Once upon a time(at the beginning of fall semester '09), I informed the instructor of my insulin pump.I did this,so there would never be the slightest hint that I might be cheating(looking at it,during exams) . He took it in stride,saying that was ok.
Now,many moons later,we're nearing the end of the 2nd semester and the long-awaited endocrine system.(well,long awaited by me) I've wondered all semester if he'll get it right.And I've just ached for the moment where the roles are reversed and I'm not the dumbest student in the class.That moment is still weeks away...but today,I was asked if I'd like to do a short presentation on the pump & I said yes.PWD comes out of the closet(both scary & exilerating,I mean,I do not broadcast diabetes at all) It's a chance to educate my classmates about it.Diabetes hasn't come up in casual conversations with my classmates,ever, and no one notices that little green elecronic device clipped on my waistband,so I'm sure the shock factor will be a 10.0 on the Ricktor Scale. I wasn't really expecting he'd ask me to do this(I'm not exactly the A type student),but I sure am looking forward to doing it. It's a good feeling,when you can educate impressionable young minds prior to their getting bad info from somewhere else.
This week and next,it's off to California for Easter...and a mini-vac.The books come with me too,I have yet another exam 4 days after getting back,fortuantly it's on the digestive system & I know alot about that.Skipping 2 classes won't be the end of the world.I really hope to meet some more D-bloggers when I'm out there,but again,they may not want to meet me so I guess we'll just see. We plan to do some sightseeing while we're out there,its not just a quick visit family deal. Hopefully,it'll be warm enough to hit up the beach too.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The Audacity of Hope
(This is not a plug for our 44th President's book.)
Several nights ago,(on Twitter) I and several other D-friends were engaging a (parent of a newly dx'd child) in conversation.
I know what it is to be in honeymoon and hope your diabetes will just go away. And as a parent, I'm sure those feelings must be multiplied by 1000. You want only the best for your child,you don't want diabetes to be a permanant thing in your child's life. You want the doctors to be wrong, you want to be the one in a million, it was all just a fluke and it will go away soon. For most people, the reality slowly sets in...the honeymoon ends,you realize that diabetes is here to stay. But for some people,they cannot accept it...and there must be a way to make them better. God would not allow such a travesty in their lives. These are the red flag individuals that often end up in the newspaper on manslaughter related charges,after attempting to wean their child off insulin. So, yes, when someone starts making statements that their child will be cured...and quoting a inaccurate cure-all testimonial..its a tad concerning. You can only hope they won't. This person seemed to be responsible...and in communication with their child's healthcare team,and adamant that they wouldn't stop insulin without the dr's permission.(but who knows..if they believe something strongly enough, of course they're going to act on it)
I'm not sure I (or anyone else) got through to them..when someone is very convinced of something,(make that religiously convinced) it may feel like everyone else is the enemy,and out to ruin their faith. Add to that, that they are convinced they see miracles happening every night(physical ones) and one starts to wonder if they have the ability to distinguish between reality/snake oil medicine at all. At one point(in my singlehood), I went out with one of them.(thankfully it never got to the point of his trying to cure my diabetes)
Hope is a powerful drug,and we all wish for a cure, but the reality is, there has never been anyone supermiracuously cured.(of either type 1, or type 2) And unfortunately, when one charges out ahead, intent on curing the diabetes,the person with diabetes soon ends up quite ill,or dead. I think hope, diabetes,and God can peacefully coexist,I believe God gave us the tools to take care of ourselves(and have a life expectancy far beyond what it was in 1921.) One can pick any verse out of the Bible,& quote it till they're blue in the face...and beyond making themselves appear seriously ignorant of how God actually interacts with the real world,its just like talking to a brick wall. They don't consider any other alternatives,having a debate isn't really possible from either perspective.(medical facts, or theology)So they go back to their favorite verse and cling to that. I am not bashing Christians,(I am one)but its like an EMT walking into an operating room and doing quadruple bypass surgery.(they have no clue what they're really saying,just like an EMT would not do surgery correctly)Their doctor needs to stay involved(very heavily involved),and have CPS out there the moment something seems remotely fishy. Denial is one thing, but a child's life is quite another. You never really know what someone will do.
Several nights ago,(on Twitter) I and several other D-friends were engaging a (parent of a newly dx'd child) in conversation.
I know what it is to be in honeymoon and hope your diabetes will just go away. And as a parent, I'm sure those feelings must be multiplied by 1000. You want only the best for your child,you don't want diabetes to be a permanant thing in your child's life. You want the doctors to be wrong, you want to be the one in a million, it was all just a fluke and it will go away soon. For most people, the reality slowly sets in...the honeymoon ends,you realize that diabetes is here to stay. But for some people,they cannot accept it...and there must be a way to make them better. God would not allow such a travesty in their lives. These are the red flag individuals that often end up in the newspaper on manslaughter related charges,after attempting to wean their child off insulin. So, yes, when someone starts making statements that their child will be cured...and quoting a inaccurate cure-all testimonial..its a tad concerning. You can only hope they won't. This person seemed to be responsible...and in communication with their child's healthcare team,and adamant that they wouldn't stop insulin without the dr's permission.(but who knows..if they believe something strongly enough, of course they're going to act on it)
I'm not sure I (or anyone else) got through to them..when someone is very convinced of something,(make that religiously convinced) it may feel like everyone else is the enemy,and out to ruin their faith. Add to that, that they are convinced they see miracles happening every night(physical ones) and one starts to wonder if they have the ability to distinguish between reality/snake oil medicine at all. At one point(in my singlehood), I went out with one of them.(thankfully it never got to the point of his trying to cure my diabetes)
Hope is a powerful drug,and we all wish for a cure, but the reality is, there has never been anyone supermiracuously cured.(of either type 1, or type 2) And unfortunately, when one charges out ahead, intent on curing the diabetes,the person with diabetes soon ends up quite ill,or dead. I think hope, diabetes,and God can peacefully coexist,I believe God gave us the tools to take care of ourselves(and have a life expectancy far beyond what it was in 1921.) One can pick any verse out of the Bible,& quote it till they're blue in the face...and beyond making themselves appear seriously ignorant of how God actually interacts with the real world,its just like talking to a brick wall. They don't consider any other alternatives,having a debate isn't really possible from either perspective.(medical facts, or theology)So they go back to their favorite verse and cling to that. I am not bashing Christians,(I am one)but its like an EMT walking into an operating room and doing quadruple bypass surgery.(they have no clue what they're really saying,just like an EMT would not do surgery correctly)Their doctor needs to stay involved(very heavily involved),and have CPS out there the moment something seems remotely fishy. Denial is one thing, but a child's life is quite another. You never really know what someone will do.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
No Strings Attached
All my 'betic life I've been waiting.Waiting on an illusive number that hasn't once presented itself.
I was close once...at 7.3 Enough to trigger a hasty "Good Job! Now do better" from the endocrinologist.
Instead,I did worse.(the power of reverse psychology on the tender D psyche)
11.5 years,thousands of set changes & pricks & highs and lows later,diabetes is just as hard as it was,starting out.Jump on band wagon,fall off.Repeat process.We do the best we can with what we have,and some people out there who shudder in horror at the thought of anything 8.0 and beyond really won't get the point of this post.Even some type 1's.Most appts,they'll hear "Excellent Job!" and can bask in the glory of that.They don't really understand the others..it's much harder,and when the topic comes up,we clam up.(for obvious reasons) There is still so much judgement out there,even in the D community.Just once,though,I would like to hear a heartfelt
"Well done,Heidi."
(without the addendum)That'd be awesome.I need to get there,for me.(D's can do anything except get a decent a1c?) I want that 6.9.
And I hope this will get me there.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I was close once...at 7.3 Enough to trigger a hasty "Good Job! Now do better" from the endocrinologist.
Instead,I did worse.(the power of reverse psychology on the tender D psyche)
11.5 years,thousands of set changes & pricks & highs and lows later,diabetes is just as hard as it was,starting out.Jump on band wagon,fall off.Repeat process.We do the best we can with what we have,and some people out there who shudder in horror at the thought of anything 8.0 and beyond really won't get the point of this post.Even some type 1's.Most appts,they'll hear "Excellent Job!" and can bask in the glory of that.They don't really understand the others..it's much harder,and when the topic comes up,we clam up.(for obvious reasons) There is still so much judgement out there,even in the D community.Just once,though,I would like to hear a heartfelt
"Well done,Heidi."
(without the addendum)That'd be awesome.I need to get there,for me.(D's can do anything except get a decent a1c?) I want that 6.9.
And I hope this will get me there.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Reform or Deform?
One hundred and forty-nine years ago, on the brick of a Civil War,Lincoln put his thoughts into immortal words:
...I believe, this nation cannot permanently endure half slave and half free.
He was right of course,and four years of bloody war soon followed. America was defined in that war,and a new America arose,one that would eventually pull itself out of the mud and unite, with freedom for all. More then that was decided though,and the power of the people switched from the state governments to the Federal Government.
Ah, the federal government. Born from the Founding Fathers quaint wishes to be a medium of the people, serving the people,and not leeching the people. That was so long ago that the vast majority of people in the country(maybe even Congress) don't even know who the Founding Fathers were.(Or care,which is why Congress can get away with so much)
I say, a nation cannot endure half socialist and half not. Can we now expect the federal gov't to fork out for our houses, our education,our car insurance,and everything else? I am sad for America,sad that we're giving over yet another piece of ourselves to our gov't. In Denmark,the gov't pays for your education,your healthcare,and probably quite a bit else.(they also pay out the wazoo in taxes) In America,this will probably be either a great help, or a grand disaster(premiums won't go down, people would rather pay the $700 fine & get insurance again when they do get sick)and all the sick people will be bleeding the insurance dry,premiums/etc. will go through the roof. And I hope I'm wrong...that it works out.(people should have their pre-existing conditions covered) But America needs to start taking responsibility and working to BE healthier,cutting out cigarettes,drugs,alcohol,massive BMI...there needs to be some clause in the Medicaid/Medicare policies that says if you abuse such substances,you are not eligible for benefits. We also need to stop paying for illegal aliens, we spend billions of dollars a year on them. We're killing ourselves, and the gov't is paying for it.(in Denmark,there is practically no morbid obesity so at least they've got that going for them.Their hospitals don't have to shell out for that) In my opinion, we're focused on all the WRONG things,and there is more to this then meets the eye.People need health insurance,but for the few that use it properly,there are a thousand more who abuse it.(carte blanche, play 911 tag on a Friday night just because you're bored/or in need of a bath/company. Which I witnessed, when I was on the rescue squad.)And the hospital passes on costs to everyone else to cover the bills, so they can stay in business. There needs to be some responsibility with this. Yes, I know there are many good,hardworking people out there who just can't swing it,chronic disease/everything else can be really expensive but I don't see this as helping the 2 million other Americans who have no desire to spend thousands on health insurance they don't want. It's so mixed up,and no one knows what will happen.
...I believe, this nation cannot permanently endure half slave and half free.
He was right of course,and four years of bloody war soon followed. America was defined in that war,and a new America arose,one that would eventually pull itself out of the mud and unite, with freedom for all. More then that was decided though,and the power of the people switched from the state governments to the Federal Government.
Ah, the federal government. Born from the Founding Fathers quaint wishes to be a medium of the people, serving the people,and not leeching the people. That was so long ago that the vast majority of people in the country(maybe even Congress) don't even know who the Founding Fathers were.(Or care,which is why Congress can get away with so much)
I say, a nation cannot endure half socialist and half not. Can we now expect the federal gov't to fork out for our houses, our education,our car insurance,and everything else? I am sad for America,sad that we're giving over yet another piece of ourselves to our gov't. In Denmark,the gov't pays for your education,your healthcare,and probably quite a bit else.(they also pay out the wazoo in taxes) In America,this will probably be either a great help, or a grand disaster(premiums won't go down, people would rather pay the $700 fine & get insurance again when they do get sick)and all the sick people will be bleeding the insurance dry,premiums/etc. will go through the roof. And I hope I'm wrong...that it works out.(people should have their pre-existing conditions covered) But America needs to start taking responsibility and working to BE healthier,cutting out cigarettes,drugs,alcohol,massive BMI...there needs to be some clause in the Medicaid/Medicare policies that says if you abuse such substances,you are not eligible for benefits. We also need to stop paying for illegal aliens, we spend billions of dollars a year on them. We're killing ourselves, and the gov't is paying for it.(in Denmark,there is practically no morbid obesity so at least they've got that going for them.Their hospitals don't have to shell out for that) In my opinion, we're focused on all the WRONG things,and there is more to this then meets the eye.People need health insurance,but for the few that use it properly,there are a thousand more who abuse it.(carte blanche, play 911 tag on a Friday night just because you're bored/or in need of a bath/company. Which I witnessed, when I was on the rescue squad.)And the hospital passes on costs to everyone else to cover the bills, so they can stay in business. There needs to be some responsibility with this. Yes, I know there are many good,hardworking people out there who just can't swing it,chronic disease/everything else can be really expensive but I don't see this as helping the 2 million other Americans who have no desire to spend thousands on health insurance they don't want. It's so mixed up,and no one knows what will happen.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Spring Training
As the final hour before Spring Break would begin,slowly played itself out,the class could be observed in various positions of un-rapt attention,namely:
-biting fingernails
-scrolling on mobile phones
-contorting arm into trianges,from body
-taking notes(1 person)
-staring at their Dexcom and willing it to start going down after two consecutive boluses
-faceplant,into desk
-drinking Starbucks & faking interest
-twisting hair
At long last,we were free to go,after reviewing lung/slide anatomy & making sure we were clear on every T-Cell,B-Cell,and ph formula known to man.As deeply fascinating as it is,knowing all the screwups of the immune system(and how dka kills),there is a point where your brain just shuts down.Especially if it's 65 degrees & sunny outside.
Since it's Spring Break,I hope to get alot done.
1.Review and prepare for the test on the first Monday after spring break.(yeah,welcome back)
2.Step up my gym routine to every other day.(snazzy new pair of running shoes should help with that)
3.Clean.Organize.Cook influx of various freezer-friendly foods.
4. Basal test.Yes,it's been forever since I did one.Actually communicate with my DE,& TRY to get this a1c down.Testing doesn't do any good if you do the exact same thing the next day.
5.Clean up this blog a bit.Do a V-Log.
6.Family stuff,go down to visit my parents and brother.
That should keep me more then busy!(for the next 10 days)Hopefully,I'll stay motivated.The last few weeks,it's just seemed like every possible body system has fell apart on me.(I'm sure you know the feeling,steamroller blahs)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, March 08, 2010
Secrets of the Genome, Part III
I did things their way. I trekked down the City of Un-Brotherly love,just for the sole purpose of getting lab work.(footing the gas, parking garage fees...plus an entire morning of dealing with a registrar who had seemingly no inclination to find the orders, or call the nephrology office for MORE orders. I guess that's my job, along with drawing my own blood, running the lab tests, and hand-delivering it to the doctor)
And then, I waited. Wednesday.Thursday.Friday.(Saturday, Sunday) This morning, I called back and plugged the voicemails of every existing phone in the nephrology department.
Miracuously, the doctor called me back, and said the lab had neglected to get an actual magnesium level(along with 3 other actual tests)and she was sorry, and frustrated right along with me. Any chance that my primary care provider could get them?(no, my pcp doctor won't touch the issue with a ten foot pole) Frustration number one.(I just spent how much money on a totally useless mission) As it's been two months..the followup is just around the corner, in April. When you go to the lab, you actually now have to assume that they aren't running the right tests & personally question them on what they should be running.(which they won't believe and will have to verify, taking several MORE hours)
Without those "key" tests,it's impossible to really know for sure.And the lab in Virginia sent notes..not actual values, so from reading those notes they just get the general idea that it's solely a magnesium-wasting problem. Inconvenient, but hardly a shoe-in for Bartter's Syndrome. But it's not just a magnesium problem,although I waste alot of calcium as well,my levels of that are normal.(it just doesn't reabsorb into my kidney tubules)Leading my current nephrologist to proclaim I have Bartter's, the other syndromes don't involve leaking calcium.
All I really wanted is genetic testing,not to waste half my life confusing them and frustrating me.
Although they now actually believe that yes, I do have an actual genetic defect involving the magnesium channels,and suggested various non-productive ways to deal with it. Oral magnesium.(been there, done that,every brand/dose/way. Induces horrid, persistent dierrea and even increases magnesium loss) Amiloride, a K-sparing diuretic.(yes, I do that too) I hadn't told them that I pump magnesium,it didn't really seem like they'd A)have any idea what I was talking about or B)approve.
"Or, we could lower your kidney function, since lower kidney function slows electrolyte loss. We can do this via (large)doses of NSAIDS."
EXCUSE ME? Did a physician (at a world renown medical institution, grant you) actually just suggest/offer to help put me in renal failure,as a treatment for this thing? (At the initial appointment, she spent five minutes telling me to never,ever,take an NSAID because it was bad for my (otherwise fine) diabetic kidneys. To say that it was shocking was an understatement. Yes,this condition is bothersome,inconvenient, and frustrating, but it's treatable. Unlike kidney failure, which is infantly more serious and 100% more fatal. If you just treat the body with the appropriate electrolytes,it's like diabetes,you stay happy and healthy. I will take my imperfect kidneys over kidney failure any day. I did not say this to her,but that's what I thought.
Then we discussed genetic testing. It's about $4,000, which would not be covered by insurance..and would likely(99.9%) just show .00000001 chance of passing it on.(not worth it, in her opinion) I could go to the NIH or somewhere, and try to get in on one of their studies to have it done.(but at the end of the day-what's it really show that medical testing has not already confirmed?) All of these syndromes are so rare,that no one really knows much about the genetics of them. And I think I will do that(go the NIH route), because I want to know.
So, by the end of the conversation,I'd lost complete faith in JH to acquire/diagnose anything..it wasn't why I'd gone there in the first place,
but if they don't really believe in the necessity of something,and lose every
core piece of info while trying to diagnose something,it's not really worth it. No, it's not imperative that I know for sure that I have Bartter's Syndrome, but it seems to me to be the difference between a random genetic defect and a disease that has statistical evidence,with the later having a higher chance of happening in offspring. That's really what I wanted the information for. Perhaps I just have to accept that medicine is an imperfect science..ask 5 nephrologists something, and you get 10 different opinions. One can't predict the future..or the chances that one's offspring won't be born with some sort of defect. Fortuantly, the chances of this one defect seem to be extremely,extremely low.(more chance that a child would acquire diabetes)
And then, I waited. Wednesday.Thursday.Friday.(Saturday, Sunday) This morning, I called back and plugged the voicemails of every existing phone in the nephrology department.
Miracuously, the doctor called me back, and said the lab had neglected to get an actual magnesium level(along with 3 other actual tests)and she was sorry, and frustrated right along with me. Any chance that my primary care provider could get them?(no, my pcp doctor won't touch the issue with a ten foot pole) Frustration number one.(I just spent how much money on a totally useless mission) As it's been two months..the followup is just around the corner, in April. When you go to the lab, you actually now have to assume that they aren't running the right tests & personally question them on what they should be running.(which they won't believe and will have to verify, taking several MORE hours)
Without those "key" tests,it's impossible to really know for sure.And the lab in Virginia sent notes..not actual values, so from reading those notes they just get the general idea that it's solely a magnesium-wasting problem. Inconvenient, but hardly a shoe-in for Bartter's Syndrome. But it's not just a magnesium problem,although I waste alot of calcium as well,my levels of that are normal.(it just doesn't reabsorb into my kidney tubules)Leading my current nephrologist to proclaim I have Bartter's, the other syndromes don't involve leaking calcium.
All I really wanted is genetic testing,not to waste half my life confusing them and frustrating me.
Although they now actually believe that yes, I do have an actual genetic defect involving the magnesium channels,and suggested various non-productive ways to deal with it. Oral magnesium.(been there, done that,every brand/dose/way. Induces horrid, persistent dierrea and even increases magnesium loss) Amiloride, a K-sparing diuretic.(yes, I do that too) I hadn't told them that I pump magnesium,it didn't really seem like they'd A)have any idea what I was talking about or B)approve.
"Or, we could lower your kidney function, since lower kidney function slows electrolyte loss. We can do this via (large)doses of NSAIDS."
EXCUSE ME? Did a physician (at a world renown medical institution, grant you) actually just suggest/offer to help put me in renal failure,as a treatment for this thing? (At the initial appointment, she spent five minutes telling me to never,ever,take an NSAID because it was bad for my (otherwise fine) diabetic kidneys. To say that it was shocking was an understatement. Yes,this condition is bothersome,inconvenient, and frustrating, but it's treatable. Unlike kidney failure, which is infantly more serious and 100% more fatal. If you just treat the body with the appropriate electrolytes,it's like diabetes,you stay happy and healthy. I will take my imperfect kidneys over kidney failure any day. I did not say this to her,but that's what I thought.
Then we discussed genetic testing. It's about $4,000, which would not be covered by insurance..and would likely(99.9%) just show .00000001 chance of passing it on.(not worth it, in her opinion) I could go to the NIH or somewhere, and try to get in on one of their studies to have it done.(but at the end of the day-what's it really show that medical testing has not already confirmed?) All of these syndromes are so rare,that no one really knows much about the genetics of them. And I think I will do that(go the NIH route), because I want to know.
So, by the end of the conversation,I'd lost complete faith in JH to acquire/diagnose anything..it wasn't why I'd gone there in the first place,
but if they don't really believe in the necessity of something,and lose every
core piece of info while trying to diagnose something,it's not really worth it. No, it's not imperative that I know for sure that I have Bartter's Syndrome, but it seems to me to be the difference between a random genetic defect and a disease that has statistical evidence,with the later having a higher chance of happening in offspring. That's really what I wanted the information for. Perhaps I just have to accept that medicine is an imperfect science..ask 5 nephrologists something, and you get 10 different opinions. One can't predict the future..or the chances that one's offspring won't be born with some sort of defect. Fortuantly, the chances of this one defect seem to be extremely,extremely low.(more chance that a child would acquire diabetes)
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Post-Endo
(dedicated to everyone out there who has ever dealt with a failed infusion set/monsterously high bg in the middle of the night.)
By the light of a Ping's eery green glow
Pops a 380 plus(oh,so NOT-low)
Soooooooo....
Where do you go?
When your brain turns to mush
As your kidneys re-flush
No fluids enough
To feel rid of this stuff.
Tired and cranky,sad,mad,& forlorn
A number in flight..ah yes,it is soarin'
Last night's 96 is so quickly forgot
An infusion set dead,means it's time for a shot.
Somewhere over the rainbow...
Or down the Valley of the Shadow.
Fighting for life,trying to show
That tonight's DKA-vitation will end in NO.
Where do you go?
when diabetes,your foe
Springs a high,then a low
For a chunk (of) cookie dough.
These weapons,so crude
For a foe,oh so shrewd
New tools are real great
But will they come way too late?
Where do you go
To not wallow in woe
pick it back up,& show
d that you are the pro
and that one thing you know
that you'll get up...you'll grow.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
By the light of a Ping's eery green glow
Pops a 380 plus(oh,so NOT-low)
Soooooooo....
Where do you go?
When your brain turns to mush
As your kidneys re-flush
No fluids enough
To feel rid of this stuff.
Tired and cranky,sad,mad,& forlorn
A number in flight..ah yes,it is soarin'
Last night's 96 is so quickly forgot
An infusion set dead,means it's time for a shot.
Somewhere over the rainbow...
Or down the Valley of the Shadow.
Fighting for life,trying to show
That tonight's DKA-vitation will end in NO.
Where do you go?
when diabetes,your foe
Springs a high,then a low
For a chunk (of) cookie dough.
These weapons,so crude
For a foe,oh so shrewd
New tools are real great
But will they come way too late?
Where do you go
To not wallow in woe
pick it back up,& show
d that you are the pro
and that one thing you know
that you'll get up...you'll grow.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, February 28, 2010
The App Spot
(your bi-monthly FREE app report)
1. NBCOlympics. Your up-to-date blow-by-blow of the 2010 Winter Games.(thankfully,they're almost over)
2.FSS Hockey.A way to be painfully reminded,yet again,that Canada kicks our rears in that sport & we just aren't that terrific in it.(it's actually air hockey,but reminds one of hockey in general)
3. Sunday Lawn. This is a really fun little game where you have to mow lawns while avoiding dogs,dog poop,and hamsters.(that break your mower blade and send you back to the beginning)
4. iSurgeon.You,a scalpel,and a virtual lawsuit waiting to happen!
5. Meebo. You can IM with over 100 platforms using this app..aim,yahoo,fb,windows live,gmail,etc.Ultimate geek must-have.
6.iVideoCamera. (.99) Not free...but well worth it,if you are stuck with a 3G and want the video camera option.Exports to Twitter,YouTube,Facebook,Flickr,etc. An awesome app.
7.Hawaii. Get away for a minute with the sights and sounds of gentle ocean sands/beaches.
8.Cool Curlings,Lite.(learn how it's really played...become a virtual whiz!)
9. MyCoke.(a code counter for your coke caps) There's no charge,(it's not texting) and it's faster then entering them all on your computer.
10. 5-0 Radio. Taps into the largest EMS-Fire-Police-other network,live stream.Keep informed,of what's going on in your area and around the world!
(the Aussie accents are absolutely adorable)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
1. NBCOlympics. Your up-to-date blow-by-blow of the 2010 Winter Games.(thankfully,they're almost over)
2.FSS Hockey.A way to be painfully reminded,yet again,that Canada kicks our rears in that sport & we just aren't that terrific in it.(it's actually air hockey,but reminds one of hockey in general)
3. Sunday Lawn. This is a really fun little game where you have to mow lawns while avoiding dogs,dog poop,and hamsters.(that break your mower blade and send you back to the beginning)
4. iSurgeon.You,a scalpel,and a virtual lawsuit waiting to happen!
5. Meebo. You can IM with over 100 platforms using this app..aim,yahoo,fb,windows live,gmail,etc.Ultimate geek must-have.
6.iVideoCamera. (.99) Not free...but well worth it,if you are stuck with a 3G and want the video camera option.Exports to Twitter,YouTube,Facebook,Flickr,etc. An awesome app.
7.Hawaii. Get away for a minute with the sights and sounds of gentle ocean sands/beaches.
8.Cool Curlings,Lite.(learn how it's really played...become a virtual whiz!)
9. MyCoke.(a code counter for your coke caps) There's no charge,(it's not texting) and it's faster then entering them all on your computer.
10. 5-0 Radio. Taps into the largest EMS-Fire-Police-other network,live stream.Keep informed,of what's going on in your area and around the world!
(the Aussie accents are absolutely adorable)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Inside the JDRF Think Tank
Last night,local pump group had the JDRF VP for Government Relations,Larry Solaris,to come & speak about the work JDRF is doing.And the place was packed,despite the frigid,driving rain that clogged up traffic in every road around there.
I had out my iPhone,furiously Tweeting away with mad abandon so I wouldn't forget anything.I was off in my own little world,not really knowing anyone there anyway,when the speaker came up,introduced himself,and asked what I was doing.I responded,& he said the only day he'd ever Tweeted was when JDRF went to the White House.(Obama Admininistration) I guess that was right before the Secret Service confiscated his phone.(still,pretty cool...Tweeting from the White House!) (I cannot believe I actually told him what I was doing,because for the rest of the night he referred to me BY NAME with various Twitter-related stuff.(in the presentation)To say that he has an amazing memory would be an understatement.)Anyway,the VP had brought along his JDRF entourage-staff to help with the presentation.Animas had furnished the requitory diet coke and carrot sticks,& we all settled in to be duly educated.The VP is a type 1 himself...and that added a touch of realness to the JDRF message.So, he touched briefly on the operating budget of JDRF,amount allocated for research(1.5 billlion,funding through 2011),the artificial pancreas project(goal is,to submit to the FDA for approval within 4 years),Smart Insulin-which is being funded partly by JDRF , microneedles(which are so tiny it's like they don't exist...and JDRF is working with BD on them,potentially to be put into pumps..have potential for much quicker insulin absorbtion), advocacy(Promise to Remember Me,Childrens Congress),walks(and we'll be doing our FIRST walk in April,squee!) ,cgm/pump coverage(they met with top ten insurance company ceo's to see what it would take for sensor coverage)and stem cell research.This is where the mood turned from that of excitement to an emotion of an entirely different sort. I happen to think there are other options to the path to a cure,then that of stem cell research.People say..well,if your son/brother/mom were dying & that were the only chance they had you'd feel differently.It doesn't work that way,you can't approve of something you feel to be morally wrong.Even if it means you have to live the rest of your life with this disease.
Anyway,beyond that,it was a very good presentation,& I'm now all fired up to go harass our Congressmen about more funding!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I had out my iPhone,furiously Tweeting away with mad abandon so I wouldn't forget anything.I was off in my own little world,not really knowing anyone there anyway,when the speaker came up,introduced himself,and asked what I was doing.I responded,& he said the only day he'd ever Tweeted was when JDRF went to the White House.(Obama Admininistration) I guess that was right before the Secret Service confiscated his phone.(still,pretty cool...Tweeting from the White House!) (I cannot believe I actually told him what I was doing,because for the rest of the night he referred to me BY NAME with various Twitter-related stuff.(in the presentation)To say that he has an amazing memory would be an understatement.)Anyway,the VP had brought along his JDRF entourage-staff to help with the presentation.Animas had furnished the requitory diet coke and carrot sticks,& we all settled in to be duly educated.The VP is a type 1 himself...and that added a touch of realness to the JDRF message.So, he touched briefly on the operating budget of JDRF,amount allocated for research(1.5 billlion,funding through 2011),the artificial pancreas project(goal is,to submit to the FDA for approval within 4 years),Smart Insulin-which is being funded partly by JDRF , microneedles(which are so tiny it's like they don't exist...and JDRF is working with BD on them,potentially to be put into pumps..have potential for much quicker insulin absorbtion), advocacy(Promise to Remember Me,Childrens Congress),walks(and we'll be doing our FIRST walk in April,squee!) ,cgm/pump coverage(they met with top ten insurance company ceo's to see what it would take for sensor coverage)and stem cell research.This is where the mood turned from that of excitement to an emotion of an entirely different sort. I happen to think there are other options to the path to a cure,then that of stem cell research.People say..well,if your son/brother/mom were dying & that were the only chance they had you'd feel differently.It doesn't work that way,you can't approve of something you feel to be morally wrong.Even if it means you have to live the rest of your life with this disease.
Anyway,beyond that,it was a very good presentation,& I'm now all fired up to go harass our Congressmen about more funding!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, February 19, 2010
Secrets of the Genome(part 2)
(this is a 3 part series, the first will go up when I find the notebook I recorded it in..and the 3rd will probably go up sometime next decade,if/when it ever gets resolved)
Conflicting things have happened since I went in for genetics testing(at Johns Hopkins, in the later part of January)...most notably, blizzards. Never actually got around to the testing because Hopkins,wants initial dx'ng records before they do any tests. Hopkins, was closed the Friday the snow began,and for the next 9 days. (we were all long shoveled out by then, I tend to think they were shoveled out before we were..and they didn't get as much snow) Monday this week, I called them back-NADA, no records.Tues, the doctor called me-still no records,and they weren't in the office today, but oh yes tomorrow I'll call you back.(as I didn't expect that to happen, I wasn't dissapointed.) Thursday, I called them-still NADA so they suggested I call the old place and see if they'd even sent it. I called, they said they'd sent it back on the 29th and it wasn't there fault that JH was so sloppy. I asked, politely, if they could re-fax it because it appears that it never got through. They said no. (yes, it was shocking, no one has ever refused to re-send something.) You could hear it in their voice that they were 100% sick of the entire situation & 100% sick of me, wishing I could just dissapeir from the planet, I guess. They said they'd maxed out their "fax request" for the month.(1 a month?gee, great policy). I then asked if I could purchase a copy, and they could mail it,(that way I'd be sure to get it) and they said no to that too. Great. I thanked them and hung up, really teed off that it seems to be impossible to get answers from anyone and besides, legally, hello, can you deny someone their own medical records? Faxes do get lost sometimes.(perhaps they're so far beyond mistakes like that that they can't understand that fact) Called JH back, and of course they were off on a two hour lunch so I left a message, and called back later, because I knew they wouldn't call me back. Meanwhile, blood sugar had skyrocketed to 420 and I had had it with trying to be nice to anyone. Guess what-they'd found the (non-existent) fax! I then decided JH shouldered the primary blame, not the other drs office.(yep, JH had gotten it on the 29th) What a bunch of irresponsible dolts. I really thought I'd have to get a lawyer just to get a copy of my medical records. They also said they needed current treatment/lab values, so they were going to call the hospital where I get infusions.(and then call me back) They never "lose" anything.
Of course, they never called me back.(I think they just tack it on the end of things to sound good) 5 times I've called(over 3 weeks) and five times they promise to "call me back". The only way this process is going to keep moving forward is through my own blood, sweat, and tears. Called again today, and yep, they haven't had a chance to call for the records and I am pissed. PISSED.(and I apologize for the language but there is no other word in the English language that describes how I feel) I understand being too busy and all that but its been 3.5 weeks people, 3.5 WEEKS. You don't care two beans about patients.(If you at least called me back it'd be slightly better) And you don't seem to care if the process drags on for months. (At every step of this process, I'm the one to fax, call, and cajole this process along) The doctors are stellar..but the system is horrendous.
Conflicting things have happened since I went in for genetics testing(at Johns Hopkins, in the later part of January)...most notably, blizzards. Never actually got around to the testing because Hopkins,wants initial dx'ng records before they do any tests. Hopkins, was closed the Friday the snow began,and for the next 9 days. (we were all long shoveled out by then, I tend to think they were shoveled out before we were..and they didn't get as much snow) Monday this week, I called them back-NADA, no records.Tues, the doctor called me-still no records,and they weren't in the office today, but oh yes tomorrow I'll call you back.(as I didn't expect that to happen, I wasn't dissapointed.) Thursday, I called them-still NADA so they suggested I call the old place and see if they'd even sent it. I called, they said they'd sent it back on the 29th and it wasn't there fault that JH was so sloppy. I asked, politely, if they could re-fax it because it appears that it never got through. They said no. (yes, it was shocking, no one has ever refused to re-send something.) You could hear it in their voice that they were 100% sick of the entire situation & 100% sick of me, wishing I could just dissapeir from the planet, I guess. They said they'd maxed out their "fax request" for the month.(1 a month?gee, great policy). I then asked if I could purchase a copy, and they could mail it,(that way I'd be sure to get it) and they said no to that too. Great. I thanked them and hung up, really teed off that it seems to be impossible to get answers from anyone and besides, legally, hello, can you deny someone their own medical records? Faxes do get lost sometimes.(perhaps they're so far beyond mistakes like that that they can't understand that fact) Called JH back, and of course they were off on a two hour lunch so I left a message, and called back later, because I knew they wouldn't call me back. Meanwhile, blood sugar had skyrocketed to 420 and I had had it with trying to be nice to anyone. Guess what-they'd found the (non-existent) fax! I then decided JH shouldered the primary blame, not the other drs office.(yep, JH had gotten it on the 29th) What a bunch of irresponsible dolts. I really thought I'd have to get a lawyer just to get a copy of my medical records. They also said they needed current treatment/lab values, so they were going to call the hospital where I get infusions.(and then call me back) They never "lose" anything.
Of course, they never called me back.(I think they just tack it on the end of things to sound good) 5 times I've called(over 3 weeks) and five times they promise to "call me back". The only way this process is going to keep moving forward is through my own blood, sweat, and tears. Called again today, and yep, they haven't had a chance to call for the records and I am pissed. PISSED.(and I apologize for the language but there is no other word in the English language that describes how I feel) I understand being too busy and all that but its been 3.5 weeks people, 3.5 WEEKS. You don't care two beans about patients.(If you at least called me back it'd be slightly better) And you don't seem to care if the process drags on for months. (At every step of this process, I'm the one to fax, call, and cajole this process along) The doctors are stellar..but the system is horrendous.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Upside Down
You've probably seen this Youtube video, that describes, to a T, what an impact diabetes can have on one's life.
18 months(and 4 days)ago tonight...the world watched the spectacular opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympic Games in Beijing. Most of the world, that is. 08/07/08 was the day my intestines decided to have an intussesseption, and in the wee hours of 08/08/08 I was admitted to the hospital.
Fortuantly, after some more tests(and the drinking of industrial-strength-blockage-remover), it loosened things up..and surgery wasn't necessary. However, I was in alot of pain, I was a diabetic,my labs were whacky, and they weren't going to just discharge me. Morphine dreams was the only thing I watched that day.
The next day,they set about trying to correct the electrolyte situation.3 days later, it was doing better, so they discharged me. And though I have fears sometimes that it would happen again...it seemed to be an isolated,random event.Bowel went back to normal.
Ever since then, the need for magnesium has remained high. 14 months of IV therapy. It's doing better..I can do 2 weeks now w/need of 4grams.(vs even 1 a week, several months ago)And I still hold out hopes, that I can get this pumping thing worked out.(right now, insurance has gotta approve it)
But it's there. Permanently. And my life, will never be the same. Like diabetes...it's here to stay.
18 months(and 4 days)ago tonight...the world watched the spectacular opening ceremonies of the Summer Olympic Games in Beijing. Most of the world, that is. 08/07/08 was the day my intestines decided to have an intussesseption, and in the wee hours of 08/08/08 I was admitted to the hospital.
Fortuantly, after some more tests(and the drinking of industrial-strength-blockage-remover), it loosened things up..and surgery wasn't necessary. However, I was in alot of pain, I was a diabetic,my labs were whacky, and they weren't going to just discharge me. Morphine dreams was the only thing I watched that day.
The next day,they set about trying to correct the electrolyte situation.3 days later, it was doing better, so they discharged me. And though I have fears sometimes that it would happen again...it seemed to be an isolated,random event.Bowel went back to normal.
Ever since then, the need for magnesium has remained high. 14 months of IV therapy. It's doing better..I can do 2 weeks now w/need of 4grams.(vs even 1 a week, several months ago)And I still hold out hopes, that I can get this pumping thing worked out.(right now, insurance has gotta approve it)
But it's there. Permanently. And my life, will never be the same. Like diabetes...it's here to stay.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Snow Daze
Over the weekend,parts of the North-central-east got hit with El Massivo Snow Storm.Dubbed the "Snowcopalyse" on Twitter,it most definatly left an impact.No where was it greater,then in certain parts of Maryland.Yes,DC,I realize that 25 inches of snow tends to cramp your spending style but there are places that are even worse off so could you do us all a big favor & acknowledge that fact?(DC acts like they're the center of the universe sometimes)Some places got three feet.We were semi-lucky,middle-of-the-packers.(at 30 inches)And we kept our power...which I'm very grateful for.
It's now Tuesday.Roads are still largely undrivable,gov't offices (including the post office) remain closed,and so is school.It's kind of nice,but I worry about the obscene amount of work I'll have to make up..pre-test.I'm back with last semester's prof,& he loves to spring frequent tests.(finish one,turn around & do another) It's not even 4 weeks into the semester & soon we'll be on test #2.
Unfortuently,yet another snowstorm is on it's way.Projected 12-20 inches,which is a crazy amount of snow to be dealing with.(on top of the last round)Digging out our cars was like making a snow fort,natural isolation from the neighbors and the world.With this one...we'll have our own snow castle! At 5'1, said snow totals will just about bury me(not including the drifts)It's definatly a winter for the record books.Got my Diet Coke stash though...so bring on Round #2!!
(Keeping the pump warm...)
Snow drift:
Monstercycles:
Shoveling out..
Deck:
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
It's now Tuesday.Roads are still largely undrivable,gov't offices (including the post office) remain closed,and so is school.It's kind of nice,but I worry about the obscene amount of work I'll have to make up..pre-test.I'm back with last semester's prof,& he loves to spring frequent tests.(finish one,turn around & do another) It's not even 4 weeks into the semester & soon we'll be on test #2.
Unfortuently,yet another snowstorm is on it's way.Projected 12-20 inches,which is a crazy amount of snow to be dealing with.(on top of the last round)Digging out our cars was like making a snow fort,natural isolation from the neighbors and the world.With this one...we'll have our own snow castle! At 5'1, said snow totals will just about bury me(not including the drifts)It's definatly a winter for the record books.Got my Diet Coke stash though...so bring on Round #2!!
(Keeping the pump warm...)
Snow drift:
Monstercycles:
Shoveling out..
Deck:
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Saturday, February 06, 2010
The Ozprah Effect
I don't generally watch Oprah, unless I'm sitting in some waiting area where it's literally right in front of me, being seared into my brain. I think she's a person that, all in all, wants to do the right thing & cares about people. I respect her and the good that she's done.(and even if I did watch Oprah,it's in the same time slot as The Doctors and that talk show trumps the others)
But Dr. Oz is another story.I had to watch the show, because it was about diabetes & I was curious about it. So I went to YouTube(that evening) and watched it. On the second segment, as Dr. Oz was telling all of America that they were killing themselves and the amount of insulin required had to do with how "bad" one's diabetes is, I lost it. I tweeted my honest opinion of him, and it wasn't a nice tweet.(YOU ARE STUPID) Apparently, though, I am not alone in my opinion & the re-tweets poured in, making me feel slightly better about the outrageous (for me) post. Cue in to him visiting a type 1 women in a hospital, who'd had several amputations and was waiting on another kidney transplant.He held her hand why she cried about how she wished she'd cared for herself better. If I were in such a position, no amount of tv-prestige could induce me to get on national tv and recite my problems.It's sad that she doesn't even seem to grasp what really caused her problems.(fluctuation,cumulative effects of blood sugars) Even more pathetic then that, however, is how Dr. Oz pretended to care...sensationalism at it's finest. Does a man(and I use that term very loosely) who thinks insulin is evil really give two beans a bout a critically ill, psychologically fragile diabetic? Especially if (quote) "type 1's don't produce enough insulin" and therefore, if you're eating evil sugar and taking evil insulin to cover it of course you are going to have complications. Of course he doesn't. A physician of that caliber is not a physician I'd stand to be around, much less unload my woes on national television to. I feel sorry for that women and anyone else who listens(and believes) that self-
righteous piece of over-inflated ego. Because, for some people, it really is only about the power. It's so sad to see that on national tv.
And that power has just made the lives of millions of D's worse, not better. There were so many inaccuracies in there I can't name them all, but now we get to deal with the fallout of the "Ozprah Effect." For too many people, what is said on Oprah, must be the gospel truth.(no questions asked)
But Dr. Oz is another story.I had to watch the show, because it was about diabetes & I was curious about it. So I went to YouTube(that evening) and watched it. On the second segment, as Dr. Oz was telling all of America that they were killing themselves and the amount of insulin required had to do with how "bad" one's diabetes is, I lost it. I tweeted my honest opinion of him, and it wasn't a nice tweet.(YOU ARE STUPID) Apparently, though, I am not alone in my opinion & the re-tweets poured in, making me feel slightly better about the outrageous (for me) post. Cue in to him visiting a type 1 women in a hospital, who'd had several amputations and was waiting on another kidney transplant.He held her hand why she cried about how she wished she'd cared for herself better. If I were in such a position, no amount of tv-prestige could induce me to get on national tv and recite my problems.It's sad that she doesn't even seem to grasp what really caused her problems.(fluctuation,cumulative effects of blood sugars) Even more pathetic then that, however, is how Dr. Oz pretended to care...sensationalism at it's finest. Does a man(and I use that term very loosely) who thinks insulin is evil really give two beans a bout a critically ill, psychologically fragile diabetic? Especially if (quote) "type 1's don't produce enough insulin" and therefore, if you're eating evil sugar and taking evil insulin to cover it of course you are going to have complications. Of course he doesn't. A physician of that caliber is not a physician I'd stand to be around, much less unload my woes on national television to. I feel sorry for that women and anyone else who listens(and believes) that self-
righteous piece of over-inflated ego. Because, for some people, it really is only about the power. It's so sad to see that on national tv.
And that power has just made the lives of millions of D's worse, not better. There were so many inaccuracies in there I can't name them all, but now we get to deal with the fallout of the "Ozprah Effect." For too many people, what is said on Oprah, must be the gospel truth.(no questions asked)
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Notes from a Spinning Planet: Manual Check
Manual check. Oh wait, I never read manuals, preferring instead to spend 45 minutes on hold with a CSR, to find a solution to my problem. I hate trying to find something in a book.
My diabetes educator called today. I guess both she and my (8 months pregnant) endo are getting tired of (un)meshing method from madness and want something easier. When I saw the DE last month, I brought I written log and we downloaded pump/cgm reports there.
The problem with my pump reports is, I don't consistently input carbs, even when I do bolus for them. So later, there's a string of erratic numbers & data that I don't remember what it may have been caused by. Throw in a Dexcom graph and a did-it-the-night-before log and it's a yoyo effect from who knows where.
So she suggested using the "Event" marker on my CGM. Confession: I've never used them, which explained my utter amazement when I found out that you could input units of insulin/carbs/minutes of exercise(and severity), alcohol, illness, menses, etc. WOW! When I updated my Dex last year, I never even heard about all those options. I just figured it was a "x" marks the event kind of deal, and you couldn't get specific. This is awesome, because now I can put it all in my cgm and have the insulin/bg/etc. data all together in one report.
I should read manuals, it would make my life(and other people's) so much easier. Putting it on my resolutions list.
And, in other news, my insurance co has decided not to cover diabetes education anymore and I have a nice (not so little)$250 bill from January's appt. They have always covered them 100%, so I'm not sure what's up, but I sure won't be going again until I can get this resolved. Beginning of the year sticker shock, it happens every year.(even when you think you know what tricks they might pull)
My diabetes educator called today. I guess both she and my (8 months pregnant) endo are getting tired of (un)meshing method from madness and want something easier. When I saw the DE last month, I brought I written log and we downloaded pump/cgm reports there.
The problem with my pump reports is, I don't consistently input carbs, even when I do bolus for them. So later, there's a string of erratic numbers & data that I don't remember what it may have been caused by. Throw in a Dexcom graph and a did-it-the-night-before log and it's a yoyo effect from who knows where.
So she suggested using the "Event" marker on my CGM. Confession: I've never used them, which explained my utter amazement when I found out that you could input units of insulin/carbs/minutes of exercise(and severity), alcohol, illness, menses, etc. WOW! When I updated my Dex last year, I never even heard about all those options. I just figured it was a "x" marks the event kind of deal, and you couldn't get specific. This is awesome, because now I can put it all in my cgm and have the insulin/bg/etc. data all together in one report.
I should read manuals, it would make my life(and other people's) so much easier. Putting it on my resolutions list.
And, in other news, my insurance co has decided not to cover diabetes education anymore and I have a nice (not so little)$250 bill from January's appt. They have always covered them 100%, so I'm not sure what's up, but I sure won't be going again until I can get this resolved. Beginning of the year sticker shock, it happens every year.(even when you think you know what tricks they might pull)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
That's Not My Name
(with apologies to the Ting Tings)
Sittin' here, as I'm rhyming my song & it's
Not the best, but don't get me wrong cuz I
Still keep thinking, it'll turn out just fine
I'm still me, not just a disease.
If they could just see beyond the fingersticks
Not just a number,to this name
But it reads high, and alas it ends
as they start right in with all the blame..ame..ame..ame..
They call me Su-guh
They call me Sweet Stuff
They call me Splenda
They call me 'betic
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
They call me non-compliant
But I'm not on some diet
Betty-Bop-Weirdo
Always some dame
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
The meter drops, and I don't break it's fall
I'm sure all my friends must be appalled
Pick it up, be a good little D
But there's so much more to this deep complexity.
Don't wanna be defined by something so vague
With a rule book written back in the Dark Age
All I really want them to see
That although it's part of me, it's not all I am..am..am..am..
They call me Su-guh
They call me Sweet Stuff
They call me Splenda
They call me 'betic
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
They call me non-compliant
But I'm not on some diet
Betty-Bop-Weirdo
Always some dame
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
Are you calling me Sweetie?
Are you calling me Hon?
Are you calling me Sweetie?
Are you calling me Hon?
They call me Su-guh
They call me Sweet Stuff
They call me Splenda
They call me 'betic
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
They call me non-compliant
But I'm not on some diet
Betty-Bop-Weirdo
Always some dame
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
Sittin' here, as I'm rhyming my song & it's
Not the best, but don't get me wrong cuz I
Still keep thinking, it'll turn out just fine
I'm still me, not just a disease.
If they could just see beyond the fingersticks
Not just a number,to this name
But it reads high, and alas it ends
as they start right in with all the blame..ame..ame..ame..
They call me Su-guh
They call me Sweet Stuff
They call me Splenda
They call me 'betic
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
They call me non-compliant
But I'm not on some diet
Betty-Bop-Weirdo
Always some dame
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
The meter drops, and I don't break it's fall
I'm sure all my friends must be appalled
Pick it up, be a good little D
But there's so much more to this deep complexity.
Don't wanna be defined by something so vague
With a rule book written back in the Dark Age
All I really want them to see
That although it's part of me, it's not all I am..am..am..am..
They call me Su-guh
They call me Sweet Stuff
They call me Splenda
They call me 'betic
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
They call me non-compliant
But I'm not on some diet
Betty-Bop-Weirdo
Always some dame
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
Are you calling me Sweetie?
Are you calling me Hon?
Are you calling me Sweetie?
Are you calling me Hon?
They call me Su-guh
They call me Sweet Stuff
They call me Splenda
They call me 'betic
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
They call me non-compliant
But I'm not on some diet
Betty-Bop-Weirdo
Always some dame
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
That's not my name
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Down the Rabbit Hole
Last Saturday, I took the TEAS test. It's a 4-part, pre-nursing entrance exam that's required for one of the programs I'm applying to.(not every program requires it) Why on earth they require pre-nursing exams in the first place beats me,because you more then show you're qualified with the transcript,essay,letters of recommenation,etc. but whatever.I brushed up on the math part with the help of my Phd husband (who eats the stuff alive,in direct contast to me) and got to the campus about an hour early. The campus was pretty confusing, there were about 7-10 buildings & no numbers in sight.(to figure out where you were going) Drove around till I found a building with a fair amount of activity going on outside,& figured it might be the place.And that soon proved to be the case,as I met up with other cluelessly wandering test-takers.At 9,we were all duly ushered into the lecture hall & told there'd be one bathroom break,no exceptions.
Guess whose blood glucose was 265? Yeah, that would be mine. This news is not the greatest tp hear when your bladder is in high blood glucose,PMS'ng,spastic mode.
The first section,reading,was a snap.But predictably,by that point my bladder was sending out strong signals.I asked the moderator and she said no.Not unless I wanted to forfeit the remainder of the test,(and see my nursing career go up in smoke)and thus flunk.
Math was next.I tried to focus,too little avail.Rushed the test,& spent the rest of the time repeating "You are hard-core,"(Greys Anatomy reference,when said person couldn't go to the bathroom for 8 hours because they were doing surgery )to keep from going totally beserk from the uncomfortableness.Somehow,I got through it & rushed off to the facilities.Blood sugar was now..289!Took a strong correction bolus,and went back to the test.
Next was Science.Ugh,it was horrible.Much of the stuff I haven't seen since 10th grade bio.That wax definatly a subject I should have brushed up on. The whole thing was beginning to have the vibes of when a 17 year old me almost got kicked out of the ACT for eating a glucose tablet,very high-schoolish.In both content,& utter control by the moderator.
I have diabetes,why do I have to make excuses for taking care of my body functions? I'm a 28 year old adult,who doesn't particurally relish begging for permission to use the restroom,etc. They aren't my healthcare providor & I haven't just had surgury. I didn't check my bg in the room,that would have been like instant dismassal.These people don't know what a blood glucose meter is,they're always thinking "Cheater!" before anything else.Clearly,I should have gotten an exception w/them pretest.I don't like to do that,it's rarely an issue but when it is..it sucks if you don't have something in place.Diabetes rarely plays by the rules.I have told my profs,if my pump is visible just so they know it's not a cellphone but on a state test they really don't care what you tell them,if it's not a documented exception,you're out of luck.I need to remember that.
Language-Vocab was last.That was easy,save 1 or 2 spelling words.(another subject I've never particurally loved)
Final BG:159. Now it's just wait and see, as to how I do on the exam & whether I should bother submitting the rest of the requirements to that school.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Guess whose blood glucose was 265? Yeah, that would be mine. This news is not the greatest tp hear when your bladder is in high blood glucose,PMS'ng,spastic mode.
The first section,reading,was a snap.But predictably,by that point my bladder was sending out strong signals.I asked the moderator and she said no.Not unless I wanted to forfeit the remainder of the test,(and see my nursing career go up in smoke)and thus flunk.
Math was next.I tried to focus,too little avail.Rushed the test,& spent the rest of the time repeating "You are hard-core,"(Greys Anatomy reference,when said person couldn't go to the bathroom for 8 hours because they were doing surgery )to keep from going totally beserk from the uncomfortableness.Somehow,I got through it & rushed off to the facilities.Blood sugar was now..289!Took a strong correction bolus,and went back to the test.
Next was Science.Ugh,it was horrible.Much of the stuff I haven't seen since 10th grade bio.That wax definatly a subject I should have brushed up on. The whole thing was beginning to have the vibes of when a 17 year old me almost got kicked out of the ACT for eating a glucose tablet,very high-schoolish.In both content,& utter control by the moderator.
I have diabetes,why do I have to make excuses for taking care of my body functions? I'm a 28 year old adult,who doesn't particurally relish begging for permission to use the restroom,etc. They aren't my healthcare providor & I haven't just had surgury. I didn't check my bg in the room,that would have been like instant dismassal.These people don't know what a blood glucose meter is,they're always thinking "Cheater!" before anything else.Clearly,I should have gotten an exception w/them pretest.I don't like to do that,it's rarely an issue but when it is..it sucks if you don't have something in place.Diabetes rarely plays by the rules.I have told my profs,if my pump is visible just so they know it's not a cellphone but on a state test they really don't care what you tell them,if it's not a documented exception,you're out of luck.I need to remember that.
Language-Vocab was last.That was easy,save 1 or 2 spelling words.(another subject I've never particurally loved)
Final BG:159. Now it's just wait and see, as to how I do on the exam & whether I should bother submitting the rest of the requirements to that school.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Stick(ing) Designs
In the early days of diabetes,there's a sort of bliss naivite about what it truly entails.A lifetime of pricks,math,and everything else.Like everyone else,you get your fancy new meter,diet log,and commence to stabbing yourself (dramatically) with a syringe to prove to your friends that it really doesn't hurt.(the truth is,it can&will but you aren't allowed to show weakness,without being thought of as a wimp,or pitied)
Time passes,the novelty wears off.Soon,you could care less what number The Great Grey/Black/Pink Meter will spit back at you.You'll be doing this again in a few hours anyway.It's just a meter,despite the 5 second countdowns&tiny blood samples&wireless Beam Me Up (to the pump)Scotty technology.Yes,we've come along way from even 1998(45 second countdowns,huge blood sample sizes) but we have a long way to go.I have given more gallons of blood to the vampire machines then I have to the Red Cross.(&that would be 35 pints)Blood that could mean something,beyond the next insulin dose.Blood that could help me live life my way,not dictated by some disease.
But I continue to bleed,like every other D(who attempts management of the disease) on this planet.Because I bleed,I don't get squeemish about seeing it like I do other body substances.This came in handy,when I was a practicing EMT.Ask me to assist w/the bleeding patient,& I was ok with that.(asking me to help with the vomiting patient was another story.Especially beer vomit. The very combination made me want to double vomit) Blood is one of those substances you want to take proper precautions against,should it be someone else's,but so are other body secretions.It's very archaic that in the 21st century we still have to bleed,to manage our disease,it should be history by now.CGM's should be as accurate as meters.
I received my new D-Kit from StickMe Designs(for winning the Diabetes Mine contest) & while I gotta say,testing is still a drag it helps ALOT to have a fun new case.You can see what I mean below.
Old:
New:
This thing has CLASS.3 inside zippered pouches,3 elastic bands for meter/tester/glucose tabs,logbook flap,outside zippered pouch & a carrying strap.Versus the 1 mesh,1 logbook flap,huge vast space of my old carrier.I still have diabetes,but tonight,it sucks a little less.It's brilliancy in a white/pink canvas.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Time passes,the novelty wears off.Soon,you could care less what number The Great Grey/Black/Pink Meter will spit back at you.You'll be doing this again in a few hours anyway.It's just a meter,despite the 5 second countdowns&tiny blood samples&wireless Beam Me Up (to the pump)Scotty technology.Yes,we've come along way from even 1998(45 second countdowns,huge blood sample sizes) but we have a long way to go.I have given more gallons of blood to the vampire machines then I have to the Red Cross.(&that would be 35 pints)Blood that could mean something,beyond the next insulin dose.Blood that could help me live life my way,not dictated by some disease.
But I continue to bleed,like every other D(who attempts management of the disease) on this planet.Because I bleed,I don't get squeemish about seeing it like I do other body substances.This came in handy,when I was a practicing EMT.Ask me to assist w/the bleeding patient,& I was ok with that.(asking me to help with the vomiting patient was another story.Especially beer vomit. The very combination made me want to double vomit) Blood is one of those substances you want to take proper precautions against,should it be someone else's,but so are other body secretions.It's very archaic that in the 21st century we still have to bleed,to manage our disease,it should be history by now.CGM's should be as accurate as meters.
I received my new D-Kit from StickMe Designs(for winning the Diabetes Mine contest) & while I gotta say,testing is still a drag it helps ALOT to have a fun new case.You can see what I mean below.
Old:
New:
This thing has CLASS.3 inside zippered pouches,3 elastic bands for meter/tester/glucose tabs,logbook flap,outside zippered pouch & a carrying strap.Versus the 1 mesh,1 logbook flap,huge vast space of my old carrier.I still have diabetes,but tonight,it sucks a little less.It's brilliancy in a white/pink canvas.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Monday, January 18, 2010
Little Grey Transmitter
Friday night,my Dexcom reading cut off, cold.(after about 5 minutes of ??? marks) I looked down at my site, and the tape was still there...undisturbed. It's like my transmitter jumped up out of skin and went AWOL. It was really strange,as I'd felt nothing being jerked out. I figured I'd look for it later.
5 AM, I get up and start turning the room upside down looking for it. An hour later, no transmitter. I knew I hadn't gone out of the room and it MUST be in the room, unless it fell in the toilet & if that were the case, I'd be royally screwed.($350 literally down the drain)Went back to bed.
9 AM, I got up again, and resumed my search. And found it.
Under a rug!
It's odd how emotionally dependent we can be, on technology.(that can fail on us anytime, anywhere. We really don't "need" this stuff to survive..and yet, we feel that we do.) And it can get lost.(I estimate I've lost every piece of D-related stuff I've owned at least twice) Few invoke any sort of panic though.(only the pump,or a piece of CGM gear) Losing a meter is no big deal(I have many), losing a receiver or transmitter is a huge, expensive, deal. It's kind of like (I imagine) losing a kid would be..first you panic, go a bit crazy, find the kid, and are mad/relieved/keyed up all over again.It's an emotional roller coaster.
5 AM, I get up and start turning the room upside down looking for it. An hour later, no transmitter. I knew I hadn't gone out of the room and it MUST be in the room, unless it fell in the toilet & if that were the case, I'd be royally screwed.($350 literally down the drain)Went back to bed.
9 AM, I got up again, and resumed my search. And found it.
Under a rug!
It's odd how emotionally dependent we can be, on technology.(that can fail on us anytime, anywhere. We really don't "need" this stuff to survive..and yet, we feel that we do.) And it can get lost.(I estimate I've lost every piece of D-related stuff I've owned at least twice) Few invoke any sort of panic though.(only the pump,or a piece of CGM gear) Losing a meter is no big deal(I have many), losing a receiver or transmitter is a huge, expensive, deal. It's kind of like (I imagine) losing a kid would be..first you panic, go a bit crazy, find the kid, and are mad/relieved/keyed up all over again.It's an emotional roller coaster.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Home, Home on the Range
Home, Home on the Range
Where the glucose never doth change
Where never is seen
A Four-hundred-fourteen
And a ketone is something quite strange..
Back to the D.E. again today. I am the type of person/patient that requires accountability..and a periodic good (mental) kick-in-the-pants to stay
on the control bandwagon. With my Endo's maternity leave looming ever nearer,she'll
shortly be out of the picture & I'll have to adjust to someone new. The DE, I know though,and it's a more comfortable situation. I need intervention,or bad habits soon creep back in and my a1c marches steadily upwards.
We discussed my horrific post-meal swings,& possible solutions to them. Now that I'm finally back to the normal insanity(vs the 400+ insanity), I'm trying to get re-used to normal blood sugars & that's just not pleasant at all. At 110, I'm shoving everything into my mouth & at 90, I'm catatonic. I need to be lower, but where's the good of being 100 (or 90) if you can't prevent yourself from eating everything in sight and becoming 220 again? DE says just eat a small snack..that's not happening.(I'm starving to death below a certain number) In my mind, I need to adjust to being 160...130..100 (in increments) not seesawing madly from one extreme to the next.(Steady is a good thing) I'm willing to try pre-bolusing though.(I have a Dexcom..I can do this. I will (hopefully) not end up on the floor. Pre-bolusing should help those post-meal numbers. (and the a1c) Pre-meal numbers are looking pretty good, but the post-meal swings aren't.
Where the glucose never doth change
Where never is seen
A Four-hundred-fourteen
And a ketone is something quite strange..
Back to the D.E. again today. I am the type of person/patient that requires accountability..and a periodic good (mental) kick-in-the-pants to stay
on the control bandwagon. With my Endo's maternity leave looming ever nearer,she'll
shortly be out of the picture & I'll have to adjust to someone new. The DE, I know though,and it's a more comfortable situation. I need intervention,or bad habits soon creep back in and my a1c marches steadily upwards.
We discussed my horrific post-meal swings,& possible solutions to them. Now that I'm finally back to the normal insanity(vs the 400+ insanity), I'm trying to get re-used to normal blood sugars & that's just not pleasant at all. At 110, I'm shoving everything into my mouth & at 90, I'm catatonic. I need to be lower, but where's the good of being 100 (or 90) if you can't prevent yourself from eating everything in sight and becoming 220 again? DE says just eat a small snack..that's not happening.(I'm starving to death below a certain number) In my mind, I need to adjust to being 160...130..100 (in increments) not seesawing madly from one extreme to the next.(Steady is a good thing) I'm willing to try pre-bolusing though.(I have a Dexcom..I can do this. I will (hopefully) not end up on the floor. Pre-bolusing should help those post-meal numbers. (and the a1c) Pre-meal numbers are looking pretty good, but the post-meal swings aren't.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Towards 2011
Here's a list of goals/resolutions for 2010:
-In so far as it is up to me, avoid maxing out said deductible with horrendous copays. It isn't the getting of subsequent services free that is disturbing, its the amount spent getting there, that's disturbing.I need to get my docs to write for the max amount allowed, and utilize those supplies better. Of course, the cost of supplies has gone up..so that'll skyrocket me towards my deductible as well.
-Get my a1c under 7. Things aren't off to a real great start, failed sets and sickness and stress and blah-blah-blah helping my collective average be more like 300.(I don't even want to think of what that translates to,a1c wise) I need to aggressively treat my highs,& stop worrying so much about lows.(because clearly, that is not a problem right now. Haven't had any since the last decade!)
-Get organized, beyond just being able to find important papers,etc. The "Junk Room" must rival the orginization of the "Lincoln Bedroom"...a place that I could actually let a non-family member in there.(without dying of shame)
-Get genetically tested for my subset of Bartter's Syndrome, learn exact chances of passing it on. Get things regulated with pumping magnesium-I want to be as knowledgable/proficient in that, as I am (not) in my diabetes management. I want to get to the point where bloodwork ever so often, is the only medical intervention I'd require.
-Go to a diabetes conferance. (or two or three)
-Meet more DOC bloggers.
-Finish off my last prereq, get into a nursing school program in the fall!
-Publish my book.(hahahahaha)
-Update my blog(lmk if you'd like your blog to be in the bloglines)..and get at least 1 new follower!
-Get tickets to, and attend a Doctor's TV taping. We're out there in SoCal several times a year anyway...its all a matter of matching up the dates.(considerably more difficult on their end, then mine)
-Exercise more.(of course, which ensures that I probably won't because I'm not going to commit to going 3+ times a week.I'm going to do it when I can. That's being realistic.)
-In so far as it is up to me, avoid maxing out said deductible with horrendous copays. It isn't the getting of subsequent services free that is disturbing, its the amount spent getting there, that's disturbing.I need to get my docs to write for the max amount allowed, and utilize those supplies better. Of course, the cost of supplies has gone up..so that'll skyrocket me towards my deductible as well.
-Get my a1c under 7. Things aren't off to a real great start, failed sets and sickness and stress and blah-blah-blah helping my collective average be more like 300.(I don't even want to think of what that translates to,a1c wise) I need to aggressively treat my highs,& stop worrying so much about lows.(because clearly, that is not a problem right now. Haven't had any since the last decade!)
-Get organized, beyond just being able to find important papers,etc. The "Junk Room" must rival the orginization of the "Lincoln Bedroom"...a place that I could actually let a non-family member in there.(without dying of shame)
-Get genetically tested for my subset of Bartter's Syndrome, learn exact chances of passing it on. Get things regulated with pumping magnesium-I want to be as knowledgable/proficient in that, as I am (not) in my diabetes management. I want to get to the point where bloodwork ever so often, is the only medical intervention I'd require.
-Go to a diabetes conferance. (or two or three)
-Meet more DOC bloggers.
-Finish off my last prereq, get into a nursing school program in the fall!
-Publish my book.(hahahahaha)
-Update my blog(lmk if you'd like your blog to be in the bloglines)..and get at least 1 new follower!
-Get tickets to, and attend a Doctor's TV taping. We're out there in SoCal several times a year anyway...its all a matter of matching up the dates.(considerably more difficult on their end, then mine)
-Exercise more.(of course, which ensures that I probably won't because I'm not going to commit to going 3+ times a week.I'm going to do it when I can. That's being realistic.)
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