#Dbloopers: The One that Never Was

Diabetes bloopers - Wednesday 5/11: Whether you or your loved one are newly diagnosed or have been dealing with diabetes for a while, you probably realize that things can (and will) go wrong. But sometimes the things that go wrong aren’t stressful - instead sometimes they are downright funny! Go ahead and share your Diabetes Blooper - your “I can’t believe I did that" moment - your big “D-oh” - and let’s all have a good laugh together!!

When I was a teenager, & still going to the pediatric diabetes clinic of Major University Hospital, I looked forward to receiving their periodic "progress reports" post appointment. These Reports would be mini-summaries of everything that had been reviewed at said appointment,and more importantly,would contain The A1c & of course I was dying to know that. It would always take them 3-5 weeks to get The Reports sent out.(hundreds of kids seen each in clinic,you can see why it took so long) There were no instant a1c analyzers in those days, & waiting(for it to show up in the mailbox) was a burden that had to be born.


So anyway, on that spring day in June(2001), when said report finally did arrive(1 month later), I ripped open the envelope in eagerness, wanting to see what my a1c(post pump-start) would be. I flipped to the last page, where "10.2" greeted me (in all it's glory).

"WhaaaaaaaaaTTT?" I muttered crossly, & pitched the paper to the floor. "No way!!!"

(I've had bad a1c's before,but nowhere close to 10+!)

Picked it back up, to see whatever "love notes"(such as,noncompliant teenager refuses to obey instructions) had been written about me.


Read.

Read some more.

Each report was completely anonymous, & written in the 3rd person...much like a medical record. (no names) But when I got to the 2nd page, & read "he" the lightbulb went off for me...this wasn't my report. They'd mixed mine up with someone else's. Thank goodness, because I sure didn't want to be the owner of that a1c.


So I picked up the phone,& called about it.


"Yes, we must have mixed it up. Can you please disregard it(too late,I've read it) and send it back to us...your a1c was 7.4."

"Oh yes,yes, yesssss! I got in The 7.5 Club!" I danced around the room,impervious to what the secretary was thinking about me(at that point in time) I didn't care, I was a D-Star!

The 7.5 club was all the people who had gotten under a 7.5, and their names(while not being inscribed in bronze, were still recorded in the quarterly diabetes magazine...and out of hundreds of patients, there were probably only 100 who made it in there. A select few were in there every time, & they were like the straight A students that annoy the stuffing out of you,they're so perfect) It was my goal in life to get into the 7.5 club...and I'd managed to do so before I had to move on from the pediatric clinic.(I was already too old,& needed to cut the ties before hitting 20) Thanks to pumping,I'd done it.(I would not get that low again in a long,long time)

So this wasn't my particular "D-Blooper," but it was the one that had the happiest ending.(I never loved a mistake MORE then I did at that moment,nothing like going from despair to euphoria in 2.5 seconds)

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