The Day the Thyroid Died

August 16, 2012.

"You're so hypothyroid I'm surprised you're still standing."

Coming from my Endo, I suppose that is high praise.(or something) I don't get a choice about the "functioning" bit...the baby has to eat, life has to go on (regardless of how I'd rather just stay in bed all day. But the funny thing is, I am relieved...relieved that there is a cause for my utter exhaustion/weight gain(yeah, 10 lbs)/digestive woes/highly labile blood sugars). You don't really want to mention these symptoms unless there is a cause,but when she started questioning me about them, yep I pretty much have most of those symptoms. It's kind of like before you're diagnosed with diabetes..feeling crappy feels like the way you've always felt, and you can't imagine feeling better.

Oh, and my a1c is 8.6. I think it's been about 8 years since I've had an a1c of that (non) caliber...pass me a gold star. (kidding) That's not entirely accurate, it's falsely elevated (from my hypothyroidism), a fact that I find a marginal bit of comfort in. ("Hey, I bet my a1c is really under 7...right?") My insurance company isn't covering in-office a1c's any more(the Endo office has just been doing them, and writing off the cost) but the Endo's office is now laying the law down..and I have to get them at the lab, the week prior to the visit. (in the future) So the fact that I paid $54.67 (out of pocket) to find out an horrendously crappy a1c is kind of amusing. I actually feel like of passe about that number..even if it really was 8.6,I'm not upset over it. I know things will get better, & when I have enough energy I can actually get them better.

So I started on Levothyroxine (50 mcg/a fairly low dose), and in a few weeks, will have thyroid levels rechecked.(and go from there-will probably have to get the dose adjusted upwards) I am feeling slightly more energetic,and I'm hoping as my body gets re-TSH-ized I can resume feeling like a human being.

I'm also going to try out the One Touch Verio...got freebie one at the Friends for Life conference and liked it, enough to the point where I'll order a three month test strip supply & see what it does for my control. I feel like the Freestyle does a pretty good job with mirroring my actual bg/symptoms feelings but people say the freestyle reads too low. I like the pattern spotting of the Verio, but I'm not wild about how much off it is (compared to the Freestyle). Getting used to it may be an insurmountable challenge. (I'm going to give it at least 3 months). (I'm not the only one with doubts about switching) I love my pod, and I don't want to switch to the Tandem (regardless of how cool it was...pod trumps all) but I also don't want to switch to the regular One Touch strips (when their new PDM comes out). I'll just test on another meter/enter that number into my PDM...I hate when the pump companies force you to change strips.(to be pump compatible) One Touch strips have not been as accurate as Freestyle...in my experience. (Yours may vary) Of course, One Touch Gold (for the Verio) may be an entirely different beast then the regular One Touch strips. And it may actually be a good thing for my a1c...the Verio strips tend to read high(er) then the Freestyle.

On, towards better days.

Nursing School: Take III

Yep, here I go again. Now with an adorable,active (almost crawling) little 7 month old...life doesn't slow down for anything.

The course in question is Medical Surgical (part 1)...and it's my third attempt. (the first attempt was a "drop out on the first day of class" affair and the 2nd,I thought I would be all SuperWomanish and do it all. Didn't work out like that & the icy,bitter shards of what went down is something I still can't talk about, even to my blog)

Third attempt. Last attempt. If I fail again,I'm out of the program. I believe that I can do this, but most of it will definitely be a mental journey (as I face some of the same individuals who did their very darnedest to make sure that I failed). Because I'm not an idiot,it wasn't the coursework that got me. There is one thing that I learned through this though,and that is that "trust" is not something to be given out lightly...I am too naive. Not all instructors are there because they want you to succeed. (Some are there just to collect a paycheck) Trust is mine,trust is not something I have to automatically give to you just because you have a string of credentials behind your name. These are lessons burned into my soul, trial by fire...still fresh from the experience.

Anyway...back to the whole "registering for school" deal. To be able to get accommodations, (aka taking tests in the testing center/being able to have food/glucose available/being able to treat highs, lows as needed) I have to go through the office of Disability Accommodations. I have to have said accommodations, or I'd get suspended for eating/suspected texting/etc. (the joys of diabetes, nu?it is is almost not worth the trouble & I wish I could just hide that I have it) So, right before the start of the new semester, I request a "renewal of accommodations" packet (through the school website) and then go to pick it up from their office. Inside that packet are three separate forms..each form is in triplicate. (white, yellow, pink)

Form #1 I take to the testing center, they sign, I sign, and they keep the yellow copy. I keep the pink copy, and return the white copy to the DSS office.

Form #2 is an instructor "memorandum" (more specifically,listing the exact accommodations needed(eat/drink in class, monitor bg,medical supplies present,1.5x time) to remind them that they have a student taking tests in the testing center, and they have to drop off a test there. (so I can take them) Instructor will sign, I will sign, they will keep the yellow copy, I will keep pink, and the white copy goes back to the DSS office.

Form #3 is the official course form/memorandum for the teacher's file. The instructor signs, I sign, and they keep the yellow copy, I keep the pink, and the white copy goes back to the DSS office.

The testing center is on the opposite side of the campus, which means that I'm usually missing half an hour(or more) of the lectures. Not that I mind, but while everyone else gets to take their test/go to lecture in the same place, I get to run around everywhere attempting to keep on track with everyone else. Yeah, this "Special Treatment" thing is not all fun and games. The lectures I could repeat in my sleep (by this point),and I'm hoping they'll use the same tests (the answers I think I'll have remembered) so that that part at least will be stress-free.

It's entirely possible to be a good mom/go to school at the same time...and I want this degree. I've been working towards this for 11+ years,and if it's not to be, it won't be because I didn't give it my all.

August Update

Life Update : Massively busy, full steam ahead.

I guess its been said (many, many times before) but babies tend to suck time out of the day like nothing else. 99% of your time goes to feeding, diapering, changing, cleaning, & making these small human beings healthy & happy.(and with some children, the "making happy" clause requires almost constant interaction) With the other 1% of your time, you attempt to do all the other tasks that life requires(feeding,laundering,etc.etc.one spouse),occasionally sleeping,and shoveling food into your mouth to keep going and that kind of leaves 0% of your time for other stuff...like say, blogging, or having a social life. (and diabetes care? Forgetaboutit)

And I'm going to be honest here,I have no clue how these people with 12+ kids do it (or parents of multiples). I feel like I'm living on the verge of meltdown...too many tasks,not enough energy to do it all.(yes, the spouse does help out but even with that its living life on the edge) I know it won't be this way forever,but right now I have next to no energy or motivation to do beyond the basics. Part of the issue may be my thyroid, which is doing its own version of mimicking a CGM (fluctuating between too high, and too low) sucking what energy I did have right down the black hole. My Endo calls this fluctuation "postpartum thyroiditis" and feels that it will burn itself out, in a few months. (in the meantime,just deal with it, princess.(my words...not hers. She's just giving it time, because most cases do eventually become more stable,aka go to hypo permanately)

Anyway,blood sugar wise all these fluctuating hormones haven't been too much of a disaster...my average has been pretty decent. I can't be assured of a better a1c, but I'm spending much less time at both hyper and hypo glycemia so all in all, I'm pretty happy with my D-management. (regardless of what this week's a1c will be) I just want life to settle down, the baby to become less demanding and to settle this thyroid mess so I can get back to feeling like a human being again. And maybe, just maybe,I will get more organized & want to get more fit (aka lose 10 extra baby lbs). If anti-depressant drugs are also involved in the process, I'm cool with that.(anyone who isn't depressed post-pregnancy has got to already be taking anti-depressants, what with what's involved)

Cross fingers.

7 Month Letter

Dear J-Baby,

Today you are 7 months old...and the theme for this past month has been "have arms/legs, will roll." Rolling is something you already do quite well,gone are the days of putting you on the bed unsupervised. Yes, you've fallen off=massive Mommy guilt (babies are faster then the speed of light)& so its down to the floor for you. Incedentily, you don't stay on the floor blanket either...prefering to roll around to all corners of the room, seeking the most dangerous,dirty objects to attempt to put in your mouth/tip over/etc.(hence the need for constant supervision)You don't crawl yet, but you're scootching yourself up on your knees and doing a little belly flop with a great sigh of exasperation. (it's coming,perhaps not fast enough for you, though)

This past month, you've acquired two bottom teeth...and a helmet, to correct your plagiocephaly (head asymmetry). Despite having physical therapy for a few months, the head asymmetry is pretty severe (& getting worse) which for some babies, is the case. The helmet has to be worn 23 hours a day (for about 12 weeks).(to shape the growth of the skull) In this hot weather, its not a pleasant experience & causes alot of sweating/deep red facial skin rashes. To the untrained eye, it doesn't cast your parents in a very favoriable light.(I swear we have not been scourging our child with hot irons) I'm going to ask about something we can do to prevent/clear up those patches (although they said it is normal,I'm not sure as to what degree they were talking about).

You are the best little baby ever..and the most social one. (basically, if you aren't around people 24/7 you're very unhappy) You like your rice cereal & applesauce (greenbeansauce was not a hit & gave you diarrhea),& for now, that's the extent of your solid food experience. For the first year, we've decided to go gluten-free (because the guilt parade doesn't quite end after pregnancy,& many T1 parents opt for that to further decrease their kids chances of developing an autoimmune illness.) Well,your parents don't agree that there should be ANY guilt involved,because as we all know T1 diabetes is a strange beast(striking both breastfed,and formula fed,individuals randomly), & ditto that with celiac disease but for now,the most current research says "this may be benificial to your kiddo" so we're going to roll with it. Both your mommy & your daddy were fed lots of strange things as infants...and somehow managed to survive.(such as onions...my dad thought it was fun to watch the faces that we'd make) You crack yourself (and everyone around you)up...you're a very funny baby. (destined to be the next Jay Leno, perhaps?) You can kind of say the word "hello" (hi-yo), which in your mind, is associated with food. (Hello?Hello??Feed me now, Mommy) You also grab at the spoon, the bottle, and the bowl...to assist (dump food all over) in the feeding process. (you aren't quite ready to feed yourself yet)

You're a whopping 16 lbs & a jumble of arms and legs, most of which are in constant kicking/flailing/swimming motion...and you're working at sitting up, unassisted. (your back muscles aren't quite strong enough yet, since you're dealing with the added weight of the helmet)

You're pretty incredible,& you just keep getting more so!

Love,

Your Mommy

Hypo at Midnight

Fingers
dance along the console
Grabbing
rolls of glucose tabs
Popping
Into open mouths
Waiting (&waiting)
to relieve the shakes
to relieve the shakes.

This is how it was
This is how it is
This is how it must be

Until there's a cure.
Until there's a cure.
Until there's a cure.
(will I see a cure?)

Hypos
Flirting with disaster
Numbness
Spreading over body
Panic
Emptying the fridge
Rebound
Into stratosphere.

This is diabetes.
This is "control"
This is what it's like.

Better
Relatively steady
Always
Just a unit
Away
From the unknown

People have died
People die
People will die
(how is this controllable?)

wishing
For a day
no
Highs or lows
eating
Everything I want
being
What's considered normal

For me
For my diabetes friends
For my friends & family
For anyone who has ever been touched by diabetes,in any way,shape or form.

CURE.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Project: Organization D-Junk

I've fallen in love with the greatest personal organizer...ever.




Found it at Michaels(crafting supply store in the US). I'm sure variations exist in any hardwear/craft store..but I like this particular one because its just perfect for my D-needs.If you're like me, & your bedside stand is a confusing jumble of used test strips,candy wrappers, and other D-(& one low can create that in a hurry)... Then you'll recognize the need to have something to maintain order from the chaos. This fits that need...perfectly.

It's a 8" x 6" x 6" stand up organizer..the perfect size for a nightstand (or dresser).



It has 1 large central space..the perfect size for a bottle of glucose tabs (&/or a can of Diet Coke...)



Just off the central compartment, two smaller compartments can house your D-supplies quite comfortably. (I have my PDM/strips/lancing device in one..and a spare pod/insulin vial/syringe on the other side. They don't get mixed up,and I can deal with each situation separately.I don't have to worry about spilling Diet Coke into a sea of used test strips already covering my phone.









There are 4 side (2 in each side)pockets..great for tucking a roll of glucose tabs or pack of candy into. (or an empty canister,to dispose of used test strips)




Or even a CGM receiver. (no more searching the room because you aren't sure where that shrieking is coming from)



Finally, there is another (open) pouch off the one side...and a velcroed pouch off the other.(perfect for anything else you might need...like a phone(to tweet those early morning "Diabetes Sux!?!" messages...) or a pack of breath mints...or a small pack of tissues after reading an especially emotional blog post...






And the stand-up handle is awesome..it could almost be a purse or murse.(there is a paisley inside print,but the one I got is a pretty solid black on the outside & tape could be placed,to obscure what is showing,if that offended you. It also came in purple/pink at the craft store. Neither of those is a favorite color of mine,so I went with the black. Although the inside print is hardly noticeable.) It's very portable,very trip-friendly, and I think I'll be going back to get several of these. (at $6.99, a reasonable price,IMO)

(as always,no one paid me to write this..the opinions expressed therein are my own & I paid for said product out of my own pocket.)

What do you use to keep your D-stuff organized?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Scare Yourself Every Day: The D-Chronicles

I'm not sure what I was expecting...something like the above, perhaps. (it didn't look like that at all)

Anyhow, I came, I saw,I signed 3 consent forms & was duly eye dilated(R) up. Was taken back to a separate waiting room where two other patients joined me as the baby made shrieking noises to pass the time. Dr. S(paghettio),my ever so buyount opthamologist came to take us over to the lasaring room (where I parked the baby stroller in the corner),& put my head on the device rest.

Click. Click. Click. SNAPPPP. It wasn't painful to the eye, but the frequency was horribly unpleasant to my ears.

"This can't possibly be painful," said Dr. Spaghettio, noting the look of deep consternation on my face.

SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.


"Not painful to the eye..it just sounds horrible."

SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

(I think that was my brain-this is not a pleasant experience.)


"There is no way this can be painful!" Dr. S. continued to insist.

(whatever, dude. I don't think you've ever had a lasar zapping around inside your eye

before.)

SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. (IS IT OVER YET?!?)


"A few more zaps...you have a huge pupil." (why thank you)

SNAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

It was only a few minutes of this, yet felt like lightyears.

"All done! See you in a month."

"Great." I get up from the chair, locate my baby and my sunglasses, and roll on out
of there. "I hope that's done it."

Later that day....

(painkiller time. I'm not sure where he got the idea that said lasaring is never
painful,maybe because he's never had a patient under the age of 40 to go through this. Perhaps older people have a higher tolerance to pain then younger folks.)


It seems to have been somewhat effective...I'm hoping a few more days & it'll be as good as the left eye. Anyhow, I can now cross that one off my Reverse Bucket List. (I'm sure it won't be the last time a lasar goes zapping around in there).

6 Months: Moments

Mr. Studious.



Attack the Mickey!!



Teeth: we've got two!



Smearing my hair with applesauce.



Happy baby.



Unhappy baby.


Nemo kisses.



We love our feetsies...they taste soooo good.



We's a fan.

Peekaboo!

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

Enchanted.

Not sure what to think of this stuff called...food. (4 months old)



Mickey Ears.



Getting measured for a helmet.



Starting the Day...



And ending it.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

FFL: Making the Outliers, Inliers

(if I were a dot on this graph, I'd have been to the farrrr right)

In 2005, I boarded a plane bound for Florida...bound for this place I'd heard about, called Friends for Life. To say that I was nervous would be the understatement of the year. (I was going to room with someone I'd barely met from the Internet chatroom) I didn't know a soul. (and I also didn't tell my parents where I was going, lest they unduly freak out. Wise, nu?)

When I got there, there was no red carpet, no welcoming committee. The CWD young adults of today were still teens, doing teen stuff..and I was at the wayyyy far end of that bell curve, struggling to see where I could fit into all this. Yes, I could pretend to be a teenager(I still looked like one) but in the end, I (& my friend) were out in the cold.

(and that is how I found myself volunteering to chaperone a bunch of crazy teens...at midnight. Never again, is all I can say.Although I respect each and everyone who does so, that's not my cup of tea.)

Seven years later, I don't feel alone (above and beyond the baby/husband in tow factor) anymore when I go to that conference-there are friends everywhere. And that (semi-crazy) fellow PWD that I met off the internet is now a very good friend, not the ax-murderess one would assume they would be. I've grown as a person (one who wouldn't say two words at that first conference,I've always been somewhat of an introvert) and a PWD(knowledge base= double arrows up). And the friends I've met haven't been limited to fellow PWD...spouses of PWD, siblings of PWD, exhibiters, as well as parents of CWD.(it takes a village, and all that jazz)


Many more "outliers" are coming to FFL now..and those teenagers are growing up, getting married,etc. The bell curve is shifting and its not such an odd thing anymore to go to a "Children with Diabetes" conference.

But it still is a "Children with Diabetes" conference, and while more adult programming is making its way into it, at its core, it seems like that will never change. Too earth-shattering to change to "Children and Adults with Diabetes." Not to mention it probably won't sit well with Johnson and Johnson.It started out CWD, and will likely remain so. And for some adults,that's likely to be a point of major contention.

So where is this all going? I don't know. But I can't help feeling that somewhere down the proverbial pike, CWD is going to be faced with that decision (to change the name) because so many adults with D will be coming to this conference..and the fallout may not be pretty. I personally don't care about the name, I love it regardless (people don't ostrocize you just because you don't have a CWD) but it does infer a certain stand-offish status to those who don't have a CWD. CWD is going to have to adapt to this and the shift in the bell curve, perhaps very soon/very quickly (depending on how many T1's do decide to come,and judging from what I read on FB/Twitter there's alot of interest out there). The adult programming is coming along pretty well,they've had some great sessions this year. Scholarships for (adult) PWD also need to be established.

I think that there's room under this big o'le umbrella for us all...CWD or not. (we all need somewhere to feel normal/loved/accepted)

The Laser & The Type One

I've got alot to say about the awesomeness that was Friends For Life...but the most important thing to take care of (post-conferance)was a follow-up with my eye doctor. (each year, they offer a pretty in-depth screening..photographing everything & giving you pics to take home with you. This year, they used a new piece of technology that photographed the thickness of the retina...& detects any "air pockets" that could mean future vessel issues) Well,last fall (in the final weeks of pregnancy)a floater popped up in my right eye(duly freaking me out)..& it wasn't anything significant, just related to age. I just had to learn to live with it. Which I did. However, this year's FFL eye scan revealed complete clouding of my right eye lens & they recommended going back to the eye doctor. (yet again)

So I did that. I really like my eye doctor, he looks like Brad Pitt's (younger) brother. (and he doesn't rip into me about my current a1c) Dilated up,and he spent like 3 minutes looking around, leaned back,and announced that the R eye definetly needed that laser (the left eye isn't to the point of occluding vision yet). I guess since the floater occurred,I've just learned to live with the not-so-sharp vision.

This kind of laser burns a hole through the "sac" overgrowth that obscures the lens. (months/years after cataract surgery) It isn't D-related,& it supposedly isn't painful.However,it is a procedure (and thus,had to be scheduled for "Procedure Day")& like anything else eyeball related,they have to give you a list of (extremily rare) scary potential side effects.(and now I see why you wouldn't want it done unless the eye was completely clouded) I have hope that it will clear up the cloudiness in that eye some. (which I had assumed to be from floaters) It isn't exactly like having cataracts was,because I was stone cold blind from those,& its only noticable in that one eye. Anyway, I'm ready to just get this done...& hopefully, it will help. Once that eye is done, the problem won't reoccur in that eye.(there's the other one sometime down the line, to be dealt with then) Virtually everyone who has an IOL implant for cataracts has to get this laser done..so I don't feel like its my fault or anything.My retinas, thankfully, are still doing fine.

Wordless Wednesday: Growing

A Few Good T-Cells

Many people with diabetes (myself included) fight the continual auto-immune wars.

Yes, we're hot (autoimmune) messes. Type 1 diabetes, celiac disease,thyroid
disorders,etc.etc.etc.



I imagine my thyroid cells like champions of yore (perhaps the Spartans and their Battle of
Thermopolae) , defending that pass, down to the last cell. Or perhaps those
t-cells that currently do
battle against my thyroid aren't of the same caliber/brutality as the ones that
finished off my islets. For my thyroid has been dealing with this onslought for
about 14 years now...concurrently with my diagnosis of type 1 diabetes. I've been
off/on Synthroid several times,pregnancy tends to increase the "needing help"
factor,but it keeps a lickin' and keeps on ticken.' My Endo (very much the thyroid
person, she is convinced all T1's are headed for being messed up in that dept.)
keeps watch over it with a wary eye...it's anyone's guess when it will die for
good.) I'm not really worried about it,when it happens, it happens,and its probably
the easiest organ function to self-regulate.(pop a daily pill)


Family Fun Fact: there's an additional autoimmune disease prevalient in my family.
Rheumatoid Arthritis is it's name, and both my Grandma and Mom had/have it.
It's a very genetic disease, and much as I don't like to think about it,it's
probably coming for me. Now that I've A. passed 30 B. survived pregnancy, for the
past couple of months my joints have been stiff/hurting. Ignoring it/doing more
exercises/self-medicating/etc. hasn't really improved the situation, so I went to my
doctor for some screening bloodwork (and checking for anything else, like Lyme
disease). Most of the time it shows up after kids (like 40+), but I think that it'll
probably go after me early(given that I don't intend to have 6 kids and spend the
majority of my 30's pregnant). Pregnancy is a state of immuno-comprimisation, so
that's why I think whatever's going on has waited till now to strike. If I do have
another auto-immune disease,it's going to be tough to deal with(LEAVE ME ALONE,
DISEASE). Diabetes is one of those things that you hope you can live a semi-healthy
long life with,but there's not much comfortable about a progressively debilitating
disease. (Plan B: go ahead and have six kids so that they can take care of me when
I'm too arthritic to care for myself & my husband, being 13 years older then me, may
not still be alive)

I really, really, hope I'm wrong,even Lyme disease sounds like a good alternative.
(easily treatable, end of situation)

The Girl in the Plastic Bubble*

(this is as bubble-ish as I can get us. I'm not a Photo-Shop Pro)


Sometimes it feels like we live our lives in a plastic bubble.


"Don't eat that."

"Exercise."

"Don't live alone."

"Keep your a1c under 6.5, and your risk of complications will be seriously decreased."

"Be sure to floss/brush/get regular checkups/never cut your toenails yourself/don't go barefoot/don't procreate without permission/don't drink more then 2 drinks/blahblahblahblahblah..."

That list goes on. We are, in the eyes of the media, healthcare profession, and the general public...a fragile species,that needs to be sheltered from the big bad world. (that will kill us) Our plastic bubble (of rules and regulations) will keep us safe.


But the thing about plastic bubbles is, you can't stay in them forever. Just like John Travolta's character had the yearning to rebel & go live life on his own terms,(regardless of how scary that was) we have to let diabetes conform to our lives...not the other way around. We can't live in a hospital (above and beyond the fact that you'd not be living very long in there anyway, with the rate of iatragenic infections) and reciting of the mantra "What would my Endo Do?" (in said situation)doesn't always jive with what we want. You've got to balance life with diabetes & keep on keeping on.

Run marathons.


Have babies.


Go be a world-class surgeon. (or firefighter, chef, Indy race car driver, etc.)


I am not a girl in a plastic bubble. I am not "fragile", to be lumped in with a million other PWD you may have come in contact with. I am unique,
on my own journey & not about to take the opinion of your brother's girlfriend's mom's first cousin-once-removed opinion about my disease. And till the day I die, I won't be defined by the lack of a functioning organ.


*(If you've ever seen the movie "The Boy in the Plastic Bubble"...(starring John Travolta)you'll have caught the reference.)

Confessions of a Diabetic Mommy: The Top Eleven

#1 My child is witness to the sprouters, sprayers, gushers, finger pricks, pod changes, dexcom changes,and simeraly gory D-Acts 24 hours a day, seven days a week. At this age it shouldn't be upsetting,but I don't know, I'm probably scarring him for life (and setting him up for many future therapy sessions). I know toddlers definetly don't like seeing blood(I once checked my blood sugar while baby-sitting one and she started screaming, at top volume). He just smiles, and enjoys looking at his momma (probably the only time in his life he'll enjoy doing so).


#2 Our first family vacation will be a Diabetes Conference. (and likely many more) How utterly geek-y and appearingly not-fun is that? (it is actually very fun, but a normal person would probably pity the poor little soul) It's Orlando, it's summer...so there's not just the conference going on.(although he's rather too young to do anything this go-around)


#3 Sometimes, when I'm especially sleep deprived,(or low) I'll ask him "Are we low?", drink a juice box, feed him, and go back to bed. Low=cranky=feed both of us, in my mixed up brain. And if I'm not low, I'll wake up later with a high bg. (he isn't D, or hypoglycemic,and I'm very grateful for that)

#4 Sometimes (when I'm low) I'll drink the juicebox while he screams to be fed...and feel like the world's worst mom. (Dear Passersby: there's a reason I'm staring blankly at my screaming child, I swear there is. Don't judge unless you've been there)


#5 Test strip bottles make excellent rattles.


#6 Pod-y and Dexcom sensors are very tempting to little fingers. (which like to yank and grab anything and everything)They don't get anywhere near his mouth, however.

#7 I still leave test strips at random spots around the house..I need to d-proof the place, before he starts to crawl. (don't want him to be eating test strips!)

#8 Most of his friends will probably be connected to the DOC/D-World (in one way or the other). Eh. (not bad..just weird)

#9 He loves looking at my lighted Dexcom graph...and pretty much anything else with a light.

#10 I've already dipstick-checked several of his super-saturated diapers for ketones/glucose. Neurotic mother that I am, if he is going to get diabetes,I'd rather be knowing sooner rather then later. No, his kidneys just work well (and its summertime). I will not do anything invasive,& I'm not going to make his childhood unlivable, I'm going to let him be a kid. (and I'm also not going to do the Trial Net Study, because that would be even worse)But I am going to be vigilant for the signs.(should they occur,knock wood that they never do)

#11 I've wondered if a PWD had a low while locked in a room with nothing but a breast pump and a glucose meter,could they drink the breast milk (or would the act of extracting it make them even lower) Milk really doesn't have enough carbs to raise one quick enough,but its a rather fascinating concept...that you could save your own life.


I hope we don't screw up our child too badly.

Black

I cannot sleep tonight. That lump of coal,formerly known as my stomach,pitches & rolls like a ship on the high seas. The D-gods are angry,& the skies above are pitch black...interspersed with the ketone strikes of lightening.(coincedentily, so is the weather outside) And Diabetes laughs at my puny attempts at "control."

241. Probably have ketones,but improved over 12 hours ago, as my blood sugar went from 155 to 600+ in a matter of hours. (I'd eaten the routine breakfast of oatmeal & bolused appropriately) But it was a new pod,& not a good one,as I very shortly found out. Being greeted by that HIGH was a freak-out moment of epic proportions,the last time I've had one of those had been at least 6 years. I took a shot,& rechecked an hour later. Still high. I do not know what to do with a number I can't see,so I packed up the Bairn & we went to the ER,which resulted in a 525 bg at triage(I felt stupid,as I was obviously coming down). Cue stomachache. Blood sugar dropped to 404 by time of being seen,IV fluids & Zofran & 10 units later was 202 & discharged with orders to call Endo. tomorrow.(not in DKA)(Wee Bairns dad picked him up & took home,many hours before.Wee Bairn thought it was a very interesting place & charmed everyone he came in contact with.)

I need Zofran,& I need a listening ear(on my blood sugars) & a shoulder to cry on,words can't express how much I hate diabetes right now.It sucks.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dblog Week: Hero (II)

Once upon a morning dreary
As I woke up, dragging wearily
Diet Coke was there-for me
And life was all that it should be.

It's not easy having D
Even worse to live with me
Diabetes ups and downs
Tic Tacs,wrappers, Almond Mounds.

Have I ever said that you're my hero?
Crazy, crazy, stupid lows
The one whose arms still hold me tight
Through my blurry, shaky sight.

Bills that stack upon the chair
Frequent doctors, frequent care
There is no break, there is no cure
The way things are, is how they were.

Truly on this ride called life
The highs and lows, the joys and strife
Interwoven with disease
Nothing really comes with ease.

To my wonderful type 3
I pledge to (try to) keep my a1c
Against it's bad effects assuaged
Well preserved,into old age.

Have I ever said that you're my hero
The only one who loves me so
You're everything sweet at 60 mg/dl
As I'm scarfing sugar pills.

(to the hero's in your life...make sure you appreciate them!)

Dblog Week: Saturday Snapshots

Back for the third year, let’s show everyone what life with diabetes looks like! With a nod
to the Diabetes 365 project, let’s grab our cameras again and share some more d-related pictures.
Post as many or as few as you’d like. Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures,
or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

Coasters.

I don't need no stinkin' control.

Mama, I think you're low.

But sometimes the stars aline.

A better day.

A Rattle!

We CAN eat these.

The Back-up Plan.

Stockpiled.

Yes, it does.

Screen of Death.

Mac-Gyvered.

Can I get a repeat? (on the last 24 hours)

Fondly dubbed "The Cockroach" by my loving spouse.

I love to bungee-jump.

A day in the life.

(don't leave home without it!!)