The Top Twelve Indicators that Your Diabetes Control is Sub-optimal(aka, sucks)

Top 12 indicators that your diabetes control sucks
1. You know every member of the rescue squad by name.
2. Hospital food tastes good, you've gotten used to it.
3. Your blood sugar meter has gotten quite friendly of late as it greets you with frequent "HI's.”
4. Your blood sugar meter goes on strike and refuses to work anymore.
5. You never have any money- it all goes to co-payments to your health insurance company.
6. Your endocrinologist uses you as a "reverse" poster child an example of what every diabetic should NOT be.
7. You break down bawling when your endocrinologist asks how you've been.
8. You can't remember what it feels like to have a normal blood sugar and not crash low 15 min. later.
9. You are checking out medical center's pancreas transplant programs like normal people research for the car of their dreams.
10. You'd give your right arm to have a day that type 2's consider "bad". (6- 10 mmol/l, aka 108- 180 sounds just fine to ME)
11. You know your Medic Alert number like your social security number and can recite it frontwards, backwards, + while waking up from a massive hypoglycemic event.
12. The local convenience store apologizes for being out of chocolate bars. (you are their most loyal customer)

All of my bgs for the past 2 days have been over 350, and there have been 3 HI's(over 600) in the past week. Needless to say, I canceled my scheduled endocrine appointment + don't think I should reschedule till I have a month of solid good numbers under my belt to offset the impending disastrous a1c. I think, at some point,my pcp will communicate with the endo + there will be heck to pay but right now, I really don't even FEEL like being a good diabetic.(I'll settle for under 200)

The Dark Side

Deep, dreamless sleep.
Abrupt ascent back towards reality...
I was thinking about oxygen,and it's over already?

"You're awake,c'mon, let's get a sugar."
Darn. How do they always know?
Can't a person catch a few more ZZ's?
Ok, 357. Infusion set is probably dead,
as I bolused a correction prior to surgery.
Request 5 units IV,
which isn't a major deal(Anesthesiologist quickly approves)

I'll never join the dark side, never!!!!!
"It is your destiny- especially if you keep running blood sugars like that,"
Darth Surgeon drily remarks.
I want to say something, like shut up you idiot..I just had surgery, what do you expect?
but I think my (listening)parent would be overly shocked/horrified if I said that. Besides, it's not nice to insult the person who just did surgery on you, even if it's true.
Open eye. "Surgery isn't exactly conducive to normal blood sugars, you know."
That was ok, just the right touch of overt sarcasm mixed with the stinging overlay of truth. And really not that rude, either...
"Yes, but if you go on like that, etc...."
I've heard enough, time to tune out. Close eye. Everyone's an expert in Endocrinology. If
you think you can do better, you're more then welcome to get a pancreotomy and see what
a total joyride diabetes is.

4 PM-Clinic time, time for the grand ripping off of the patch.
And, wow. Never seen that before, door and wall melt into one fantastic 3-D image. The door is covering the entire wall-yet it is on top of it. I was expecting something of the sort, so its not overly freaky.
"Ok, we've got that wayyy overcorrected, I see." Adjust a few stitches.

Things are looking straight again. Stagger off for an eye test, just to make sure things are good before the surgeon cuts the stitches. Pass eye test. Come out of test room, fall face first onto carpet. Maybe its the anesthesia that's making me so loopy, but stuff is periodically doubling every few feet + I'm not used to this. I'm ok, just dizzy. Get transported to exam room + scowling resident checks my blood pressure. "You're fine." I don't think he enjoys checking blood pressures.
Surgeon comes back in. Resident holds me down, while surgeon sets to work adjusting the stitches. The drops + tears flood down my face, run down the back of my throat, numbing my tongue, while it's tie, snip, and adjust to the perfect specifications. Cataract surgery was such a cakewalk, this is so differant. Surgeon says stuff might still double off/and on for the next few days, thats normal.
Geez. It's finally over. Finally, finally over. Eye is doing ok, the last of the anesthestics have exited my system + my blood sugars are (kind of)back on earth. I wasn't back to work the day after,though. I need to wear sunglasses-coworkers have been asking me A. who beat me up and B. do I have pinkeye. It isn't looking too pretty yet.
And why do Endocrine appointments always seem to fall on highly atypical blood sugar weeks?
(Either you've got really awesome #'s, or everything is complete crud + you're asking yourself where the heck you begin with it all..)
I don't wanna go, but I guess I gotta.