Ditzy with a "D"

One Word: Ace Inhibitors are NASTY. One other word, never start taking them when another medical issue is rearing up its head.

I am dizzy, and the AI hasn't really dropped my blood pressure but when you stuff 5 differant (potent) drugs into your patient, attempting to problemsolve its probably no wonder you're dizzy. Discharge,I made it to the door before the security guard drug me back to the lobby + told me to rest, got a blanket + no one bothered me for the rest of the night. Dizzyness is the pits.

Off to the restroom to puke, then call my gastro doctor.

My Tax-Free Weekend

As you're probably aware, several states had their sales tax-free weekend last weekend.(and Texas, will be having theirs the weekend of the 17-19th)

Prime oppurtunity to go spend some cash-it was like Black Friday all over again. And, as an employee of Company X, I got a 20% discount that weekend(another excuse to go shopping).

First stop:

Kmart #1. The theme music from Mission Impossible dancing through my head, I grab a cart and zoom toward the pharmacy, where I deposit the RX to be filled. Next, I grab 2 Zest soaps+ an AA 8 pack and head toward electronics, where I'll shortly find out whether I'll be in this store for the next 2 hours.
"Here you go," the cashier hands me the soaps,batteries, AND the $10 gift card.

Darn. I'm going to be here awhile.

Head back to the pharmacy, where I pay for the transferred rx with the gift card and get another $30 gift card.(Kmart honors competetitors coupons)

Fill up with more soaps, batteries. Head for checkout. Cashier can't scan coupons,so I end up spending an extra 45 minutes at Customer Service, but when its all said and done I've got another $50 in gift cards.

Next stop: CVS.This goes considerably smoother, and I'm out of there in 15 minutes.It's a favorite, because they've always got coupons and Extra Bucks
to cut down on the cost. $2.36 gets me $26 worth of stuff.

Go to Kmart #2. Try out battery offer with electronics cashier, but it gets squashed when they call up front and find out the deal is dead.(at this Kmart)
Oh,well.Stock up on clearanced priced clothes, made sweeter by the $5 off coupon in the paper. Pay with gift cards.

Go to Target, Staples,TJMaxx,Walmart. Stop in at 5 Guys. Feel Re-Act-ion-Y, drink real coke while waiting for the burger. Eat peanuts.Shake.Wonder why, since the meter reads 100.Figure the hot weather has something to do with it. Eat burger, feel better.

Go to Barnes & Noble, spend the next 2 hours deeply engrossed in the latest book on the British royal family.At some point,every teenage girl develops a crush (on the king-to-be) That,of course,is now a pointless exercise(for anyone single) since he's (most probably) taken. It looks pretty solid for him and Kate.(since breaking up, and getting back together)


Got home around midnight. I hope to make enough gc's off the Kmart deal to get a new digital camera.

Weekday Bump

I need a bumper sticker that describes my frustrations with the lack of funding/D in general. Didn't find what I was looking for on Cafepress.com, so I'll have to design it myself.

And, in other news, my doc's office has decided to stop being personally responsible for their patients when they're admitted to the hospital. I guess the workload was too great. Now, you're turned over to a "hospitalist"(the latest and greatest of 21st century medical care) who will provide whatever medical care you may need. You can read about my experience with THAT system here. It was a grand and glorious disaster,and if I'd have listened to that dude for my diabetes care I'd have spent much longer in the hospital.
I've made up my mind that, at any point,my doctor decides to admit me it won't be to that hospital. Said hospital has an even worse reputation then the one I live near.
Especially not since my doc wouldn't even be looking after me-I would never go there. If I needed hospitlization,I'd head over to the medical center where I know I wouldn't have to worry about anything diabetes related.(they're tops) They've got their disadvantages though(long drive,and its a teaching hospital)
Health care is more of a business these days, and hospitals are starting to wake up to that fact. The ones around here,just need to wake up faster.

The coffee vendor at work is running a promotion this week(unlimited free coffee,out of the machine)and its been extremely popular.(as you can imagine) I didn't take into account that the optional "sweetener" button meant sugar, so I've had quite a few really high blood sugars the past couple of days. Now, I know.(bolus ALOT beforehand)By the time I try all 30 flavors, I'll have my boluses down to a T.

Wedding plans are bumpin' right along- I've got tons to do, and its probably not going to end till its over! The date/time/rehearsal dinner/place/honeymoon plans/and cake have all been decided on. This week, I've gotta order the invitations + start checking out flower shops.
102 days,folks.
(eeeeeeeeeeek)

A Million Wishes for a Cure

What do you wish for?
(I wish that the blame game would just stop-and people would understand the facts about each type of diabetes.Being understood isn't a cure,but it would make our lives so much easier.)

Postmortem

Won't do anything, I've tried to reboot it in "safe"(and every other)mode. It either got a virus or blew out over the insufficient memory.

It truly is, dead. Served me faithfully for 4 years.(which is pretty good considering how cheap it was to begin with)

Can't afford another computer, so I'll be doing everything at the library for awhile.

My Award

Thanks, Caro!


And I'm going to pass it on to Asskeeper-though she tried to
bump me off with a non-diet soda last Sat..
(I say that,because presoda I was 180, post soda, 400- its a joke between us)

Revenge of the SuperBolus

Whenever I take a particularly large amount of insulin, it seems that normal bolus ratios don't apply. There are a couple(or more,depending on the dose) of units in there that I have to deduct or bam, after 2 hours I'm low.

Due to this "fudge factor", I'm a little leary about bolusing everything up front, preferring to dual wave it(and suspend basal for a period of time) on particularly challenging meals. Normally,I just bolus after I eat, and only after I'm 120+. Insulin works very quickly in me.

Ate a rather large stickybun on Thursday for breakfast,took only 6 units(instead of 8) and still
got low. I don't know if the sole alcoholic drink I'd consumed the night previously had anything to do with it, I hope not. How can anyone drink alcohol on a regular basis when it screws up the blood sugar so majorly? The rest of the day, I ran between 90-163(even with cutting my boluses in half) It's called dumb luck, and its why I rarely drink. I don't have that kind of luck on a regular basis-and I need a new medical ID.

------------------
Friday morning,July 13.

Scene: Coronodo Ballroom,H Section. Coronodo Springs Hotel, Orlando,Fl.

Time:8:50 AM.

I load my plate high with scrambled eggs,bacon, sausage,hashbrowns,and fruit, grab two chocolate milks/cup of coffee and slide into a back table-intent on eating my breakfast/waking up before heading off to another thrilling(boring) session.

"May I sit here?"

The family at the table smiles in gracious assent, so I sit down and start working on my breakfast.

9 AM, they're finished, head off. I'm 1/2 way through with my own breakfast but I think I'll stay around for John Walsh's "Strike the Spike",I don't feel like hurrying.

"May we sit here?"

I say yes, because there's only one person at the table and I don't wish to be unsociable.But why they chose my table out of all the other (more) interesting ones I don't know. I'm as socially scintillating as a block of wood.

"Dad, can I have some chocolate milk?" the little girl asks her father.

"That's not really..."

"Pleaseee,Daddy? I want some."

"Ok, I'll get you some." He looks helpless, in the face of such unmeasurable cuteness. And after all, its healthier then poptarts.

Casting a ruthful glance at the 2nd of my chocolate milk bottles, I sigh. No saving it for later- they need it more then I do.

"Here, take mine."

"Thank you," he says, gratefully. And they commence to eating their own breakfasts.

"It's soo good," the little girl says.

"Yep, its good sugar," I say.

"Good sugar?" her dad winces.

Slap forehead, mentally. How do I get in these conversations- I must seem like a real brainwave.
Chocolate milk is not the healthiest of options.

The dad takes the little girl off to childcare.
I strike up a conversation with the lady on my
right.

"So, do you have a child with diabetes?"

"No, my husband has diabetes."

Yeah, that's right. She'd mentioned that, when she sat down next to me.

"And you?"

"I've got diabetes. No kids."

We have a very good conversation, and at the end of it, I've learned something. Just because one is the the Surgeon General doesn't mean diabetes is a piece of cake. In some respects, it must be more difficult when you're famous(you can't get support in the usual methods).
And its a good thing we were sitting in the back of the room, because by the end of the John Walsh presentation my sides hurt from laughing so hard(and it was time to check damage control from the breakfast)

"Great meeting you."

"Same here." I smile, and though I'm still tongue tied the instant her husband came up I hope I'm not too bad.

200 mg/dl. Not too bad. I go to the Exhibit Hall, browse around.

11 AM- My stomach is rolling and I go back to the room for a nap, prelunch.

1:30 PM- Get up, go back to buffet for lunch. Look at lunch + decide the only thing I want is sugar free punch. Go to
joint Nicole Johnson/Fran Kaufmann "D and Pregnancy" discussion group.

"Now, I'm not going to ask if anyone here is pregnant;
(my stomach lurches) but I just want to say that its entirely possible to have a healthy baby with diabetes..." Nicole J.Baker is giving the opening remarks.

Darn it, I'm not going to make it. Need to get back to the hotel room before I hurl. At least I got to see Nicole.

10 minutes later, I stumble back out + back to the hotel room I go. Become a recluse for the rest of the day, while the disagreeable food made its way out of my system.(I think it was the sausage) Dissapointing, because I'd planned to attend the Young Adults dinner(with Will Cross) that evening but that didn't happen. Ah well,such is life.

Under the Pelikan Sun: A Love Affair with a Lancing Device

9 days and many memorable experiences later, and THIS is what I've gotta post about first. It made the entire trip worthwhile. Unfortuantly, I'm not able to post pictures or links(weird computer quirk of the day) so for the time being,you'll just have to read about it here:
http://www.healthcentral.com/diabetes/c/17/2728/pelikan-sun/

The thing is every bit as wonderful as the diabetes web guru David Mendosa says it is. Its only drawback is its the size of two cellphones. (it will not fit in your meter case!) And its mine to trial for 90 days.After that, the company says they'll be offering it at a "reduced" price for purchase. And I just might buy it, the thing is absolutely the best darn LD on the market. (and I think I've tried them all, the scars on my fingers bear testimony to that fact) You don't feel the pricks at all.(it's also going for $250+ in Australia,should you wish to shell out for one now)I think that everyone who attended FFL must have gotten one, it was a very popular booth.

Never thought I'd be saying this..but I love this lancing device!!!!!!!!!

Leavin' on a Jet Plane....

Just as soon as I:

-Go to the laudrymat and wash,dry,and iron 7 loads of laundry.

- Eat up everything in the 'fridge set to expire in the next 8 days.

- Pack, pack, pack! The only thing I can AFFORD to forget, would be my diabetes supplies. As weird as that sounds, I could go sans everything + hundreds of complete strangers would volunteer whatever I needed. I am sure that I'll forget something else though(I always do) and be kickin' myself the whole week.

- Make a run by work + clear up a little discrepency about the number of vacation days I have left.(magically halved,last Thursday) Because they're wrong,I had to readjust the remaining personal days to cover this vacation + I'm not amused at this latest glitch in the "never let her finally get away" conspiracy.

- Go to the gym. Its going on 3 weeks since I've last been,and I'm going to a diabetes conferance,for pity's sake.I need to feel like I'm attempting good management(on some scale).

-Take my youngest brother out to eat-when I get back, his leave will already be over
and nothing is as important as family. I love him & I'm proud of him + every moment counts when dealing with the uncertainty of war.

- Sleep. If there's time,and if I'm not too excited, before my flight
takes off at 6:40 AM Tuesday morning. It's gonna be so cool to see various
people again-and meet some new ones from Tudiabetes.

See ya'll!

The Sorenson Project: Roadmap to the Future

This article:
reminded me of the Scrubs rerun:



Fascinating concept,that. Quote:
"The aim of putting all this technology into the Intelligent Toilet is to improve quality of life by keeping a continuous check on symptoms indicative of "lifestyle" diseases, such as diabetes. Such diseases often go unnoticed until the patient goes to the doctor's for a check-up, by which time the symptoms may have progressed."
If you have-get sugar in your urine,that can cue you in to get yourself to a doctor + not be ignorant of the situation for the next 20+ years.Maybe a device like this would be worth the $5,000 sticker price to those who ARE at a strong risk for the disease. I'm more interested in the diabetes angle of this device- getting people diagnosed early will save many millions of $$'s in the long run.(I don't know if its still around,the article is from several years ago) What America needs- is diagnostic abnormal urine detecters on every single sanitation disposal device out there. And they've got to be cheap. No one wants to pay $5,000 for a toilet.


And speaking of other research projects for the greater good,check this out. The ultimate goal, is to be able to trace the ancestry of every single person in the world, via maternal or paternal dna.

The MAP of
so-far participants is quite impressive,this is a global project.(albeit
a bit..difficult).You request the "kit",and they send you a mouthwash sample/geneology forms to fill out. Yep,there's issues of privacy, but ANYTHING can get hacked + I believe they're doing their best NOT to let that happen. This is a really cool project!(in my opinion)

"Blowin' in the Wind"

"Blowin' in the Wind"
(because sometimes I want a cure so bad I'd do anything..and I mean ANYTHING. Seriously, I think my insurance company would sooner cover a transplant then a CGMS)

How many lows must a type 1 go through
Before, you can call him a man (or woman)
Yeah, and how many hearts will be broken in two
Before, we finally understand

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

How many times must a white cloud set sail
Across a retinous sea
Yeah, and how many a1cs must I fail
Before, this is the death of me.

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

How many times must a shot break the skin
Before, they're forever banned?
Yeah, its do-or-die, do this and you’ll win
50 more years- and a ton of adoration.

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

How many years can a mountain exist
Before, it is washed to the sea?
I’m certainly no mountain- how some people exist
Many decades- is certainly beyond me.

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

How many moms and dads will be told
That their two year old just got D
Yeah, and when they go and catch a rather virulent cold
Worry most about ketones in their pee.

Yes, and how many times will a man look up
Into the face of the local paramedic
Yeah, and if you weren’t already feeling down on your luck
That’s quite enough to make you feel real sick.

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

How many deaths will it take till they know
That too many people have died
Yeah, it’s a disease of the high, and the low
Its quite enough to make you fit to be tied.

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

How many parts of me will they patch
Before, they say its just no use.
Yeah, this thing called dia-bet-es just hasn’t any match
Through shots and blood and tears and lows and juice.

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

I hate my diabetes- the tears in the night
My life, is going down the drain
Kidneys, nerves, BKA, heart, and my sight
The thoughts, are driving me insane. (Gee, another complication!)

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

How many times must I say I want cured
Before, they take me seriously
Yeah, I guess they must really need to be reassured
That a transplants the only hope for me.

The answer, my friend, is not blowin’ in the wind
The answer, we’ll never understand.

I’m trading in my ‘beates for a million pills
I’m sure, I got the better deal
Yeah, cuz I’ve got an awesome life and I’ll live it still
I can’t explain how it makes you feel

The answer, my friend, you’ll finally understand
The day you quit trying to understand.

Red, White, and Blue: These Colors Don't Run

Noteable Things that happened this week:

- I joined TuDiabetes. Finally. I'm probably the only blogger who HASN'T joined, at this point. I'm not much of a social networker but I could get into something like this.

- I've been high. Really high, 99% of the time. And I don't know why. Infusion set= check, new insulin= check, not sick=check, everything else= check. I'm afraid to really go to town on the insulin because I'm afraid it will all majorly crash on me + cause hypos. So, I'm being too cautious + I'm still really high + in major grump mood. Why can't diabetes be its normal unpredictable, instead of completely unpredictable? I'm not in the mood for this. I just want my blood sugars to come back to earth so I can get everything done.

-My brother flies in tonight, on a 2 week leave from the Marines. His last leave, before heading to Iraq.

- I fell for my Semi-Annual Ebay scam + had to reset all my passwords, usernames, clean out my entire cookie collection, etc. to prevent said scammer from gaining access to them. Boy, did I feel stupid. I will say that I don't fall for the same ones...so I've got to be getting better at recognizing them. Maybe I can blame the brain fog.

-The place we'd finally decided to get married at, cancelled. Nothing was in writing,discussing it was in the immeadiete future though. Back to looking...

On second thought, perhaps stress could be playing a minor role in the less then pristine diabetes control.

Steel Magnolias- Color me a Reformed PWD

"I'd rather have a little bit of wonderful then a lifetime of nothing special."
-Shelby, the diabetic heroine, Steel Magnolias

And so, as you all know, she had her baby + shortly thereafter expired from kidney failure.(failed transplant) Fulled the "diabetics shouldn't have babies" rumor mills for all time.
I like that quote- simply because it embraces the challenges, doesn't give the dream up. I don't like it for the woefully inaccurate portrait (of diabetic pregnancies) it presents. I want to live like that- no matter what the future holds, and what diabetes might throw at me, the point is life is(to some extent) what you make it.

Now for the reformed part.

This (hopefully) being the last Summer of the Singlehood, I feel the urge to do something that most married people, and especially diabetics, would not participate in. Happily married people feel the need to stick around for each other, and fellow PWD's understand what said activity does to the blood sugars.
I know that that said activity has the potential for overstuffed stomach, extremily high blood sugars, and the instant stamp of Endo dissaproval.(no,I don't recommend asking them about it) Because, I've done it before + it was not the pretty sight. Ketchup, mustard, relish- the area was like a war zone.
I will say that after 5 hotdogs(and buns),1/2 a gallon of water + pepsi(to queall the rolling stomach) the dubious distinction of "5th place" was not enough to give me any dreams of going professional. Nope, I went home + swore off hotdogs for an entire month. And its been several years since I did this.
But(come the 3rd of July), I'd like to do again- because I never will again
+ hey,its a way to get a free supper. (plus half a gallon of ice cream, for participation) Just gotta remember to prebolus 10 units.

After that-someone else can have my place. My wildchild days will be over.

Another Meme

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Heidi
2. Peggy(blame my brother for this one,and yes, you will be in deep trouble if you ever try it out!as I particularly hate it)
3. Adel-Head (also a sibling favorite)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My hair. Sometimes.Most of the time, it is too time consuming to get to look right.. so I settle for convenient.
2. My smile.
3. My ears(not too horribly big).

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My height.(tooo short)
2. My shyness(wish I was more of a people person)
3. My inability to tan- just burn.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Scottish
2. French
3. German

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. The electricity going out at work- when it does, its so pitch black in there you don't dare move + you start to wonder what to do if it doesn't come back on.
2. Big dogs. Well, average sized ones too, they just don't tend to like me very much.
3. Nypos. (nightime hypos)

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My ipod
2. My insulin pump
3. Chocolate Milk.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. blue tshirt
2. white jean shorts
3. one inside-out, cotton sock

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE MUSICALS:
1. The King and I
2. Oklahoma
3. Annie


THREE OF YOUR [sort of current] FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Something Beautiful- Newsboys
2. Burn for You-Toby Mac
3.Pass the Flame-(No clue)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Love
2. Respect
3. Trust

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE:
1. Waterfalls
2. A chilled bottle of diet coke, for the sole D in the group
3. A neat,organized individual(opposites attract..)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Collecting Red Cross memorabalia.
2. Crosstitch.
3. Writing down stupid license plate names.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Sign the contract(or whatever) on the place that took 2 weekends to finally find/agree on, so I can get on with planning the rest of the wedding!
2. Be at the 2007 FFL conferance- and the joint Disney World vacation. (so, so bad-will I make it till then?)
3. Find my cellphone charger.

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Nursing.
2. Stay-at-home-Super-Mom
3. Journalist

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Niagra Falls
2. The Swiss Alps
3. Australia

THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Jason
2. Jesse
3. Melody

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. See a cure for diabetes.
2. Stop biting my fingernails.
3. Finish my degree.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1.I've been thinking about future kid's names since before time...and have the lists (dating from the early 90's) to prove it.
2. I cry at every single movie(in a theator), no matter what it is.
3. I like to shop.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I'd rather eat, then cook.
2. I like firearms, and target practice. Not sure I could ever be in law enforcement though.
3. I don't read manuels, even if I have no clue how to put something together. I prefer trial/error.

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Noah Wyle.
2. George Clooney.
3. Brad Pitt.

Blurred Yellow: A Morning With a Surgeon

Five minutes down the road, my insulin pump beeping out a cheery "Low Resevoir" alarm, I pull into the gas station to check my pump.
0.1 units remaining. Capitol UGH.

I need gas, so I take care of that first. Check blood glucose. 466 mg/dl.

Darn it, I'm going to be late...

Back up shot of 8 units, as there doesn't seem to be any spare resevoirs in my car. No time to go home + grab a new one. Got to get to the 4 month eye followup.

The eye clinic, is, as usual, crowded to the gills + though I'm 2 minutes early, it hardly matters when the docs are running behind so much. 20 minutes, tops, before I can even get registered.

Register, go back to seat.

At least the other wait is much shorter. 10 minutes, and Resident Wonderful calls me back.

"So, how have you been doing?"

"Ok."

He looks at my chart, asks me some questions. I can tell from his expression that he thinks I have Very High Matenience Patient emblazoned all over me + there's no way in heck he'll be tampering with my case.
There are too many horrible factors.

Standard checks. Up,down,left,right. Charts.Glasses on. Glasses off. Goes out.

My surgeon comes in, does some more preliminaries.

Assistant comes in. Drops, pressure, out to waiting room. Back to testing room. Green/Red goggles for Hess Test-all too familiar by now.

Back to waiting room. Back to exam room. Surgeon comes in.
"Although the left superior oblique is doing very well(thanks to Surgery #1) your left lateral rectus is still overshooting and that's why you've still got the right quadrant doubling. Thing is, we can't just go in and trim up the left lateral rectus because it's not as versatile as the other muscle. If you had that corrected,you know the risks. Your decision- it's your eye."

I stare at my surgeon, FRICK he can't be serious. Of course, they told me (pre-surgery #1) that anything was possible but I'd hoped,as it was doing better, that I would not have to come back to this place(ever, I guess-and eye wise, not for a year).

Seems it is not to be. It is regressing too much on the right side. Back to the OR it is. Diabetes wise- my eyes are just great + everyother wise, its just such a tangled web.

Vanilla Zero- Color Me Happy

I've tried Zero..and Cherry Zero(hey, it doesn't take much to please this palate) but gosh darn it, I just love it when a previously undiscovered (or new) flavor makes it to this part of the world. It's soooo good.
(in my opinion)

Grass Green: Color My Yard Sale

The grass was freshly mowed.














The stash of Diet/Regular Mt.Dews stood by the door, throughly chilled and ready for human (and cat? but this isn't mine, adorable photo though) consumption.




















And the morning 72 mg/dl had been improved upon, by a horribly un-D-friendly Tastycake cupcake. (it was good,though..)

Fortuanatly, I hadn't yet set up the vast majority of my items(just the tables + a fan), it had rained the night previously. The tabletops were soaked, and had to be dryed off.

An hour of predawn preperation- dragging/carring everything across the street, setting up in the big parking lot (people tend to ignore you, if you're not in a highly visable spot + that wasn't a chance I was going to take this year. Need other people around.)

My mom showed up to help me organize- put ice/drinks in coolers, set up stuff.

As soon as it was really light- they (the early morning crowd) showed up in droves, intent on getting the best deals possible.

I keep an eye on the big guy raffling through my extra glucose moniter collection-he's been there awhile. In fact, its the 2nd time he's been there, and back again.

"$10 for the whole box?"

If I'd have been drinking anything, it most certainly would have shot out my nose. Heck, no- there are two Ultras,1 Ultrasmart,1 Ascensia,and 1 Aviva in that box, all New in Package. (CVS deals + freebies) All glucose moniters should be cheap, but not that cheap + I think its priced pretty conservativly at $2-$5 each already. My level of altruism doesn't extend that far- I did have to pay for the gas to go get these + I think I should be reimbursed for that.

"Uh, NO. They're worth $75 each."

The guy knows that- and grunts, as he moves back to study the box again. There's no way he wants 5 glucose moniters just to moniter his own D, he's looking to resell some of them.

His wife is already one of my favorite customers, cleaning up a good $25 worth of stuff.

"Ok, this one." He pulls out the Ascensia.
Thank goodness he made a decision.
(plus,I thought I'd have to give that particular one away. Who uses Ascensia any more?)

The morning progresses, and the crowds keep coming, cleaning out my stash of candles/dvds/B&BWorks items/drinks/miscellanious. I go down the street, and find some more junk(to replete what I got rid of,haha), lug it back to the house(it weighs a ton, craft stuff). Should have had it delivered- its only half a mile away!
Bg afterwords- 213.
An hour later, as I'm walking in the opposite direction, its low. I duck into the VFW post, buy a hotdog, and set my basal down to 0.0. Hot weather certainly works wonders on high blood sugars.Take a hotdog back to my mom.
By 12:30, the crowds are pretty much gone + its time to pack up.
Bg: 71. Rip off pump in frustrated exaustion, go take nap.
5:30 PM- wake up from nap. 325. No surprise there, that's what happens when you're off the pump for 4 hours. At least its a change from being low.
Very productive day, cleared several hundred $$'s. If only my blood sugars were as wonderful. I overestimated some things(such as the number of drinks people would buy)so now I've got a bunch of regular drinks(in addition to diet) that I'll have to find normal people to drink them...Two Ultras also remain. There was a fire fighter looking at them,but he didn't buy any(it isn't the protocal meter anyway).

The Me (Meme)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
If I was a celebrity- I'd have to have makeup on, even in jail.

2. How much cash do you have on you? Cash? you must be joking..

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? de-jour. As in, some weird French word that I have absolutely no clue what it means.

4. Favorite planet? Mars. I have an ongoing interest in the place my fiance is from.

5. Who is the first person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
My cellphone provider, reminding me of my due bill.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Got this phone(a month ago) and I haven't even personalized my ring tones to my contact list! So I can't say I've got a favorite.(yet)

7. What shirt are you wearing? sleeveless blue cotton, in keeping with the 95 degrees + haven't yet had the ac put back in my windowsill theme.

8. Do you label yourself? yes, but "diabetic" is not
really one of my favorites.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: White Stag sneakers.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Dark room. It's easier to catch a nap.

11. Why is there always a missing question?
Because human beings aren't perfect.

12. What does your watch look like?
I don't wear a watch. (usually) I've got a pump w/ has a perfectly functioning timepiece.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night? chatting.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
Sorry, your code is invalid. Please resubmit to Coke Rewards.

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Less then 1/2 a mile away. And its a favorite hangout.

16. What's a word that you say a lot? Oh-kay.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last? My fiance.:-)

18. Last furry thing you touched? The moldy thing growing in my refridgerator-(that I throughly cleaned out today, yay me!) it reminded me of a giant dust bunny. And it left a trail of green slime, as it dragged against the kitchen floor/porch. So after cleaning the 'fridge, I had to scrub the floor.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Two. And only one was the injectable kind.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
None, but I do have 1,132 digital photos that I need to sort through/upload/order online before this computer kicks the dust.

21. Favorite age you have been so far? 15. (pre-D)

22. Your worst enemy? people who stress me out.

23. What is your current desktop picture? My fiance.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone? Yep, I'll be there. 5 AM, baby.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? A million bucks. I'm with Kerri- I'm not really into flying.

26. Do you like someone? yeah, I like alot of people.

27. The last song you listened to? Basics of Life/4Him.

28. What time of day were you born?
12:47 AM,on the first of September. Just narrowly missed being an August baby.

29. What's your favorite number? 98. It's a pretty versatile number-bodytemp, blood sugar, room temp wise. And if you've lived that long, that's pretty cool too.

30. Where did you live in 1987? Jackson,MS, I was in the first grade.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
people who smoke like a chimney + still live to 110.

32. Is anyone jealous of you? several people at my job, who would love to get married + up & quit theirs...

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
At work, bemoaning the state of my alternator-fried vehicle.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
A. Scream at it.
B. Go back to table, to acquire more change.
C. Fill out refund request.
(this usually happens at work)

35. Do you consider yourself kind? In most respects, yes. Everyone has bad days though.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? Probably on my left shoulder.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Spanish.

38. Would you move for the person you loved? I'm about to do just that. (move to the ends of the earth...)

39. Are you touchy-feely?
no

40. What's your life motto?

If life hands you lemons, make lemonade + swap with someone who's life has handed them vodka.

41. Name three things you have on you at all times:
(usually) my pump
Medical ID
my engagement ring

42. What's your favorite town/city?
I love Washington DC- but then again, I haven't been very many places.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
paper towels at Target.And I didn't pass out this time.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
A looooooooong time ago.

45. Can you change the oil on a car? Yes.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That he has a better job, but not any luck in the S.O. department.

47. How far back do you know your ancestry?
1066 A.D. One ancestor came over with William the Conquorer, to clean up Merry Old England.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? For my sister's wedding, I wore this pink dress.(and pink is really not me)

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? just my head, because its so hot outside.

50. Have you ever been burned by love?
Been there, done it, got the tshirt.

51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers? heck yeah, but I don't think they're blogging anymore. (joint blog, by three resident doctors)

52. Where would you like to live? Every place has its advantages/disadvantages, and I haven't figured out where that might be.

Sheet White: X Marks the Spot

I am tired, so very tired, standing in the Target checkout line. And getting progressevly lower, though I don't believe I'm all that low. Just need a little something to pep me up, get me through checkout, and over to my parent's house for supper. Temp basal is already set on 0.0 for an hour.

No Peeps.

No juice.

No glucose tablets.

I grab the package of Reese's Pieces off the shelf, rip them open, and eat them, determined not to repeat the gas station incident.

The cashier scans my items + wades through my stack of coupons(which, predictably, will not scan). She is telling me something.

I want to sit down. I need to sit down. Now. To heck with groceries and coupons and nosey cashiers. So I slump down against the counter + start to shake. Stupid low.

The lady behind me (in the checkout) is talking to me. "I saw your insulin pump, are you low?"

I don't ask how she knows that. I'm just grateful that she does.

"Yes."

"You ate some candy-do you need anything else?" "No,I'll be ok." "Want me to call the squad?" "No, it'll be ok in a few minutes."

"Drink this."

Pepsi, real Pepsi. Automatically swallow, spill, repeat. Lay down. As with many of my lows, it gets worse before it gets better. Apethetic daze time.

Pepsi is slowly kicking in when the squad shows up on the scene.

"Hey, Heidi. Open your eyes. It's Ike."

"I didn't know she was diabetic." (Another familiar voice)

Squad buds.(dude,those were the good old days) Back when I had time to do stuff like that. Back before life got so busy.

"Low, huh?"

"Yeah." I'm so shaky, I'm not convinced my blood sugar has gone up much. Some InstaGlucose might just do the trick.
In the ambulance, a bg check rings in at 109.

"Still think you're low?"

"Yes."

"You know yourself better then this meter. Have a tube of glucose." Suck it dry.
"Another?" "Yes." Suck 2nd tube dry.
Bg check=118.

"I think we better go to a dextrose drip." He puts it in. "Cold?"
"No."(I'm always this shaky when I'm recovering from a major hypo)

Get to ER. Blood glucose after (more) juice, supper, and 3 hours...

401 mg/dl.

Do I feel stupid now, or what- why is it, by the time you get to the ER your blood sugar is normal again.(soon to be high) Of course, you don't know that it is going to go up but most eventually do. Sigh. Five minutes being seen by the ER doctor("We'll keep an eye on you/you're fine") and 15 being berated by ER nurse #2 for crimping the tubing("You're an EMT, you should know better!") I utterly despise ER's. I will never work in one. (as a nurse)

Got home, got to sleep, and had another low at 12 AM. I was working my way through a jar of peanuts when it occured to me that I might be low, better check. 53. Time for more juice. Back to the 300's again this morning, I need to get this smoothed out.
(*Note to insurance company: See why I need a CGMS????*)

Dark Blue: Color me Lonely

Two ships on a stormy sea

Two D's in a city of normal pancreas people)















Flash their mirrors

(Recognize each other by their same brand insulin pumps)


A beacon of safety + trust

(Karma, period.Eventually, you'll finally run into some one who gets it)


In this tumultuos storm

(High, low, high, low- will it ever end?)


Going down again

(Low again?)


But nothing will sink this old ship.

(I'd trust you, even more then an MD-Paramedic)


-------------
Ok, I admit, I don't get out much. No support groups for type 1's/pumpers around here (by "around here", I'm referring to the Endocrine group in the city, and even that is a nice little drive, much less back here in Smallville, USA) and I've seen another type 1 precisely twice.(around here, not pumpers)Although my endo is also a type 1, she's all doctor(doesn't talk about herself any, I wish she would) Although I'm sure they do exist. I see the names scrawled into the syringe purchase book, whenever I have to buy backup syringes + some of them are probably type 1's. Doctors are the only people who know lots of type 1's.
Which explains why I go a little nuts when I come in contact with another type 1.

CVS parking lot, 6 pm. I'm in my car, they're getting back into their car and I catch a glimpse of their clipped on gadget- it suddenly registers that said device is NOT a cellphone. Nope. It's a blue Deltec Cozmo, in the black plastic-less case(exactly what I've got).
WOW....
As I'm digesting this shocking scene, they drive away. No chance that I'll get to throw myself on them, thanking them profusely for reaffirming my hopes that this town isn't quite as backward as I'd previously believed. I'm not the only one with class around here.

Where I'm moving, diabetes support groups abound- and that will be something to get used to. (a good used to,though)