Phases

I have type 1 diabetes, & my islet cells don't work worth two beans.Or do they?

If you were to measure my c-peptide,it would be non-existent, at 0.0 mmol. I know this,because with diabetes research studies,they are always measuring c-peptides...and as mine goes,it is always non-existent.(some long-term type 1's still do retain a slight production) Researchers theorize that producing insulin may have protective powers against the crazy high-low destructive variability(that is type 1, in a nutshell) So much for any protection for me (should that be true)

But there are times,not related to exercise,illness,temperature,or the phase of the moon...when I could swear that my pancreas is doing something.And when it begins,the lows just go on and on and on(seemingly unending).

Last night was such a night. 95 at supper(a zillion carbs of spaghetti), 65 by the end of supper. Bolused half(because of the low),and waited for the pasta factor to just hit en masse. 45 minutes after supper...70.Ate some candy. 30 minutes after that...72. Ate 16 grams glucose tabs. 30 minutes after that...55.And so on,till about 10 pm,when,sick of eating,I cut off my basal rate for an hour,& threw the big guns(chocolate milk) at it.11 pm-76.Cut off my rate for another hour,had another cup of chocolate milk & prayed that it would work because the next step would have been experimenting with mini-glucagon dosing to try to avoid going to the ER. I was scared that it wouldn't work,but 3 hours later I awoke to a lovely 296 which I bolused half of what I normally would(1.5 units) effectively knocking it down to 106 this morning. I think I probably ate around 300 carbs last night,it was absolutely insane.Rarely does my mind go to the "what if this doesn't work?" scenario,& it makes me realize that I have absolutely no plan(aka "panic-free") way of handling something like this(mainly because it very rarely happens) I have had days where I'd have 7-8 lows a day,because of whatever wackiness was going on,but it was a controlled chaos,& I could keep on top of it. There was nothing controlled about last night...never in my life has a bolus of 2.5 units(plus 1.5 basal) done that. People think that insulin production is a wonderful thing, a dream that they'd give anything to see again but I am not so sure,in the context of T1 diabetes it is just a major pain in the butt. You'd have to figure out just how much less insulin you need(and no answers are forthcoming from said pancreas as to how much it's producing). The world of diabetes is not cut and dried(as to what can/will happen),& more then anything, I just want stability. I'd rather take a relatively consistent amount of insulin & have great control then little insulin & be crashing every five seconds.(of course, I'd much rather just not have D in the first place but that's not one of the options)

I hate diabetes.


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