there. I've survived Christmas, so now I'm hoping I have a New Year's baby (you get a ton of free stuff if you've the first baby on Jan.1) & the baby is mature enough, so if he wishes to make his appearance on that date, I'm more then agreeable to that.

Wordless Wednesday: Matching

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The Last Week

Nope, it's likely not the "last week of pregnancy..." but, with any luck, my insulin requirements have hit their plateau and that makes me VERY HAPPY. Early next week, it will be considered a "full term" pregnancy...and that makes me happy as well. (in the words of the OB -GYN, the goal is 37 weeks, but if things can go 1-2 weeks longer that is "bonus time")

On schedule for the this week: Weekly appts. with the OBGYN, to start checking for dilation/effacement. And the Group B Strep swab, to determine if antibiotics will be needed during delivery. As well as the (2) mandatory NonStress tests, a final appointment with my Endo (I can't say things are really that great between us, but now is not the time to be looking for a new Endo. I need to iron out a final plan for my bgs/insulin/etc. for birth,and afterwords) It's not the hospital where she has privilages (and realistically, how much time am I going to have to do diabetes overhaul), so I think I really need to have this stuff figured out now. I do agree that my blood sugars should be under 120 the entire time (to minimize the chances of hypoglycemia for the baby) but never having been through this before, will they let me suck on hard candies(or ice) if I'm running low/in the throngs of nausea? I think this hospital prefers you to be on an insulin drip, which I'd prefer NOT to be, unless I need a C-Section. (if I can handle things myself, I'm going to) Basically, I need a natural delivery plan, a C-Section Delivery Plan, and a Post-Baby Delivery plan for my diabetes. We also have to tour the actual hospital ward....I have no idea where it is. (I didn't do my student rotation there) And then I think, I will feel "ready." (the car seat has been installed and all systems are GO) As to when it will actually happen, no one knows (but I rather hope it is prior to 2012) Lightening (whereby the baby drops into the pelvis) hasn't occurred, so my lungs are compressed to the size of golfballs (walking up a flight of stairs, or walking 10 feet both leave me winded). On the positive side, my back does not hurt as much as it did a few weeks ago...but I am grateful that diabetes is going to get me out of having to wait it out an extra 2-3 weeks (should labor not occur). At the most, it will be three more weeks. (and I'm having contractions on my NonStress tests, I don't think it will be that long)

The WEGO Health Awards: 2011

And while I'm at it (posting, that is) I'd like to thank the kind soul who nominated me for the WEGO HEALTH ACTIVIST (2011) AWARDS...(Best Kept Secret!) You were/are very sweet, and I appreciate the kind words. (I appreciate ALL my readers,all 5 of you!) So I payed it forward, and nominated another health blogger that I enjoy reading...I encourage you to do the same. (you'll probably make their day,even if you/they don't really win anything from this promo)

YOU GUYS ROCK. (DON'T EVER FORGET THAT)

The Week Before Christmas

Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the state
There were babes being born (both early, and late).

And I had just rolled, on my side, for a snooze
When my nose was soon greeted, by the strong smell of booze

For Santa was here, and cocoa n’ eggnog
Was not his forte’…from the strong whiff of grog.

I groaned, and I waddled, to the window, real slow
I guessed that I couldn’t avoid seeing this show.

And there, was St. Nick, all rosy with glee
He slurped, and he burped, and looked straight at me.

“Hey honey, I’ve brought you a bouncing bundle o’ joy
Today is the day for your baby boy!”

The contractions were strong, & it made me afraid
That this day in the books, a birth would be made.

“All I want for Christmas is just 14 (+) more days
I must decline, and request, that you put in a raise.”

Old Santa was miffed, as he’d wasted his time
On a house in the boonies, on the public dime

He sighed, and he climbed back into his old sleigh
His agenda had most clearly been upset that day

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out at quite the rate
“Next time, I’ll make sure, to double-check the date!”

Diabetes: The Thirteenth Year

(Photo: Creative Commons)

Dear Diabetes,
Today, you are a teenager. It seems as though a million years have passed...or at least a generation. (that five year old girl on the other side of your hospital room is now legally an ADULT. Yikers.) Do you remember that day...the pain, the worry, the fear that would soon cast it's long shadow over "all the days of your life?"

I do. But I also remember a remarkable CDE,
who,on that very next day (in fact, some of the first words out of her mouth) told me that I could still have kids. (Was I thinking about having children,heck no,it was about the furthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to live.)

That was then. And this, is now.(I trust I've grown up a bit since then)And in retrospect, I'm glad she said that.(its something every young person needs to hear at diagnosis,& I once talked to someone dx'd in the 1960's who didn't have kids because her doctors forbade it, which is incredibly sad. I think everyone deserves a doctor who will work with them to make their dream happen). It's impossible not to think of the rock n' rolling, hiccupping,rapidly growing life inside of me. I guess I think about babies more then I think about diabetes...which is saying alot.You really do still suck bucketloads, diabetes,and cause more pain then is ever warranted. Seemingly 95% of the other people getting NST's at the perinatologist also have diabetes.(and sugars that warrant "concern". My own sugars in the past week have moved beyond concern to warranted screaming of silent obscenities at the meter & the bolusing of huge corrections, to little avail.Another insulin spike from heck.) But there are things that are stronger then you are,things that in the end make you slick back into the corner,with your tail between your legs...whipped. And though I oscillate between despair & hope on a daily basis,I think that having a baby is the ultimate "sticking it to diabetes" act.I know it can be done.

So today, diabetes, I want you to know that you're not the most important thing on the agenda anymore. And that despite the passage of time,you still don't "know it all"...its a lifelong learning process (what works today, won't tomorrow). It almost seems like a new beginning, this 13th year...the dawning of the 2nd chapter of my life. (PreKid, PostKid) And you and me will have to figure out a working relationship for the next phase as well. (not that I was terribly successful in the first phase...but I want to do better. Pinky Swear It.)

Sincerely,

Me. (13 years later)

Target: Target

Target is anti-diabetes. Target is a magical place,filled with with many,many things to buy & inhaled insulin pumped through the ventilation system so that inevitably, you will go low.


Target, during the holiday season, is even more magical. Long lines,tantalizing treats to stuff into your mouth to offset any blood sugar discrepancies, etc.etc.etc. Target, seemingly,is the only thing that can drop a 34 week's pregnant, waddling women with diabetes' blood sugar. I think I spent about four hours there,and consumed 67 uncovered carbohydrates (to roll out a "110" by trip's end) It was my own private version of "Extreme Couponing"...

Stats:
Time Spent: 4.5 hours
Number of receipts: 23 (and no, I did not conduct back-to-back transactions...I have too much respect for other shoppers to do that!)
Number of coupons used:20
Total saved with coupons: $183
Total brain cells left: 1
Blood Sugars taken:3
Carbohydrates consumed: 67
Shoppers Who Took pity & let me move ahead in line: 0
Status of back: Regretfully,Target didn't have any of those to buy or I totally
would have.
Status of Christmas List: Done,finished, taken care of.(as well as a few birthday & miscellanous odds and ends) And that's one good thing. I spent alot, but I was going to buy it anyway...so proportionally,it was still a win.

Happy Holidays! (I think they call it "Target" because that's exactly what your blood sugars are, while you're shopping there)Obviously, I love to shop but I can't do any of those marathon type sessions anymore...deal or no deal.My back,feet,and blood sugars all rebel.

Breaking Dawn: Part 1

I'm glad to see November go...it's been a long month. No more blogging daily for me!

Finally went to see "Breaking Dawn- Part 1" today. My husband doesn't have any interest in seeing it, & ultimately, the best time to go see it is on a weekday (when most of the masses of people are at work, not the mall) It was good, well as good as such things can be (most of the people reading this could probably care less about it). I'm not "in" to Harry Potter, I like Twilight much better. (but I don't fall into the fanatical stage about that either) There were approximently five people in the theater (all female, this is very much the "chick" series) all crying over their popcorn & salting their cokes with their tears. (a true sisterhood, as it were)

Without spoiling anything, between the wedding (beginning of the movie) and the emergency C-Section (end of the movie) it was really action-packed (deviating slightly from the book, to make more of a plot). Things got very, very graphic toward the end of the movie and one person went to the exit and just stood there, with their back to the movie. (for the rest of the movie, a good 20 minutes) I get that it was probably a little too much for them but if it were me, I'd go off and do something else, instead of just standing there. (what good is paying for a movie, if you're not watching it?) That was pretty odd. All I can say is, it wouldn't be the best of movies to watch if you had any sort of food aversions(or were in the first trimester of pregnancy). I've seen a real C-Section (and it wasn't nearly as bloody as the hack job in the movie),but it was still kind of disturbing seeing the effects on the heroine.(I would prefer NOT to end up as bad off as that) Probably not the greatest movie to watch when you're in the 3rd trimester either. At the end, I was getting ready to leave & the person up above my seat told me to stick around, there was one more scene after the credits. (which will lead to the next part)

The next two "parts" don't come out till a year/2 years from now...I've read the book already, so I know what happens but waiting is just too hard!

NaPoBloMo:Diet Coke Fun!

Answering the age-old question...how many used test strips does it take to fill up a 20 oz DC bottle?

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NST: Take #2

Captain's Log: Starda(y!) #229

Babies Weight: 4.6 lbs (it's mind boggling how much weight they gain from week 28 on!)

Weeks: Almost 33

Contractions: yes,but much fewer then last week,although my amniotic fluid index has jumped from 25 to 29. I really hope that that is the natural peak,& not the fact that my blood sugars went to pot last week over the irresistible pecan pie/potato/etc.holiday smorgasbord. 33 weeks is supposed to be the "peak"fluid week,& the babies weight is normal. Peri isn't worried.

Movement: not so much on my part,on his,constantly!!

Current complaint list: First Trimester Deja Vu all over again...you name it,I've got it. With the additional challenges of the Third Trimester.

Nursery Status: Ready,once the crib gets reassembled.

Next NST: Thursday...this baby is being well monitored!

NapoBloMo-Day #27

Happy Birthday to Mr. Handsome!



(no baby handsome,as of yet...and that's ok!)

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Day #26 (NaPoBloMo)

There was a time when life, as you knew it, was much more simple. When you didn't have to measure,carb-count, guess-ti-mate,SWAG etc. every single carbohydrate that went into your mouth. When food was food,not something that could simultaneously kill/save you.

That was before. Before D came along. Some of us have never really really known a "before", for others, there were many years spent with the "before." The thing about the "before",is,that for many of us, it may never come again (sorry for the downer opinion,yours may vary,& I certainly hope I'm not right). The years dull the memories of some things but for others, the diabetes stuff gets so hardwired into your psyche that you doubt it ever could get itself undone. It's all normal.

Fact: I'm ready to go back to the "just diabetes" phase of existence. I miss sleep, I miss my back muscles not hurting, I miss Chai Tea Lattes (and everything Starbucks),I miss having clothes that would fit, and I miss not having to bolus a unit every time I even look at a carbohydrate, I miss just worrying about the D-Stuff. Vaguely I recall those days where doctor appointments weren't every week,and I'm ready to go back to them. I guess just because something becomes "normal", it still doesn't mean that you particularly love it. I know there are people for whom pregnancy is a 10 month nightmare(bed rest, the whole 9 yards)but I can't even begin to explain what its like, with diabetes. Every day that ends (without disaster) is the best thing that happened that day. I guess when you go to the doc (and everything is a constant stream of negativity) that really doesn't put you in the mindframe of "enjoying your pregnancy." I'm not afraid of caring for a newborn anymore, for even the demands of that is the successful conclusion of the 3rd Trimester. And yeah, I'm nowhere NEAR 39 weeks. My patience has kind of run out (and I would really like to hop in a time machine & fast-forward to the end of December) & I want a healthy,bouncing, bundle o' joy to be here.(NOW) And if it sounds like I'm complaining, I guess I am..there's gotta be some place I can let it all out & it had just as well be here. (which very few folks go) It's my opinion that the people who enjoy their pregnancies don't have complicating medical conditions involved.

Blue Friday: Four

(life is much more interesting when you don't wear the same color of socks!)


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NaPoBloMo Day #24

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so worn out with traveling, family,& bouncing blood sugars I have absolutely nothing to say..but I hope it's been a good one for you and yours!

Chef de Llehs

Let the mess-making commence. Rarely do I actually bake,& I know I'm supposed to be all domisticated & stuff by this point (I really do know how...I just don't enjoy it) because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (so they say) but I find my own baking slightly repulsive (don't ask me why, its a weird hangup I have,everyone else seems to think its just fine), there's more to the story then I'm just too lazy to do it. Nothing like the holidays to make you do it anyway.







(green bean casserole, muffins)

Christmas Baby (Maybe?)

Fortunately, the eye exam didn't reveal anything dire. It's just a floater (in the words of my eye doctor: "due to getting older." Yes, he knows that I'm 30, and since when did turning 30 put me in the middle-age category?) A black, blob-ish, floater. (being nearsighted, I have a few floaters, but they've never been black/grey, they're the pencil line variety)
Better safe then sorry though (I'm glad I got it checked out). Hopefully it will fade.

No word on when I might expect an induction, the OB-GYN said around 39 weeks. (if it hasn't happened by then) I'm not quite getting how, if anytime after 37 weeks (considered: full-term) is considered just fine, why they would wait till 39 weeks to induce. I guess the womb is a nice,welcoming,nurturing place but 39 weeks just seems too long. I read in my nursing textbooks that diabetic placentas also age faster then non-diabetic placentas (aka, start degrading around 37-38 weeks). And if the baby is too large...that can certainly play a role? (according to the obgyn, that really didn't matter in terms of induction, maybe she meant that would be grounds for a C-Section)

We won't be going anywhere for Christmas, though. (that much is pretty clear) 37 weeks is just after Christmas. (and even 3.5 hours away with family is too far away) Or, it could be a New Year's Baby. Or, it could be a 2012 baby. Time will tell.

NapoBloMo-Day #21

The only thing that can be said about today, is that it hasn't started well & I think the ending may be even worse.


Today was my first non-stress test. That was a fairly uneventful event, (4 very pregnant people in lounge chairs hooked up to electrodes) until I noticed that the contractions graph was having ACTUAL JUMPS on it,& at this point in the process, I have no business having contractions. The nurse noticed and asked A. if I was feeling them and B. how far along I was. No, I'm not feeling them. (yes, they are actual contractions) What the Sam's Hill?? As far as the heartrate/variability/baby moving went, he is very active.

And then it was time for the ultrasound. I was feeling pretty bummed/on the point of tears over the contractions when the doctor came in and asked how I was (answer "overwhelmed") which he assured me was perfectly understandable on the verge of the beginning of the end. The placental blood flow & everything looked ok, the amniotic fluid index has actually gone down 2 points & the contractions are likely perfectly normal, given the increased amniotic fluid index. As long as the contractions aren't painful there is no need to be overly concerned. See you in a week.

With my nerves freshly shot from that, I got to schedule an emergency appointment with my eye doctor for the large black "floater" that has been swimming around in my right eye for the past 2 days. (the thing shows no signs of going away,initially I thought it was from a headache but nope) I had my eye appointment for the year in October (which showed things to be absolutely perfect, D-wise) but apparently my right eye didn't get the memo. (so here I go again this afternoon)

I think I'm falling apart.

Day #20-Napoblomo

I eat everything I come in contact with...kid-themed or not!

A Blast from the Past: Day #19

I found this today...and I'm pretty sure it's the last one on Planet Earth. Long, long ago, Staples & Office Depot would actually give you vouchers for $3 off your next purchase, no minimum required (on the spot, when you turned in ink cartridges). They could be "stacked" (aka, used with 2 more vouchers) and combined with coupons & one's total Out of Pocket costs were very, very low. (and even more weird, the vouchers were all the same so there were no unique codes on the vouchers) It's not like that now, if you turn in ink cartridges it'll be 90+ days before you see the rewards in your "account" and you have to spend $$ at the store to even get the rewards.

But this beauty of these coupons are...that they never expire,so nostalgia aside, I'm going to spend it (one of these days). Maybe not even the manager will know what these were, its been so long since they were in vogue!

Blue Friday #3: The Heir, the Spare, & Why I keep them there