Dr. Jekyl and Miss Hyde

Into each life some rain must fall, some days must be dark and dreary-Emily Dickinson

I'm going to get a reputation as the blogger who will just not shut up about lows, that's for sure. But that's the current chapter in my life.

A D's Wish:

#1 When I shake, I need you to hold me.

#2 When I'm guzzling down fluids like I'm vacationing in Death Valley, I need you to pick up an extra 24 pack of Diet Coke at the grocery store.

#3 When I'm broke, I need a night in shining armour to chip in to cover medical supplies.

#4 When I sleep, I need to know that you'll make sure I wake up in the morning.

#5 When my a1c comes back smokin' awesome, I need someone to help me celebrate. (Someday,somehow..)

#6 When I cry, I need a shoulder to do it on.

#7 When I run, I need someone keeping pace beside me, all the way.

#8 When I eat, I need a non-judgemental human calculator, computing the carb-insulin-exercise-illness
ratio with the finesse of a nuclear physicist.

#9 When I test, and blood spurts sideways all over the computer keyboard, I need someone to see the humor in it all.

#10 And when I dream, I will dream of you..and know that a so/spouse would be one of the greatest gifts a PWD could ask for.

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The Insulin Challenge
(or, how low can you go)

Earned a brief reprieve over the weekend, got a cold + didn't see a number under 200. Till yesterday. They'rrree back. I guess I am fortuante,if it weren't for the cold it would be worse.

Everyone has rough patches in their D-journey but at some point, you've got to pick up the phone + ask the powers that be for advice.

The response was fast.Surprisingly fast.(Chalk one up for my endo!) One hour later:

"Tell me what's going on."

"I've got lows,neverending lows, they just won't quit.This has gone on 1.5 weeks."

"When are most of them?"

"Morning-afternoon. Cut my basal down."

"What is it?"

"0.05 from 11-5 pm. Lunch bolus usually 3-5 units."

A deep pause on the other end of the line. "That's really low-practically nothing."

"Used to be 0.3, but I was having lows that wouldn't stop so I cut it to that."

We discuss it, and agree on a plan of action. Cut lunch bolus in half, cut overnight basals down. Blood thyroid,kidney tests. Going from there, another appointment to come in.

Meanwhile, I check, keep my hypo stash on hand, and try to keep above water. I wonder where it is going-what's happening-and whether this is going to get me some stupid new diagnosis that I do not want. I wonder what kind of shape you have to be in before the insurance company would spring for a CGMS. And I wonder if its time to give up a portion of my fierce independance(aka ask someone to check up on me)so I don't die in bed. This not the time for pride. There is no night in shining armour, and I must lessen those sources of stress in other practical ways.I'll make it through but I wish it weren't so scary.