The One that Wasn't

In retrospect, I knew it would probably happen. School stress, D-stress, pregnancy stress, concurrent Endo appt. (when did that ever turn out well?)

Regardless of that fact, my a1c rang in at 6.5...a marked 0.4 improvement. (not that I expected my Endo to go all gaga over over it, because true to form, she didn't). But what happened next put the icing on the cake.

"Well, you knew what you were getting yourself into (suck it up)." (really lady? that's all you've got to say,& thank you very much,not that I regret said choice,but it's the first time in my life that I've been 27 weeks,hugely insulin resistant,25 excess lbs,and I don't really think anyone "knows" what they're getting into). And then she went on to tell me such additional goodies as how every day in this 9 month stretch mattered,you can never redo it,if you screw up the kid its permanant, blahblahblah at which point I completely lost it.

I burst into tears, which I don't think I've ever done in a doctor's office before. (not even being diagnosed with diabetes did that) There's only so much blame a person can take,and you can pretty much 1/2 that when you're pregnant. (and thank you very much, I have enough blame to last me every single day of my life, it doesn't need to be coming from you.) After that, she toned it down a little bit (remarking drily that my blood glucose, in office, was 296 (OF COURSE IT IS,YOU'VE JUST PUT IT THERE but no additional comments (and at that point, I would have walked out the door and not come back,I was that upset). Why is it that doctors feel the need to tell you what you already know? I'm not here because I've got this crap figured out, I'm here because I NEED HELP & SUPPORT. Which clearly I wasn't getting from her.

So yeah,that appt. was not the greatest. She did try to be slightly more sensitive after that,but the remarks she made left a permanant scar on my already tender psyche. I don't know if I can forgive her, much less go back to her, after that.

I then went forth, spent several hours getting it out of my system, complained on Twitter, took a nap, called a friend, and feel much better now.
Thank goodness for the D-Community,because no one else truly gets it.