You are a very young teenager,newly dx'd with type 1 diabetes...freshman year of high school. You're at that age where you act like it doesn't matter,it's no big deal & yeah talking about it?not gonna happen.(Not that anyone has any idea of how to go about this) Your mother passed away from T1 diabetes,soon after giving birth. The family dynamics is a complete cataclysmic shroud of mystery. Time heals many wounds,but there are some it does not. Perhaps your family is involved emotionally with your care,perhaps not but the practitioner treating your D is definitely not,because insulin changes are minuscule & insufficient for an adolescent.
This is school nursing,in the trenches. So many things that you can't do a thing about...so many unfair things in this world.(as it is for many things but some situations really get to you.) Virtually every school has type 1 students,& the school nurse has to work with whatever plan has been set in place,even if that plan really isn't working.
*this blog post is HIPAA complient-name,age, & sex of individual not being stated*
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Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
Tsunami
I don't know what to say.
Failure is crash wave over me right now,& I can't breathe. Or think. The problem is the nursing school tests..they are so,so hard & I'm not doing well. 72,67. There are two more tests to go & I have to pull off a 76 average. I want to believe that I can, I study myself into a coma, ask my profs for help.
Not helping. I am so scared that I will fail...& then what? I've never done anything career-wise with my life that I could be proud of, & I wanted this..so badly. Yeah I guess there are plenty of other things but you don't get 3/4 of the way through a program to just fail,without taking things majorly hard. I cannot let myself think about failure, much less deal with that whole can of worms.(prematurely)
All I can do is breathe, & try to find my way back to the top. Focus on the next test, & try to understand everything that could possibly be on it.
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Failure is crash wave over me right now,& I can't breathe. Or think. The problem is the nursing school tests..they are so,so hard & I'm not doing well. 72,67. There are two more tests to go & I have to pull off a 76 average. I want to believe that I can, I study myself into a coma, ask my profs for help.
Not helping. I am so scared that I will fail...& then what? I've never done anything career-wise with my life that I could be proud of, & I wanted this..so badly. Yeah I guess there are plenty of other things but you don't get 3/4 of the way through a program to just fail,without taking things majorly hard. I cannot let myself think about failure, much less deal with that whole can of worms.(prematurely)
All I can do is breathe, & try to find my way back to the top. Focus on the next test, & try to understand everything that could possibly be on it.
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Saturday, February 09, 2013
They Cometh
"Do you know how very,very lucky you are?" my instructor gushed. "This is a wonderful opportunity to influence the nursing school process."
Luck,admittedly, is not the first thing that came to my mind.(more like:no absolute WAY am I getting involved in this) And what is this?you ask? "That" is upcoming visit by the National (RN) Accreditation Committee, slated to drop into town Tues/Wed of next week. One day at the hospital,one day at the college. They are here,to check up on our program/interview students & faculty,& basically ensure that we are learning what we are supposed to be learning. They come around every 8 years,hence the "lucky" part. (its a 2 year program)If you are at the hospital,they attach themselves like leeches & follow you into patients rooms,etc.(no pressure,right?) They are a million times worse then the Joint Commission.(that also comes around periodically to harass people)
Fortuently, I will not be at the hospital while they are there...unfortuently,my instructor has to be at the college for interviews so she is cutting short the hospital day & the whole clinical group has to go back to the college to participate in the interviews. UGH. I have no desire to be involved in the program process, these interviews consist of questions like "How do you feel the college has equipped you in meeting the core competencies?" (Uh what-thr only thing I feel equipped for is the ability to get through a 2.5 hour lecture) Questions that actually involve studying(prior to) what the heck they are talking about so that you don't look like a complete idiot. As you can imagine,our instructors A. want us to be enthusiastically involved and B.want us to say good things about the program to make them look good. Now yes,there are a lot of good things about this program but there are things that aren't that I might want to say too. I'm not sure that they want to listen to me complain about the program though. And I am not the mover & the shaker that they should be talking to.(there's one of those sitting in the front row every day)
Mandatory interviews..oh boy. Scary,gut-wrenching, mind-numbing,interviews. I hope the questions aren't hard.
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Luck,admittedly, is not the first thing that came to my mind.(more like:no absolute WAY am I getting involved in this) And what is this?you ask? "That" is upcoming visit by the National (RN) Accreditation Committee, slated to drop into town Tues/Wed of next week. One day at the hospital,one day at the college. They are here,to check up on our program/interview students & faculty,& basically ensure that we are learning what we are supposed to be learning. They come around every 8 years,hence the "lucky" part. (its a 2 year program)If you are at the hospital,they attach themselves like leeches & follow you into patients rooms,etc.(no pressure,right?) They are a million times worse then the Joint Commission.(that also comes around periodically to harass people)
Fortuently, I will not be at the hospital while they are there...unfortuently,my instructor has to be at the college for interviews so she is cutting short the hospital day & the whole clinical group has to go back to the college to participate in the interviews. UGH. I have no desire to be involved in the program process, these interviews consist of questions like "How do you feel the college has equipped you in meeting the core competencies?" (Uh what-thr only thing I feel equipped for is the ability to get through a 2.5 hour lecture) Questions that actually involve studying(prior to) what the heck they are talking about so that you don't look like a complete idiot. As you can imagine,our instructors A. want us to be enthusiastically involved and B.want us to say good things about the program to make them look good. Now yes,there are a lot of good things about this program but there are things that aren't that I might want to say too. I'm not sure that they want to listen to me complain about the program though. And I am not the mover & the shaker that they should be talking to.(there's one of those sitting in the front row every day)
Mandatory interviews..oh boy. Scary,gut-wrenching, mind-numbing,interviews. I hope the questions aren't hard.
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Thursday, February 07, 2013
Gray Days
It's been a rough 1.2 weeks. Begun,of course, with a sore throat & a mild cough,moved to the runny nose, followed by the 101 degree fevers & the addition of some hard core throat pain, losing my taste on Super Bowl Sunday,(I did not go to the party & how sad is that,when the whole of Baltimore was stark Raven mad?Methinks it may never happen again ) The cough set in & Sunday night I probably got two hours of sleep. Monday I went to the doc & they gave me codeine syrup & an antibiotic for my "sinus infection." Sinus infection-really? Yep,within a day my head felt like a literal bomb & the discharge turned a disgusting color. Fever went away,the cough/pressure/pain continued. I don't know if it's a particular nasty bug,or a side effect of the codeine but then came the retching diaries. Cough-cough-cough-retch-retch-cough-breathe. My backup Zofran helped a lot in that regard, but I think I should have a lot more of it in hand. The appetite is at a big fat zero,since eating solids forces my throat into a coughing/retching paramoxeam.(I guess I need to lose some weight,but not like this) So I've been living off juice,yogurt, Boost,Gatorade,pudding,applesauce. It's not that bad when you can't taste but man, I crave real food. Blood sugars are anyone's guess,& since I've taken so much Tylenol my CGM is kind of useless(little processor chip=blown). At nights,when the coughing doesn't stop & I feel like my lungs are going to explode I question whether I can go on,should I drop out of this nursing school course,rest up & try again? I've spent alot of time in bed this week,have not studied at all, barely survived my hospital day & community health 1/2 day & shown up late to 2 lectures, failed a math exam(my "failure" was the result of stupid rounding rules, I got the right answers but still failed the thing) Kept telling myself that this is the worst of it & better days are around the corner.I would have dropped out from necessity if I'd had to be in the hospital,(impossible to make up missed days)but here I am,hopelessly disorganised me,fighting to stay alive.(& afloat)
TGIF.(tomorrow) I have a weekend to do some studying for the first test,& to feel a tad bit better.(& today has been slightly better, I can breathe through my nose again) The J-baby & the hubby got mild colds/coughs,nothing like I got.(& I'm glad of that,but my hubby always claims its because he takes Zicam so religiously at the first hint of anything respiratory,while I think it's just good luck on his part,& being a Mommy Germ Magnet on my part)
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TGIF.(tomorrow) I have a weekend to do some studying for the first test,& to feel a tad bit better.(& today has been slightly better, I can breathe through my nose again) The J-baby & the hubby got mild colds/coughs,nothing like I got.(& I'm glad of that,but my hubby always claims its because he takes Zicam so religiously at the first hint of anything respiratory,while I think it's just good luck on his part,& being a Mommy Germ Magnet on my part)
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Saturday, January 26, 2013
Once, We Were Juniors
The 3rd Semester.
Pediatrics, Med Surg II.2 8-week courses, but in reality, it feels like years since we were scared little nursing school"freshies." We have survived Nursing 120, 121,122,OB, Medical Surgical I.(some of us more then once) After Medical Surgical, any and all courses may just feel like a breath of fresh air. We have a swagger in our step & a new-found confidence that really,really was not there last semester. IV's do not scare us, dying simulator modules have taught us lessons best left un-repeated on actual patients. One day(very soon), some of us may yet walk across that stage & be "pinned" into that profession that each of us strives for. We struggle across the spectrum, we see friends fail out & wonder if it will be us. We have babies & surgeries & family emergencies & personal difficulties. We stay up late,get up early, eat insane amounts of chocolate,pray that our clinical instructors will be rational human beings & beat ourselves (mentally) up for not picking the other (right) answer on the impossibly hard exams. We cry with our patients & for our patients & for ourselves & about that 5 letter word of a clinical instructor. Yet some things scare us still..chief among them being released one day to practice solo,sans instructor hand-holding.
And yet, time marches on & one day, even junior-Dom will seem like such a distant memory.
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Pediatrics, Med Surg II.2 8-week courses, but in reality, it feels like years since we were scared little nursing school"freshies." We have survived Nursing 120, 121,122,OB, Medical Surgical I.(some of us more then once) After Medical Surgical, any and all courses may just feel like a breath of fresh air. We have a swagger in our step & a new-found confidence that really,really was not there last semester. IV's do not scare us, dying simulator modules have taught us lessons best left un-repeated on actual patients. One day(very soon), some of us may yet walk across that stage & be "pinned" into that profession that each of us strives for. We struggle across the spectrum, we see friends fail out & wonder if it will be us. We have babies & surgeries & family emergencies & personal difficulties. We stay up late,get up early, eat insane amounts of chocolate,pray that our clinical instructors will be rational human beings & beat ourselves (mentally) up for not picking the other (right) answer on the impossibly hard exams. We cry with our patients & for our patients & for ourselves & about that 5 letter word of a clinical instructor. Yet some things scare us still..chief among them being released one day to practice solo,sans instructor hand-holding.
And yet, time marches on & one day, even junior-Dom will seem like such a distant memory.
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Thursday, January 24, 2013
The Fear
When I was 14, my immune system started down its deep,dark path toward permanent dysfunction. It started with a bump,a small red itchy bump that turned into dozens & dozens of bumps in a raised rash that marched up my left arm, across the left side of my chest,down my left armpit & across my back. And then those bumps swelled up,with a yellowish disgusting gunk..to the point of bursting. At that point,convinced that I had cancer, I told my parents & they took me to the doctor.
The diagnosis was immeadiete & straightforward.
"You have the shingles."
Isn't that something older people get? Well,yes, but anyone who has had the good old fashioned chicken pox can go on to get the shingles. Babies can get the shingles. Rare of course,but entirely possible. Of course,being an 80's child I'd done the chicken pox party thing & gotten chicken pox at the age of 6, no big deal. Only my immune system thought it was a HUGE DEAL & up popped the shingles,all these years later.
So, they gave me this antiviral med & told me NOT TO TOUCH MY FACE & basically,it took several months of the most intense itching pain I have ever known for it to subside(& a year for the scars to clear). Every night, I'd wake up screaming from the searing,all over body pain.(usually dreaming something gruesome) But it did get better,eventually.
And then diabetes came to call. I was 16 years old when the symptoms began, & it would be 6 months before it would put my very sick self in the hospital.
I tend to think all these pieces are related,& the shingles was just the icing on the proverbial cake. I am from a family of 6 kids, & I am the only one to get the shingles/and diabetes. None of my siblings or their kids have had them. For me,getting chicken pox led to even worse things.
"Would you like to get your child the chicken pox vaccine today?"
I know that vaccines do NOT lead to getting the disease,but the varicella immunization is a live vaccination,meaning that they can get a mild form of the disease . Although no where near as serious as the full blown disease, it's still mighty uncomfortable for the kiddo.
He's 12 months old, & although I certainly believe in getting a kid vaccinated for the major stuff I said no to this. I don't think 12 months is old enough to handle it.(& what if he has my crappy genetics?) I want him to have a long,healthy life,& I don't want diabetes to mar any part of it;& if he should get diabetes, I don't want to get it as a small child(& if that means no "questionable" vaccines while really young,so be it.
"No."
The pediatrician looked up,surprised. (as previously mentioned, he's gotten all his previous immunizations) "You realize that we'll keep asking you about this(specific immunization every visit)
Yes I realize that, but I also think that this vaccination is relatively "new" on the market & I have an obligation to my child to do what I think is best for him, even if you do think I'm a radical,conspiracy-theorist nutjob of a parent. I do want what's best for him..even if you can't see it.
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The diagnosis was immeadiete & straightforward.
"You have the shingles."
Isn't that something older people get? Well,yes, but anyone who has had the good old fashioned chicken pox can go on to get the shingles. Babies can get the shingles. Rare of course,but entirely possible. Of course,being an 80's child I'd done the chicken pox party thing & gotten chicken pox at the age of 6, no big deal. Only my immune system thought it was a HUGE DEAL & up popped the shingles,all these years later.
So, they gave me this antiviral med & told me NOT TO TOUCH MY FACE & basically,it took several months of the most intense itching pain I have ever known for it to subside(& a year for the scars to clear). Every night, I'd wake up screaming from the searing,all over body pain.(usually dreaming something gruesome) But it did get better,eventually.
And then diabetes came to call. I was 16 years old when the symptoms began, & it would be 6 months before it would put my very sick self in the hospital.
I tend to think all these pieces are related,& the shingles was just the icing on the proverbial cake. I am from a family of 6 kids, & I am the only one to get the shingles/and diabetes. None of my siblings or their kids have had them. For me,getting chicken pox led to even worse things.
"Would you like to get your child the chicken pox vaccine today?"
I know that vaccines do NOT lead to getting the disease,but the varicella immunization is a live vaccination,meaning that they can get a mild form of the disease . Although no where near as serious as the full blown disease, it's still mighty uncomfortable for the kiddo.
He's 12 months old, & although I certainly believe in getting a kid vaccinated for the major stuff I said no to this. I don't think 12 months is old enough to handle it.(& what if he has my crappy genetics?) I want him to have a long,healthy life,& I don't want diabetes to mar any part of it;& if he should get diabetes, I don't want to get it as a small child(& if that means no "questionable" vaccines while really young,so be it.
"No."
The pediatrician looked up,surprised. (as previously mentioned, he's gotten all his previous immunizations) "You realize that we'll keep asking you about this(specific immunization every visit)
Yes I realize that, but I also think that this vaccination is relatively "new" on the market & I have an obligation to my child to do what I think is best for him, even if you do think I'm a radical,conspiracy-theorist nutjob of a parent. I do want what's best for him..even if you can't see it.
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Thursday, January 17, 2013
48 Questions
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No. My parents were disagreeing over what to name me, and "Heidi" won out over Genevieve and Mary.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Two days ago,as I was watching the 2nd-to-last-EVER episode of "Private Practice." I shall miss that show.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yeah. It is uniquely mine...a mix of printing,cursive,and a self-improvement course I had to take in the 90's.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Honey Ham..yum! But I'll eat anything.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, & he's the world's cutest toddler. (formerly the world's cutest baby) He is smart, opininated, and knows exactly what he wants in life. And he's a hugger.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably not. I am shy,and an introvert. I have a few good friends but I am not the life of the party. But if you are my friend,I think I am a good one.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Yes.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
No. I had them out in 2009 because I kept getting strep throat. It was a level of pain that I never want to experience again, but I'm glad that I got them out.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
No. I am not a fan of heights.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Sunbelt Granola...or Lucky Charms!
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No. I'm too lazy.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
When I have to be. I think that physically, I'm a wimp.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Butter pecan.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their face.
15. RED OR PINK?
Red. I'm not a girly-girl.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I'm too naive,& I wish I were better at assessing people/situations.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
My grandma(mom's mom), she passed away in 2001.
18. WHAT IS THE TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
Getting myself & the kid out of the house on time.(to get wherever we're going)
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
I'm wearing brown boots.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Peanuts. I love any kind of nut.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Nothing.
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Burnt Sienna. I'm a pretty plain,non-stand-outish, person.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
-the hand sanatizers in Target bathrooms.
-Bath and Body Works hand soaps
-baking bread!
24. HOW IMPORTANT ARE YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS TO YOU?
Very important. If you (are a citizen,&) don't cast a vote, you don't have any right to complain about how the country is going to the dogs.
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach house. LOVE THE BEACH.
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football, but I don't watch a whole lot of sports..got other stuff to do with my life.
27. HAIR COLOR?
Brownish-gold.
28. EYE COLOR?
Blue-ish grey.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nope, I wear reading glasses.
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Anything cooked by someone else. I don't really like to cook.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy Endings. And I'll cry over it.(inevetibly)
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Breaking Dawn.(part II) #vampirelove
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
blue/white
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Fall...and then summer.
35. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Pecan pie.
36. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
I'm in need of both.
37. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Computer.
38. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Lady Almina & the Real Downton Abbey. I am obsessed with British nobility.
39. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
It's a lake scene with a snow-capped mountain in the background.
40. FAVORITE SOUND?
the fizz of a diet coke can
41. FAVORITE GENRE OF MUSIC?
I don't really have a favorite, I listen to most anything.
42. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Hawaii I guess. In the opposite direction, the UK/Denmark.
43. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can balance 25 checkers on the edge of another checker.
44. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Harrisonburg, Virginia.
45. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Maryland.
46. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
Puke yellow.
47. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
Rust. It used to be gold...but time marches on.
48. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 48 QUESTIONS?
Sure, they were thought-provoking questions.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
The Toddler Years
Babies are like potato chips.
It's hard to stop at just 1. My baby just had his first birthday recently...and hugely enjoyed smearing his cake all over himself,& me. Babies are sweet,sweet,sweet & after some time has passed..& they grow older, you start to get all nostalgic about the all too fleeting days of babyhood & you want that back. You've pretty much blocked out the hell that a diabetic pregnancy entails.(& plus,my kid has slept through the night since 3 months old..he's a good baby) Plus,you make rationalizing arguments that the kid needs a sibling,& we need a mini-van anyway... darn you,biological clock,do you not know that diabetes & pregnancy is not a friendly combination? The average number of kids for women with D is 2.4, I think I read somewhere. And each pregnancy is like a Kate Middleton-sized event...highly scrutinized by at least a dozen people.
No, we are not planning on having another one anytime soon. But time is blurring the line "never again!" to "maybe again."
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It's hard to stop at just 1. My baby just had his first birthday recently...and hugely enjoyed smearing his cake all over himself,& me. Babies are sweet,sweet,sweet & after some time has passed..& they grow older, you start to get all nostalgic about the all too fleeting days of babyhood & you want that back. You've pretty much blocked out the hell that a diabetic pregnancy entails.(& plus,my kid has slept through the night since 3 months old..he's a good baby) Plus,you make rationalizing arguments that the kid needs a sibling,& we need a mini-van anyway... darn you,biological clock,do you not know that diabetes & pregnancy is not a friendly combination? The average number of kids for women with D is 2.4, I think I read somewhere. And each pregnancy is like a Kate Middleton-sized event...highly scrutinized by at least a dozen people.
No, we are not planning on having another one anytime soon. But time is blurring the line "never again!" to "maybe again."
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Monday, January 14, 2013
Silence
Close your eyes
listen to the silence
the fizz of the Diet Coke can
the tiny,slumbering puffs from a sleeping babe
the BEEEEP of a Dexcom
the space heater,roaring
the scraping of ice
the ploploplop of marshmallows
the sweat,the sweat
the slurrrrrrp of a juice box
the dropping of a meter
A 911 call
Jackboots in the hallway
the shriek of an ambulance
retching violently
Silence and Diabetes
Are not compatible.
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listen to the silence
the fizz of the Diet Coke can
the tiny,slumbering puffs from a sleeping babe
the BEEEEP of a Dexcom
the space heater,roaring
the scraping of ice
the ploploplop of marshmallows
the sweat,the sweat
the slurrrrrrp of a juice box
the dropping of a meter
A 911 call
Jackboots in the hallway
the shriek of an ambulance
retching violently
Silence and Diabetes
Are not compatible.
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Friday, January 11, 2013
Dear DOC
I know you. We may live 2 or 15,000 miles apart...& may have never met, but I know you. We share playlists on Spotify,coo over baby/dog pictures on Instagram, share our A1C results on Facebook, tweet about the minutiae of our everyday lives on Twitter,entertain each other on YouTube & tell each other what to make for dinner via Pinterest. A conversation begun on one medium is continued on the next. Though we crisscross the globe, we are all connected via that disease we share...namely, diabetes. We are teachers,business people,entrepreneurs, librarians, doctors,nurses, a thousand different professions. We are parents,lovers, siblings,children,grandparents,aunts/uncles.We might have the same insulin pump,meter,pen,CGM,insulin,mode of blood sugar management.We swap 'Betes tips with or without the approval of our health care providers. We are soldiers on the front line of the diabetes wars, and the tools/weapons at our disposal are improving,year by year.(and yet,innocent people still are dying) We tell each other the stuff our families may get sick of hearing..there is always a listening,non-judgemental ear to hear us out. We give each other supplies (in hard times), because we care about each other. We see each other at our best, and at the worst, when the a1c is 6.0 and when it's 11.0. Cities on the map aren't just strange places anymore..they hold very awesome PWD(& those who support them ). We run marathons,write books,chase toddlers, climb mountains, pursue careers, & bolus that piece of chocolate cake into euroglycemic perfection.
Some might say I don't know you,& yet I say that I do. Thank you for being there.
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Some might say I don't know you,& yet I say that I do. Thank you for being there.
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Friday, January 04, 2013
Towards 2013: A Bullet List
Ah, 2013. A New Year...full of hopes & resolutions. Some people do 'em,some don't. I do, because I like to attempt to improve my personal habits..even if I fail.(to try & to fail is to better to have never tried at all) I want 2013 to be my year..& I want it to be others too. Here are some of my hopes for the coming year.
1. I want to get my thyroid back in whack (still hypo)& my health back.( whatever that was) I've had recent issues with heartburn & difficulty swallowing, for which I just had an EGD done(biopsy results pending,normal appearing mucosa, a medium sized hiatal hernia)Diabetes related gastroparesis is,of course,a possibility.(next step if biopsies are normal are motility studies) Apparently hiatal hernias are pretty common in the general population & not the cause of my swallowing problems.(& not operable unless they are huge)
Every afternoon, from 3-7 pm I'm plagued with low blood sugars(requiring about 4-5 good sized juice boxes) & I'd really like 2013 not to be in a hypoglycemic stupor, staring at the baby & wondering if his first word(beyond mama/dada/nana) will be "lo!" I'd like to lose some weight, but mostly I'd just like to be healthy & functional.
2. I want to purge my diabetes supply closet & either use, or give away, most of my insulin pump supplies. (Believe it or not,that stuff does have an expiration date) It's not doing me any good just sitting in there, & I'm too in love with my Omnipod to go back. So the supplies must go. I'm also giving away my 7+ & several non-expired sensors,whenever I find someone in dire straits who doesn't have any insurance (or limited) to give it to. I would prefer to actually semi-"know/have met"the person,hence the reason I didn't ship them off a long time ago to someone (nameless)on Facebook.I will keep a box or so of supplies, as backup to my Animas in case my Omnipod dies.I feel guilty how much D-crap I've got,sometimes.
3. Speaking of Omnipod...I'm very much looking forward to their upgrade arriving.(rumor has it,in late February) Their redesigned PDM & much smaller pods look totally sweeeeeet.
4. School wise, I want to finish nursing school. I feel like that is a big "?", with so many health issues as of late, but it would be such an amazing accomplishment for 2013. It's also going to be my "Sweet 15" betes versary & what better excuse for a celebratory party can you have?(the non-D people need a valid reason to come) I want this year to be a period, not a question mark,in my life.
5. And in the personal habits category, I am going to start keeping a record of all my expenses. I'm so unorganized that I usually have no idea where I put a particular receipt, or just how much I spent on Diet Coke or diapers last year. I'm going to get a ledger & start keeping records.
6. D-meetups... I hope to have a few of these as well. (Friends for Life,etc.) Always a highlight in my year.
7. And the last one, circumstances permitting, I'd really like to be in the outpatient trials of the Artificial Pancreas going on this year. It's been a few years since I was involved. The research coordinator said there's a strong possibility that another phase will open up this year,& I'm on the list of people they'd contact so cross fingers that it happens. I NEED A MACHINE TO RELIEVE ME OF MY PANCRE-OTING DUTIES. (it would also be kinda nice to spend an entire 2 days in some hotel bed,watching TV, & have a little break from parenting as well. Judge me as you will.)
What are some of your hopes & resolutions?
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1. I want to get my thyroid back in whack (still hypo)& my health back.( whatever that was) I've had recent issues with heartburn & difficulty swallowing, for which I just had an EGD done(biopsy results pending,normal appearing mucosa, a medium sized hiatal hernia)Diabetes related gastroparesis is,of course,a possibility.(next step if biopsies are normal are motility studies) Apparently hiatal hernias are pretty common in the general population & not the cause of my swallowing problems.(& not operable unless they are huge)
Every afternoon, from 3-7 pm I'm plagued with low blood sugars(requiring about 4-5 good sized juice boxes) & I'd really like 2013 not to be in a hypoglycemic stupor, staring at the baby & wondering if his first word(beyond mama/dada/nana) will be "lo!" I'd like to lose some weight, but mostly I'd just like to be healthy & functional.
2. I want to purge my diabetes supply closet & either use, or give away, most of my insulin pump supplies. (Believe it or not,that stuff does have an expiration date) It's not doing me any good just sitting in there, & I'm too in love with my Omnipod to go back. So the supplies must go. I'm also giving away my 7+ & several non-expired sensors,whenever I find someone in dire straits who doesn't have any insurance (or limited) to give it to. I would prefer to actually semi-"know/have met"the person,hence the reason I didn't ship them off a long time ago to someone (nameless)on Facebook.I will keep a box or so of supplies, as backup to my Animas in case my Omnipod dies.I feel guilty how much D-crap I've got,sometimes.
3. Speaking of Omnipod...I'm very much looking forward to their upgrade arriving.(rumor has it,in late February) Their redesigned PDM & much smaller pods look totally sweeeeeet.
4. School wise, I want to finish nursing school. I feel like that is a big "?", with so many health issues as of late, but it would be such an amazing accomplishment for 2013. It's also going to be my "Sweet 15" betes versary & what better excuse for a celebratory party can you have?(the non-D people need a valid reason to come) I want this year to be a period, not a question mark,in my life.
5. And in the personal habits category, I am going to start keeping a record of all my expenses. I'm so unorganized that I usually have no idea where I put a particular receipt, or just how much I spent on Diet Coke or diapers last year. I'm going to get a ledger & start keeping records.
6. D-meetups... I hope to have a few of these as well. (Friends for Life,etc.) Always a highlight in my year.
7. And the last one, circumstances permitting, I'd really like to be in the outpatient trials of the Artificial Pancreas going on this year. It's been a few years since I was involved. The research coordinator said there's a strong possibility that another phase will open up this year,& I'm on the list of people they'd contact so cross fingers that it happens. I NEED A MACHINE TO RELIEVE ME OF MY PANCRE-OTING DUTIES. (it would also be kinda nice to spend an entire 2 days in some hotel bed,watching TV, & have a little break from parenting as well. Judge me as you will.)
What are some of your hopes & resolutions?
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Sunday, December 23, 2012
Towards 2013 (Part 1)
We're here in California,doing the semi-annual Christmas w/the other side. The day of travelling to get out here was nothing,if not interesting. The shuttle guy came 1/2 hour early, so we were rushing to finalize getting everything & everyone out of the house & the car seat installed in the shuttle van. And then we drove about a mile way & just SAT there waiting, for about 45 minutes.( he wasn't due to pick them up for another hour,but thought they'd be ready) They weren't, so we just sat there till he decided to go pick up the other passenger about 10 minutes away,& then come back. It was about 1 hr & 50 min.before our flight was scheduled to take off,& we still weren't enroute to the airport. The other family had a infant as well, so that van was pretty packed. Got to the airport with about an hour to go,rushed through security (it's kind of nice to have a baby,because they don't make me go through the scanner or patdown) ,& had just enough time to grab a sandwich from McD's & do a bathroom run before it was time to board. The baby did his hyperactive squirm/twist/bounce/grab/drop/scream for about 40 minutes then fell asleep for about 45 (layed out on both of ours laps) then woke up as we landed in Charlotte,NC. Had a wet diaper which soaked through his pants & mine,so when we got off the plane it was off to do damage control on that. And then it was literally time to board the next flight to LA..didn't have time to grab a meal for the plane. This plane ride was pure horribleness as he screamed for about 4 hrs(of the 5.5). Nothing appeased him,he wanted to get down & play. I suppose the only good thing about it was that someone switched seats with me so that at least the hubby & I could sit together..it was a 2 person job. Various well-meaning people would stop by,ooh and ah,& tell me my darling angel would fall asleep soon. (Just stop...you do not know this child) Gahhhh,nope. I did not use Benadryl,but I will on the flight back. Eventually,we got into LA(fun fact: my ears hurt like heck & my too-short-to-reach-the-floor legs were about to fall off) found the rental car place,drove around for what seemed like hours to get to our hotel in the Valley(East Coast Time: 1:30 AM) while the baby woke back up & started screaming & my earnest husband bought me a Gatorade(not diet:bg 3 hours later was 398) & it was just not a fun trip out here.
We're here though,& my husband's mom is enjoying seeing her grandchild again. I am thoroughly sick of people dishing out baby advice though.
Merry Christmas,one & all! (Should I not post again for several days) It is nice to actually see the sun again...in MD you don't.
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We're here though,& my husband's mom is enjoying seeing her grandchild again. I am thoroughly sick of people dishing out baby advice though.
Merry Christmas,one & all! (Should I not post again for several days) It is nice to actually see the sun again...in MD you don't.
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Wednesday, December 12, 2012
The Dream
Last night (or rather, this morning), immeadiently proceeding my "fell asleep in clinicals, got kicked out of nursing school" nightmare...I dreamed The Dream. You know, the one where we all get cured & all that jazz. I don't often dream The Dream (but when I do, it never comes courtesy of a needle) & what triggered it, no one ever knows. (maybe because I've been thinking so much about diabetes lately, my 14th diaversary was on Monday) Here's how The Dream went down.
We're outside of a stadium, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly a group of reporters (& quite possibly, every type 1 in the world) made a mad dash for the stadium,because there was going to be some huge announcement. It was pandomonium. People were crying, laughing, screaming, hugging each other(while oddly, trying to stampede each other to death to be first in line) & it was like the end of a war..it just gave you the warm fuzzies all over. And then they played the video of how the Artificial Pancreas had been perfected enough to be THE REAL DEAL... a cure, a perfect cure. It was a joyous dream, & the fact that I didn't quite make it to getting one didn't matter (my Dexcom alarmed,waking me up & reminding me that my blood sugar had just gone over the high mark & I'd better do something about it NOW) & upon waking up,I still could savored that feeling for the briefest of moments. Then I got to thinking, when there ever is a cure that's probably how it will go down. (I don't necessarily think the AP will be it though) Only there will also be sadness, for the people who didn't live to see that cure.
For now, these moments are just dreams...but one day, they will be reality.
We're outside of a stadium, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly a group of reporters (& quite possibly, every type 1 in the world) made a mad dash for the stadium,because there was going to be some huge announcement. It was pandomonium. People were crying, laughing, screaming, hugging each other(while oddly, trying to stampede each other to death to be first in line) & it was like the end of a war..it just gave you the warm fuzzies all over. And then they played the video of how the Artificial Pancreas had been perfected enough to be THE REAL DEAL... a cure, a perfect cure. It was a joyous dream, & the fact that I didn't quite make it to getting one didn't matter (my Dexcom alarmed,waking me up & reminding me that my blood sugar had just gone over the high mark & I'd better do something about it NOW) & upon waking up,I still could savored that feeling for the briefest of moments. Then I got to thinking, when there ever is a cure that's probably how it will go down. (I don't necessarily think the AP will be it though) Only there will also be sadness, for the people who didn't live to see that cure.
For now, these moments are just dreams...but one day, they will be reality.
Saturday, December 01, 2012
A Letter from my Son: Dear Santa
Dear Santa,
I've been a good boy this year, truly I have. I was born, I ate/slept/pooped/grew into a whopping 20(!)+ lbs. I learned to crawl and to say "Mama" "Dada" and as of yet indistinguishable "gaaaa's" which clearly mean something, Mommy & Daddy just don't know yet.(parents are SO.CLUELESS...sigh) So this year, I've narrated a short Christmas wish list (forgive me, I don't know how to type just yet so Mommy is writing this)
#1
A big box, something like the above. This is one of my favorite "toys",because I can knock it down & chase it all over the kitchen floor, while Mommy is cooking supper. The actual blocks, eh they are so blahhhhhh in my baby world.
#2 A dolly with long, curly, golden hair. I've almost pulled all of Mommy's out by this point, and I need something else to yank on.
#3 A Bell. I totally dig the noises they make. Or pretty much anything dangerous or that makes noise, I am a fan of.
#4 A Cat Cage...so they can't take a swipe at me, every time I touch their tail(s) etc. They don't seem to like small humans like me. (what's up with that, we are AWESOME...)
And one last thing, Santa. I will leave you a plate of chocolate chip cookies (carb count: 29.7 carbs per piece) & your case of diet coke outside on the porch, otherwise Daddy or Mommy might get into them.
Yours Truly,
drools and hugs
the J-baby
I've been a good boy this year, truly I have. I was born, I ate/slept/pooped/grew into a whopping 20(!)+ lbs. I learned to crawl and to say "Mama" "Dada" and as of yet indistinguishable "gaaaa's" which clearly mean something, Mommy & Daddy just don't know yet.(parents are SO.CLUELESS...sigh) So this year, I've narrated a short Christmas wish list (forgive me, I don't know how to type just yet so Mommy is writing this)
#1
A big box, something like the above. This is one of my favorite "toys",because I can knock it down & chase it all over the kitchen floor, while Mommy is cooking supper. The actual blocks, eh they are so blahhhhhh in my baby world.
#2 A dolly with long, curly, golden hair. I've almost pulled all of Mommy's out by this point, and I need something else to yank on.
#3 A Bell. I totally dig the noises they make. Or pretty much anything dangerous or that makes noise, I am a fan of.
#4 A Cat Cage...so they can't take a swipe at me, every time I touch their tail(s) etc. They don't seem to like small humans like me. (what's up with that, we are AWESOME...)
And one last thing, Santa. I will leave you a plate of chocolate chip cookies (carb count: 29.7 carbs per piece) & your case of diet coke outside on the porch, otherwise Daddy or Mommy might get into them.
Yours Truly,
drools and hugs
the J-baby
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thankful
...for the little(& not so little) things in life...
- A snazzy new G4 Dexcom, which even though I had to drive 15 miles (to a store)because FedEx refused to drop it off without someone being present, is still a good thing. Opinion still being formed, but I think it's going to be really awesome for my (lack of) diabetes control.
Slapped a sensor on last night,after charging the receiver for three hours. Well,"slapped" being a rather mild version of what actually went down...more like flubbed attempt #1 (wasted sensor=scream at the sky)& taped the heck out of sensor #2, because if I didn't, they never stay in. I have learned that while inserting a sensor,if it hurts severely to pull back the needle/tape & try somewhere else,or it will turn into a blood bath. Mild pain means the goings still good. So,after poking around on my left thigh for 2-3 spots I finally found a good spot & stuck it in. Two hours after insertion,it was ready for calibration.(from there,it swung up & down all night..seems to be stabler today) Initial thoughts:it gets back on track MUCH faster then the Dex 7 (when calibrated). I love it's sleek,iPod-esque physique...& hate the case it came in.(useless snaps everywhere)
New boots. I've never been much of a boots person,but these were on sale for a mere $22 at Kmart & hot diggity,are they awesome. Perhaps they won't last a long time but they are comfy with that bit of flair & make me look much more fashion conscious then I actually am. I can't stop wearing 'em.
- For tissues,Tylenol, cough drops, & a hubby who will help out with the kiddo when I'm dying. Colds never really die in the household with a young child..they just get recycled and come back a month later. (see also,kids are still normal acting even when they are sick. Which is both good,& bad)
- A certain little guy is now starting to stand, & to pull himself up on stuff.(much to my relief, as he's been slightly delayed in reaching that milestone) And he now says "Mama" which totally wraps me around his little finger & makes me his slave for life. I could never get tired of hearing that, I don't think. It's usually in the context of wanting food(he loves to eat). In a couple of weeks, he may be able to get his helmet off(depending on the results of the head scan.)
And I'm thankful for all the normal stuff...friends,family, etc.I'm not thankful for diabetes, but I'm thankful for the fabulous folks that make up the DOC & I hope you & yours have a great holiday/weekend!
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- A snazzy new G4 Dexcom, which even though I had to drive 15 miles (to a store)because FedEx refused to drop it off without someone being present, is still a good thing. Opinion still being formed, but I think it's going to be really awesome for my (lack of) diabetes control.
Slapped a sensor on last night,after charging the receiver for three hours. Well,"slapped" being a rather mild version of what actually went down...more like flubbed attempt #1 (wasted sensor=scream at the sky)& taped the heck out of sensor #2, because if I didn't, they never stay in. I have learned that while inserting a sensor,if it hurts severely to pull back the needle/tape & try somewhere else,or it will turn into a blood bath. Mild pain means the goings still good. So,after poking around on my left thigh for 2-3 spots I finally found a good spot & stuck it in. Two hours after insertion,it was ready for calibration.(from there,it swung up & down all night..seems to be stabler today) Initial thoughts:it gets back on track MUCH faster then the Dex 7 (when calibrated). I love it's sleek,iPod-esque physique...& hate the case it came in.(useless snaps everywhere)
New boots. I've never been much of a boots person,but these were on sale for a mere $22 at Kmart & hot diggity,are they awesome. Perhaps they won't last a long time but they are comfy with that bit of flair & make me look much more fashion conscious then I actually am. I can't stop wearing 'em.
- For tissues,Tylenol, cough drops, & a hubby who will help out with the kiddo when I'm dying. Colds never really die in the household with a young child..they just get recycled and come back a month later. (see also,kids are still normal acting even when they are sick. Which is both good,& bad)
- A certain little guy is now starting to stand, & to pull himself up on stuff.(much to my relief, as he's been slightly delayed in reaching that milestone) And he now says "Mama" which totally wraps me around his little finger & makes me his slave for life. I could never get tired of hearing that, I don't think. It's usually in the context of wanting food(he loves to eat). In a couple of weeks, he may be able to get his helmet off(depending on the results of the head scan.)
And I'm thankful for all the normal stuff...friends,family, etc.I'm not thankful for diabetes, but I'm thankful for the fabulous folks that make up the DOC & I hope you & yours have a great holiday/weekend!
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Friday, November 02, 2012
Forgotten Afternoon
Apparently it involved glucose tabs, candy, & a rebound right up to where I was trying to get down from in the first place..cannot wait to get that G4...especially since I left my Dex 7 at my SIL's house & have been CGM-less for 5 days now. 2.5 hours of my life just blurred by. #WipeOutHypo
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Thursday, November 01, 2012
First
It was his first Halloween.
And in a way, mine too. Because my upbringing was such, that Halloween wasn't/isn't/shouldn't be ever celebrated..I never went trick-or-treating,etc. as a kid.(some may see that as deprivation but what you've never done, you don't miss.) When you've been taught something & consequently, never done something your entire life, change comes hard. (doing something you've always been taught is wrong feels like committing some horrible,horrible sin akin to murder) You've got to rethink things for yourself, & 98% of America isn't any help (as they've always done it too, Christians included). And basically I've come to a somewhat unsettled self-acceptance that for us, personally,some aspects of Halloween are harmless, (and this is not a reflection on what you, personally,think about it) & this includes trick-or-treating. It's basically kids & candy,and I don't see a problem with that. (although I take issue with the parts that are at odds with Christianity)I won't let him dress up as something that we feel to be wrong, & that's that. (my husband did go trick-or-treating as a kid,but both of us are in agreement on this matter. Anyway, I don't have any experience in this..but I dressed him up in a baby Ravens jersey, socks,onesie/pants/ his helmet/undereye black tape thingies (that all football players seem to wear), got a pail,and prepared to hit the neighborhood about 6:30'ish. Hurricane Sandy was kind to us, power stayed on and no trees smashed up our house/street so other then being damp/chilly, it was ok conditions.
Unfortuently, my blood sugars decided they didn't want to play nicely,& 2 minutes out of the house I started feeling low. Drank a juice box. (still low) Walked around the neighborhood,talking to the neighbors & showing off the cute bebe...still felt low, drank another juice box. Shot up to 250. When you are trick-or-treating with an infant,you get a bunch of blank stares & "Can he eat this?" as people try to figure out what is safe to give him (much like trick-or-treating with a child with diabetes, or celiac). The answer to that question is: "Everything's fine." (because Mommy/Daddy will be eating it all anyway). I guess we're all just moochers...but this is a first experience, not really all that interested in the candy anyway. (if people choose to give it, they should know whats the likely scenario as to how it will be consumed) 20 minutes later, walked back to the house...and yet another up-and-coming-potential low popped up on my meter(79). Hubby went to go do early voting,and I drank another juice box/ate some candy/drank another juice box/fed another bottle/changed-put baby to bed/checked blood sugar again (220)/checked blood sugar 1.5 hours later (130)/crashed into bed. Fun times in 'betesville that night. (however, I did include as part of the Big Blue Test, so somewhere, someone benefited from my bizarro blood sugar evening. He took it well,no major meltdowns beyond the initial being scared of the dark bit. (which dissapated after I held him for awhile)
(candy haul!)
(football fun!)
And in a way, mine too. Because my upbringing was such, that Halloween wasn't/isn't/shouldn't be ever celebrated..I never went trick-or-treating,etc. as a kid.(some may see that as deprivation but what you've never done, you don't miss.) When you've been taught something & consequently, never done something your entire life, change comes hard. (doing something you've always been taught is wrong feels like committing some horrible,horrible sin akin to murder) You've got to rethink things for yourself, & 98% of America isn't any help (as they've always done it too, Christians included). And basically I've come to a somewhat unsettled self-acceptance that for us, personally,some aspects of Halloween are harmless, (and this is not a reflection on what you, personally,think about it) & this includes trick-or-treating. It's basically kids & candy,and I don't see a problem with that. (although I take issue with the parts that are at odds with Christianity)I won't let him dress up as something that we feel to be wrong, & that's that. (my husband did go trick-or-treating as a kid,but both of us are in agreement on this matter. Anyway, I don't have any experience in this..but I dressed him up in a baby Ravens jersey, socks,onesie/pants/ his helmet/undereye black tape thingies (that all football players seem to wear), got a pail,and prepared to hit the neighborhood about 6:30'ish. Hurricane Sandy was kind to us, power stayed on and no trees smashed up our house/street so other then being damp/chilly, it was ok conditions.
Unfortuently, my blood sugars decided they didn't want to play nicely,& 2 minutes out of the house I started feeling low. Drank a juice box. (still low) Walked around the neighborhood,talking to the neighbors & showing off the cute bebe...still felt low, drank another juice box. Shot up to 250. When you are trick-or-treating with an infant,you get a bunch of blank stares & "Can he eat this?" as people try to figure out what is safe to give him (much like trick-or-treating with a child with diabetes, or celiac). The answer to that question is: "Everything's fine." (because Mommy/Daddy will be eating it all anyway). I guess we're all just moochers...but this is a first experience, not really all that interested in the candy anyway. (if people choose to give it, they should know whats the likely scenario as to how it will be consumed) 20 minutes later, walked back to the house...and yet another up-and-coming-potential low popped up on my meter(79). Hubby went to go do early voting,and I drank another juice box/ate some candy/drank another juice box/fed another bottle/changed-put baby to bed/checked blood sugar again (220)/checked blood sugar 1.5 hours later (130)/crashed into bed. Fun times in 'betesville that night. (however, I did include as part of the Big Blue Test, so somewhere, someone benefited from my bizarro blood sugar evening. He took it well,no major meltdowns beyond the initial being scared of the dark bit. (which dissapated after I held him for awhile)
(candy haul!)
(football fun!)
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Bulleted: Zombie Freebie & To Do Lists
- Home Depot's promotional Zombie Game gets you a $5,$10, and $15 coupons. (off of a $5+, $10+, and $15+ purchases respectively.) Yeah, your brain will be zombie-fied by the end of it..(tip: sign up for the lawn and garden club, you'll earn points twice as fast) but at max,it should only take an hour for you to get all the coupons. Anything "Lawn and Garden" isk at HD applies. (such as laundry/soap detergent,paper towels, toilet paper,cleaning supplies,tools, etc.) You can only use one coupon per purchase, but you can do multiple transactions. An hour for $30 of free stuff is worth it, in my book.
-And speaking of Zombie Brains, I'm still trying to un-zombie-fy mine from that whirlwind Medical-Surgical Nursing school course..so glad that's over. I get a breather before going back for Pediatrics, and I intend to put that time to good use. (first on the agenda:get my health back on track. Finally went to get my thyroid levels rechecked(something I should have done a month ago),I've put my Dexcom back on (on that note, I cannot WAIT for the new upgrade...they are sending me one free, even though I got a new system on August 25 & I thought I'd have to pay $399 for the upgrade),I'm trying to eat right & get my blood glucose levels out of the average of upper 200's. (nursing school is pure,un-adulturated,constant high blood sugar grade stress) Today, I'm going to my new nephrologist (I've seen him once before, in August),because of my Bartter's Syndrome & need for periodic magnesium infusions I had to get a new doc. (my old nephrologist retired) He's great,but he's a real stickler for patient appointments & TIMELY periodic updates. (as in every 3-4 months) He made that pretty clear at appt.#1 and there's no way I want to be fired by him, because finding a doctor who really understands that yes, I need that much magnesium mainlined via IV is practically impossible. (many docs will still try to tell you that you can just take it all orally) However, since my new doc knows my old doc & had all my records right there it would be pretty hard to say that, no, you don't need it. I also intend to get the house organized,have a yard sale, make several ambitious craft-sy Christmas gifts,and organize a first birthday party for one very cute little boy...so glad I've got the time to do it now! (maybe I'll even do NaPoBloMoMo..because I'm crazy like that)
(riding a pumpkin,on our weekend trip to a farm/pumpkin patch in NJ!)
-And speaking of Zombie Brains, I'm still trying to un-zombie-fy mine from that whirlwind Medical-Surgical Nursing school course..so glad that's over. I get a breather before going back for Pediatrics, and I intend to put that time to good use. (first on the agenda:get my health back on track. Finally went to get my thyroid levels rechecked(something I should have done a month ago),I've put my Dexcom back on (on that note, I cannot WAIT for the new upgrade...they are sending me one free, even though I got a new system on August 25 & I thought I'd have to pay $399 for the upgrade),I'm trying to eat right & get my blood glucose levels out of the average of upper 200's. (nursing school is pure,un-adulturated,constant high blood sugar grade stress) Today, I'm going to my new nephrologist (I've seen him once before, in August),because of my Bartter's Syndrome & need for periodic magnesium infusions I had to get a new doc. (my old nephrologist retired) He's great,but he's a real stickler for patient appointments & TIMELY periodic updates. (as in every 3-4 months) He made that pretty clear at appt.#1 and there's no way I want to be fired by him, because finding a doctor who really understands that yes, I need that much magnesium mainlined via IV is practically impossible. (many docs will still try to tell you that you can just take it all orally) However, since my new doc knows my old doc & had all my records right there it would be pretty hard to say that, no, you don't need it. I also intend to get the house organized,have a yard sale, make several ambitious craft-sy Christmas gifts,and organize a first birthday party for one very cute little boy...so glad I've got the time to do it now! (maybe I'll even do NaPoBloMoMo..because I'm crazy like that)
(riding a pumpkin,on our weekend trip to a farm/pumpkin patch in NJ!)
Monday, October 01, 2012
No D-Day: The Poop, The Scoop, & The Endless Loop
(just a few of the things that I have learned from being a mom)
#1 Baby poop comes in all colors of the rainbow.Its almost artistic...in a totally disgusting kind of way.(and that's probably all you want to hear about that)
#2 This should be #1...as it's the most important baby fact ever-WASH YOUR HANDS, PEOPLE. Being in nursing school, you have to get into the habit of washing your hands A. when entering the patient room B. when exiting the patient room C.anytime you think your hands are dirty D. before any sort of procedure and E. whenever you think your instructor is watching you out of the corner of your eye. There are hand washing spies, whose sole job is to lurk around & take polls of the rate of handwashing compliance. (which they post, for all the world to see) In the hospital,the biggest cause of nonsocomial infections(communicable) is not washing your hands, and it is a very,very, big deal. Since I wash my hands a zillion times a day anyway, as I'm always cleaning up poop/pee/spitup/drool & other "unmentionable" tasks...I am used to doing this. But it really turns you into an OCD freak. ("Ackkk! a speck of dirt, need to wash my hands STAT!")
#3 Plan for the worst,when you leave the house...there is no such thing as being over prepared.
#4 Babies gravitate toward the most dangerous item in the room. ("Electrical cords-those look like fun, let's go chew on them!") Cat just puked? let's go check it it out! Small piece of plastic wrap on the floor-why not put it in our mouth and freak Momma out! Seriously,safe toys are NO FUN. (in their world) Which is why I find myself trying to think up exciting, non-dangerous toys but to a teething, ravenous,crawling 9-month-old, there really is no such thing as a safe toy. Even rattles they stick the stick end in their mouth & its just like (Agggghhhhhhhh) trying to prevent them from injury. Double incentive toward keeping those floors vacuumed. (complete cleanliness was never this much of a need, before)
#5 Every baby should probably have a helmet...at the rate they bang their head on things. Glad that mine is already wearing one. (does double duty)
#6 Holy wow, do they grow. (and eat...constantly) At 9 months old, my little dude is 20 lbs & what feels like half the length of his crib already. (and has five teeth) He isn't very chunky, which concerns me (it seems like babies should have some sort of fat reserve) but the pediatrician assures me that he's within normal limits. (pardon my mommy brain, we always find "something" to worry about)Growing + happy=healthy baby, so I just need to chill out.
#7 Their first words will be "Da-da"...which they will repeat for hours on end,seemingly endlessly. (to the delight of the dad, and the consternation of the mom.)
#8 Babyhood is all too fleeting...& then I can learn all about parenting a toddler!
Monday, September 24, 2012
From the Files of a Nursing Student: Blue
It was kind of a lax weekend, and by "lax"...I mean that there were no looming tests on Monday. Not that this means that they're giving us a breather, because there's a paper due today. (fortunately for me, I have one from the previous attempt at this course, that was never graded & in my eyes, legit for round #2) Hubby is away on a business trip for 9 days, so it's me & the baby. Baby plus keeping up with this place (cats, laundry, etc.) has me so busy I'm really grateful that there isn't another test till next Monday.
Four weeks down. Four to go. On Thursday, after I took my hubby to the airport & ran to the grocery store & went home, a brief GI virus sidelined me for the rest of the day & I wasn't sure that I could drag myself around on Friday,but I felt marginally better by then. Took my cardio test & sat through 5 hours of GI lectures. I did very,very badly on the cardio test (but my average is still ok...still there's no excuse for it). I think it was a combo of feeling sub-par plus not being able to "think" it out plus total brain deadness on the math questions. I studied, I REALLY studied. Cardio is supposed to be the worst test though (other then the final) so I just need to concentrate on getting stellar grades for the 2 tests before the final. My mom is coming up to help me out for a few days this week, so that will be really helpful. (try lifesaving...she cooks me food,cleans,shops,helps with the baby. I don't know how she does it all,but she had six kids so I'm sure this is just minimal compared to back in the day) That comes with its own particular brand of stress,as she's of the opinion that the first few years of a child's life should be exclusively day-care free..let's just say that we disagree on that point. I don't think I'm emotionally scarring my child for life,& I do my best for my baby.(and I enjoy doing it,he's a good baby) He is happy,healthy, & loves people(everyone..not just his momma)in some respects I feel like the interaction is good for him as well.
Four weeks to go. (have I said that yet?feels like I've been in this course for-ev-er. At the end of this course, there's a break until Jan. because of a weird quirk in what course plan,cannot take a 3rd semester course right after a 2nd semester) I've discovered why the hospital freaks the sams hill out whenever there's a glucose value like say, 53 (or 284)...those values require follow up by the nurse & possible notification of the doctor. And if you're a tired OB, a blood glucose of 284 is likely to majorly annoy you.(especially if you have no clue how swing-ish a type 1's blood glucose can be, post-pregnancy(or pretty much any time) Their goal is to
ensure that there are no surgery complications and discharge you as soon as possible. (and diabetes kind of throws a wrench in that process)
I really think they go overkill on it,as a type 1 I do not need to see a diabetes educator every time my blood glucose goes outside of the range...but it's all very much CYA. But you've got to remember that the vast majority of PWD are type 2...and have stabl-er blood glucoses then type 1's. They often do well on sliding scales,& have residual insulin production to keep their bgs lower. However, that doesn't help me in figuring out what type they are if they are older,perhaps overweight,already have some complications,and are exclusively on insulin but were just diagnosed. (because that info isn't in the charts)Doesn't this information MATTER? (well,it does to me...apparently not to anyone else) Couldn't they try type 2 meds, or has there been any screening bloodwork for antibodies,and shouldn't they get education on counting carbs etc.etc.etc...when it comes to diabetes, I wish I had a clearer clinical picture then the one I get.
A FB friend of mine passed away last night, she was 31 years old, type 1, and had just had surgery. (we used to chat on a diabetes chat) It's so sad when things like this happen out of the blue,& the family is left to grieve. (so much of that around the DOC lately) 31 is too young to die. 40 is too young to die. Please keep those families in your thoughts & prayers. I guess I've just been going through a mini-midlife crises, one in which I've been learning (in depth) about hospitals (and the million & one things that can go wrong post surgery...clots & DVT's, heart attacks, strokes,etc) and being in my 30's, it's been a jolting realization that yes, young people have these problems too...especially PWD. Waiting till I'm 45 & in the CCU with a massive MI isn't going to do me any good,I really need to start improving my diet & exercise NOW. (regardless of cholesterol, people have heart attacks from other things) And women, especially young women, do not have a good prognosis post-heart attack. I don't want to leave behind my family just yet, I want my baby to have a mother & my hubby to have a wife. (for a good long while) Life doesn't feel very fair sometimes but its a heck of a lot fairer then to die of a complication, too young. That complication isn't always "D" related...blood clots can be a complication of any surgery, regardless of the diabetes. You can do your best to lead a healthy life with D..but things can still happen, outside of your control. I just wish there was a cure for diabetes though,because it breaks my heart every time I see a blue candle.
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