In 12 years, I had only asked the question of ultimate trust one time (to a non-family member-family members have given me some,& my husband does know how to give one) It was directed to my then-EMT boyfriend(my blood sugar was under 10 mg/dl, & I was hysterically convinced that I would soon die) and he said no.Who knows why...nerves,perhaps.Or the legality of the situation.It did not matter,I was both annoyed(to the nth degree) and scared & crushed,that question of trust had been thrown back into my face & ultimately,that helped in the breakup.If you cannot trust someone completely,you have no business being together.(and I used to be an EMT & in my section of the universe,heck yes they give them.I know he knew how)
So when I asked my clinical instructor if she would be willing to administer "the shot", it was with a great deal of fear & trepidation. She said yes.(she's an ER nurse,heck yeah she knows what to do in an emergency) I ran through the basics,& what I'd be like(in such a situation). But then a dept wide email circulated RE school policy in such a situation & it was advised just to call 911,not to get involved.
Crushed,that's what I was. I dunno why it feels so important that I have someone on my side,but it felt like that trust I'd just given out for the 2nd time in 12.5 years didn't mean squat,again.Of course my clinical instructor was sympathetic but she couldn't go against dept policy. So back I went to talk to the dept head,& she said in actuality,the instructor could do as they wished-call 911 or give the shot/call 911,the schools liability insurance would cover either way. I wouldn't ever sue but there is liability insurance for everything,these days.
I am relieved..so,so relieved. I thought the school really didn't care if I lived or died,& I don't have the attitude that it's anyone's responsibility to do this..only someone I think would care enough to do so. When my clinical instructor said sure,I thought that to be the case.(she's pretty great) I have worked a retail job & in 7.5 years,never trusted anyone there (even good friends) with that burden.(said person has to be somewhat knowledgeable about medical matters) I think part of the deal here lately has to do with the lability of my blood sugars,& my desire to stay closer to 100 then to the 250's of yesteryears. A blood sugar monitor is also not always handy..like it was at my old job. You can't very well crack the meter open in the middle of a procedure.(plus you have to wash your hands a billion times a day)
I hope to never need it(on the job)but it's so wonderful to have that piece of mind.(Bgs have been all over the map lately & it may come to pass,that I need one) I need to feel safe,& more then anything else,this decision has greatly influenced that. I don't think I'm going to be having this conversation with all my clinical professors but in this rotation,I never needed that reassurance more.(nursing home in the middle of nowhere)
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